Therapy session
T: Michael's got Ben. You've got Justin. Emmett has George, for Christ's sake. How come everybody has someone except me? B: The reason you don't have a boyfriend is because you don't want one. T: I don't? B: If you had one, it would challenge the well-established opinion you have of yourself as a worthless sack of shit that nobody wants. Therefore, you go after guys you know will reject you, then stand around here and bitch like a high school girl. When in fact you've gotten exactly what you want. Mainly: nothing. T: Well thank you Dr. Kinney. You've saved me years of therapy, not to mention several thousand dollars.
Ha! Drunk!Brian is pretty smart. Just hold on Ted, you won't be alone forever.