MichaelOwnsMe (foreverbm) wrote in qaf_drabbles, @ 2008-01-19 12:17:00 |
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Entry tags: | author: foreverbm, challenge #48: angst |
Challenge #48 - Angst
Title: Love and Other Bruises (Parts 8 - 12)
Author: Foreverbm
Timeline: Season 3 - post 308
Condoms: 5 to Michael
“Michael…let’s talk about it”
“No! We’ve talked before. I talk. You listen. Then you just go and do it again. Enough is enough”
The light-headedness hit me again and I sat down. I wasn’t sure if it was due to the blood loss or the helplessness of the situation. I had tried everything to get Ben to talk to me, but he kept withdrawing further and further into the world of steroids. I wanted the Ben I had fallen in love with the moment I saw him back. I just didn’t know if I had the strength to fight anymore.
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He sat and took my hand, carefully unfolding the towel. The flow of blood had stemmed, drying to a dark red.
“We need to get you cleaned up”
I nodded wearily, the anger and hurt I had felt earlier fading. It was just too much effort to keep it up.
He left the room, coming back minutes later with a bowl of warm water and wash cloth and began his ministrations. Every now and then he looked up, his eyes meeting mine. They reflected pain but behind the darkness I could still see the love and I held onto that.
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His hands were gentle, and soon all that was visible was a sharp jagged cut.
He carefully covered it with the band-aid and smiled at me.
“See…all better”
I gave him a weak smile, but knew it would take more than a band-aid to fix what was wrong with us.
I didn’t want to start the argument again, knowing it would just go round in circles as it always did, leaving us both exhausted by words that cut us sharper than a knife ever could.
But things couldn’t continue the way they were. It was destroying us bit by bit
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“Michael….I’m sorry this happened. You had every right to be angry and I promise I will be more careful from now on”
I looked at him, a stunned look on my face
“Are you saying that not even this is enough to make you realize what you are doing, what the consequences could have been!”
“We’ve talked about this before…the advantages are outweighing the disadvantageous. I’ve told you it is something I need to do, I thought you understood that”
“You need to pump this shit into your body to make you what…..feel invincible?”
“I know what I am doing”