InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Don't eat yellow snow."

Adam just wants to go to prom (wearmetotheprom) wrote in portland_net,
@ 2014-05-24 13:50:00

Entry tags:

adam winchester, jessica moore, sam winchester, wanderer

[Filtered to TFW (except in his delirium he actually made it public)]

If anyone happens to see me passed out here on the couch, I'm not actually dead just in severe pain all over. Being a girl sucks.

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	wanda \| sam all_my_lives 2014-05-24 10:44 pm UTC (link)
	He told you about me, didn't he? I'm far too trusting of humans. I should know better by now. Hello Sam. I only wish to help your brother if that's alright. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wanda \| sam bornunder 2014-05-24 10:49 pm UTC (link)
	He was only trying to help you be less afraid. And I wanted to help, too. I'm sorry if I'm making it worse. It's completely fine. He could use it. What my brother and I do-- it's not what people might think. We protect people from danger, we don't hurt people just because they aren't human. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wanda \| sam all_my_lives 2014-05-24 10:53 pm UTC (link)
	I don't know if it's worse or better. I'm just very confused by this place, and I don't know who I can trust. I was told to be careful of hunters in this world. But as I said, I don't know who is lying to me or not. Your brother even lied to me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

wanda | sam

bornunder
2014-05-24 11:01 pm UTC (link)

I know how you feel. It's kind of an uncomfortable feeling to realize that someone is telling people to be afraid of me. I've never wanted to be frightening, even if I can understand where it's coming from.

You use a human body to survive and move around on Earth, right? We have a friend like that, another part of our family. We don't judge on what you are, just what you do. Someone that tries to make you feel safer, even if it's not exactly what you wanted to happen, is someone that cares about you. Adam never would have talked to me if he actually thought I'd hurt you.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

wanda | sam

all_my_lives
2014-05-24 11:20 pm UTC (link)

I do not fear death, Sam. It is the natural course of things. I only fear of what will become of my friends back home if I am erased from existence altogether.

Yes. I am about the size of your pinky finger, and I'm locked away in the back of the neck of my human host. I don't distinguish between myself and my vessel though. I am her. Adam told me that too. An angel, he said. I am foolish to trust so freely, but with him, I cannot help it. He looks like someone I care about very much. I wish I could believe that I am safe here, but I made that mistake once before as well. I will not fight though. No matter what happens to me, I do not fight. Ever.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wanda \| sam bornunder 2014-05-24 11:24 pm UTC (link)
	Wow. You're... impressive, honestly. Do you object to someone else fighting in order to defend you? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wanda \| sam all_my_lives 2014-05-24 11:35 pm UTC (link)
	I don't consider myself impressive. There isn't anything particularly extraordinary about me. I am expressly against all violence. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wanda \| sam bornunder 2014-05-24 11:40 pm UTC (link)
	Being that peaceful is impressive. It's incredibly rare. Most people, even those who dislike violence, are willing to make exceptions for certain circumstances. Okay. I can respect that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

wanda | sam

all_my_lives
2014-05-24 11:49 pm UTC (link)

On Earth in my time, my people have taken over the planet. We did not start a war. We did not hurt or kill anyone. We claimed the planet peacefully, and all of us were given host bodies in which to live in. This is what we do, how we survive. I have lived many lives this way on many planets in many different beings.

And what I learned was this. Humans are the only beings with such a strong sense of individualism, a consciousness that is all their own. I realized only too late that it is inherently and morally wrong to eliminate an entire race of intelligent, conscious beings simply for us to survive and because we enjoy being human. We can survive in other beings. They don't have to be human.

As a result, we have never needed violence. We have always been accepted. I believe, and pardon me if I am mistaken, that violence is created by humans as a result of all your complex emotions. It is not necessary, but I can understand why sometimes you may feel that it is acceptable. I feel human emotions too.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

wanda | sam

bornunder
2014-05-25 12:15 am UTC (link)

That depends on your definition of violence. Any animal, pretty much, is capable of inflicting harm. Anything with teeth can use them to bite, anything with claws or nails can use them to scratch. Many of the things that I deal with, as a hunter, are creatures that are basically the opposite of you-- they are expressly violent because it's so hardwired into their instincts that they can't resist the urge to rip, tear, destroy, feed, draw blood. Some of them were originally or are still partially human, or have perverted human instincts, like vampires or werewolves, vengeful spirits, and demons, but not all of them. Some of them simply are, and so far as we can tell, their main purpose is to inflict harm. I'll admit that our perspective might be skewed, because fear naturally makes people (and other animals) biased.

I've been on the receiving end of a lot of different kinds of violence, and I've been a host to more than one other being. Not ones like you-- they definitely intended harm towards me and intended to use me to harm others-- but it's true that from a human perspective, hosting another being inside our bodies is a violation. Even if it isn't violent.

Personally, I would rather resolve any situation without violence or anyone being violated. But before I got here, I lived in a world that was overrun with dark, supernatural creatures of a hundred different types trying to eliminate humans and take over the world for themselves. It makes me wary of other beings that are similarly capable of inflicting violence, and I'm willing to fight to protect people if they turn out to be violent. But I'm not going to hurt anyone, no matter what they are, if they're not hurting anyone, even if that means resisting bloodthirsty instincts. And if you ask me not to fight for you, I won't do that either. Doesn't mean I won't try to protect you, though. It goes against everything I believe in to stand by and watch an innocent get hurt.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

wanda | sam

all_my_lives
2014-05-25 12:47 am UTC (link)

I once lived as a Bear on the Mists Planet. Not a bear like the bears that live on Earth, but they were similar to humans in their emotions and need for social interaction and creativity. There was a creature on the Mists Planet called the Claw Beast. It was not sentient, but it was the natural predator of the Bears. This was the closest I came to violence before humans. If a being is non-sentient, then its reactions of self preservation are natural. As a sentient being, I have to believe there is a way for us to rise above such acts of violence.

When I came to Earth, I was inserted into the body of Melanie Stryder. She is a very strong person both physically and mentally. Unlike most humans, she did not disappear when I began to use her as a host body. She fought me. There were two of us in my head all the time. Her emotions were my emotions and vice versa. We believed at the time that all the humans had been taken as hosts, but some of her family and friends remained entirely human, hidden away in a mountain. I learned through Melanie and all our friends what it means to be human, and I helped them obtain as much of my people's technology as possible. We were able to cure all human diseases and make life easier for humans. Cohabitation is possible, though I would only agree to it if it were similar to the case of my current host body.

I believe you. However, I would not want you getting hurt on my account.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

wanda | sam

bornunder
2014-05-26 12:14 am UTC (link)

I'd like to believe that, too. Many people go their whole lives without needing to be violent. I haven't needed to resort to violence since I got here, but that doesn't mean there hasn't been any. Or that there'll never be a case when I won't need to, either. I'm not a fan of it, but I'm capable-- and I'd rather get hurt than let someone else, especially someone that's far more innocent and peaceful than I am, get hurt instead.

You cured every human disease? By living inside people, you mean?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

wanda | sam

all_my_lives
2014-05-26 04:53 pm UTC (link)

I couldn't ever use violence against anyone. The very idea frightens me and goes against my nature. I have been on the receiving end of so much violence, but I would never strike out at anyone no matter the case.

With our technology. Our medications are not treatments such as those that humans have created. They are cures. Through our studies of humans, we were able to implement our technology into developing actual cures for happier, longer lives.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wanda \| sam bornunder 2014-05-26 06:19 pm UTC (link)
	I'm not arguing with you. You should go with what makes sense with your nature. I guess that's a good thing to come out of human testing. A better ending than it could've been. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wanda \| sam all_my_lives 2014-05-26 06:31 pm UTC (link)
	And you with yours. I wish I had some of those cures here now. It seems like so many are suffering when they have no need for it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wanda \| sam bornunder 2014-05-26 07:13 pm UTC (link)
	Sometimes I'm not even entirely certain what my nature is, to be honest. Right now most people are suffering from being a different gender. Is that something your technology could help them with? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: wanda \| sam all_my_lives 2014-05-26 07:17 pm UTC (link)
	Insecurities? I have many of those in this body as well. I'm afraid not. This is the first time I've seen anything like this. I'm sorry. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wanda \| sam bornunder 2014-05-26 07:22 pm UTC (link)
	Yes, but... just being conflicted, too. Respecting peacefulness but choosing violence is a perfect example, really. I was just curious. They'll be changed back soon, I'm sure. And in the meantime, they're not really in any danger of dying just from being a different gender. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wanda \| sam all_my_lives 2014-05-26 07:27 pm UTC (link)
	It seems to me that you already know what your nature is. As a human, you can choose to feel both peaceful and violent at any given time and on a case by case basis, from what I have learned. They will? This is a most peculiar place. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wanda \| sam bornunder 2014-05-26 07:42 pm UTC (link)
	I guess you're right about that. It's weird, isn't it? But that seems to be how things work around here. They change for a week or two and then go back to the way they were. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wanda \| sam all_my_lives 2014-05-26 07:45 pm UTC (link)
	Do you believe this is some sort of prank as someone suggested on the network? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wanda \| sam bornunder 2014-05-26 07:47 pm UTC (link)
	This whole place could be one big prank, honestly. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wanda \| sam all_my_lives 2014-05-26 07:48 pm UTC (link)
	How alarming... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wanda \| sam bornunder 2014-05-26 07:56 pm UTC (link)
	I guess from my perspective, that might be one of the better case scenarios. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wanda \| sam all_my_lives 2014-05-26 08:17 pm UTC (link)
	I'm not sure if I want to know what's worse. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

wanda | sam -

bornunder, 2014-05-26 08:18 pm UTC

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