westernredcedar (westernredcedar) wrote in pervy_werewolf, @ 2008-05-17 09:15:00 |
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Entry tags: | #lmom 2008, author: westernredcedar, kink: kissing, remus/gideon prewett |
LMoM: 1979 (Part 17~ April 24, 1979)
Title: 1979
Today’s Date: April 24, 1979
Rating: PG-13
Word count: ~1,100
Pairing: Remus/Gideon
Kink(s): kissing
Challenge: Lusty Month of May 2008
Summary: 1979: One of the worst years of Remus's life. Also, one of the best.
Today’s Episode: Remus was an idiot to think things could not get any worse. (Warning: CHARACTER DEATH-- today is sad and not very smutty)
Notes: The possibly insane blpaintchart has agreed to speed beta and Brit pick for
as long as she can stand it while I try this…so generous is my Chart!! Not only that, she is veritable font of ideas! Also, thank you to McKay for running this crazy thing.
Need to catch up? Here are the previous parts: Jan 1, Jan 15: Day, Jan 15: Night, Feb 2, Feb 9, Feb 20, Mar 10, Mar 24, Mar 25, Mar 25: Later, Mar 26, Mar 31, Apr 1, Apr 11, Apr 12, Apr 14
The little alley by the Jobcentre would always remind Remus of Severus, he realized, walking down the quiet street with his dole cheque and a few contacts for interviews. The window he had pressed Severus against with that reclaiming kiss was now unceremoniously plastered with posters for a new Muggle film. No evidence remained that the earth had shifted for him, right on that spot. Remus sighed and walked on.
He had not had a word from Severus or Sirius or James or even Peter. Gideon had been avoiding their flat, staying with Dorcas most nights, and when he did come home, the mood between them was brittle and tense. Remus was left alone to wallow in the quiet, miserable realization that he was broke, friendless and unemployable.
Walking home in the drizzle wasn’t helping that feeling. He could Apparate, he supposed, but why hurry? What the hell did he need to be home for?
By the time he was unwarding the door to the flat, he was soaked through and shivering.
The sitting room was dark, even though it was midday. The gloom hanging over the city was thick and grey and cut out the sunlight. Remus used his wand to flip on a lamp.
He almost leapt into the air when he realized that Gideon was already there, sitting on the sofa, silent, staring into nothing.
“Bloody hell, Gid. You scared the shit out of me. What are you doing sitting in the dark?” Remus asked, shaking off his damp cloak.
Gideon turned his usually bright eyes upwards, and Remus was shocked at the empty haze he saw in them.
“She’s dead,” Gideon said.
“What?”
Remus sat down next to him on the sofa.
“He killed her. She’s dead.” The cool monotone in Gideon’s voice was chilling.
“Who is dead? What are you talking about?” Thinking about it later, Remus already knew, but refused to let himself even think her name.
“They dumped her body at the gates of Hogwarts. She was just…lying there…for hours…”
“Gideon…you don’t mean…Dorcas…?” Oh no. Oh fuck.
“Dumbledore told me he thought she didn’t suffer, but that is a load of crap, innit? How could she not have suffered? They were merciful and did it all painless and friendly-like? That’s not bloody likely.”
“Gid…”
“All of her fingers were broken.”
“Try not to…”
“I was going to go with her, but she told me she could take care of it.”
“Gideon, stop…” Remus allowed his arm to wrap around Gideon’s broad shoulders, which had started to shake.
“Fuck, Remus, she’s dead!” Gideon yelled, his voice breaking at last. He leaned into Remus’s arms, and Remus pulled him awkwardly closer, feeling each heaving sob wrench from deep in his body. He stroked Gideon’s back and neck and hair, desperate to find some way to comfort him, knowing there was no way. Gideon leaned all his weight into Remus, clinging onto him, rubbing his tears and snot into Remus’s damp jumper. Remus pulled him closer. He couldn’t think of a single thing to say.
“I don’t think I can handle this, Remus,” Gideon sputtered into his shoulder. “Things have been so fucked up lately, with you, with the war, my crap job, my family…I don’t…she was the only thing working out…fuck…”
“It’ll be all right,” said Remus, and his stomach turned at the emptiness of his words.
“I’m so sorry about what I did to you, Remus,” Gideon sobbed.
“Oh please. Stop thinking about that, Gid. That’s nothing.” He was amazed to realize that it really felt like nothing when faced with Death, hovering over their flat, grinning maliciously at them both.
“You are such a good friend to me, Remus. Gods!” Gideon sat up and wiped his nose on his sleeve.
Remus adjusted on the sofa so that he was facing Gideon, keeping one hand over his shoulder and gently touching his hair. “Have you called Fabian? Or Molly? Or your parents? They’ll want to help.”
“I couldn’t,” Gideon said. “I won’t be able to deal with them being upset and sorry for me, Remus.”
Remus nodded. “We’ll wait a bit then.”
He leaned back on the sofa and pulled Gideon back with him, so that Gideon’s head rested on his chest. Remus knew that this physical contact between them should feel strange and awkward, but the curly red head nestled into the crook of his arm and a slower sobbing started, and it was so obviously right for the moment. Remus let Gideon wrap his arms around his chest and squeeze tight.
As he continued to slowly stroke Gideon’s back and hair, Remus’s mind whirled with memories of Dorcas. He could hear her boisterous, life-affirming shouts echoing through the flat, her snorting laugh, see her earthy, voluptuous body, her grim determination at Order meetings. How much she loved Spangles and the quizzes on the telly. He tried not to imagine her lying dead under the flying boars of Hogwarts, but that image was already bound up with all of the others now. He shuddered and pulled Gideon closer.
“Oh Gods, Remus,” Gideon said. Then he leaned up, looked Remus in the eye for a long moment, and then pressed his lips against Remus’s in a soft kiss.
Remus was surprised, and didn’t know how to react, but when Gideon let the kiss go on, he finally responded, kissing him back, opening his lips, hoping he was somehow providing a comfort, or a memory.
Gideon’s mouth tasted of salty tears. Remus did not want to push anything, but he could not stop himself from running his tongue over Gideon’s lips to clean off the bitter sadness he could taste there. Gideon responded, deepening the kiss enough to taste his own tears on Remus’s tongue. The kiss lasted for just a moment more before Gideon broke it off with a few little nips to Remus’s lip. He rested their foreheads together for a moment and sighed deeply.
“Sorry, mate. Sod.”
“Don’t apologize,” Remus replied, and placed a soft kiss on Gideon’s cheek. “We’re both upset.”
“I just want her here now,” Gideon murmured. “I want her here.”
“I know,” said Remus. He brushed Gideon’s hair behind his ear. “I know.”
Gideon shook his head as if to clear it and then sat up. “Why don’t I floo-call Fabian now?” Gideon said, loosening his grip on Remus’s chest. He almost managed a smile.
“I think you should,” Remus said.
Gideon went off to light their small fire, leaving Remus alone on the sofa.
For the first time in weeks, Remus felt that his problems were small and insignificant, and most importantly, surmountable. In the midst of this misery, he was hit with an odd hopefulness.
He stood up to put the kettle on.