LMOM #7: Slices of a Werewolf's Love Life: All Apologies - Sirius/Remus, NC-17 Title: Slices of a Werewolf’s Love Life: All Apologies Author: elfflame Rating: NC-17 Pairing: Sirius/Remus Kink(s) : Rimming, wall!sex Challenge: Lusty Month of May 2009 Word count: 1169 A/N: More angst, folks. But some real smut, at least. Thank you to wolfish_cat for the hand-holding.
In the end, it all came down to guilt. Sirius’s and Remus’s, and to James locking them into a room alone together until Sirius apologized properly, and Remus accepted his apology.
Remus’s only problem was that his own guilt about what he was doing with Regulus had now overshadowed his anger at Sirius. It was hard to even meet his eyes any more.
“Moony…”
“What?”
“Look at me.”
Remus turned, but his eyes lit on Sirius’s ear, not able to meet his gaze. “There. I’m looking at you.”
“Are you going to hate me forever?”
No, Remus thought, but I might hate myself that long. “I don’t hate you, Sirius,” he said instead, his voice soft.
“Yeah? So you’ll forgive me, then, and stop treating me like some…Slytherin, then?”
This time, Remus did meet his gaze, his anger swelling along with his shame. “Sirius…”
Sirius sagged visibly. “It was a joke, Moony. I didn’t mean anything by it.”
“Yeah, well…sometimes I think you don’t think.” Remus could feel the still-healing tear in his heart where hope had blossomed the night he’d kissed Severus. “Just because you don’t like someone…”
Sirius put up his hands. “I know. We’ve been over this how many times in the last few months?”
“Well, obviously it hasn’t gotten through. Will it ever?”
After a long pause where Sirius seemed to be looking at Remus in a way he couldn’t remember him doing before, Sirius frowned and looked down. “I was an idiot. Angry. And I lashed out. I’m only grateful you didn’t end up hurt by it.”
“I did, Sirius,” Remus said softly.
Sirius scowled and turned away. “Yeah, well…”
“I never belonged to you, Sirius.” Even if there had been a time when he’d wished he had. He’d always known they’d kill each other if they tried to make it work. Or worse, Sirius would take what little he had left. He did love Sirius, but the thought of letting him have that much control over his life…
“You always wanted me, Moony.” And now Sirius was smirking. The same over-confident boy Remus had met on the Hogwarts Express on the first day of school. “Should I prove it?” He advanced on Remus.
“Sirius…” Remus backed up. This wasn’t what he’d come here to do.
Sirius’s eyes were bright. “Let me show you, Moony. We could be great together. We…fit.”
He didn’t give Remus a chance to respond. And as soon as Sirius kissed him, Remus knew he wouldn’t be able to stop this. Part of him ached with the guilt of what he’d done, and part with the anger over what Sirius had done to him, but the rest of him yearned for this lost bliss, and he found himself pressing into the kiss.
Encouraged by Remus’s response, Sirius didn’t stop there. He pressed Remus against the wall. “What if I promised you I wouldn’t even look at anyone else again?” he whispered, stroking his hand along Remus’s side.
Just a few short months ago, Remus would have been over the moon at the idea. But now? “Why?”
“Because I love you, Remus.” Sirius’s expression was as sober as Remus had ever seen it, and the words took his breath away. He felt tears spring to his eyes, and buried his face in Sirius’s neck.
“God…Sirius…”
“You don’t have to tell me you love me back. Just…don’t push me away.” Sirius raised his chin, kissing him again, his hand sliding under Remus’s jumper.
Remus moaned, kissing back, then tugged at Sirius’s shirt. “I won’t. Want… Show me?”
The words pulled a groan from Sirius, then he stepped back and began to strip. “Want to see you, Moony.”
Remus nodded, following his lead, his hands shaking a bit as he undressed, forcing Regulus out of his mind. He’d cross that bridge when he came to it. Whatever happened, though, he could never tell Sirius.
He stepped out of his clothes, then met Sirius’s eyes. “How do you want me?” he asked.
“Turn around. Want to show you something.”
“I’ve seen how you give blowjobs, Sirius,” Remus said with a grin, but turned to face the wall all the same.
“Not a blowjob.” He heard Sirius settle behind him, and could tell that he’d dropped to his knees.
“Sirius?”
“Shhh… Spread your feet. And brace yourself against the wall.”
Remus did, but it didn’t stop him from trying again to find out what he was up to. “Sirius, what…? Ah!” Before he could finish the question, he felt a nip to one arsecheek. “What the fuck…?”
“If you don’t shut up, I’m going to invite James in so that he can see just how well we’re getting on, Moony. Now shush.” And before Remus could argue, he felt his arsecheeks being pulled gently apart, and Sirius’s breath ghosted over his entrance. What the hell was Sirius going to do? Finger him until he came, or something?
The question was soon answered when he felt a slick, wet something brush across him. Was that…Sirius’s tongue? “Oh…” That was…so wrong… “S-Siri…” He felt a smack on his arse.
“Was that a request for Prongs to watch, Moony?”
Remus bit his lip, then shook his head.
“Good. Cause I’m not inclined to share.” Sirius licked him again, and Remus couldn’t help but push back for more. It felt incredible.
Sirius chuckled, and Remus felt him pull him further apart, then the tip of his tongue brushed against him, pressing gently into him, and Remus had to swallow hard to keep from whimpering. He couldn’t help the fact that his hips pressed back for more, all on their own. “Oh…ohgodyes,” he whispered under his breath.
With another chuckle, Sirius pressed his tongue deeper, then pulled back a bit, letting his tongue press along the rim of the muscle as he did, which made Remus groan. He pushed his tongue back in, even deeper, if it were possible, and Remus couldn’t stop the sounds the feelings were pulling from him any longer.
“Fuck…Sirius…yes…don’t stop…”
That pulled a groan from Sirius, and he licked at Remus faster, the sounds he was making making Remus squirm. “Aaah…Ohlord…”
Remus was so close, but then Sirius pulled away, standing and pressing against Remus’s back. “Need you, Remus…”
“Godyes…” Remus pressed back against him. “Please…”
Sirius didn’t waste time. He fingers inside Remus and stretched him, then whispered a charm to slick them both before pressing into him. “Fuck…Remus…yeah.”
It had been a long time since they’d been together. Too long, even. And between what Sirius had done to him and the feelings running through them, it was no time at all before Remus felt his climax washing over him, shuddering even as he pressed back into Sirius’s next thrust.
With another few thrusts, Sirius came inside him with a groan, then sagged against his back. “Oh, fuck…Remus…missed you. Love you. Please…?’
Remus nodded. “Yes.” He’d deal with Regulus tomorrow. An owl, maybe. Better not to see him. He couldn’t screw this up again.