InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "please don't go"

w8d (w8d) wrote in realitycrashcom,
@ 2012-01-16 23:07:00

Across the entire network comes a reedy, but booming nevertheless, voice...!
All right, then...! This is 27-Charlie, just Checking In! Oh ho ho! I think I took a wrong turn on the main road out of Bloodspill, Charlie=1, because it's all of a sudden So Damned COLD out here! I mean, it really WAS a splendid day for a nice SWIM, Charlie, Inside or OUT, really! That is to say, Charlie, that I've somehow LOST MY WAY to SOME PLACE VERY COLD... and IF I'm going to keep on the tail of those BLASTED CRIMINALS, well... I'm going to NEED some warmer clothes, out here!

Charlie-1, I'm sanding in the middle of a very QUAINT little suburban square, and I NEED to KNOW if there's an OFFICER anywhere near my present position, who can lend me a proper Shirt, and... maybe a jacket?

Charlie-1, and ALL UNITS, this is your CHIEF speaking! Does ANYBODY READ ME? OVER!

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Voice message

fishycustard
2012-01-17 05:30 am UTC (link)

Charlie-1, this is The Doctor, reading you loud and clear! Hello! Oooh, another new arrival? Sorry about your luck. This is Red Oaks. Different Universe, usual sort of Earth... only different. Well, nice of you to join us! Don't panic! Love that book, me, great story, Douglas Adams was a right old laugh.

Right! So, where were you when you last checked? And where are you now?

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Re: Voice message

w8d
2012-01-17 05:40 am UTC (link)

...Douglas Adams, m'boy? What ARE you RAVING ABOUT now? What's a sci-fi wri4er have to do with-- well, ANY OF THIS!? I'm NOT PANICKING, because really, I've NOTHING TO BE SCARED OF, after all! I'm her GODDAMNED BATMAN-- I mean, CHIEF OF POLICE, here, and I...

Wait, WHAT? What sort of Nonsense are you Babbling out, my boy? I mean, WHERE'S YOUR EVIDENCE that THIS is a different EARTH than the one I was STANDING FIRMLY UPON -- well, RUNNING BAREFOOT, more like-- and DAMN, but that PAVEMENT was HOT AS HELL beneath my POOR FOOTSIES -- not FIVE MINUTES AGO...! BUT ANYHOW< BACK ON TOPIC: WHERE'S THE EVIDENCE, MAN? And... where IS Red Oaks? I mean, I've seen some SPLENDID oak trees in rural California, but... we're NOT IN rural California, now, are we, my boy?

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Re: Voice message

fishycustard
2012-01-17 05:50 am UTC (link)

I am a Time Lord, and the evidence is all around you. While things might look perfectly normal at a first glance, you'll find changes, and things that might seem strange. Look at the sky at night, the constellations are different and planets are appearing and disappearing without apparent rhyme of reason. Stay away from the graveyard, the sleeping residents sometimes like to come back to life, and whatever you do, do not engage the giant robot, whatever you do, just don't. Oh, and if you need a place to stay there's a lovely Manor you can get a room at. Much nicer than the so called Comfort Inn.

Now! You said you were cold. Do you see a blue box anywhere nearby? It's in the park. I'd say you can't miss it but... well you can. Chameleon Circuit's on the fritz and has been for... a long time, but I like it that way.

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Re: Voice message

w8d
2012-01-17 06:00 am UTC (link)

Sorry... but... WHERE ARE YOU, Boy, and HOW MUCH TEQUILA HAVE YOU HAD TONIGHT? I normally would leave this sort of thing to my OFFICERS, but... seeing as NONE OF THEM SEEM TO BE MINDING THEIR RADIOS, well, I suppose You'll have the privilege of being COLLARED for PUBLIC INTOXICATION by a POLICE CHIEF! Now... JUST TELL ME WHERE TO FIND YOU, boy, and I'll be RIGHT OVER...!

And as for the blue box-- what on EARTH do you TAKE ME FOR, m'boy? I'm NOT SOME COMMON THIEF, who would STEAL CLOTHES OUT OF A CHARITY BIN...! I'm the GODDAMNED POLICE CHIEF, and if I'm EVER THAT hopelessly DESPERATE, well... I CAN ALWAYS SELL MY ORGAN...!

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Re: Voice message

fishycustard
2012-01-17 06:14 am UTC (link)

I'm in the TARDIS, my TARDIS, didn't you hear me the first time? Oh that's right... I didn't actually say it was a TARDIS. Well it is and it looks like a big ol' blue police phonebox. What sort of police chief are you?

Don't expect any reply from your officers, they won't be able to hear you. This really is another version of Earth. Well sort of, different universe, world inhabited by people from lot's of different universes, a multitude of universe, ooh that's a good word. Multitude, should use that one more often, mul-ti-tude.

Oh and why do you have an organ? Isn't that a bit big to be carrying around?

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Re: Voice message

w8d
2012-01-25 07:13 pm UTC (link)

Boy, in MY day, let me tell you something, the ONLY "police boxes" WE had were meat to call up the CAMPUS police if you were in TROUBLE -- like, trouble being Chased By a Rapist, sort of trouble, you understand, m'boy, so DON'T YOU GO CALLING UP THE IVY U CAMPUS POLICE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR KITTY-CAT BEING UP A TREE, or anything of the sort -- do you UNDERSTAND ME, boy?

But -- WAIT! YOU OWN A POLICE BOX? Or... Yessss, I'd say it's MORE LIKELY that you STOLE SUCH AN OBJECT! What sort of FOOL are you, really, now, boy? Because don't you KNOW THAT Lugging around an OBJECT LABELLED BY THE POLICE DEPARTMENT is a SURE-FIRE WAY TO GET THEIR ATTENTION? You'd almost think you WANTED to GO TO GAOL! WELL, I"ll be HAPPY TO OBLIGE YOU IN THAT WISH, but LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, BOY: it's PICNIC IN HE PARK! Oh ho ho! Hee hee hee! Hoo hoo! The stories I could tell you, boy...!

But I THINK I SEE your little bit of LOOT NOW! I'll BE RIGHT THERE! Don't you GO ANYWHERE, Boy... or the BATMAN WILL FIND YOU....! Ooh HOO HOO! AWAY I GO!

*The big, booming voice over the airwaves is soon replaced by breathless wheezing, as the old man attempts to make a brisk run for the Police Box! And then, for some strange reason, his KNOCK echoes ove4r the COMMUNICATOR before the Doctor can hear it in the TARDIS himself...!*

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