Portal of Eden

If you are anywhere near London and want to celebrate the birth of the brilliant Leonardo da Vinci with me, be at [small rented studio address] at 7pm. Wear something you do not mind getting paint all over. And a change of clothes. Unless you want to eat cake covered in paint, then I promise not to judge. Sometimes Leonardo still has a streak of color from temple to collar when I finally get him to sit down and eat something.

[FILTERED TO HIS LEONARDO]

I'm done renovating the en-suite in the bedroom I've claimed for myself, and the house has power, water, and even most of its walls, so I might start sleeping there off and on. Just to get things done quicker. If the place isn't cat safe by next week - it won't be, all the added security measures pushed back my schedule - can you keep Mona for my turn? Just this once? I'll make it up to her. And you.

[TEXTS TO GABE]

» Is it bad form to go on a vacation before our honeymoon?
» Or should we just elope?

» I need a vacation.
» And yeah, this is coming from my having to work away from home for three days.

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that when things are quiet the bad guys are doing their best planning. Paranoid? Probably, but I think I've earned paranoid by now. I've spent some time with my contacts but no one's leaking any information, which means more sitting and waiting and hoping for the best. I'd like to pretend that I'm raring to jump into things without a plan and throttle out some Templar secrets, but it's not that I mind the quiet. I just... keep an eye out for the quiet ending, I guess.

Anyone else antsy?

[ Filtered to Evie ]

Got any foreign missions? I think our traveling together would be even more rewarding now that we're on the same page about our partnership.

It actually took me a few hours to wake myself fully after last night, which is wholly unusual for me (I bounce back easily).

Either way, that's hardly the significant part. More important is the fact that I apparently won a bar in a poker game last night.

Hanzo and I got a place together and now that it's got furniture, we're throwing a shindig. Well, I'm throwing a shindig. This is the first Hanzo's hearing about it, so hopefully there'll still be a dig to shin, if you know what I mean.

Friday at 8, alright? Wear your good socks.

WHO:​​​ ​Leonardo​ ​da​ ​Vinci​ ​&​ ​Ezio​ ​Auditore
WHEN:​​​ March 26th, 2017
WHERE:​​​ ​Leonardo’s workshop
WHAT:​​ Leonardo has a jealous moment. They talk about Ezio’s bisexuality a bit and whether it’s okay to tell strangers they’re a couple
WARNINGS:​ Suggestive talk and some kissing, but it’s all pretty tame.

( It wasn’t as if Ezio had never had a half-naked woman come on to him before, but somehow it was still a surprise. )

...but why is everything suddenly green?

What is a more mature way of saying 'fuck snow'? I am going to tattoo it on my body.

On that note, there is apparently a place called Phuket that is poetically warm this time of year. There must be at least one mission in Thailand that needs doing. Anyone heard any whispers in that direction?

WHO: Hanzo Shimada (Junkenstein) & Jesse McCree (Junkenstein)
WHEN: Early March, 2017.
WHERE: IKEA in Brooklyn.
WHAT: Uh, weirdly domestic furniture shopping with a gunslinging hunter and a werewolf sniper.
WARNINGS: Some dirty talk but it’s pretty PG.

( See, Hanzo had made the mistake of saying he liked pillows, so now McCree was likely to suggest a ridiculous number of them as they got further along. )

WHO: Jesse Reyes and Zoe Baker
WHEN: Sometime after February 22nd, 2017
WHERE: Jesse’s apartment
WHAT: Zoe brings by one of her homemade burner weapons and they talk a bit about their screwed up stories. It eventually devolves into antagonistic flirting and arm-wrestling. Because they're weird dorks.
WARNINGS: Discussion of disease, bio weapons, a child used as a weapon, and lost limbs. It’s mostly flippant (at least on the surface) so not a lot of gory details.

( Still planning on cleaning up your neighborhood? I hear you’ll need a cape for that. )

WHO:​​ ​​Ezia ​​Auditore​​ ​​and​​ ​​Jacob​​ ​​Frye
WHEN:​​ ​​March 10, 2017
WHERE:​​ London
WHAT:​ Ezia deals with Feelings about having new family members and decides she’d rather just steal a car and race.
WARNINGS:​​ Very minor Assassin-y violence. We’re talking PG rating.

( I have learned that it is always a good idea to befriend the underbelly of whatever city I call home. )

If anybody wants to tear up floorboards or knock down walls, let me know. And if you happen to enjoy laying tile too, even better. In fact, if you know the first thing about laying tile, we should be friends.

[FILTERED TO HIS LEONARDO]

[Attached: a list of dates & times with the names of 4 couples therapists; all women]

I set up consultations with these doctors over the next couple days, to see if any of them fit. Does that work?

Word to the wise, leave my kid alone. She's got anger issues.

Logan. Anybody got a cigar?

WHO: Ezio Auditore (modern) & Leonardo Vinci-Auditore
WHEN: March 7, 2017
WHERE: A old abandoned mansion in LA
WHAT: Ezio uses renovating a house for the Brotherhood as an excuse to get Leo out to LA. There’s the start of some reconciliation! And a gross exploding water pipe.
WARNINGS: None that I can think of.

( I can’t sleep without you. )

Jack and I are getting married. No details yet. If I like you, you're invited. If you're not sure, don't ask, 'cause I don't.

Heeeeeeeey bitches, we're back online! Sorry about that, I had to take everything off because after our very successful mission, Templars started hitting back. Luckily, I'm way smarter than them and they couldn't get into our systems, but oh boy did they try.

ANyyyyyyyway, everything should be running and back in normal order, since I got Shaun to get me a new server and everything (#relationshipgoals). Carry on! PS I still owe frozen hot chocolate's to everyone who went to the masquerade, I swear I'm not avoiding you I'm just uhh doing.. stuff? (Desmond, how's your face?)

WHO: Ezio Auditore & Jacob Frye (future)
WHEN: February 25, 2017
WHERE: a tailor in NYC
WHAT: Jacob gets fitted for a new suit for the masquerade mission. They trade ‘I love yous’ for the first time.
WARNINGS: None that I can think of.

( For the record, you could be like “oh, Jacob, would you fancy going to the Arsehole Convention with me next week? So many horrible, nasty people who only think of themselves; it’ll be grand,’ and I’d follow you there. )

WHO: Jack Morrison & Gabriel Reyes (de-agers)
WHEN: We’ll say this morning, March 7th!
WHERE: Their place in LA
WHAT: Jack cooked breakfast and didn’t burn the place down, in celebration, he uh, sort of sticks his foot in his mouth?
WARNINGS: Tooth rotting fluff if you can believe it.

( 'It’s always been you, you asshole. From the moment you tried to pass off that cat vomit as elotes.' )

WHO: Marian Hawke & Isabela
WHEN: February 25th, 2017
WHERE: the Shepard-Hawke house
WHAT: While Shepard and Bethany wedding plan (somewhere close by, because they are not dummies), Isabela and Hawke babysit the twins.
WARNINGS: The natural grossness of babies? None really.

( Maybe we’ll just leave the procreating to Bethany, yes? )