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Tweak says, "carlson young is superb"

ᴄʟᴀʀᴋᴇ ɢʀɪғғɪɴ (romancekiller) wrote in paradisolog,
@ 2017-01-25 17:57:00

Entry tags:

clarke griffin (romancekiller), darcy lewis (snarkyintern)

WHO: Clarke Griffin & Open
WHAT: Walking along the beach
WHEN: Saturday Afternoon
WARNINGS: Language, mentions of violence and death
STATUS: Open; Incomplete

For Clarke, the sight of the beach was a temptation, an opportunity impossible to pass up and today was no exception. After nibbling on a few morsels, the blond headed out, taking the well worn path to the beach, and tugged off her boots and socks. Eagerly, Clarke dug her toes into the warm, golden sand and relished in the feel of the tiny grains and particles rough on her feet. Being born in space, she never experienced the warmth of the sun on her face, the sound of the waves crashing ashore, or smell the air laced with sea salt. These were only a fraction of the things she'd never seen or felt before coming to Earth. On the ground, she'd experienced many of them, but the paradise of this place? It was not to be found in a place thick with woods and forest. Clarke knew such beauty was unique to island life, heat and paradise was not something to be found on the east coast of the former United States. Here, it came in droves and waves that crashed against the sandy beach daily and filtered through the sea salt air. It was beautiful if not the essence of paradise and Clarke, despite everything she'd left behind, could not help, but enjoy it to the fullest. A new experience was difficult to refuse and Clarke's curiosity never failed.

A few steps and she inched toward the water, tiptoeing through the cool, cleansing waves and at the feel of them, Clarke smiled. It was a brief exclusion and it was not long before a frown formed upon her lips again. Would Lexa have enjoyed the waves? Would she have seen it as a symbol of beauty like Clarke did? Or would she have found it mildly amusing because she experienced it before? The blond couldn't be sure at this moment, but either way, she would find the moment memorable, if not cute and adorable. Unfortunately, for Clarke, no, for both of them, Lexa would never experience this moment. She would never dance with her among the waves or smell the salty sea air. The thought left her devastated and she closed her eyes and gave a weak attempt to swallow down the tears. The lump was large, well preserved, and for Clarke, she doubted it would disappear any time soon. She loved Lexa; love did not disappear overnight and after everything they had been through, such feelings were much harder to overlook. Anything built from hardship and sacrifice mixed with a little hate was not something anyone could forget. Despite what happened between them and the betrayal, Clarke could not help, but think about her. Lexa was rare; she understood what was on the line and the need to stop it. She understood was need, no the desire for peace between their people. She knew together everything could be better, but it didn't work that way. If peace ever did come and after losing Lexa, the blond did not believe it so easily won. Lexa was willing, but the next Commander? She could not be sure.

Clarke settled into the sand and dug her feet into the warm sand. The feeling did not stop and the pain did not fade. Warmth, heat, provided no comfort unless it came from the woman herself and Lexa was no where to be found on this island. Yes, Clarke foolishly had checked, venturing into the foliage a few times, but there was no sign of the Commander and Clarke's heart broke again. If she had this chance, why could not Lexa have the same chance too? It was unfair and the blond could not fathom anything that horrible, but yet, here it was. Clarke had freedom and a second chance, but Lexa, a mistaken kill had neither choice. The blond's fingers dug deep into the rough particles, eager from the feel of something that was real. Right now, all there was remained in the particles of sand and Clarke clung to whatever reality they offered her. Here, it was all she had.

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snarkyintern
2017-01-26 08:40 pm UTC (link)

Darcy enjoyed walking on the beach. Everything about this place was pretty much perfect and she was determined to soak up every bit of it just in case something happened and the gods decided they didn't want her around anymore. She couldn't imagine that happening. Even though she wasn't giving a baby to Arva, she certainly provided energy by having a lot of sex. And she was trying to contribute to the society in other ways by sewing and helping prepare food.

When she spotted a pretty blonde up ahead, she decided to wander over and say hello. They had gotten some new arrivals lately and she hadn't met all of them yet. Part of her was hoping some of the new ladies were also into ladies. As much fun as Phil and the other guys on the island were, she did miss hooking up with girls and it seemed like most of the ones around here weren't into that.

"Hey," she said, lifting her hand in a wave as she approached. "Mind having a little company?"

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romancekiller
2017-01-27 02:01 pm UTC (link)

Sand particles slipped through her fingers and considering where she was at this moment mentally, company would be welcomed, if not desperately desired. Though she felt bad about running from her memories, the past, part of her didn't want to remember it either. She didn't want to dwell on it and all the pain the images could bring forth from within. As it was, just a short trip down memory lane and she was already reliving most of the dark abyss and all the horrendous feelings that came along with that agonizing venture. Already, she felt far from the beach, far removed from the island paradise and the sun's warmth. She was back home, watching Lexa die, and with it, any hopes of a possible peace. For Clarke, it was any hope of the love she'd wanted though fought so hard to push away, to deny, to keep up a facade of emotional distance. Somehow she doubted Lexa ever believed the mask she'd wore when she saw her again. Anger was a good thing when it came to hiding everything else, but she knew the former Commander was far to perceptive to buy all of it. Yes, there was the hate, the anger at the other woman for betrayal that led to Clarke making a devastating decision that took many innocent lives in order to save her own people from death, but there was also caring. There was also respect and perhaps, if Clarke dared, a little understanding, too. They were the same that way: they would do anything for their people.

A friendly voice filled her ears, reaching her over the sea salted breeze and pulled her from her melancholy musings. Clarke looked up, a wave of gratuity washing over her, and offered the approaching woman a small smile. If no one had come, just how far down into oblivion would she have allowed herself to venture? Would she have ever been capable of returning from the dark, icy waters? Sometimes, those memories felt so real, so strong, that Clarke found it hard to believe she wasn't still there. She wasn't still living them in someway. It confused her; she clung to this reality, but part of her was at a loss to trust it. How long would this last before she was sent back? Before she was forced to face everything she run from? Her first experience with running should have told her the consequences of any future ideas, but losing Lexa shattered her, like losing Finn did. Like losing her dad. She couldn't face it, them, not yet. Maybe someday she could go back and find the courage to face everything she'd done and everything she'd lost.

"Of course not. Please, sit," Clarke scooted over a bit, giving the brunette a bit more room on the warm sand next to her. She was beautiful with large eyes that held a bit of mystery about them as well as possible mischief? Clarke sensed she was kind, but then again, everyone here was kind to her and so open. She felt bad. She wasn't quite there yet with her own feelings, her own past, but she was trying to be. There people were allowing her to glimpse their true selves and that took courage. They were willing to share this paradise with her and Clarke wasn't going to turn them down at the selfless offer. "I'm Clarke," she offered a hand to the woman.

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snarkyintern
2017-01-27 09:11 pm UTC (link)

"Hi, Clarke. I'm Darcy," she said, shaking the other girl's hand with an easy smile. "You're looking far too thoughtful for such a beautiful day on Sex Island. Is everything okay?"

Darcy was well aware that many of the people here came from worlds that were much worse than her own and she understood that it might be difficult for them to adjust to the peace and love that ran rampant here. Sure, they had to work a little harder for food and shelter, but there was no war and no fighting.

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romancekiller
2017-01-28 12:11 pm UTC (link)

Darcy was right. Clarke was looking much too thoughtful for being in such a beautiful, peaceful place. A lot of it was because she knew some part of her had never really vacated her own world even when she'd arrived in this one. It wasn't in her nature to let go of everything in favor of herself. When she'd runaway, it was probably the first selfish action she'd ever taken and after everything in the fall out, it was the last time she would...until now. It'd taken more death and loss for her to realize that running away had not solved anything. She still remembered everything that happened that day at Mount Weather. It still haunted her everyday; it didn't matter whether she was sleeping or wide awake either. She couldn't escape what she'd done. Deep down, she knew this place could only offer similar solace. Though far from war and violence, far from Lexa's death, it was only a physical distance; all else remained in tact and as ferocious as ever, willing to conquer at a sign of weakness. For Clarke, this was any moment she was alone. If Darcy did not come along, she would still be drowning.

Clarke managed to keep her smile from wavering. "I know, right? Considering where I've come from, I should be excited. Thrilled. And I am. I am," she replied, last word hesitant as it parted past her lips. "I have a chance that no one else from my world has. I want to take advantage of it. To build something instead of constantly bringing destruction to it..." Clarke trailed off and the well-kept grin finally gave way to a much more perplexed, sad expression. Out of all her people, she was the one that least deserve this opportunity. She was Wanheda, Commander of Death, and she'd more than earned that title following the devastation she left at Mount Weather. Some looked upon her like a hero, a savior, but Clarke could only look upon herself as a murderer. Someone who'd been on the path to be a healer now a taker, a thief of life. She knew the ground changed all of them and that it was just a consequence, a byproduct of her presence there. Bellamy was right; they'd become what they needed to be to survive because it was that or die. It was that or watch her people die and Clarke could and would never be able to do that. She took it upon herself to bear the burden of all that blood, all that pain and death. Partially selfish she guessed, but partially selfless too. Still, she could think of more than a few one person back at camp that would have wished her into a place far from the beautiful one she'd landed in.

"Just memories, you know? I did a lot of bad things, Darcy. A lot of them. It haunts me sometimes I guess," she looked over, strands of blond hair shifting over her shoulders and she raised a hand to slip a few stray pieces back behind her ears. "I came here for a chance to build something instead of destroying it. I just...feel like I don't deserve this chance to be here. There are so many other people back in my world who deserve it so much more than me. That deserve to be happy, you know? I know someone who would definitely say this is the last place I should ever be." Jasper. In destroying Mount Weather, Clarke killed the girl Jasper was in love with: Maya. The worst of it was that the young woman had done everything to help them, betraying her own people to try and stop the torture and injustice happening there. It wasn't only her. There were others and innocent children too. People who had no idea what was going on in the mountain...who just lived and worked there every day. Clarke took all of their lives when she let in radiation stained air from outside in order to save her own people. It was both of them that day, Bellamy and Clarke, that had been judge, jury, and executioner for all those people in the mountain. A nasty trade, but the worst past was, if left in that same situation, abandoned by Lexa and the Grounders, she would have done the same thing. She couldn't regret saving her mother and everyone else that day. They didn't deserve to die either.

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snarkyintern
2017-01-28 01:46 pm UTC (link)

That was heavy and Darcy listened as Clarke spoke, her heart aching for the pain the other girl was clearly suffering. This place really was an amazing second chance, but she understood that it could be hard to let go of the past and truly embrace the opportunities you were presented. Especially if you felt like you didn't deserve it. She didn't know what exactly Clarke had done, but the fact that she seemed to be carrying so much guilt over her past actions led Darcy to believe that she was a truly good person.

Wanting to offer comfort, she reached over and rested her hand on Clarke's shoulder. "Obviously someone thinks that you deserve to be here or you wouldn't have been invited," she said. "That means something and you should focus on the good you can do here."

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romancekiller
2017-01-28 03:56 pm UTC (link)

As the last syllables left her lips, Clarke instantly regretted saying as much as she did about herself. This place, these people, they didn't deserve to be brought down because of her. Darcy came here to find peace, love, and build a community. She guessed all of these people felt much the same way as Darcy. They were here with a purpose, a chance at a better existence and Clarke didn't want them to know what she'd done ever. Besides the obvious, saying anything specific about her previous life would go against everything this place stood for. Her actions destroyed a thriving society. Where this place was meant to foster, bring in new life, and watch it grow, Clarke had done just the opposite. She'd stolen how many young lives? How many lives in general? It wasn't just the countless souls of Mount Weather either. Before that, she'd killed Grounders, she'd killed other members of the 100 or was an indirect cause of it. Wells, Charlotte were two perfect examples of the last sentiment. With so much haunting her, sleeping was a luxury left to be experienced by someone else. Even with eyes open, conscious restored, nothing could ever take away those faces from those times. Not ever.

The feel of Darcy's hand on her shoulder, warm and soft, brought a smile to Clarke's lips again. It was such an enduring, sweet gesture and the blond appreciated it more than she could ever know. Would such kindness remain if she knew exactly what Clarke did? Part of her didn't think it would, but then again, she'd said she'd done bad things, horrible things, and Darcy remained seated beside her on the beach, stalled in her presence, and that told Clarke a lot of things. They could simply be on different levels of understanding what a sentiment too, but Clarke knew she wasn't the only one here who'd dealt with horrible things or been the one to deal those blows. There was a good chance that woman next to her knew more about her certain kind of bad choices than Clarke gave her. While she remained leery, uneasy, she had to take the leap of faith. Clarke had to trust the people here. She had to trust Darcy. She had to think the best of them because that's what they were trying to do for her. Think only the best of her.

"Thanks," Clarke replied sincerely. "You're right. I need to focus on that and not on everything I couldn't save or prevent." That list was long and past actions couldn't be corrected. Time travel was not a thing yet and she knew some of the actions, she would still take to this day if the situation fell into the same pattern as it had then. Those situations had given her no choice, but to take the actions she had. She knew she couldn't regret that. She'd killed people, but she'd also saved a lot of lives too. She just hoped that one day the latter would outweigh the former. Being here gave her a good shot at that though and Clarke couldn't wait to help bring new, beautiful babies into this world. To have the chance to make a community thrive was a gift and it was a second chance Clarke was not going to waste. "It means a lot." She raised a hand and gently placed it upon the other woman's; gaze settling on Darcy's face. Again, the thought arose that she was pretty, genuine in herself and in the comfort she shared with Clarke.

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snarkyintern
2017-01-28 05:42 pm UTC (link)

"We're all here for a reason," Darcy said. "We want to make a better place than the one we came from. A place that is a true utopia without any of the hatred and violence that is so ingrained."

She may not know exactly what Clarke's world was like, but she was fairly confident that every world that people came here from had something awful going on or else they wouldn't have chosen to come here to try and make something better.

As usual, Darcy was wearing a thin cotton dress with no bra or panties underneath. She loved the warm weather here and the lack of necessity for undergarments. It was freeing and comfortable. She shifted a little and her shirt hiked up, baring more of her thigh. "Is there anything I can do to help you settle in?"

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romancekiller
2017-01-29 03:05 pm UTC (link)

Reason. Yes. She was here for a reason and she had to remember that reason. She couldn't let doubt or the past cloud her mind. Clarke could not let bad memories keep her from making the most of this opportunity and it was a great opportunity. She had the chance to aid in building a new society. A society, a world, and time without violence, hatred, or pain. It was anyone's dream. No, she believed, deep down, it was everyone's dream: to make a place with only goodness and light instead of darkness and evil. Here, she could bring life into the world, even have a child of her own, and it was amazing. No, the entire chance was a gift and it was for Clarke still a gift she did not think she deserved, but she had to start to believe it. Lingering in the past, the prior darkness and sadness would not help her to accomplish anything here. If she was going to change things, she had to focus on that and not on everything she lost. After all, it was the cardinal rule she lived by. You have to keep going because if you stopped, you had time to think...too much time to think and she couldn't let herself drown. Lexa wouldn't want her to.

"I know. I can't keep living in the past," she replied with a small smile. "It won't do me any good." It wouldn't do anyone here any good if she could not give her all to this place. They needed extra medical personal and Clarke was more than looking forward to participating in her original, primary dream again. The moments helping her mother in the infirmary, providing care, sometimes immediate to those who needed help were some of the most memorable, if not proudest moments of Clarke's life. Since she hit the ground, she'd done little saving and much more the taking of lives. In most cases, it was a "do or die" situation and Clarke had no choice. In others, like Atom, it was a mercy killing, to spare him the pain and agony of a slow death from the fierce burns caused by the poisonous gas. It was the same for Finn; by stabbing him in the heart, Clarke gave him a quick death instead of a slow, painful thousand sword cuts that was Grounder tradition. Even if done for the best of reasons, dealing in death never sat well with Clarke. Killing Finn, someone she loved, had been one of the hardest things she had to do. The hardest? Mount Weather. She didn't do it alone, but Clarke had a horrible habit of shifting the majority of the blame upon herself and though Bellamy shared in that horrible action, Clarke saw herself as the true enemy. She believed herself the true villain in it all.

The shift of shirt and flash of more skin did not go unnoticed by Clarke and the blond swallowed. Pupils dilated and she reached out, slender fingers brushing along exposed flesh gently. It had crossed her mind that she'd been contemplating kissing the other girl since the moment she'd settled in beside her. Those large eyes and smile captured Clarke and it was only now, no longer drowning in her self-hatred that she'd felt rather hypnotized by the other woman. The feel of skin was soft and warm; it was comforting. Clarke leaned in, savoring the feel, the electricity, and gave Darcy a small smile. "I don't know. Maybe..."

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snarkyintern
2017-01-29 06:51 pm UTC (link)

Darcy was a little surprised when she felt Clarke's fingers against her leg, but she was pleased by it. Especially when the other girl leaned in. It was easy to close the distance and press their lips together. She hadn't come out to the beach today with the intention of meeting anyone or hooking up, but it wasn't an uncommon occurrence around here and she certainly wasn't going to turn down the opportunity to be with a beautiful, strong woman.

Of course, she also wasn't about to assume that Clarke was interested in more than a bit of light petting, so she pulled back and reached up to cup the woman's cheek in her hand. "I hope I'm not overstepping."

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romancekiller
2017-02-03 11:40 pm UTC (link)

It was bold and brazen of Clarke and she knew it. She'd just lost Lexa, learned the truth about the Commanders, and turned and run from all of it. If anything, she should be feeling like a coward and nothing else, but she was human and at the sight smooth flesh, she could only feel what a normal human would: attraction and sensation of lust. Besides, part of her sought comfort, a sense of safety in someone, and though she just met the other woman, she found herself feeling such emotions. Darcy's presence provided her with a touch of calm, especially in the moment when her mind had been a whirlpool of emotions, feelings, and pain. The other woman didn't have to stop and speak to her. She could have easily passed her by in favor of a familiar face, but no, she took the chance and she reached out to Clarke. Who knew how far down she'd gone if Darcy had not stopped by to chat and now? It was starting to feel like something more.

At the same time, Clarke knew she'd taken a major chance when she'd brushed her fingers against Darcy's thigh. The woman could have easily been heterosexual with no desire or interest in experiencing things with the same sex. Given everything, Clarke could probably have convinced her, maybe, but it was looking like persuasion of any kind was not needed. Darcy leaned in, taking advantage of shrunk distance to press a kiss to her lips. It was soft, much like her skin, and chaste. An electric shiver shot down her spine and shifted, capable of deepening the kiss for just a moment more before Darcy pulled away. Her mouth tasted sweet, the entire thing tempting Clarke to follow up with another lip lock. Instead, Darcy reached out and cupped her cheek with a gentle hand and Clarke closed her eyes, leaning into the touch. How long had it been since she'd felt such a comforting touch? Since Lexa. Since Lexa...

Clarke lifted and hand, placing fingers over the knuckles in an effort to secure its place upon her face at least for a bit longer. "I hope I'm not overstepping," Clarke replied with a faint smile tugging at her lips. "I'm sorry if I did. I mean-" Clarke broke off. It was obvious the woman was into women or else she would have make it clear already otherwise. She definitely wouldn't have kissed Clarke or cupped her cheek with such affection. "And I need to stop apologizing right now," Clarke chided herself with a light laugh. It was like her though, wasn't it? To overthink things? Well, most of the time anyway. Turning her head, she placed kiss on the other woman's palm sweetly.

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snarkyintern
2017-02-04 04:41 pm UTC (link)

"If you're interested, we could take a walk back to my shelter," Darcy offered. It might be a little bold, but she wasn't shy and they were on an island that was affectionately referred to as 'Sex Island'. Clarke was attractive and clearly interested in women, so she figured there was nothing to lose by making the offer. If Clarke said no, Darcy would either continue to hang out with her on the beach or leave her in peace.

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romancekiller
2017-02-13 12:00 am UTC (link)

Part of her knew that she should not have responded in such a way with Darcy's flash of thigh and soft skin. It was bold, but Clarke was also eighteen and despite her normal, controlled nature, she was known to act rash, if not impulsive if she wanted someone. Maybe it was her need to help someone, to show gratitude, or offer comfort, but she found herself playing this role more than a few times. Since Finn, it had become increasingly easy to focus on duty, to sidestep attraction and human desire, but while on the run, she'd given in. Being young, hormones a whack as hell, it was not hard to convince herself that the particular night might be the last she had, especially when people knowingly started to seek her out from the Ice Clan. She'd sought comfort and protection for a while even if there was little chance of it lasting beyond that single night. Being the reason behind so much death kept Clarke on the run. That and she was hoping her own people would not find her. She doubted Bellamy had headed her advice and not sought to find her in the thick stretch of woods. It was a time where she was torn; part of her wished him to heed her on this, but some part was hoping he wouldn't. In the end, it didn't matter because Clark ended up in Polis with Lexa.

At the mention of a shelter, down the beach, if Clarke was interested, the blond gave a seconds pause. It was bold, but Clarke had been bold first, hadn't she? Part of her wanted to feel safe and comforted despite it being only momentary event. This place made such actions permissible, accepted, and welcomed. She guessed to not take advantage of it would be a sin for sure. It was obvious Darcy wasn't shy about her sexuality or her attraction to Clarke. Why should she refuse it? Lexa seemed like a decent reason, but then again, she knew it was a foolish endeavor. She was not a part of that world anymore and Lexa wasn't here. Apparently, she remained dead. The thought haunted Clarke because she cared deeply for the other woman, but she knew Lexa wouldn't want her to be miserable or simply forever stuck in one place and time. Yet, there was a pang of guilt and some fracture of hesitation at the invitation. was it betrayal? No, they had never gotten that far, had they? Lexa's life was stolen in matter of seconds. Still, the thought lingered and Clarke sat on it for a moment more before making a decision.

"I'd like that a lot, actually," the blond finally replied with a small smile. She stood, tugging the other woman up with her and the smile remained strong, stubborn upon her lips. "Lead the way." Clarke figured eventually she would have to come up with a shelter construct, but the rumors of dorms kept her from taking such action just yet. Constructing something was not unfamiliar to her, especially after her time spent alone. She'd had only herself to count on, no one else, and she had to go it alone. She was sure someone here, being as kind as they were, would offer, but Clarke was a difficult one to accept help...sometimes. She was not dumb; no one could survive on their own, could they? It was a miracle she had for as long as she did.

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