Porthos – in his right mind – only knew what the tooth fairy even was because of watching a million and one movies with baby Louis. It seemed a ridiculous fairy tale then – harmless, a little creepy, but fine all in all. In his current mindset, being the tooth fairy was his sole reason for existing. His wings were missing and well, that did upset him, but there was so much work to do. He’d just have to find them later. Or maybe he could get a little help from Athos.
Despite his lack of wings, he still managed to flit over to where Athos was standing just inside the door. He hadn't been able to find his gown either so he'd tied a sheet around himself like a short toga.
“Hello, morning, hi. No time to dilly dally, mate. I don’t have my list of kids to visit so I’ll have to go door to door. Which would be much easier if I could find where my bloody wings have gone off to!”
It took a moment of blank staring as he watched Porthos daintily tiptoe or whatever it was that he was doing in his direction while wearing a sheet before Athos could formulate words. He knew that Atlantis had a way of wreaking havoc on people's behaviors and at the moment, he was actually pleased that this one hadn't landed on him. Porthos would easily laugh it off later, he was sure.
So instead he leaned against the door frame and crossed his arms. "So it sounds like we need to find some wings and your list?" It would probably be easier to just play along until this wore off, right?
“I should, well I should know the list but I can’t think of it.” Porthos floated back towards the kitchen on light feet. “I assume something’s amiss since the wings aren’t exactly meant to come off either, yeah?” He spun in a circle a little distractedly, the end of the toga flaring out around his knees. There was a wand, under the kitchen table. It was a toy and belonged to a certain toddler in the house, but Porthos snatched it up like he’d been missing it all morning.
“Now we’re getting somewhere.” Squinting at Athos, he pointed the wand in his direction. “I know you’re not a fairy, but you’re resourceful. Where would you look for stolen wings?”
He wasn't looking for a bow, so this couldn't be a cupid thing. Plus it was too late for Valentine's. Maybe an angel of some sort, but he didn't know of any with lists - he had to admit his grasp of religion was shaky at best this last decade or two. And now a children's wand and honestly he'd never seen Porthos this nimble. He made a mental note to see if they could tap into that during training, because it could make the man near unstoppable in melee if he could move that well with his size.
"Thank you, I like to think so. But I'm not aware of any-- well, I have seen a shop advertising wings for $8.99. I suspect it's not your wings, but worth checking out?" Athos gave a soft shrug and had to admit this was at least somewhat amusing.
Porthos laughed and clapped a hand on Athos’ shoulder. “I doubt those would work quite the same, Athos.” He flashed a patronizing smile, as if he didn’t have a toy wand in his hand, in Atlantis where everything was bloody odd. Spotting the danishes on the counter, he grabbed one off the top of the plate. Breakfast on the run was bad for his teeth, but needs must. He took a bite and gave the kitchen another once over for his wings, just in case.
“Suppose I’ll just have to hoof it today and hope for a little magical aid. There aren’t as many children here as an entire planet at least. I bet if I knew which ones had lost teeth, I could be done before lunch,” Porthos sighed.
Well, the fact that he wasn't completely delusional and knew a hot wing from a fairy wing was at least a little bit warming, though the distraction probably could have helped wear off some of this strangeness. Athos pursed his lips for a moment and raised a finger. "One second, Porthos," he noted, pulling out his tablet to look up details about fairies or angels that collected the teeth of children. There were immediate returns about a Tooth Fairy, which France did not seem to have so that cleared up his confusion.
"Ah, the Tooth Fairy, is it?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "I believe your work is meant to be done under the cover of night. Maybe the list and the wings will only show up when it's time to work."
“Yes, but--” Porthos held up his wand for a pause, still chewing down his last mouthful. “--I woke up in bed just now, Athos. That means I didn’t work at all last night. Who knows how behind I am!” In his head was a schedule for a world that likely didn’t even exist and a constant scurry of work across an entire planet. It was always night somewhere after all. It didn’t especially translate well to a weird island that existed out of time and space.
“Though I suppose you have a point about the daytime. Can’t go running around where the kids can see.” Tristan was off to daycare already so at least he wasn’t a concern. “Maybe I can go in disguise…,” he hummed thoughtfully.
"Maybe you can make the best of it and visit the school to educate children on good dental care?" offered Athos, including a soft shrug. He really had no idea what to do with this and was willing to entertain Porthos with it as much as possible, but they couldn't just sit around talking about wings and lists and he needed to discourage the idea of breaking into homes to look for teeth.
"I'll go with you, that way no one will suspect who you really are." Not that anyone would suspect that Porthos was anything but Porthos, but if Athos could help him feel like he was succeeding at something, maybe that'd help this wear off sooner.
“That’s not a bad idea,” Porthos sighed. It wasn’t what he felt like his job was meant to be, but it was somewhere to start. Maybe he could just make up any missed visits from the night before with an extra treat when he did his rounds tonight. Who knew, maybe by then he’d know where to go and not just be fumbling around the housing area like a burglar.
“Thanks, mate.” He patted Athos on the arm. “I’m gonna go brush my teeth first.” He lowered his chin and gave his friend a pointed stare. “You should, too. Assuming you’ve eaten already. If not, grab a danish….and then go brush your teeth.”