InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "*Let's hear it for the Boy*"

Britin (_alicesprings) wrote in qaf_retread,
@ 2007-10-06 16:38:00

Entry tags:

hurt/comfort, myrna, post season 2

IF YOU NEEDED ME
by Myrna.

I'm in the mood to re-read this today, so I thought I'd retread it, though I'm sure it's not new to anyone. It's perhaps fandom's best known and best-loved fic and deserving of a place here in the IJ retread archives.

If you have a few spare hours and a box of tissues handy, join me as Justin and Brian go through the angst of dealing with a brain tumour, with lashings of humour and love shining through.

The mother of all hurt/comfort fics, enjoy

If You Needed Me.

Four parts, Four POV's, starting with Ethan, then Michael, Brian and Justin.

Alternative link to Part One here.

(Post a new comment)

	jameserin 2007-10-06 06:41 am UTC (link)
	i haven't read this. hangs head in shame (Reply to this) (Thread)

_alicesprings
2007-10-06 06:50 am UTC (link)

Really? Wow. Ok, well you're in for a treat.

It's loooooong as hell though, and if you start reading it now I can absolutely guarantee that you won't be able to stop, and will be up til 4am (I speak from experience).

I think some of the characterisation is a little off (Jennifer especially) but if you take into account it was written before season 3 aired, I think you'll enjoy it!

Have fun!

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	singlewoman 2007-10-06 11:11 am UTC (link)
	You MUST read this. When bunny recced this many months ago I had not read it and was flooded with comments from people who said I was missing something special. Well I add my voice to those who say READ IT NOW! Hope you love it. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	snowmore 2007-10-06 01:38 pm UTC (link)
	Read this as soon as you can, J. Also read her "Growing Up Kinney" if you haven't. While I love "If You Needed me", I love "Growing Up Kinney" just a bit more because it comes from Gus' POV. Teenage!Gus observing Brian and Justin's love and their life together can be interesting. (Reply to this) (Parent)

don't be ashamed

not_yet_defined
2007-10-06 04:33 pm UTC (link)

finally...a famous rec that i have read and someone else hasn't. hehe.

i love this fic when i'm in a certain kind of mood. It was my cure for the marathon of pain. suddenly the suffering in the marathon doesn't seem nearly so bad.

i skip chunks of it though, because i don't like them. Large chunks of the first perspective. And I find some of it to be OOC personally.

But seriously, nothing better if you just want to revel in the pain and the love. AS is right, it's the extreme of hurt/comfort.

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(Anonymous)
2007-10-06 01:24 pm UTC (link)

this is one of the best fics in the fandom. I have read it almost 20 times. Jennifer is written a bit off but she isn't in this very long. Also Myrna wasn't the biggest Brian fan but you could never tell it by how she wrote this. Honestly it might be the best Brian in caring mode characterizations I have ever read. While still being very in character for Brian.

HIGHD on LJ

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	_alicesprings 2007-10-07 11:38 am UTC (link)
	it might be the best Brian in caring mode characterizations I have ever read. While still being very in character for Brian. ITA. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	snowmore 2007-10-06 01:39 pm UTC (link)
	A great rec. Myrna is a master. Enjoy your weekend reading. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	_alicesprings 2007-10-07 01:29 am UTC (link)
	I ♥ Myrna :) (Reply to this) (Parent)

	(Anonymous) 2007-10-06 01:47 pm UTC (link)
	My most favorite fic of all time, ever. I have it printed out. It's a lot of pages. :)) ~ Tink (Reply to this) (Thread)

	_alicesprings 2007-10-07 01:29 am UTC (link)
	It's lots of people's faves, if the comments at LJ's retread are an indicator! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	brianslave68 2007-10-06 06:29 pm UTC (link)
	Great rec! I love this story! I've only read it once....I definitely need to re-read this one! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	_alicesprings 2007-10-07 01:28 am UTC (link)
	Enjoy! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	passing_through 2007-10-06 10:03 pm UTC (link)
	Wonderful rec. An incredibly emotional story that is worth every minute spent reading it. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	_alicesprings 2007-10-07 01:27 am UTC (link)
	Very emotional, but worth it, ITA! (Reply to this) (Parent)

princess_leyna
2007-10-07 06:25 am UTC (link)

I love this fic to death, but I have a question.

There is one phrase that is used in the fic that really seems to throw me off. There are two places where Brian refers to Justin as 'my kid'. I know he calls him Sonnyboy in cannon, but that seems more sarcastic/humorous than anything.

In my mind this does not seem to fit with the rest of the fic, where Brian is shown to grow to respect Justin and view him as more of an equal.

Did anyone else notice/bothered this or is it just me.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	halfspell 2007-10-07 11:22 am UTC (link)
	No, he calls him sonny boy in affection, too. Just not within Justin's earshot. The example that springs to mind is when Justin's walking down the street after being bashed, trying to get reaclimated to crowds and Brian's at the corner waiting for him. He says "Come on, Sonny boy." really softly. Like in encouragement. Though, the my kid thing threw me a little, too. (Reply to this) (Parent)

_alicesprings
2007-10-07 12:03 pm UTC (link)

Yeah I find the "my kid" references is one of the things that are kinda OOC in this fic. Brian never treated Justin like a kid in canon.

I guess he doesn't really in the fic either, maybe a little. He does seem to think Justin can't make his own decisions, or he second guesses Justin's decisions, particularly bout where to go to college.

But I do think she means it affectionately more than anything. I for one, like Brian's "sonnyboy" in 201 but I know others are squicked by seeing it in fic.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(Anonymous)
2007-10-25 09:15 pm UTC (link)

I think I'm one who is 'squicked' for numerous reasons:
I totally understand references like 'the kid' or 'that kid' if Brian were referring to Justin... but the 'MY kid' is completely different, a bit jolting. But in thinking about the timeframes... when Justin is near death in the hospital- that's a time when Brian's paternal instincts do kick in - in the sense that Justin was only 17 initially, then 19 when he nearly died in this fic. While technically coming into young adulthood, he's still a teenager and doesn't have the life experience Brian does. Brian was always aware that he was taking this 'kid' on a journey into his adulthood, ya know?
In the episode where Lindsey and Brian are putting the swingset together for Gus, Lindsey says something about Brian having a child, referring to Gus. Brian responds, "2" meaning Gus AND Justin. I don't remember the exact words.
But then there's this whole BDSM thing that I have been reluctant to approach. The usage of 'boy' 'good boy' 'bad boy' is something that, psychologically, screams dysfunction (Psychology is my area.)
But I haven't discussed the usage with BDSM people or done any research to find out what, if any, 'healthy' result there may be for either party involved. I've read some of the fic and have some ideas both negative and positive.
My point... I don't know why this author was using the particular terminology she chose. But, there could be a multitude of reasons having to do with feelings of parental responsibilty, simple age differences, cultural influence in word usage, or even allusion to BDSM. Regardless, from where I stand, my initial response is -- red flag-- and the hair stands on the back of my neck... or 'squick.' But, I will look into the subject more out of sheer psychological intrigue, especially since reading Plumsuede and TriciaQaf fic. I had some friends who 'dabbled' in the past, and some aquaintences who were fairly hardcore, but I never really approached the subject back then.
Sorry for rambling, but yeah, it got my attention too :) ...libra2 (at LJ)

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

ITA

princess_leyna
2007-10-26 02:42 am UTC (link)

What you describe was exactly my reaction.

In TriciaQAF and plumsude's fic, for some reason, the usage of 'boy' 'good boy' 'bad boy' does not bother me. I think in the BDSM context these make sense. These fics are about B/J in the BDSM situation and as such are in character.

In Myrna's fic I do not really see much BDSM, I just see a lot of ControlFreak!Brian, IC in my opinion. For me the 'MY kid' comment is going a little too far into the pedophile direction ('MY BOY' doesn't produce the same reaction).

You are right, in canon Brian twice mentions having 2 sons, in 101/102 and 201, but to me these comments seem a little bit of sarcasm on his part, or even self depreciation.

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	ohfreckle 2007-10-07 08:01 pm UTC (link)
	I've never heard of this fic, but it's on my Palm now. Can't wait to read it. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	_alicesprings 2007-10-08 12:12 am UTC (link)
	Oh wow! You'll love it my dear, let me know what you think?! (Reply to this) (Parent)

pendulumchanges
2007-10-08 01:37 am UTC (link)

Wow. I just finished reading. I started approximately 12 hours ago and only stopped to you know, eat and shower and answer my phone a couple times. What a story. I'm still amazed when I read something this long and this well written... I can't even imagine the time and effort that went into writing it. Wow (again). This is an overwhelming story. Definitely worth the time I spent on it today. Thanks for retreading it!

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	_alicesprings 2007-10-09 12:48 pm UTC (link)
	I know exactly what you mean :) You're welcome! (Reply to this) (Parent)

vl_redreign
2007-10-13 08:09 am UTC (link)

This is one of those stories that I can only read so often. Like once every six months or so. It's just...fuck. Myrna doesn't play, man, she digs that well deep before she pitches Justin in.

Perhaps we should call it Oubliette d' Myrna. lol

I think that when I read this the first time, which was when you guys first rec'd it, was what changed the way I felt about Ethan. I really did like his section, and the fact that he and Justin parted but stayed friends. Too bad it wasn't like that for real, but I began to look at him differently. Brian I wanted to hug and murder in turns, as well as Michael.

Brian at the railyards, screaming at God, I cried when I read that.

Then, the end..."tell me..." *flails* One of the best stories in fandom.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	_alicesprings 2007-10-13 09:13 am UTC (link)
	Brian at the railyards, screaming at God, I cried when I read that. Me too. Still do. Then, the end..."tell me..." flails* One of the best stories in fandom.* Yup yup yup reads (Reply to this) (Parent)

	(Anonymous) 2007-10-24 08:19 pm UTC (link)
	Just had to come in midstream... am at the railroad yard with Mikey and Brian... I'm absolutely wrecked!!! weep... sniffle sniffle......sob Better get back to it now, will comment more later :)This is soooo good. libra2 (LJ) (Reply to this)

	MYRNA ROCKS SO HARD IT HURTS... cryforwhat 2008-10-30 04:23 am UTC (link)
	I just finished reading it today, it's so long and so much hurt and comfort, but I loved it! I think the Brian in this fic is much more adorable than the Cannon Brian! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: MYRNA ROCKS SO HARD IT HURTS... _alicesprings 2008-10-30 07:07 pm UTC (link)
	Myrna is a genius. This is such an amazing fic! (Reply to this) (Parent)

(Anonymous)
2009-07-25 03:04 pm UTC (link)

I'm about half way through this. It is really well written, but I do find parts of hard going, as it is a little too realistic (having had loved ones go through similar experiences). I guess my other problem is that Justin is my favorite QAF character, so I'm not crazy about the fact that this might be death!fic (I don't know if it is, but it could be).

Ethan is far nicer here than in QAF, but that's understandable as it was written before season 3 when Ethan turned out to be a creep. I like the way Michael is shown as initially jealous of and vindictive towards Justin, but ultimately a great support for both Brian and Justin. This was IC I think. I think B and J are also mostly IC. Maybe B is a little nicer/more committed to J than within the show, but I like to think that this is where B was headed if QAF had continued.

All in all a high quality read, but be prepared to be depressed.

Chrissie.

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