psyfic (psyfic) wrote in pervy_werewolf, @ 2009-05-27 23:48:00 |
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My brother, I have some concerns regarding a mutual acquaintance. Your little friend Remus has been rather monopolising my dear friend Severus. Would you be a sport, old chap, and tell your little friend that he's being a bit of a nuisance? RAB
Regulus, Sod off. Sincerely, Sirius PS - no Gryffindor would be caught dead hanging about with Snivelly Snape
My dear and oh-so-misguided brother, Is that any way to talk? Then again, Mum did have the tongue of a fishwife, did she not? You must take after her. Regarding Severus, I do believe you've got the wrong end of the stick. My good friend has been spending an inordinate amount of time with his new little pet. Sadly, he has neglected his duties to Slytherin house to so do and that's simply not on. I don't care how good a fucktoy your little friend is, that does not excuse duty to one's house, does it? My best, RAB
Regulus, You're so full of shite it's starting to spout from your mouth. Remus isn't a bloody poofter. Even if he was, he wouldn't touch Snivelus Snape with a three metre wand and a dozen cleaning spells after. Truly, Sirius
My poor ignorant Sirius, Thick of head and heart. You are absolutely correct. Remus is not a bloody poofter. He is THEE biggest poofter Hogwarts has seen since Septimus Weasley was caught with that mangy bartender and his goat. You see, brother dear, I've had the privilege of enjoying his delightfully tight arse my own fine self. Purely because he offered and wouldn't take no for an answer, of course. Severus has always, I'm afraid, wanted what the better boys have, so he had to try it himself. He's, as the Mudbloods say, 'been hooked on it' since and it's growing not only wearisome, but rather embarrassing. A simple word to your housemate would simplify things. I'd hate to have to speak to our respective Heads of House. Gryffindor is currently 65 points behind us in the House Cup standing, is it not? Most sincerely, RAB
Reg, I bloody hate you. I'm glad I don't live in Grimmauld anymore. We'll deal with Remus, but if you're lying, brother not-so-near-or-dear, I'm going to hex your piss-hole shut and make you piss out your navel until the day you drop dead. Very truly, Sirius
J - can I borrow your cloak on Friday. SB
S - Something I should know? JP
J - Just want to prank Moony in Runes. SB
S - Want help? JP
J - Nah. This is a one-man job. SB
S - All right, Pads. What's mine is thine. But you owe me a butterbeer. JP
Reg, The matter you wrote to me about will be taken care of. I want to thank you for bringing it to my attention. What does Mum say about your being bent, then, eh? Very truly, Sirius
Dear Sirius, Your assistance is appreciated. The good of our respective Houses is more than thanks enough. Mum can't say much what with Dad's patronage of the Lusty Swallow, now can she, old chap? Thanks ever so, RAB