. (mareas) wrote in rooms, @ 2015-02-21 23:15:00 |
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Entry tags: | *journal, clementine murphy, jake ross, marina savain |
Marina S, Jake R
[Early morning, written instead of typed, and messy some.]
[Locked to Marina S]
You get your wish, honey?
[Locked to Jake R]
A real good friend said I should just write words, and even if you didn't answer any, you'd read, and I'd get my say some. Figure I can't make things much worse if you ain't answering me any, so can't do no more harm.
Truth is, there was this hotel party in October. You ain't been to one yet, but you will. These things, you don't recognize anyone, no matter how you want to. Met this real nice man there, and I bedded down with him. I was real lonely, see, after that half year with the dead folks. Didn't have the slightest clue it was your daddy, and he didn't know who I was neither. The hotel does things, honey, and he thought I was your momma. Would've never happened otherwise, and that's true as anything can be.
You know I ain't made to be anyone's momma. I didn't want to keep the baby, but your daddy did, and that makes him better some than me some. Probably thought about how he got things wrong with you, cause I know that eats at him every damn day. Anyway. I had some second thoughts, but someone thought was best for the baby to go to him, and and I ain't seen her since. Your daddy and me, we don't talk much. Things been bad there since October, and that ain't really his fault neither. Sleeping with someone you don't mean to ain't easy, especially when he's still faithful to your momma.
Know that don't absolve me of a thing, but I wanted to tell you from right off. Not sure it would've helped a bit, but I suspect your daddy did that thing where he didn't use full sentences to explain things, and I thought you should know.
I know you're put out real hard, and you got every right to be fussed at both of us, but I'm going to be selfish as I always am and ask you to give that baby a chance. Not her fault her momma and daddy got the maturity of teenagers at times, and she's your sister, separate from whatever she is to your daddy. Having a sister's a real nice thing. I know about that some.
Hope you're somewhere real safe.
Clem