SIRIUS BLACK + REMUS LUPIN
Low, but they are definitely intoxicated | Complete
"C'mon, Moony. It's never too early for 'God Rest Ye Merry Hippogriffs.' Don' matter that it's almost Halloween, or hang on…" Sirius leaned an arm around Remus, conspiratorially. "...do they celebrate Halloween in Atlantis? We've got to introduce them. Don' think Prongs'll be too keen on it…"
Sirius's thoughts were muddled from the mead. They'd left Prongs somewhere; though, Sirius wouldn't have been able to say where exactly. Nor would he have been able to explain, even though it had been explained to him repeatedly, why Moony was older than the both of them now. Sirius was still taller, mind. Still better looking, too, not that he was about to say that to his friend.
"How's that time thing work again?"
Remus didn’t think he was keen on Halloween either - but if his friends wanted to celebrate, it’d be a good distraction from what he was liable to spend all night thinking about instead, despite James and Lily’s presence there. “Think they’ve got it, mate,” he said, his voice slurring slightly. It’d be a while since he’d had that much to drink, and he felt every bit. “They’ve got everythin’ here.”
He frowned. As glad as he was to have his best friends back again, it came with a slew of questions he didn’t want to rehash. James was happy enough to avoid it, but Sirius? Remus was even worse at keeping things from Sirius. “You know how there’s loads of people from different places? Han Solo? Same thing with time. Dunno how it works. It just…” Remus shrugged. “It just does. Aberforth’s from years before he met us, I’m later than you. And Harry’s grown. It’s a bloody mess.”
He'd had too much to drink, but he doubted, sober or not, whether Moony's words would ever make sense to him. "That it is, and here, you are, older than the lot of us. 'Cept Peter. Suspect he could still find his way here. Haven't seen him in a fair bit." Indeed, it had been a few months since Sirius had seen all of his friends in one place, and longer perhaps, since he had trusted them all. Sirius trusted James implicitly. But the others? He let out a slow breath, feeling fuzzy around the edges. If he couldn't trust Remus, would the coin have brought him here? And what about Peter? And what happened on Halloween that everyone seemed so keen to avoid? "S'been a long time since we've all been in the same place, hasn't it?"
The mention of Peter made Remus stiffen, even though he might’ve tried to hide that while sober. The alcohol - and the upcoming full moon - made his emotions run hotter than normal, and he knew Sirius would notice.
If Peter ever arrived, Remus felt sure he’d kill him. Or at least severely maim. Their former friend had wrecked everything, after all they’d done for him. Remus didn’t think he could forgive that. “Yeah, it’s been a long time,” he agreed, even though it hasn’t been all that long for him, but it might as well had been forever. His throat felt tight. “I was - I was busy. I wasn’t around as much as I should’ve been. Dumbledore had me off doing things for him and I - I wasn’t there.”
"I - I thought you might have been -" Sirius looked at Remus, uncertain. He didn't think it could have been Remus, not if they were both here, and not if James was okay with it all. Surely, Atlantis had rules against that sort of thing. "I didn't know. Dumbledore's had us all over the place. It's been mad. And --" Even drunk, Sirius knew well enough to avoid the subject of James and Halloween. "It wasn't you, was it? James is from a bit in the future, so I reckon he knows, but I -- I don't want to know. I just want to know that we're alright…"
“It,” Remus started to tell Sirius the truth, but he hesitated. James hadn't wanted to know all the answers either. Remus wished he could explain and share some of the burden, but if they didn’t want to know, he wasn’t going to force them. But more than anything else, he’d been lonely and sad. He wasn’t going to hold it against Sirius, not anymore.
He turned to face Sirius and put his hands on his friend’s shoulders. He knew the truth, and he reckoned Sirius would be able to guess the truth now, but what he really wanted was for Sirius to understand. “We’re all right. Yeah?” He looked seriously at his friend. “You’re my best mate. We’re always gonna be all right. I don’t care - what happened with us, it doesn’t matter anymore. You’re here and I’m here and that’s the important thing.”
Sirius pulled Remus into a tight embrace. He hadn't known the weight of his suspicions and anxiety until they were gone. But he had missed Remus. He had missed the three -- no, four -- of them. It had been easier when they'd been at Hogwarts, easier when the war seemed a far off thing and not immediate, pressing down upon them. "Yeah, we're all right. I'm -- I'm sorry I ever thought otherwise. I know we're here, and it doesn't matter, and whatever happens… It doesn't matter. I'm sorry." Sirius would later blame the alcohol for this sudden rush of emotions, for the way he wanted to hold on and not let go. He hated that he ever suspected one of his best friends, that the war had done this to them.
Letting his instincts get the better of him, Remus buried his face against the crook of his friend’s neck, breathing in everything that was warm and alive and Sirius. Everything had gone so wrong between them. He didn’t quite know where they started to distrust each other, but he knew he regretted ever letting anything colour their judgement. Never again, Remus thought.
When he pulled away, his eyes were watery and he swiped at them, embarrassed. It’d always been Sirius whose opinion mattered most. He loved James too, had loved Peter once upon a time, but Sirius was different. “You’ve missed so much, you ridiculous arse.”
Sirius looked away. He'd always known that James was his best mate, the one he trusted without question, and he liked Peter well enough. But his relationship with Remus was different. Not that he was about to run headlong into that wall of emotions tonight. It was enough that they were all together again. Sort of.
"Isn't my fault you've gone and grown up without me, Moony. You were always the mature one."
“It isn’t my fault you --” Left me all alone. The words dried up in his mouth. That wasn’t fair, not really. He knew why Sirius left. If he’d known the truth at the time, Remus was sure he would’ve tried to do exactly what Sirius had.
Remus shook his head, and some of his hair fell over his eyes for a moment. He tried to brush it out of the way but it didn’t work well. “I grew up and had a son, Sirius.” Teddy was brilliant, of course, and Remus was beyond proud, but it was still hard to wrap his head around. “And I was a professor! At Hogwarts! For just a year, but it’s enough that loads of Harry’s mates know who I am and call me Professor Lupin. It’s mental.”
"Don't know what you're on about. Of all of us, you'd make the best professor. Dumbledore must have been mental not to have kept you on." Sirius did his best to keep his voice lighthearted. Even as intoxicated as he was, it was hard not to notice when Remus had stiffened earlier at Peter's name. Harder still not to notice the way Remus's words had trailed off. His mouth felt suddenly dry. "And the rest of us? Do we -- "
Sirius didn't look at Remus for a long moment. He didn't necessarily want to know his future, not tonight. He wanted to go back to the mead, to almost passing out in James's lap, to 'God Rest Ye Merry Hippogriffs' - a song for all occasions. It was the alcohol that had made him stupid enough to ask, and it was the alcohol that made him backtrack just as quickly. "Should we call you professor? Professor Lupin? That's it, right?"
“But -” But Sirius wasn’t wrong. He was the best of all of them for that sort of position, and Remus knew that. He’d always known that. It was a dream that had somehow become reality that had gotten snatched away just as fast. Story of his life, really.
He rolled his eyes and shook his head, shoving Sirius away playfully. “Please, no. It’s strange enough Harry’s schoolmates say it. From you, it’s nearly some sort of pet name.”
"C'mon, professor, it's not that bad." Sirius moved carefully out of Remus's reach. He figured that 'being drunk' only served so far as an excuse. It wasn't so much that he was making fun of Remus's accomplishment. Sirius was glad that one of them had achieved something respectful, and Remus was the most deserving of that. "Say, if you're a professor, or were, or will be, or however that works, and you flood a school corridor to build a swimming pool, do you give yourself detention? Or, is that merely a benefit of the job?"
Remus chuckled. “You’re bloody ridiculous,” he muttered, but it was all fondness, all love. Sirius had been a pain in his backside the entire time he was a Prefect, but it had all been well worth it in the end.
He straightened his shoulders, trying to adopt what he assumed was a more professor-like air. “I ought to have a cardigan for this. Right then. I’d say… if I were a professor, I would plan a swimming pool, and so, I’d have all the approval from the headmaster already, so there’d be no need for a detention. This is why you’ve always needed me. I have all the plans.” He said it with certainty, and a nod of his head.
Sirius smirked. "Ridiculous, but you love me for it. You ought to have asked the headmaster for permission when you were a prefect. We could have used a swimming pool in the castle, or maybe… think we could have fit a Quidditch Pitch? Too bloody cold in the winter to walk across the grounds." The winters in Scotland had been brutal, and he'd frozen more than a few times going to see James play.
He nudged Remus with his elbow. "I am glad you're here, even if… this isn't how we planned for it to go. Not that, mind you, I'd have given up the chance to be on a mystical island with Han Solo. McGonagall must have purposefully left that out of our NEWT-level plans."
Remus nudged Sirius back. He was glad, too. Desperately glad. None of their lives had turned out how they’d planned when they were at Hogwarts. Remus had expected to enjoy the bachelor life with Sirius for as long as he could, at least until Sirius decided to settle down, which had seemed more likely than Remus doing it. There would have been visits with Harry probably every other day, nights where Sirius and Remus babysat so James and Lily could have a date. They would’ve won the war and all grown old together, side by side.
They couldn’t have that, but Atlantis was a good enough substitute. Here he could work and he could live free from judgement, and now his friends were all there, too. “I’ll give her a piece of my mind for not preparing us for this better, if she ever comes here,” he promised. “And in the meantime... I think we ought to take a page out of your book and live life to the fullest. What do you think?” It was a big thing for Remus to say that, and the hopeful, hesitant look on his face betrayed the confidence he tried to instill in his voice.
Sirius had never thought much further than the present moment. He was used to living his life on the edge of a precipice -- first, as the dishonored heir of his family, and later, as a member of the Order. It wasn't that he didn't expect to win the war, or grow old, but it had felt less and less likely over the past few months. It felt even less likely that he'd settle down. The very idea made his skin scrawl. Even so, if he had grown old, he'd expected to do it alongside Remus and James. Why should a magical island make that any different?
"I'd say I like the way you think." Sirius's own voice was filled with confidence, the sort of confidence that so often before had led him astray. He put an arm on Remus's shoulder tentatively. "And I'd say we're off to a brilliant start."