InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "change my tune, please!"

The Messenger (messagingly) wrote in sabra_la_tau,
@ 2011-04-03 18:12:00

Entry tags:

!days 220-229, !games, akin iyapo shing kaalnikanjlo, allen walker, amy pond, apollo justice, edward elric, excel, flonne, gokudera hayato, howard link, impmon, jace beleren, kiryuu zero, lady, nakayama yayoi, rabi, selendis, shinonome kon, syaoran, takizawa yuta, uchiha itachi, wanijima akito, yoi-te, {chaz villette}, {doumeki shizuka}, {gaara}, {kohaku}, {kuchiha}, {ryner lute}, {{{taiki}}}, {{{zelgadis greywords}}}, ~flowers, ~messenger

Game 140
Who: Anyone
Where: The Arena
When: Day 229, noonish
What: [On the throne today is a smiling youth, face ringed by black curls. He has a harp-like instrument in his lap and a pen behind his ear. It's been a while since any have seen him, but, perhaps, to the oldest and most keen observers here, he seems perhaps a touch thinner than last time. The Arena is not terribly decorated for his appearance, indeed, if not for the statue sitting there, one would not be sure this was really a call at all.]

Good afternoon, duckies, good afternoon! Who's ready for some wholesome (and platonic!) self-exploration and completely non-fatal fun, hmm? I know I certainly am. Yes, I'm sure you've all been having just unbearable amounts of fun, but you know, let's just- . . .

[clears his throat]

Ahem. Sorry, I was saying, let's just slow it down. Maybe, oh, I don't know, talk about our feelings a while.

((Technically, yes, this is a loser game, but anyone can play.))

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	Re: [CEPHEUS] time_andagain 2011-04-04 05:44 am UTC (link)
	... [???] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [CEPHEUS] fill_the_blanks 2011-04-04 05:45 am UTC (link)
	And your skull's pretty thick. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [CEPHEUS] time_andagain 2011-04-04 05:52 am UTC (link)
	...What? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [CEPHEUS] fill_the_blanks 2011-04-04 05:57 am UTC (link)
	Basically you're pretty stupid about people caring for you and automatically try to reroute it to not-caring-about-you or something else, making people's lives tougher because no one knows how to explain to you that it's the opposite of helpful when you don't understand their feelings for you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [CEPHEUS] time_andagain 2011-04-04 06:01 am UTC (link)
	.............I. I what? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [CEPHEUS] fill_the_blanks 2011-04-04 06:13 am UTC (link)
	Understand the good in yourself so you can understand what other people see in you. That's how you'll make people like Red and Yayoi happy. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [CEPHEUS] time_andagain 2011-04-04 06:21 am UTC (link)
	...How do you find that in yourself? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [CEPHEUS] fill_the_blanks 2011-04-04 07:58 am UTC (link)
	Um... I guess the same way you'd find it in other people, but applied to yourself. You treat yourself like an exception, which doesn't make sense in this context. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [CEPHEUS] time_andagain 2011-04-04 01:43 pm UTC (link)
	... I can try. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [CEPHEUS] fill_the_blanks 2011-04-04 01:52 pm UTC (link)
	"The way I feel about them is similar to how they feel about me" is a good place to start. But you can't just know it logically. You have to get it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [CEPHEUS] time_andagain 2011-04-04 01:57 pm UTC (link)
	...My feelings don't necessarily equal someone else's. You can care for someone who does not feel the same way, and the reverse is true as well. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [CEPHEUS] fill_the_blanks 2011-04-04 02:03 pm UTC (link)
	That's true, but also completely besides the point. You're supposed to be trying to train yourself to understand why people like you and appreciate you and worry about you, remember? You need to change your base assumptions. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [CEPHEUS] time_andagain 2011-04-04 02:10 pm UTC (link)
	[n-nods] I... alright... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: [CEPHEUS]

fill_the_blanks
2011-04-04 03:31 pm UTC (link)

So basically thinking "they don't-or-shouldn't-or-may-not-necessarily feel the same way about me as I do about them" is going to get you nowhere, in a situation where your goal is to understand why you're loved.

Well, it's guaranteed not to be exactly the same, but your base assumption should be that your feelings are pretty similar. The next step after that shouldn't just be to appreciate them for their feelings. Accepting that they feel that way and really understanding why and responding to it are two separate things.

Just being resigned to being loved isn't the proper way to deal with it. On Cepheus, everyone's always trying to trick each other into taking care of themselves or cheering up. That's only cause no one feels like the direct approach works...

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [CEPHEUS] time_andagain 2011-04-04 03:38 pm UTC (link)
	[.........o-omg] ...If I speak directly to Red he just makes faces. I don't think he likes it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [CEPHEUS] fill_the_blanks 2011-04-04 03:44 pm UTC (link)
	He makes faces 'cause you're not talking to him from a position of authority. Until you start taking care of yourself in a way that shows you understand his feelings for you, he's always gonna wonder why you aren't thinking of yourself. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [CEPHEUS] time_andagain 2011-04-04 03:53 pm UTC (link)
	[...] Do you mean... Others will not accept my decisions or choices until they believe that I have considered myself in making them? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: [CEPHEUS]

fill_the_blanks
2011-04-04 04:05 pm UTC (link)

Uhm... maybe. Not exactly. Though you should probably do that. And don't just trick them into thinking you considered yourself, actually do it.

What I mean is... try not to tell people to do something you can't do yourself. When you get on his case about taking care of himself because he takes care of everyone else, consider seriously if you're taking care of yourself the way you want him to take care of himself.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [CEPHEUS] time_andagain 2011-04-04 04:24 pm UTC (link)
	[ :\|a :\|a :\|a ] ...Okay... (Reply to this) (Parent)

	Re: [CEPHEUS] time_andagain 2011-04-04 04:24 pm UTC (link)
	But there will still be vacations. Those are important. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [CEPHEUS] fill_the_blanks 2011-04-04 05:27 pm UTC (link)
	How often are you willing to vacation? Can you tell when you need one? Can you tell when others think you need one? Do you get why they'd ask you to take one? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [CEPHEUS] time_andagain 2011-04-04 05:36 pm UTC (link)
	...I asked Red to take one because he is always working hard. He spends all of his time trying to make sure that we are looked after, and no time allowing others to look after him. I don't think that he can answer those questions any better than I can. By that reasoning, none of us can look after each other, and I am sorry, but I can't accept that result. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [CEPHEUS] fill_the_blanks 2011-04-04 05:50 pm UTC (link)
	You're forgetting all of you idiots could look after yourselves a bit so everyone else can relax and look after themselves a bit. Anyway, I also get full privilege to tell people to go take care of themselves cause I have the best track record so far. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [CEPHEUS] time_andagain 2011-04-04 05:53 pm UTC (link)
	...You can remind him if you would like. The next is nine days from now for a period of two days. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: [CEPHEUS] fill_the_blanks 2011-04-04 05:56 pm UTC (link)
	Let's see you take a vacation first. You can take care of each other after you understand why you have to take care of yourself. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: [CEPHEUS] -

time_andagain, 2011-04-04 05:58 pm UTC

Re: [CEPHEUS] -

fill_the_blanks, 2011-04-04 06:00 pm UTC

Re: [CEPHEUS] -

time_andagain, 2011-04-04 06:03 pm UTC

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fill_the_blanks, 2011-04-04 06:09 pm UTC

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time_andagain, 2011-04-04 08:26 pm UTC

Re: [CEPHEUS] -

fill_the_blanks, 2011-04-05 02:43 am UTC

Re: [CEPHEUS] -

time_andagain, 2011-04-05 03:48 am UTC

Re: [CEPHEUS] -

fill_the_blanks, 2011-04-05 04:03 am UTC

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