Who: Sam Winchester and Mary Winchester. What: Chatting. When: Evening. Where: The Winchester's place. Rating: TBD.
For the most part, Sam had spent his time out of the apartment ever since the accidental death fiasco had gone down. Being around the people that knew him best; knowing that they'd be able to determine that he'd screwed up horribly almost instantly -- it kept him away. Up until a little while ago, Sam hadn't whispered a word of his crimes to anyone beyond Ruby. The secret had been hidden between them, stowed away in the dark where, as Sam assumed, Ruby probably felt that it belonged. However, Sam knew that he couldn't keep it all a secret. There were but only so many excuses that Sam could make up for his determination to be away from everyone. And they certainly would have been able to take note of the hollowed look in his eyes whenever he was around. Sam didn't talk much. He didn't eat much. He was just there, a physical presence sure enough, but not the same person that everyone knew.
It had been that way for a few days now. Coming clean to a few people on the boards earlier in the evening had helped a little, even though Sam highly doubted that there was really anyone out there that could rid him of that guilt that was weighing down on his shoulders. The only person that he'd spoken to that seemed to at least understand his stance on the situation was that guy, Gabriel. They both felt the same way. They had people that cared about them and would gladly tell them that they weren't the monsters that they made themselves out to be. It was what they did best, they were willing to overlook the mistakes that were made. Family. That was what it was all about. They'd forgive and forget.
Besides. They had no idea what it was like. Not even close. They didn't know what it felt like to use one's mind to hack off the head of an innocent young woman. They would never know. So they couldn't understand.
Sam was okay with that. He really was. He only wished that they would admit that maybe there was something wrong with him. Only then would they realize that there was a potential enemy living among them. They'd learn to be more cautious, even though Sam knew that it would kill him to see that hesitant look in their eyes. But it would be safer for everyone. And that was exactly what he wanted at the end of the day. They needed to be safe. He had to make sure of that.
As of now, he was in his room again. Sam hadn't really talked to much of anyone outside of his rant on the boards. It was just tiring. He'd spent so much time being miserable and avoiding everyone that it left him feeling like this huge and useless lump of exhaustion. So now he was here, sprawled out on his stomach across his bed with his laptop open in front of him. His eyes were trained on the screen, reading through some of the messages that Dean had sent him, when he heard a knock at his door. Sam turned his gaze from the screen. It was probably Dean, running in to criticize him in person for thinking that a mechanic could handle his 'baby' or something. With a shake of his head and a roll of his eyes, Sam glanced back at the laptop again.
"It's open," he stated, loudly enough for the person on the other side to hear.