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Liam Roberts is an ([info]author) wrote in [info]rooms,
@ 2015-03-20 12:53:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:!dc comics, *journal, *log, liam roberts, sam alexander

[public]
[After this.]

am i a monster?


(Post a new comment)


[info]tinieblas
2015-03-20 07:52 pm UTC (link)
Did something new happen, baby?

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]author
2015-03-20 07:56 pm UTC (link)
[Simply.] Yes. Yes.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]tinieblas
2015-03-20 08:05 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, ok, listen. I talked to Seven, ok? Shit's going to get better.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]author
2015-03-20 08:08 pm UTC (link)
No, no, I don't think so. I don't think it's going to get better. I think it's just going to get worse. It got worse. That- that wasn't right, okay?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]tinieblas
2015-03-20 08:12 pm UTC (link)
[Pen.] What wasn't right, baby?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]author
2015-03-20 08:13 pm UTC (link)
What happened. What I- What I did. It wasn't natural. Not right. They looked at me as though I was a monster, Sam. They were afraid of me. No one has ever been afraid of me before but they were! I could see it in their eyes!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]tinieblas
2015-03-20 08:15 pm UTC (link)
Ok, yeah, this isn't your fault. It's some shit that's making you do things. It isn't you. Where the fuck are you?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]author
2015-03-20 08:17 pm UTC (link)
But it is me. It is me that did this. My hands! There is blood on my hands and I did this and I don't know how to make it stop, Sam!

Gotham. Home- I couldn't go home like this. I couldn't.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]tinieblas
2015-03-20 08:33 pm UTC (link)
[...]

[...]

[...]

Ok. Gotham is good. Yeah? It's good. Where in Gotham?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]author
2015-03-20 08:34 pm UTC (link)
[A lot of cursor blinking.]

[And then an address to an old motel.] Not inside. Alley nearby. Door opened near here.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]tinieblas
2015-03-20 08:50 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, ok. Don't move, yeah? Just stay where you fucking are.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]author
2015-03-20 08:52 pm UTC (link)
Not leaving. Promise.

[...] Are you coming?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]tinieblas
2015-03-20 08:55 pm UTC (link)
Yeah. I'll come. Ok? Just stay there.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]author
2015-03-20 08:57 pm UTC (link)
Okay. I will. I will.

[...] Thanks. Sam, thanks.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]tinieblas
2015-03-20 09:16 pm UTC (link)
Yeah. I might bring I'll see you soon, baby. Just huddle or whatever until I get there.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]author
2015-03-20 09:19 pm UTC (link)
Okay. [A cursor blink, then nothing more.]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Gotham: Sam & Liam
[info]tinieblas
2015-03-21 04:13 am UTC (link)
[Sam shouldn't have gone to Gotham, yeah? She knew that shit. She knew she wasn't up to saving anyone, and she knew the shit Liam was saying was jacked, and she knew she was still an emotional wreck beneath her recently glued exterior. She knew she should take someone with her or whatever, but Seven didn't seem really interested in helping, and she wasn't dragging Cris into any more shit, not if she could help it. And Neil, who she would have asked because of the Zatanna connect, was off the fucking table for everything, yeah? Because of Meredith. So, she didn't have much of a fucking choice, because just letting Liam huddle in an alley forever wasn't her. She wished it was her, but it just wasn't her.

Russ, yeah? If shit got really bad, she could call Russ, since it was Gotham. At least it was a fucking backup plan. But she was hoping she could just get Liam to Zatanna's doorstep, yeah?

So, she ditched the line she was in for the homeless shelter in Ocean's Eleven, where she'd been waiting on a spot to open for fucking days, and she made her way to Gotham in too-loose overalls and a wrinkled white man's undershirt with short sleeves.

Gotham was cold, but it wasn't too bad, and she shoved her hands deep in her pockets and tried not to fucking think about Micah, yeah? She still associated the man with the fucking city, and it was part of the reason she hadn't just given the fuck up and moved back to the place. The mob would give her a place to stay, and she could get a job at Arkham, yeah? They still knew her name because of Neil. But she hated the fucking place right now, man.

She lit a clove with trembling fingers, and she found the alley Liam had mentioned and approached it slowly. It was dark, and who the fuck knew what she'd find inside. But she forced her feet forward.]

Liam?

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Re: Gotham: Sam & Liam
[info]author
2015-03-21 02:39 pm UTC (link)
[Fate or something else had led Liam to one of the few alleys in Gotham that wasn't teeming with danger. Maybe it was the aura of danger that still clung to him, to the ragged wings sprouting from his back, or something else, but the world was relatively calm in the darkness. A trash bin, a pile of empty boxes, several bags stuffed full and tied shut, and back in a corner against the dead-end alley, Liam.

It had been ages since either of them had seen the other, and when he looked up at the sound of footsteps, those blue eyes were wide, but not quite wild. Sam. It had to be Sam, yeah? She said she was coming, and though he didn't quite know how long it had been, he trusted her to come.

So he didn't move from where he was sitting, not until he could see her outlined with light from the streetlight out past the alley. It might have been a long time since he last saw her, but he knew her. He couldn't forget her.

There was a shift of wings, a ruffling of feathers, and he didn't bother to hide those things as he stood. Perhaps he was a little lankier than he was before, a little leaner, hair a little longer, dark and unkempt, several days stubble upon his cheeks and jawline. He licked his lips, wetting parched skin.]

Hey.

[It was the same voice, tired and slow with exhaustion, but even that didn't push the soft Southern drawl from his words.]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Gotham: Sam & Liam
[info]tinieblas
2015-03-21 05:01 pm UTC (link)
[Yeah, Sam couldn't remember the last time she saw Liam. She wasn't even sure she knew about those wings. Ok, she wasn't freaked by them, so she must have known, but she hadn't ever seen them or whatever. She still remembered Liam as the writer at the bar, yeah? In Vegas, that first week this shit had started up. Her, him, Neil and Aiden, pitchers of beer, and she didn't even remember what the fuck Liam had said to make her toss her beer at him with no fucking anger at all. Life had been so fucking easy then, yeah? None of them knew jackshit about each other, and it was all so fucking casual. People meeting, having drinks, and none of them so fucked up they could barely make it through a day.

Shit, that felt like a different lifetime.

Carefree, yeah? Now she stood there, at the mouth of a fucking alley, and looked at him. It was dark, Gotham night and she stomped out her cigarette.

He looked like shit. Worse than he'd looked after all that fucking shit with Tristan, and worse than when he'd started fucking around with those pills. She'd been expecting it, yeah? Because she'd seen Lou go to hell or whatever, but it was different with Liam. A different kind of fucked, because Liam's shit had started way before any fucking cult came along.

Comparatively, she looked better. Wrinkled, too thin, but better. The asylum had been ass, but it had been ass with square meals and a warm bed, and she hadn't touched a needle for three fucking months. Three endless fucking months, yeah? Ok, so she smoked some weed, and she'd taken some pills, but no tar for that long, and she itched her arms as she stood there.]

Hey. [Careful, and she wasn't as trusting as she'd been before, yeah? She motioned him toward the mouth of the alley.] Come on, baby. Zatanna's is way the fuck up in the Heights.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Gotham: Sam & Liam
[info]author
2015-03-21 05:14 pm UTC (link)
[That bar in Vegas might have very well been a lifetime ago, and if he thought long on it, he was fairly certain that the man who had sat that, the author fresh from Mississippi, wouldn't have recognized the man standing here now, broken and cracked in so many fucking ways.

He wrapped his arms around himself, fingers tucked along the curve of his ribs on either side, and all he did for a few moments was just watch her, the wary way she held herself, the smell of cloves still hanging in the air. When he finally moved forward, it was just a step before he halted, a lift of his chin, wary himself just then.] What? Who? [Confusion glossed over his features for a moment as he started a retreat.] I didn't- No. No. I can't go anywhere. I'm sorry, Sam.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Gotham: Sam & Liam
[info]tinieblas
2015-03-21 05:24 pm UTC (link)
[Yeah, well, she didn't know where the fuck Aiden was, but the rest of them were jacked. All three of them were barely recognizable, and they could be like poster children for how fucked up life could get, yeah? Enjoy the good days or whatever, because, man, tanking hard could be right around the fucking corner.

She thought he'd come easy, and she had no idea why the fuck she'd been that stupid. How had they gotten Lou to Zatanna? She couldn't fucking remember. Neil, yeah? Must have been Neil, but she couldn't fucking bug Neil, and she was pretty sure he hadn't talked to the witch yet or whatever.

She scratched harder at the insides of her arms. Stress, stress wasn't good, and she wasn't ready for it. She was a fucking idiot.]

Ok, whatever, yeah. Let's just go get you somewhere safe to sleep, ok? [She motioned forward with her hand.] No big deal, baby. Just walk.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Gotham: Sam & Liam
[info]author
2015-03-21 05:31 pm UTC (link)
[He didn't want to be difficult, to make this harder than it needed to be, but trust? that wasn't something that came easily, even when hew knew her, had trusted her once before. But he could go along with somewhere safe, somewhere to sleep.

It was apparently enough because he stepped forward again, bare feet and blood-stained pajama pants that had gone rust red from the passage of time. The tips of his wings dragged against the ground with the lack of effort he made to hide them away, and wasn't it tempting to just get rid of them? To cut them off? Be finished with the thing that made him so different from everyone around them? Perhaps that's what he should have wished for. Remembering Seven was good, was very good, but it didn't solve any problem but that. The wings gone? That would have been better.

His gaze dragged to the way she scratched at her arms, narrowing slightly, but he didn't say anything about it. Instead he walked, out of the darkness and into the pool of light that spilled over from the street lamp.]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Gotham: Sam & Liam
[info]tinieblas
2015-03-21 05:38 pm UTC (link)
[She didn't say anything as he approached, but she knew that was blood on his pants, and she didn't know what the fuck to do with wings that dragged on the floor. Would people notice? Could he just fucking fly away if she pushed too hard? Yeah, ok, no, think, and she just motioned left along the dark sidewalk.

She really had no fucking plan but the Heights, so that was where she headed. She could lie and say they were going to crash at the empty Donovan Estate there, yeah? She was a sucky liar, but she could maybe pull it off or whatever. Zatanna was close, and he wouldn't know one house from the other.

Ok, yeah, good plan.

She hugged her middle to keep from scratching, and she took easy steps. Ok. Conversation. Conversation would probably make him less freaked, right? At least she figured no one would bother a bloody man with wings in Gotham; this place was all kinds of fucked.]

I hadn't been back here in forever, yeah? [Casual. Step. Step.] It's still the same as it was a year ago. Some shit never changes, huh, baby?

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Re: Gotham: Sam & Liam
[info]author
2015-03-21 05:56 pm UTC (link)
[It was easier when he wasn't asking questions, when she wasn't saying much about what they were doing, where they were going. Then he could pretend that things were fine, that it would be fine. Somehow. So he walked along beside her, his own arms wound around himself, sticking to the shadows of the sidewalk.

He glanced towards her as she talked, looking over her profile, the familiar cadence of her voice, and he gave a small nod in agreement.] I never planned to come back. Because, as you said, some things never change. [And the darkness here, the things that lurked in the shadows, those never changed, did they? It made the hair at the back of his neck stand up, that foreboding sense of something bad in this city, something that scratched and clawed at him and made him want to leave.

But he didn't. He stayed at her side, step by step.]

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Re: Gotham: Sam & Liam
[info]tinieblas
2015-03-21 06:03 pm UTC (link)
[She deliberately didn't look at the bloodstains, yeah? No looking at the fucking bloodstains. At least he was walking, and he was talking, and that was something or whatever. It was like best-case fucking scenario, and that worried her too, because shit never worked easy for her.

She turned at the end of the street, and she led them toward the Fashion District. It would be a straight fucking hit from there to the Heights, yeah? She wished she had a car, a truck, a fucking cabbie that wouldn't ask questions about wings.

She realized, as they went, that she'd probably need to find a fucking cabbie she could just threaten with the mob, because the space between houses in the Heights was like fucking miles or something. Ok, yeah, cabbie, but not until they were closer. Whatever, she didn't come here often enough for it to be a problem if she wielded Neil's name or something.]

I almost moved back a few weeks ago. There's work, yeah? And they don't ask questions here like they do in the sunny fucking places. I might still do it. IDK. I come here some lately. Friends, family, whatever.

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Re: Gotham: Sam & Liam
[info]author
2015-03-21 06:10 pm UTC (link)
[Every step took them a little further away from the shadows, and a little bit more of him came back as well. The wings folded tightly against his back, still quite visible but not as conspicuous as they had been in the beginning. If he had known where they were going and was in a better state, he might have offered to simply fly them there, but as it were, no offer was made and he didn't believe she'd be one to ask.

So they walked and they talked and his fingers drummed a rhythm against the side of his ribs.]

Where are you living, then? And I know about asking questions. [His gaze dropped to the ground, studying bare toes as they walked, dirty and blood-stained as they were.] It's why I try to stay inside. No questions when no one sees me.

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Re: Gotham: Sam & Liam
[info]tinieblas
2015-03-21 06:23 pm UTC (link)
[She was the biggest thrill seeker ever, yeah? When life was good and normal and settled, and, man, she wanted life to be good and normal and settled. But it wasn't, and she wasn't up to flying. This was was hard enough, yeah? Antsy as fuck and nervous she'd screw shit up and he'd bail on her. Yeah, no, after all this shit was done she'd find a hit, or somewhere to dance, or a fuck. But not flying, yeah? Not now.]

I'm in Ocean's Eleven right now. It's Neil's door, yeah? It's like home- like Vegas, but older, like a decade and a half. [She shrugged, and babbling seemed like a good idea, to keep him from freaking out, and to keep her from freaking out.] I like it. It's warm. Marvel, here, they're cold and gloomy. I mean, Marvel isn't always, but it was like 29 degrees there last night, yeah? No thanks. [Barely a pause.] Is Seven still there or whatever?

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Re: Gotham: Sam & Liam
[info]author
2015-03-21 06:32 pm UTC (link)
Home.

[The word was echoed quietly, steps a little slower, and he let out a long sigh as his hands went loose at his sides for just a moment before he tucked them away into his pockets, hiding them from view.] Older isn't bad. Maybe a little comforting. Reminder of a time when things weren't so... so bad. [Another sigh and he continued on, only glancing at her every so often.]

I don't mind the cold. Not anymore, at least. And Seven... [Liam trailed off, the word pulled out into a sigh.] Yeah, he's there. Somewhere.

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Re: Gotham: Sam & Liam
[info]tinieblas
2015-03-21 06:37 pm UTC (link)
Shit was different then, yeah? [She agreed, her smile wistful.] Like, way the fuck at the beginning, before anything fucked us all up. Remember? I wonder what Aiden's up to. Something good, I hope. Being an asshole to everyone in his fucking dive bookstore, maybe.

[She glanced over when he sighed.] So, things with you two aren't great or something?

[It would explain Seven's reluctance to get involved in shit, and really she wasn't surprised. None of their relationships had lasted, yeah? Everyone had moved onto other people, and she knew Seven had a baby coming. But she knew he still loved Liam, if Liam would just get himself into a better state or whatever. She got that too, yeah? Being with someone fucked up, it fucked a person up. She'd fucked Neil up, and now she was worried about fucking Cris up. That was just how shit went when you were a fucking wreck 24/7.]

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Re: Gotham: Sam & Liam
[info]author
2015-03-21 06:44 pm UTC (link)
Aiden. I almost forgot about him. [There was a laugh, a little hoarse.] Has to be something good if he's not here. He got lucky, getting out. Not coming back.

[His sigh was longer at the mention of things not being great, but truthfully, Liam wasn't sure how things were at all. There were days of happiness, yeah, but he hadn't hardly spoken to him since things went south again, since things got difficult once more. He licked his lips, dry and parched, his steps a little quicker.] I think- I think it'd be easier for him... if I went away. I just- I upset him, y'know. Frustrate him. It's all I've done for the longest time, and I thought- I thought remembering him? That it'd be easier, but it's not. Now I just remember all the bad things too and why did I bring that back to his doorstep. He doesn't deserve this. He deserves better than me, better than I can offer him.

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Re: Gotham: Sam & Liam
[info]tinieblas
2015-03-21 06:53 pm UTC (link)
[She didn't bother telling him that getting out wasn't all that fucking great, not when everything you knew was here. She didn't think he needed any other downers tonight, yeah? And the reality that people here were worth all this fucked up shit that would never stop? That wasn't exactly cheery or anything.

But she knew what he described next, that feeling that someone could care about you and still want you to gtfo because shit was too hard. She got that, and she couldn't argue with him, even though she was pretty sure she was supposed to say some uplifting shit about how he was wrong about other people being better off without fucked-up people in their lives. But she couldn't. Her brother was dead because of her, and she couldn't say Liam was wrong. She felt like that all the fucking time now.]

Yeah. I feel that way a lot too. [She motioned to a parked cab on the corner.] Let's take that up, yeah? My fucking feet hurt, and I can make him cool about the wings.

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Re: Gotham: Sam & Liam
[info]author
2015-03-21 06:59 pm UTC (link)
Different as we are, we still have a lot in common, don't we? [It was a quiet observation, hands fisting in his pocket, and he looked towards the cab that waited for its next passenger. Something told him that he shouldn't, that he should refuse, continue walking, let her go on her own if she needed, but another little voice told him that was a bad idea just then.]

How're you going to make him 'cool' about them? [His head was ducked, and he knew how much he stood out.] I don't- I don't want to cause trouble, Sam. For anyone.

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Re: Gotham: Sam & Liam
[info]tinieblas
2015-03-21 07:05 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, I guess. [Her response to them having a lot in common was less than enthusiastic, yeah? Shit. Shit. She didn't need to get blue on top of everything the fuck else. All the antsy jittery shit was enough without anything else on top of it, and Gotham was fucking hard, yeah? She knew where all the good dealers were, and she knew which families they belonged to, and she knew they'd give her product without fucking asking twice for cash she didn't have. She knew how shit worked too well here, because that had been her job for the short time the Donovan clan had been in business - drugs. And it wasn't any fucking coincidence that the last drug den she'd been dragged out of on Christmas had been here. Ok, no, not thinking about that shit.]

They just know me here. Come on. [She reached for his upper arm, and she tugged him to the waiting cab. She opened the back door without saying shit to the cabbie, and she motioned for Liam to get in, while she leaned in the cabbie's window and let him see her face.]

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Re: Gotham: Sam & Liam
[info]author
2015-03-21 07:14 pm UTC (link)
[It had been ages since Liam had used, memories that he couldn't quite fetch from the back of his brain, muddled and jostled as it was. But there were issues back then, he knew that, bad things that he had chased, things that made him feel good. Better. Wonderful. It wasn't a familiar itch but it was there nonetheless, tugging and pulling at the back of his thoughts.

He let himself be tugged over to the cab, the door opened and he got in without argument, wings surprisingly flexible and easy to sit on as he scooted over on the bench seat, the smell of old cigarettes and stale beer clinging to the upholstery.

The cab driver gave her a passing glance at first, more interested in the thing that had gotten in his back seat, but anything he might have been ready to say was quickly shushed when she leaned in to give him a look. Yeah, he knew that face, knew the names that it was attached to, so he didn't argue, didn't even bother punching the meter.]

Where ya going? [It was all that was said as he faced forward, his jaw set.]

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Re: Gotham: Sam & Liam
[info]tinieblas
2015-03-21 07:22 pm UTC (link)
[Sam had a bad feeling about absolutely fucking everything, yeah? But this was the quickest way to get Liam somewhere safe, somewhere where shit could actually get better for him, and she wasn't going to let being scared or whatever change that shit. Sure, she wanted to run. She wanted to run as far and as fast as her fucking feet could carry her.

She promised herself she could do just that once Liam was at Zatanna's, with Lou. Then she could go do whatever. It was like any anticipated bad thing, yeah? You counted the fucking seconds, minutes, whatever.

Her fingers shook as she took them off the window ledge, and she was grateful the driver didn't ask why she was wrinkled or whatever.] Shadowcrest.

[She knew the names, and she sounded like she was supposed to be going there. Ok, Easy. Easy. She slid into the backseat next to Liam, and she maybe exhaled too fucking hard when the driver kicked the car into drive.

She tapped her fingers nervously against the window as the city flew by.]

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Re: Gotham: Sam & Liam
[info]author
2015-03-21 07:32 pm UTC (link)
[Shadowcrest. He felt like it was a name he should know, but he couldn't put meaning behind it. But Sam, yeah, she knew where it was they were going. He glanced over towards her where she sat beside him, his heart pounding a little harder, his vision tunneling slightly in response. The logical part of him knew that she meant him no harm, but something deep inside of him, something old and dark, felt quite differently.

A shallow breath, his hands flexing on top of his thighs, the edges of his nails rust-red with blood, and he leaned his head back against the seat and tried not to think too much.

The city rushed by, a blur of lights beyond the window, and again, his fingers twitched.]

Sam?

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Re: Gotham: Sam & Liam
[info]tinieblas
2015-03-21 07:40 pm UTC (link)
[The smog of Gotham in the rearview, and the Heights was like being in a completely different fucking place, yeah? Ok, so it was all still dark and kind of gothic or whatever, but it wasn't hookers and blow and smog so thick you couldn't fucking see.

The movement of his hands on his thighs drew her attention, and she tried not to see the blood beneath his fucking nails. What the fuck was she even doing? Jesus fucking Christ. Breathe. Yeah, ok, breathing. His fingers twitched as the verdant lawns and huge fucking gates of the manor homes came into view, and words, yeah? She should find words. And at least if shit went bad here, he'd be wandering around Zatanna's neighborhood, yeah? And Batman. Batman lived next door or whatever. Someone could catch him if she lost him; it was better than the fucking alley.]

Yeah, baby?

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Re: Gotham: Sam & Liam
[info]author
2015-03-21 07:47 pm UTC (link)
[A different place was right, and it was different in a way that made his very bones ache with repulsion. Fingers twitched again, clenched into the fabric of the pajama bottoms he wore, opulence passing by them outside the windows. The skies were clear, crisp midnight blue with the stars nearly visible, and he looked out at them, thinking, planning.

His attention was drawn back to her, dragged back, and there was something different in his face then, something that wasn't quite him.] I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Sam.

[Blue when flat, and twitching fingers pulled at the latch to the door, cold air whipping into the cab as he all but launched himself out into the night. The cabbie came to a hard halt, tires squealing, but Liam was already gone. White wings against the dark sky that took him higher and higher until he wasn't visible any longer. There was no thought in the action, nothing but instinct driving him on, away from the place where magics ran deep, from the place that he could not, would not go.]

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Re: Gotham: Sam & Liam
[info]tinieblas
2015-03-21 07:56 pm UTC (link)
[The cab driver slammed the breaks on, and Sam just cursed. Fuck this, man. Fuck it. She slammed her heel into the back of the seat in front of her, and she'd just put her ass at fucking risk for nothing. Neil too, yeah? All for fucking nothing.

Whatever. She was done helping. So fucking done, yeah?

She asked the cabbie to pull the fuck over, and she didn't have any money, yeah? She was going to ask that Zatanna woman to pay the fare, and now she owed this asshole. Great, fucking great. She knew she'd have to work off the fucking fare, because influence only counted for so fucking much, and even the threat of a crime family reemerging wasn't worth shit without something behind it, and she wasn't willing to push it that far.

Fifteen minutes later, and she was walking back to the city. Whatever. Just- whatfuckingever. Liam could shove his fucking apology. She was done helping people. She'd lost her place in the shelter line for fucking NOTHING.

Fuck this night.]

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