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Tweak says, "This is an ex-parrot!"

captain marvel; earth's mightiest hero (captmarvel) wrote in rooms,
@ 2014-10-08 21:14:00

Entry tags:

*journal, billy kaplan, bobby drake, carol danvers, jessica drew, kevin sydney, sharon carter, thor

[Intended for Jess D., accidentally Public]

Jess i need you come here please

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	Re: In Person: Carol D/Sharon C luckythirteen 2014-10-10 07:30 am UTC (link)
	[Sharon put her hand gently on the back of Carol's head, her hand brushing some of her hair back a bit while her other hand squeezed Carol's arm reassuringly.] No. You made a mistake, and we're going to get through it, and come out on the other side just like we always do. We just have to get through tonight first. And you can do anything for one night, Carol. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: In Person: Carol D/Sharon C captmarvel 2014-10-10 06:11 pm UTC (link)
	[She took several more deep breaths. Then:] This isn't the first time I've slipped. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: In Person: Carol D/Sharon C

luckythirteen
2014-10-10 07:21 pm UTC (link)

[Sharon put her hands on Carol's face gently and attempted to look her in the eyes.] Everyone slips, Carol. No matter what the goal is, everyone slips sometimes. You're acknowledging it, now we just wade through the shit. And we'll get there. All we can do is acknowledge our flaws, our fuck ups, and try to do better next time.

But I'm here to help you, you need someone to lean on when things get rough, you lean on me. I might not be super powered, but my shoulders are incredibly strong. We're still coming out on the other side of this.

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Re: In Person: Carol D/Sharon C

captmarvel
2014-10-12 12:41 am UTC (link)

[She lifted her head, but her eyes, even if she had been looking directly into Sharon's, were unfocused. She waited until the other woman had finished talking and waited a little after that, as though gathering her thoughts.] I started...after Crane. [It wasn't that she didn't appreciate the offer, but Carol needed to have that out there. And she tensed, as though saying it might change Sharon's mind about her.]

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	Re: In Person: Carol D/Sharon C luckythirteen 2014-10-12 12:50 am UTC (link)
	[Sharon, of course, didn't change her mind. She knew Carol's struggles, she knew it was hard, but she also had faith.] Carol, it doesn't matter when it started, it just matters how it ends, okay? This is hard, its hard as shit, I can't imagine how hard it is, but you don't have to be alone. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: In Person: Carol D/Sharon C

captmarvel
2014-10-12 12:56 am UTC (link)

[She let her gaze drop, but she moved a hand to grip Sharon's forearm. It was a start, at least.] Two times I left the Avengers. The first was after Marcus. The second was when they wanted to kick me out for drinking. [She grit her teeth, lips pulling back briefly.] I hate this bullshit. You know? But in the span of months, two of the things I didn't want the other universe Avengers to know about me came up. [She passed a hand over her face.] Nat figured it out. She asked me about it, and I lied by omission.

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	Re: In Person: Carol D/Sharon C luckythirteen 2014-10-12 01:20 am UTC (link)
	Carol, you don't have to hide things. I know we all have our secrets, but you don't have to hide who you are. You have nothing to be ashamed of. We all have demons. Every last one of us. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: In Person: Carol D/Sharon C captmarvel 2014-10-12 01:26 am UTC (link)
	[She leaned back against the cabinet, letting her head fall against it with a dull thud.] Don't you have things you don't want people finding out? Because it's easier, or because it's none of their fucking business? [She swiped a hand at her nose.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: In Person: Carol D/Sharon C

luckythirteen
2014-10-12 04:13 am UTC (link)

Of course I do. Of course I do. But secrets come out, especially here. And its not always healthy to keep it in. [She took a deep breath, she didn't know how much Carol knew about her own secrets] I still haven't told Bucky about what happened with Steve back in our world. And I know he deserves to know, he deserves some kind of explanation. But I can't tell him, I can't. I just...I can't. Even after living it over and over again during the toxin.

[She paused.]

But we have power over our secrets, they can eat us up inside, but we have to take the power back from them. And not be afraid of them anymore. Because its our lives at stake sometimes, Carol. It may be none of their fucking business, but wouldn't you rather be able to control when your secrets get found out? The drinking, the complete shit with Marcus. Carol, that's nothing to be ashamed of. Because as long as you're still ashamed of it, it still has power over you. Trust me.

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Re: In Person: Carol D/Sharon C

captmarvel
2014-10-12 01:37 pm UTC (link)

Of course I'd rather control when the secrets came out. That's the problem. [She paused and took a deep breath.] I just wish we had more time to get to know the other universe Avengers before that happened. [She pinched the bridge of her nose.] I'm...more ashamed about the Rogue thing, if I'm being honest. [She cleared her throat.] More's I don't want anyone to pity me.

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Re: In Person: Carol D/Sharon C

luckythirteen
2014-10-15 04:11 am UTC (link)

Well you can only exert so much control before things unravel, Carol. I know that's not an easy thing for women like you and I to swallow, but its true.

[She sighed and nodded.] I know. Look, Carol, I know all about that. I know what that feels like, but we can't change it. And we definitely can't afford to dwell on things that have happened, because they're done. But we owe it to ourselves to move on from it. In any way we can.

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Re: In Person: Carol D/Sharon C

venomblasting
2014-10-16 01:27 am UTC (link)

[Jess hurried there as quickly as she could. She tried to distract herself while Pete was stuck in a door, because if she thought about it too much, she'd want to go help them. And that was not a good idea. So she was trying to figure out her business instead, until she saw Carol's message. She made plenty of noise when she brushed past the door and inside, pausing when she saw the two of them. She already had suspicions about what was going on before, so the broken bottle didn't make her blink. Instead her heart broke for Carol.]

So is this how we manage to get a girl's night out? [A terrible, terrible joke, but Jess tried to smile weakly at them and moved forward. She brushed her hair back, sweating a little from the run there. She hadn't flown, although in retrospect it would've been smarter, but she didn't want people seeing her fly in.] Hi. [Without any hesitation she simply plopped on the floor nearby.] Catch me up?

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	Re: In Person: Carol D/Sharon C captmarvel 2014-10-19 11:11 am UTC (link)
	[She had drawn in a breath to answer, but Jess's appearance made her stop. Same breath was instead sighed out as she gestured toward the bottle.] I broke my sobreity after the Crane bullshit, Jess. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: In Person: Carol D/Sharon C venomblasting 2014-10-21 11:32 pm UTC (link)
	[Jess nodded slowly. She wasn't sure if looking surprised would make it better or worse, but the situation itself was pretty obvious.] That was a severely fucked up situation. It's okay, it's going to be okay now. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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