Intervention
Haha I love this intervention. Too bad it isn't so easy next season.
E: Don't get too close. He may ask you to squeeze something.
Hee!!
B: Fuck this. Get off your ass and go take a shower. You reek. And go find a job.
LOL well he doesn't bother to put it delicately, but he's totally right. Usually I say everyone needs an Emmett or a Daphne, but everyone really needs a Brian too.
Em and Michael take care of the nurturing and bathing of Ted, while Brian makes a phone call and sets Ted up with a job.
The tissue thing makes me literally LOL. As well as "he's a total dork" and "hey wonder whacker!"