InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "now this is getting silly"

stillnotkatie (stillnotkatie) wrote in providence_rpg,
@ 2008-10-26 15:44:00

Who: Kate and Jason
Where: Jason’s place.
What: Tetris re-match!
When: early evening

Kate made sure to work extra hard on all of her homework on Saturday so that she didn’t have any on Sunday. She wanted to have the afternoon off so that she could be a little lazy before she headed to Jason’s place for their much anticipated Tetris rematch. Kate knew very well that visiting Jason at his apartment alone right after they had nearly kissed probably wasn’t such a good idea, but she couldn’t say no to a Tetris challenge, or the chance to spend more time with Jason. She had faith in herself, the two of them were just friends, and Kate’s night with Jamie on her couch was a reminder of how awesome her relationship was with him. Things would be fine, and it would give Kate and Jason a chance to just hang out and be friends. There would be no dark room reminding them of what they used to do together in there, just a friendly, or not so friendly, game of Tetris and maybe some Donkey Kong after. No harm in that, right? Then why did Kate only tell Jamie that she was hanging out at a friend’s place, not specifying that it was Jason, and that she actually felt a little guilty for not telling him the entire truth? Kate tried to justify that guilt by telling herself that she never asked Jamie for details on who he was with when he went out, so she didn’t have to tell him details either. It didn’t matter, Jamie never really cared about who Kate was hanging out with and didn’t need details, that just was how their relationship was like. Casual.

Once it was time to leave her dorm Kate brushed her hair quickly, she had let it just air dry and have its natural wave to it, and then left her dorm. She hopped in her car and started to head towards Jason’s apartment. He had text messaged her the address earlier and Kate had a pretty good idea of where it was. She had left a bit early to make sure she wasn’t late, but found out that she didn’t need to because it didn’t take her long to find the area that Jason lived it. Since she was so early Kate drove to a convenience store to grab some snacks for the two of them. She ended up finding Juicy Squirts and Gummi Worms there, so Kate couldn’t turn those down and bought a bag of each of them along with an Arizona Ice Tea for Jason and a can of Fruit Punch for herself, grinning at the memories that came with them. It had been a long time since that night when Kate and Jason stayed up to watch the sunrise together. It was before the two of them even started dating, but it was definitely one of her favourite memories of the two of them.

Once everything was paid for Kate headed back to her car and to Jason’s apartment. She parked her car in the guest parking and headed inside, buzzing for Jason and then when he buzzed her in she headed to his door. Once she was there Kate took in a deep breathing, knowing that she hadn’t seen Jason since that incident in the dark room and was determined to forget about it as quickly as possible. She then knocked on the door and ran a hand through her hair while she waited for him to open it.

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stillnotkatie
2008-11-05 01:38 am UTC (link)

Kate smiled at Jason, definitely planning to visit his apartment again to play some more Tetris and get her skills up to speed. She wanted to be able to be fully comfortable around Jason again, and that meant being in his apartment as well since it definitely would be a place that the two of them would hang out a lot. Kate would offer her dorm, which was useable but it was small and didn’t have a lot of room when her room mate was over. She wanted to be able to stop by whenever she wanted, but the idea of stopping by when Nicole was over didn’t seem like a great idea, or something that Kate would want to risk so she made a mental note to make sure to at least text Jason first before she decided to head over. “Oh, just wait until I get my crazy skills back and we have a rematch. I will kick your ass because they are just that crazy,” Kate teased, and she knew she was starting to sound really silly.

“Ouch. Your judging will hurt my poor self esteem,” Kate said, faking a pout. Kate wasn’t full of herself at all, but didn’t have a low self esteem either. In general Kate was a pretty confident person about things, and even when she couldn’t be as confident about something she had gotten pretty damn good at faking it. Ever since Kate and Jason’s first time watching Family Guy together Kate was never able to watch that show again without being flooded with memories of what happened between her and Jason that time on the island. It was a good memory, that was for sure, and Kate was pretty sure that she would always think about that whenever she watched the cartoon. She liked that she had managed to get Jason as into the show as she was, it definitely became a thing for the two of them.

Kate hoped that Jason wouldn’t have an issue with her leaning on him while sitting on the couch, or her resting her head on his shoulder. She didn’t want to push anything, the two of them both dating other people and struggling to remain close friends, but she just couldn’t help it. Kate didn’t dare look up at Jason, her face stayed glued to the TV but soon enough she found that she wasn’t paying attention to the TV at all, especially when Jason’s arm went around her shoulder. Oh my God. How could such a simple action like that make Kate feel so good? Kate wasn’t sure, but as soon as she felt Jason’s arm around her she instantly let her body find that spot right against Jason where she fit perfectly. After over a year it was still there, and Kate let out a very quiet content sigh, closing her eyes for a moment and just letting herself enjoy the feeling of being this close to Jason again. It has been so long since the two of them could just sit together like this. It may have been wrong considering they were not together anymore, but right now Kate didn’t care. She just wanted to sit with Jason again and feel comfortable, it was something that she had missed so unbelievably much when they were apart that she just couldn’t say no to it right now.

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jmurph
2008-11-05 03:01 pm UTC (link)

Jason hoped that Kate would come over and spend time at his apartment, even if she did just send a text before coming over. He wanted to be friends with her … as much as he hated that word, he would rather have a friendship with her than not have her in his life at all. His apartment was a cozy little place to hang out, he didn’t mind if Kate wanted to hang there instead of her dorm. He wouldn’t mind making the drive to the school to hang out in her dorm, either. Jason’s only problem with that was that Jamie knew where her dorm was, should he ever decide to just drop by, it would be awkward if Jason was there. The same could go for his apartment and Nicole, though. But he and Kate were just friends, right? So there shouldn’t be an issue. Snorting as Kate teased about her crazy skills, Jason nodded. “You just keep telling yourself that, Kate. And then maybe you’ll start to believe yourself,” he smirked.

Rolling his eyes, Jason smiled at her comment about her self-esteem, and he shook his head. “You definitely don’t need any help in that area, whatsoever,” he said, his head still shaking. Family Guy still constantly reminded Jason of Kate, no matter when he watched it or who he watched it with. She was the one that turned him onto the show, and there were a lot of memories for it for the two of them. It was during family guy that they actually admitted to having feelings for each other, and they started dating. Family Guy was their thing, it always would be.

Jason had absolutely no issue whatsoever with Kate leaning on him during the show. He hadn’t been close to her like that in a really long time, and so it felt good to be able to feel her against his side again. Jason’s attention was shot, he wasn’t paying any kind of attention to the television show anymore. He was more focused on how it felt to have Kate leaning against him, to be able to smell her shampoo and her scent so close to him again. It was only a natural act for him to slide his arm around her shoulder, he didn’t even think about it. Once it was there, Jason’s eyes involuntarily closed, and he took a deep breath. He wasn’t ready or prepared for the rush of emotions he’d feel when his arm was around her, it felt like this was where he belonged and he couldn’t take his arm away. Wondering if it bothered Kate, Jason’s unasked question was answered when she curved into his body, fitting herself into that spot against his side, the spot that only she fit perfectly. Kate’s sigh kind of brought Jason back to reality, and alarm bells went off in his head. He had a girlfriend, Kate had a boyfriend … this was wrong. Clearing his throat, Jason moved to pull his arm away. “Sorry, old habits die hard,” he mumbled, almost inaudibly as he did so.

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stillnotkatie
2008-11-06 12:40 am UTC (link)

As Kate sat with Jason and attempted to watch Family Guy, which wasn’t working out too well since her mind was everywhere but the TV show, she thought about her relationship with Jason and that maybe her spending so much time with him wasn’t a good idea. She knew herself, and how she was with Jason to know that the more time she spent with him, the harder it would be for her to just be friends with him. That was how she fell for him in the first place, right? Kate and Jason were inseparable when they were on the island together and that time together is what made Kate fall so hard for him. She knew that she still had feelings for Jason, there was no denying that when her heart would skip a beat every time she was near him, or how it was pounding a bit faster then normal now that her body was against his on the couch, but she was doing her best to repress those feelings. Kate would always have feelings for Jason, he was her first love and her first serious relationship, there would always be a place in her heart for him. The thing was, right now Kate had a boyfriend, and Jason had a girlfriend so the two of them spending time together and risk bringing out those feelings that were so hard to repress in the first place was a really bad idea and just asking for trouble, but the thing was that Kate just couldn’t bring herself to stop what they were doing or do anything about it. It was like Kate and Jason were two magnets stuck together, there was just this force keeping her closer to him no matter how loud the voice in her head was screaming at her to get away.

Jason’s mumbled words brought Kate back to reality as well, but it was a different reality then Jason’s. Yes, she had a boyfriend and he had a girlfriend, but she didn’t want him to move. At first Kate was going to let him do what he wanted and move his arm, but as soon as he started to Kate couldn’t help herself and she reached up and touching his arm, stopping it from moving. “Don’t move,” Kate said, pulling at his arm to move it back to where it originally was. Kate then took a deep breath in and looked at Jason before speaking again, and it nearly came out as a whisper, “Please.” When Jason’s arm was back to it’s spot Kate let herself snuggle into Jason more, not being able to stop herself. What the two of them were doing felt so good, and Kate just couldn’t move away just yet. She had missed this touch so much that now that she had it she wanted to keep it for as long as possible. The two of them were just sitting on a couch together. Ok, they were cuddling on a couch together, but Kate kept on telling herself it wasn’t that bad. And if she was being completely honest with herself she would admit that even if it was that bad, she probably wouldn’t of stopped anyways.

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jmurph
2008-11-08 04:01 pm UTC (link)

Jason was trying as hard as he could to think about anything but how close the two of them actually were. His arm was wrapped tightly around Kate's shoulders, and she was leaning right against his body, he could feel the warmth that was coming from her against his side. It was making it incredibly difficult for him to think about anything other than her, but he forced himself to pay attention to the television show. It wasn't working, his mind kept wandering to his arm around her, and his hand on that arm had started to move of its own volition, completely without him even thinking about it. His arm moved into her hair, and was twirling strands of it around his fingers as they sat there. It was a pasttime of his before, he used to play with her hair on a regular basis. Jason used to love her hair. As much as his head was screaming at him to move, to back up, to put some distance between the two of them ... he just couldn't. He couldn't make himself move to save his life.

As he came back to reality, Jason started to pull his arm away from her, apologizing for being an idiot. He was taken by surprise when Kate's hand grabbed his arm and asked him not to move. Glancing down at her, their eyes met and Kate pulled his arm back around her. Jason was unable to take his eyes off of her, just as he was unable to move his arm, now that he knew she wanted it there. Kate was the one to look away first, and Jason blinked, swallowing. Now he definitely knew he was still in love with her. He knew it more now than he ever would. His heart was beating like crazy, and he literally had to hold himself back to keep himself from kissing her. It made him feel like such an asshole, such a horrible person. Nic didn't deserve this ... she was too good of a person for a shithead like him as a boyfriend. Swallowing again, Jason pushed thoughts out of his head, determined to just enjoy holding Kate in his arms again. He'd deal with the guilt later. His hand moved into her hair again, this time moving farther up to massage her scalp gently, his free hand reaching around to grab ahold of hers.

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stillnotkatie
2008-11-09 03:23 pm UTC (link)

Kate could of melted right into Jason as soon as his hand started to play with her hair. Kate loved it when people played with her hair, but there was something about Jason doing it that just relaxed Kate more then ever. She then realized how much she missed that simple action of feeling Jason’s fingers running through her hair, just like she missed having his arm around her or being close to him on a couch. Kate just missed Jason, and she was realizing exactly how much now it was starting to scare her. She wasn’t suppose to of missed him so much by now. It had been a year, Kate thought she had moved on but apparently she hadn’t. If she had she wouldn’t of been in this situation at all, and she wouldn’t of been enjoying it as much as she was. Kate then immediately felt a bit guilty, but the feeling of Jason’s hand going through her hair brushed those feelings away in no time.

Relief washed over Kate when Jason looked at her and put his arm back around her. She could of stared at him for the rest of the evening, but the feelings that were being brought up the longer she looked at him forced her to look away. She didn’t know what she would do if she looked at him for too long, it would probably of been something that she would of regretted. When his hand went back into her hair and started to gently massage her scalp Kate couldn’t help but close her eyes for a moment, slowly exhaling and letting out a bit of a soft sigh. She felt so relaxed and so content, she didn’t even want to move from this spot on the couch with Jason. Then his hand reached over and grabbed a hold of Kate’s and her heart practically soared. Without looking at Jason Kate’s hand instantly opened a bit and she slowly let her fingers lace with his. Her thumb ran along the skin of his hand that it could reach and she couldn’t help but lean back and into Jason more. He was so comfortable, warm, soft and inviting. It had been over a year since Kate could be like this with Jason. She had missed him so much that it hurt, but knowing that she was being like this when both of them were seeing other people made Kate hurt a bit inside as well. She desperately wanted to say three words to Jason, but Kate held herself back. No. She couldn’t feel that way about Jason anymore and she was just going to have to live with that.

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jmurph
2008-11-09 04:39 pm UTC (link)

Jason felt how much Kate relaxed against him as his hand moved through her hair, massagging her scalp, and he knew she liked the movement. Playing with her hair had always been a pretty big pasttime of his, when they were together before. Jason loved her hair, it was soft and smooth, and it curled around his fingers in just the right way. And he loved the length, long hair was the kind of hair he liked. It wasn't as long as it had been when she left to come to Providence, but it was still pretty long. Past her shoulders. Jason's fingers grabbed a lock of her hair and he twirled it around his finger for a few moments, before he let his hand bury back into the locks, his fingers finding her scalp again. As he played with her hair, he kept getting wafts of the scent of her shampoo, and it brought back so many memories. She still used the same stuff, and it made him think about the times they would shower together, when he'd wash her hair for her. Sighing softly, Jason turned his head to rest on top of hers as it layed on his shoulder, pretty aware that he was entering dangerous territory.

Kate didn't pull her hand away from his, so Jason made no attempt to move his either. He let a soft smile cross his lips as her fingers linked through his, and he closed his hand over hers, letting the feel of her thumb running back and forth soothe him. Kate always had the power to make him calm down, to relax him, and it seemed she hadn't lost that at all. Jason was more relaxed right now, holding her in his arms, than he'd been in a really long time. It was almost scary, the affect she had on him, but he couldn't help it, and he didn't want to move away from her. He was sure that a bomb could go off in the apartment next to his, and Jason still wouldn't let go of her. He never wanted to let her go, which was a very bad thing. Kate was dating another guy, and Jason was dating Nicole. The memory of his girlfriend made Jason feel a pang of guilt, but he still didn't pull away from Kate. If anything, he tightened his arm around her shoulders, pulling her even closer to his body. Jason knew then that there was no way he could stay with Nicole ... not when he was still completely in love with Kate. It wasn't fair to Nicole, she deserved better than him. He just didn't know how he was going to go about breaking the news to her. Completely acting on habit, Jason turned his head and kissed Kate's forehead softly, then returned his head to lean on hers.

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stillnotkatie
2008-11-09 08:03 pm UTC (link)

Kate couldn’t help but grin when Jason rested his head against hers. She closed her eyes for a moment and just let herself breathe Jason in, but that immediately made her heart ache a bit and it was too late to stop herself. A flood of memories hit Kate as the two of them sat together on the couch, Jason wrapping his arms around her while Kate’s body fit in perfectly with his. She remembered the first time they watched Family Guy together, the first time they made out in the dark room, their first official date and the first time they slept together. She also remembered laying in bed with him all morning, or when he would let her fuck around with his camera on the beach when she was first trying out photography. What hit her the hardest was remembering what it felt like to be kissed by Jason, to feel his breath against her skin as their bodies were entwined together alone in one of their rooms. Kate couldn’t help but squeeze Jason’s hand when she remembered that, the ache in her heart increasing. It was probably a good idea to leave, to get away from Jason but Kate just couldn’t bring herself to do it. She never wanted Jason to let her go.

When Jason’s arm tightened around Kate her body immediately turned a bit towards him, letting her head nuzzle more into Jason’s chest and neck. “You are still as comfortable as ever,” Kate mumbled, finding it a bit harder to keep her eyes open right now. Jason was like a body pillow for Kate, and he was warm and the feel of his chest rising and lowering from his breathing was unbelievably comforting for Kate. She sighed when Jason’s lips pressed to her forehead and she couldn’t help but turn into him more. The lack of sleep that Kate was experiencing from school was really starting to catch up with her, and as soon as she was comfortable with Jason it seemed to hit her like a train wreck, and all she wanted to do was go to sleep with Jason’s arms around her. Kate snuggled into Jason even more and soon she found that her face was very close to the bare skin on his neck. It was so easy for Kate to fall into old habits with Jason, as soon as she felt his body against her and had his smell surround her she got comfortable, and started to things that they dud when they were together. “I missed you,” Kate mumbled before she leaned in a bit and placed not one, not two, but three kisses along Jason’s neck where she could reach. Her eyes were closed completely now and it didn’t take long for Kate to start drifting off to sleep.

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jmurph
2008-11-09 09:00 pm UTC (link)

Jason let out a soft sigh as Kate moved in closer to him, and he let himself inhale her scent. It was such a bad idea, because all that happened was that he was reminded of so many things where he would smell her scent, and it just hurt his heart. His heart literally felt like it was going to beat out of his chest. He was still so in love with the girl in his arms, yet he couldn't do a damn thing about it. This must be what hell feels like. Having quite literally the love of your life in your arms, but knowing that she didn't belong to you anymore, that she wasn't your girl anymore. She was someone else's girl, and someone else was able to kiss her, hold her, touch her. Someone else was able to make love to her the way you wanted to. It was killing him to think about, so Jason just swallowed and forced himself to stop. He would drive himself crazy thinking about things like that, thinking about what Kate and Jamie did when they were alone, so he just didn't do it.

Jason's eyes closed tightly as Kate mentioned that he was still comfortable, and he let out a soft laugh. "Yeah, well ... I guess that's not something that disappears with time," he said, then cleared his throat. He let her get even closer, snuggling right into his side the way she used to. She still fit perfectly against his body, it was almost too much for Jason to handle. And then, her face snuggled in even closer. Jason heard her tell him that she missed him, and he swallowed again as he closed his eyes. His eyes then flew open as soon as he felt her lips on his skin ... it felt like an electric shock had gone through his entire body. Jason's hand in her hair stilled for a moment as he tried to gain composure again. He wondered if Kate knew what she was doing to him, but he didn't want to ask her. "I missed you too," he finally replied, once he was able to form words. They still came out shakier than they normally would have, but Jason didn't care. He glanced down at her and couldn't help the smile that crossed his face as he noticed that Kate was drifting off to sleep.

Just like before, Jason let Kate fall asleep, and then he watched her sleep for awhile. His hand caressed her cheek gently as he watched her, tucking her hair behind her ear and then running his thumb over her lips. He wasn't even sure how long he watched her sleep. Jason rolled his lips into his mouth, glancing away from her for a moment. He was insanely tempted to stretch the both of them out on the couch and sleep there with her in his arms, but he knew that if he did that, his heart would break all over again when she left him whenever she woke. So, instead, Jason gently stood up off the couch, laying Kate on her side on the couch. He lifted her head and placed a pillow underneath it, and then covered her body with a blanket off the back of the couch. He grabbed his cigarettes and went out onto the balcony to smoke one, shaking his head as he did so. He had to figure his shit out, and soon.

After finishing the cigarette, Jason put it out and then went back inside. The sight of Kate sleeping peacefully on his couch tugged at his heart, and he moved over to her, kneeling in front of the couch for a moment. He tucked some hair behind her ear and then leaned in. "Goodnight, love," he said softly, before he kissed her very gently on the lips. He then stood and turned off the lights, making his way back to his bedroom, where he knew he wouldn't sleep a wink.

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