MichaelOwnsMe (foreverbm) wrote in qaf_drabbles, @ 2008-01-21 15:48:00 |
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Entry tags: | author: foreverbm, challenge #48: angst |
Challenge #48 - Angst
Title: Love and Other Bruises (Parts 41 - 46)
Author: Foreverbm
Timeline: Season 3 - Post 308
Condoms: 6 to Michael
(41)
“It’s not his fault!”
“Stop defending him Mikey. He made the choice to use that stuff”
I sighed. I knew that no words would make Brian understand. He could only see what Ben’s actions were doing to me not the reasons behind them.
But whatever Brian’s thoughts were I was just pleased he was here for me at the moment.
This was just the first day of what I knew were going to be many for me to get through alone.
The knowledge that deep in my heart I knew Ben would come back to me would keep me going.
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(42)
“Brian…..you know how much Paul’s death affected him. It made him really think about his own mortality and he didn’t like what he saw.”
“Mikey…”
“No listen to me! I hated that he shut me out….but in some ways I understand. I’m not trying to make excuses for him…. He keeps his emotions to himself, it’s his way. Me, I make sure everyone knows how I’m feeling….whether they want to or not….but that’s not Ben.”
“He hurt you Mikey…and that’s what I can’t accept”
“I can. That’s what counts. I love him, nothing, no matter what, will ever change that”
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(43)
Brian looked at me and I held his gaze. He shrugged and wrapped his arms around me.
“Whatever Mikey….I just want you to be happy. The Professor and I don’t always see eye to eye but I believe he loves you. He made his decision and you made yours….and I doubt he is any more happier about the way things worked out than you are”
I reached up and gave Brian a kiss.
“Thanks” I felt the tears threaten again.
“No tears Mikey…you know how I feel about tears!”
I couldn’t help but grin at the scowl on his face.
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(44)
“Come on I’ll take you to lunch. There’s this new restaurant I want to try …apparently it’s not just the food that’s worth looking at!”
Brian’s answer to heartbreak!
I laughed.
I could live with that at the moment.
“I’ll just get cleaned up”
I went into the back, and threw cold water over my face, hoping to get rid of the puffiness around my eyes.
Looking in the mirror I couldn’t see much improvement but decided what the hell!
“I’m ready….let’s go”
I grabbed my keys and cell, just in case Ben rang, and followed him out the door.
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(45)
The afternoon thankfully passed much faster. I finally got rid of all my customers and locked the door at 5pm.
I stopped at the market for a few groceries then hurried home looking forward to the warmth of our apartment but not the loneliness and silence that would greet me.
After throwing together something halfway palatable, and thinking if I didn’t learn to cook a bit better I was going to starve to death, I settled onto the sofa, switched on the TV and lost myself in some mindless reality show until I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer.
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(46)
Days alone became weeks alone.
I got up every morning, went to the store, came home.
The days never changed.
I missed Ben so much. It was like a physical ache which never left me.
Brian turned up more often than he used to when Ben was here.
I was thankful for the distraction. He nagged me to come to Babylon but I wasn’t interested.
He roared with laughter when I told him I was thinking about going to cooking classes only shutting up when I actually made him dinner one night.
Then he thought it was a good idea.