InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "who is Mumia?"

The Judges Of Sabra La Tau (sabra_la_iudex) wrote in sabra_la_tau,
@ 2011-09-02 17:36:00

Entry tags:

!days 260-269, !games, akin iyapo shing kaalnikanjlo, amami riku, ashikawa mitsuru, chrome dokuro, chrono, danielle 'dani' phantom, edward elric, ermillina 'snow white' curtana, excel, folken fanel, gokudera hayato, howard link, lenalee lee, nabuca, nakayama yayoi, shinonome hangetsu, sion astal, sokka, takizawa yuta, tazendra, temma, tifa lockhart, yuffie kisaragi, {chaz villette}, {ganymede}, {kuchiha}, {lumiere}, {vorona}, {wheatley}, {{{akatsuki chika}}}, ~haunted

Game 160
Who: Everyone
Where: Arena
When: Day 268, early morning
What: Haunted Game

[Childish giggling--is it male? Female? It’s impossible to tell--surrounds every blank as they heed today’s call. It’s barely audible, able to easily be ignored. But it is ever present. In the arena on the throne sits Haunted’s statue, headless as ever. Even without facial features she gives off the sense of being very pleased with herself.

Heavy mist covers the floor, giving off a strong sickly sweet scent. The smaller among the blanks may already feel themselves starting to grow woozy from its influences.]

Sign in | Mingle | Nightmares: Sion, Razzy, Thumper, Nishi, Lenalee | Endgame and revivals | Memories

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Re: ENDGAME AND REVIVALS

copyofaphantom
2011-09-06 05:36 am UTC (link)

[Grip tightens on your hand. NO. NO RUNNING!]

No, it's not!

Because I want to hate him! I want to hate him for lying to me and using me and for whatever he did that killed the other clones!

I want to hate him for making me betray a boy who was kind enough to consider me family after I was lying to him and hurt him!

I'd rather hate him than feel some weird, complicated feeling just because you defended yourself against him!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: ENDGAME AND REVIVALS

overclocking
2011-09-06 05:42 am UTC (link)

[Unfortunately I'm physically stronger than you at the moment, and I've decided the touching ends now. PULLING AWAY, even if he has to be a little rough about it.]

Hatred is just destructive. You can resent him for the things he did, and the things he led you to do, but you shouldn't wish to hate him.

And if you're feeling conflicted about resenting me, too- don't. Just do it.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: ENDGAME AND REVIVALS

copyofaphantom
2011-09-06 05:49 am UTC (link)

...

[Did...did you just....]

[And then her eyes flash green for a moment.]

Stop that! Just...stop that!

I won't hate anyone for attacking him! I won't resent someone for saving Edward from him doing what he did to me!

Because it's stupid to care for him! He won't ever care for me because all he is, all he ever WAS, was a monster who put on a smile to humor a little girl so he could get what he wanted! Even promising to SAVE HER and yet was willing to make a QUIP when he tried to kill me!

You were trying to save Edward! You were trying to save someone who is family to me, someone who LOVES me and CARES about me and proves it often from that...that...psychotic fruit loop!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: ENDGAME AND REVIVALS overclocking 2011-09-06 06:04 am UTC (link)
	[Just. Staring right back dispassionately.] I'm under the impression it's the principle of the matter that worries you as much as the specific situation. And I'm not faulting you for that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: ENDGAME AND REVIVALS copyofaphantom 2011-09-06 06:05 am UTC (link)
	Principle of the...what PRINCIPLE?! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: ENDGAME AND REVIVALS overclocking 2011-09-06 06:12 am UTC (link)
	You said it frightened you that I would be willing to kill someone- correct? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: ENDGAME AND REVIVALS copyofaphantom 2011-09-06 06:14 am UTC (link)
	[Did you...] .... [Opens mouth. Closes mouth.] [And just....FACEPALM. SHE IS FACEPALMING AT YOU CHRONO, THUS IS THE POWER OF HER RAGE. SHE ISN'T EVEN GETTING DEPRESSED ABOUT THIS BECAUSE SHE USUALLY WOULD BE.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: ENDGAME AND REVIVALS overclocking 2011-09-06 06:29 am UTC (link)
	[...just going to stare at you while you do that, then.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: ENDGAME AND REVIVALS copyofaphantom 2011-09-06 06:33 am UTC (link)
	[Taking a couple of deep breathes here.] Tide, do you know what that last room was? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: ENDGAME AND REVIVALS overclocking 2011-09-06 06:36 am UTC (link)
	No, I don't. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: ENDGAME AND REVIVALS

copyofaphantom
2011-09-06 06:40 am UTC (link)

... [Nods and just...letting the rage fuel her.]

I don't just 'die' Tide. I never just die and the next thing I know, I'm reviving. For a long time I didn't know that's how it usually went when people die here.

I remember, Tide. I remember every single second and it's almost always exactly like that. Except I don't have an escape I can take myself.

And that place terrifies me. It scares me more than anything else because that's what's waiting for me when I die, Tide. Here or back home.

And that's not something I wish on anyone.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: ENDGAME AND REVIVALS overclocking 2011-09-06 06:46 am UTC (link)
	Of course you wouldn't. Why would I ever assume otherwise? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: ENDGAME AND REVIVALS

copyofaphantom
2011-09-06 06:50 am UTC (link)

Don't be sarcastic! I'm making a point! [And there's the anger again.]

For a long time, I didn't know people didn't go through that. Maybe it's because I'm half ghost, maybe it's because I'm a clone, I DON'T KNOW. But I thought everyone went through that.

[Grits her teeth, clenching her fists, and her eyes flash, but it's not anger directed at him.] Mitsuru, Monty, Yayoi, Edward, Tsuna, and Jonas.

They are all people I've killed here. And even if my heart game can be excused, those first three CAN'T be.

I took a bet, I took a chance that I could cheat the game, but I knew what I was most likely going to do. I wanted to hope for the best, but in the end, I KILLED THREE PEOPLE! Never knowing they might not have it quite so horrible!

And Lacerta has had to kill several times.

So what are you asking me to do, TIde? WHAT ARE YOU REALLY ASKING ME TO DO?!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: ENDGAME AND REVIVALS overclocking 2011-09-06 07:00 am UTC (link)
	[...absorbing that for a minute and just...this conversation...] ...I'm not asking you to do anything other than accept what you're feeling. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: ENDGAME AND REVIVALS

copyofaphantom
2011-09-06 07:10 am UTC (link)

.... [I am this close to transforming JUST SO I CAN PUNCH YOU AND HAVE IT HURT.]

[And just...the twitching rage.]

OF COURSE IT SCARED ME! Death always scares me, it will always scare me, and that's why if anything started to hurt, it was usually TRYING TO KILL YOU. I'm not afraid of pain, I'm afraid of DEATH!

I will always be afraid of death, of that void, but weren't you telling me to be brave?! If I hate you, I'll have to hate everyone else I love too and I'd have to hate myself beyond what I already do!

But no, you don't want me to! And don't lie to me, you only want me to hate you because you believe you're some monster that doesn't deserve to exist.

Well, guess what! I know what a real monster looks like!

He's someone who can smile at a little girl, tell her he loves her, train her and guide her and let her think she's loved so he can get her to hurt someone who he can't control so he can make a clone of them for his own sick, twisted desires! A monster is someone who tricks a nice girl for months so he can get her to do his bidding, and make her believe him when he tells her the little girl whose clearly not healthy is out to kill him. A monster is someone who looks at a little girl he betrayed in the face and say an upgrade for a creepy hologram so she can be even more complimentary is more important than finding a cure for a dying girl. A monster is someone who will JOKE as he pulls the switch to rip apart a little girl molecule by molecule and maintain enough composure to do a whole little song and dance to convince that girl he tricked earlier that he's not a villain.

A monster is someone who destroys his daughter in every way imaginable WITHOUT EVEN TRYING.

I've seen a monster, so stop acting like YOU ARE ONE!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: ENDGAME AND REVIVALS

overclocking
2011-09-06 07:25 am UTC (link)

[You could. He probably wouldn't bother defending himself at the moment.]

Of course I don't want you to hate or fear me. But I don't want you to just pretend you have none of those feelings in the event that you do.

You don't know much about me, Razzy. I have things that motivate my decisions and perceptions just like you do. You should at least give me that much credit.

[Just...sighing and looking away. Probably shouldn't have walked you back.] If I had realized this conversation was going to upset you this much...

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: ENDGAME AND REVIVALS copyofaphantom 2011-09-06 07:28 am UTC (link)
	I'M THE ONE WHO JUST GOT YOU KILLED! I don't hate you. And I don't WANT to hate you! It's just...no, no, I won't! I refused to let my father manipulate my feelings for anyone else! He doesn't deserve that power over me. And stop trying to just...RUNNING from me! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: ENDGAME AND REVIVALS overclocking 2011-09-06 11:42 am UTC (link)
	No, you didn't! This is exactly what I didn't want you to do- blaming yourself for the things a Judge decides to do with your mind! And not things you actually chose to do! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	Re: ENDGAME AND REVIVALS overclocking 2011-09-06 11:48 am UTC (link)
	. . . . [Ffffuck, just, releasing a slow breath and bringing a hand up to his face for a moment...] How am I running away from you? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: ENDGAME AND REVIVALS

copyofaphantom
2011-09-06 12:05 pm UTC (link)

Well, it wouuldn't have been a problem if you fought! And I said 'got' not 'did!' You can't deny my involvement! [Even if she did blame herself.]

You keep acting like you're a horrible THING! Like everything is somehow your fault! You're even worse than Allen. But you never really explain why and just act like I should accept it. Well, I DON'T. And I WON'T. Judging without making your own decision from what you see isn't acceptable.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: ENDGAME AND REVIVALS overclocking 2011-09-06 12:25 pm UTC (link)
	[Not even going to go into the last part of that at the moment.] That still implies some kind of responsibility. You were involved insofar as you were a victim just like the rest of us. Perhaps the biggest victim. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: ENDGAME AND REVIVALS copyofaphantom 2011-09-06 12:27 pm UTC (link)
	There! Right there, you're avoiding your issues! I know my issues and there's just...a lot I need to sort through! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: ENDGAME AND REVIVALS overclocking 2011-09-06 12:32 pm UTC (link)
	...did you ever consider that there's a lot I need to sort through myself? It's not something you or anyone else should be troubling yourself with. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: ENDGAME AND REVIVALS

copyofaphantom
2011-09-06 12:45 pm UTC (link)

But you... [Damn it, why are you trapping me with your logic. >|]

....I'm not sane! All right?! I can recognize what people say is true, but my emotions don't just...I'm obsessive! Neurotic and it drives me crazy and I know it's something about me because the ONLY time I quickly got over guilt was when some apples made my mind just...SHUT UP for once and be easily distracted!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: ENDGAME AND REVIVALS overclocking 2011-09-06 12:53 pm UTC (link)
	I'm not asking you to explain yourself or apologize, Razzy. I just don't want you tearing yourself up over my personal issues. It's not necessary. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)