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Tweak says, "One is All. All is One."

michael corner is reluctantly growing up (mlcorner) wrote in pandorarpg,
@ 2012-01-30 17:30:00

Entry tags:

!status: complete, ^date: november 14 2003, character: agatha bole, character: fenrir greyback, character: lavender brown, character: michael corner

Characters: Lavender Brown, the Brown family, Michael Corner; later Agatha Bole & Fenrir Greyback
Setting: Lavender's home, Eastbourne, 14 November 2003, 12:14pm
Rating: PG-13 for language and imagery
Summary: Checking on Lavender after the news, being surprised by Greyback.

Michael had had a pretty shitty morning overall. With Greyback breaking out which he knew would set Lavender on edge (and was obviously not good for any of them - not just Lavender), he wanted to do his best to make sure she was at least not losing her mind about all of this. She probably didn't feel safe at all and even if her flat was back in order, was she going to move back into it? He had no idea, but he had a feeling it probably was a no.

But besides that, he had the potions mucking people's minds up. Apparently instead of helping it was making the nightmares even worse for them which was both mind boggling and ridiculous at the same time. But most of all, it meant that Michael had fucked up royally and ruined things for his friends. He should have anticipated something like this happening, having the knowledge of potions that he did, but he was so keen on helping these people that he overlooked some of the most important things he should have done.

So he wasn't in the best of moods when he apparated to Eastbourne, but he had to try his best to comfort Lavender right now. He walked out of the wood behind their house and to the front door, knocking firmly on the front door and doing his best to put a smile on his face for Lavender and her family that he might be talking to on the way. Her needs were a bit more than his at the moment and he wanted to make sure he kept her from taking anymore of the potion while he was there anyhow.

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mlcorner
2012-02-02 03:17 am UTC (link)

"I guess. I mean, I can still work on it but without really know what the magic is that is surrounding those memories it is almost impossible for me to know how to alter the potions to get them to work right. And I don't really want to risk it anymore considering what just happened the second time for everyone. Which means all my other ideas are pretty much null and void too. I can't risk mucking with anyone's head like that again."

Michael could probably go on about this for a while. He was really, really angry with himself for how this had turned out and he was not really listening to anyone tell him otherwise, especially when he could see the terror it had caused Anthony this morning by the way that first owl had come to him. Even with her hand in his and there being something to center himself on, it didn't change the facts staring him in the face. "I gave some people one night free of it...and then I gave some another night of something even more terrible than what they had been experiencing before. So to be honest, I think it sort of cancels itself out if we're going to keep score of what I have done to try and help." His voice couldn't drip with any more sarcasm over the word 'help' if he tried.

And he knew he wasn't the only one trying to help. Maybe he had been the first to produce some sort of tangible product, but look how well it had gone over? It was apparently best not to even try if all he was going to do was ruin things for his friends he was trying to assist. "I think I should stick to my secretarial duties where I am less likely to cause anyone harm by brandishing a quill."

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lavishly
2012-02-02 04:15 am UTC (link)

"Yeah, Michael, please keep writing things down and just giving up." Although the words might be a little harsh, the tone was neutral. Lavender dealing with him the same way her mother often dealt with her - by agreeing and point out how that line of thought was ridiculous. In some ways it was just proof they were even more alike. "That seems like the far better option."

And then just in case he understand what she was trying to say she nudged him with her elbow. "Besides, at least this way we can be outcasts and disliked together." Because sometimes they had ideas that they didn't want to keep to themselves because it could actually help. And it kind of helped to know that someone might be in the hole along with her - especially if that person was Michael.

"But, honestly, Michael, a night of the world's worst nightmare is probably better than actually being tortured and killed." It wasn't quite a sort of clarity of peace with her lot in life, because every bit of it was still scary and horrible. Still, it was good to have something else - to be able to at least know to where to start looking for some sort of hope.

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mlcorner
2012-02-02 04:45 am UTC (link)

Michael chewed on the inside of his mouth when Lavender snarked at him, not really replying right away because he was fairly used to this sort of retort from her by now and it didn't bother him all that much. She just didn't seem to understand that what she was saying felt true to him - it did feel like the better option. "I'm not giving up, Lav, but I'm not going to put people in that sort of position again. It's awful...I thought I could help and all I ended up doing was causing people more pain than they were already getting. They were better off before they tried the potion. I think not mucking about with potions and these memories is the better option right now."

But then she was saying this weird thing that despite everything was sort of funny to him. He felt a smile tugging at his lips and he shook his head at her. "You-" but there wasn't anything else to say about her. She was who she was and he liked her that way. He found himself leaning forward, pressing his forehead against hers for a moment before kissing her on the lips briefly.

He pulled on her hand and started to walk again. "I know that, but we've no guarantee that anyone is going to live or die any day of the week, Lav. I'm not going to use that as a measurement to say 'Well, you could also be dead so this is definitely the less evil option! You should be thanking me!' I mean, really."

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lavishly
2012-02-03 04:30 am UTC (link)

As they started walking, she stayed close to him, not sure what to say. Well, that wasn't true, she knew what to say, she just wasn't sure she wanted to say it. Because the things she was thinking about, well, they weren't particularly good things and she didn't want to make him hurt anymore because he was already upset over the potion. And it was all just sort of messy.

Still, she had to say it. She couldn't not say it, that was part of who she was too and he had asked. "Matthew, my nephew, he's having the not-nightmares," she said finally. "That was what was in his drawing." A horrible picture of a woman with bright red hair and she just knew, but she still asked. Lavender could handle having the nightmares, she knew about suffering and she could endure it.

"God, Michael, he's six years old. He hasn't even started yet." Her voice broke just a little then, all those cracks showing, reminding them both of what she would never forget. "So, I'd have dozens of worse nights if it meant we were even a little bit closer to figuring out what's going on and finding a way to make it stop."

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mlcorner
2012-02-03 07:48 am UTC (link)

Michael squeezed her hand involuntarily when she told him about Matthew. It wasn't what he'd expected to hear and it certainly hadn't been something he'd noticed when he'd talked to the boy. But then again, how the hell was he supposed to notice it? He just hated all of this, every single day got more difficult.

"Lavender...I'm sorry. I had no idea. That's not - it's so fucked up. This isn't fair. He doesn't deserve-" and suddenly Michael was inside his own mind, replaying a conversation he'd had with his brother a couple of days ago.

"Could you just come for dinner on Friday, Mike? It's really not a big deal - I don't know why there has to be an occasion." James said, sighing that familiar sigh he had that was reserved for Michael when he was getting frustrated.

"Anytime I am being asked to go to dinner at Mum and Dad's it is definitely an occasion. And I think bribery should be involved to really convince me to put up with Mum's nattering and Dad's incessant talk about the 'interwebs'."

"Just come, will you? We haven't had a family dinner in a while, yeah? Mum would like it of us."

He should have known then. Why hadn't he seen it? He had been so preoccupied with making the potion and dealing with Anthony and Lavender that he had not even considered the idea that anyone in his family could be affected. But - "Fuck!" he randomly blurted out and he realised now that he was clenching Lavender's hand like a vice. He loosened his hold and said, "Sorry. Sorry, I just - it's James. He didn't tell me, but I think he might be having them too."

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lavishly
2012-02-05 11:40 pm UTC (link)

None of them deserved this, but there still something exceptionally worse about a child being affected by what was happening. "I'm sorry," she said, not sure what else she could say, so she just tugged his hand and picked up the pace a little. Lavender didn't know how far this disaster with Pandora reached or how much more would be taken from them before it was all over? The woman created ripples, bad ones, no doubt she had something to do with Greyback escaping. And all those ripples seemed to resonate clearly that a lot of good people were going to die and she was more and more likely to be among them.

Finally they reached the beach, their final destination, and she let Bailey off his lead to run around as he wanted. Lavender then plopped down on the sand, staring out at the ocean. Hadn't they all been through enough? With everything in their childhood, surely that was enough for a lifetime. "It's just not fair. I mean how, after everything, is this what we get?"

It wasn't like after the final battle she expected the castle, the prince and the fairytale ending, but she didn't think it would be like this. To think that once she had actually thought it could get better. Now she knew, it didn't ever get better. It was just the same stuff all over again, and maybe a little worse. "And I just feel so entirely useless."

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mlcorner
2012-02-08 01:38 am UTC (link)

Michael let Baby Girl off of her lead too so she could run with Bailey in the sand. He didn't come to the beach often so he sat behind Lavender, legs on either side of her and rested his chin on her shoulder, staring out over the water, watching the waves break. He heard the dogs barking at one another but he was more interested in watching the water at that moment; it was sort of mesmerising. "We've always been tested, I guess it's just another test to see how we cope? I don't rightly know. I thought it was over back in school, but I guess something else will always come along, won't it?"

Michael shook his head, not sure why she was saying that because Lavender had done loads for the lot of them so why would she think she was useless now? Not to mention she had done loads for him, even if she did drive him a bit crazy sometimes. "You're not useless, Lav. You have done quite a lot for the DA and we wouldn't be nearly where we are without your help."

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lavishly
2012-02-08 02:18 am UTC (link)

Lavender had always liked the ocean. It was a place she go to unwind a little and just let all of the noise go. Aside from the dogs who might come as company, she had never really taken anyone before, although she didn't mind Michael's presence. It was quite the opposite really. So, she leaned back against him, just reveling in being there. It was a constant, he was a constant and she needed that.

She wanted to tell him that she was sick of being tested, or that maybe she just wanted to live. The only problem with that was she wasn't sure how to do that anymore. The best she knew how to do was survive and it was starting to feel like not enough. Lavender wanted something more and that was a dangerous thing, because it put her in a place where she stood to lose more than she had before.

"I feel useless, I feel like I'm trying, but no one is listening and now," she paused just a moment, "Greyback is out and some auror gave me an SOS pack of bubblegum and told me not to do anything foolish. People are being killed, not just being tortured or locked away and God..." It was then that she really started to understand what he had been telling her, about how he felt for this whole thing. It was also the shift away from scared girl and victim to something more. "I need to be able to do something."

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mlcorner
2012-02-09 04:01 pm UTC (link)

If it weren't for the subject matter, he could consider this another one of those 'normal' couple situations. How very quaint for them, really, to sit on the beach in such a manner staring out into the ocean and discuss the most depressing subjects possible. If you knew Michael and Lavender, it would probably make sense though. At least these days.

Michael settled an arm around her waist when she said that and tried to look sideways at her. "I'm still listening, Lavender. I'll always listen." He considered what she said, about Greyback and the bubblegum and doing something and tried to approach this as carefully as possible. "What do you want to do, exactly?" He wasn't sure if she was getting more hopeful and wanting to take action or if she was thinking of doing something rather reckless and stupid.

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lavishly
2012-02-09 11:53 pm UTC (link)

Lavender would have found the whole situation sort of fitting and quite Romantic - as in the great literary movements. Her sister had always described the Romantics as fools standing on a beach whining. Only she wasn't really whining, she trying to figure out how to become more than a victim. She was scared, but she had been scared before, and her life was on the line, but she still had some sort of power. It wasn't over yet.

She knew he listened, that he had been an ally and maybe she took that a given sometimes. Rather than comment on it, because what was there to say, she just laced their fingers together.

"I don't know, I'm still trying to figure that part out, but I have an auror one apparation away because she thinks that he's going to come back and finish the job, but what about all of us with marks? And far as I know they haven't gotten anything, when it's the same for them." Oddly enough the fact she was likely to be attacked or killed by two different things didn't really bother her as much as she thought it would. If anything she was bothered by the 'advantage' she seemed to have with access to help if she needed it. "And that just doesn't seem right."

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mlcorner
2012-02-10 02:45 pm UTC (link)

Michael could understand where she was coming from but at the same time, he wanted to be selfish in this situation. If Lavender had a way out that others did not, he wanted her to take it. He rubbed his hand up and down her arm slowly. "It might not seem fair, but your situation is a little different, Lav. And there are so many people who have memories - there's no way they can protect them all. It's not feasible. But if they can at least save one more that they know for certain might be in immediate danger..."

He knew that it wasn't exactly what she wanted to hear, but he couldn't help but say it. It was how he felt. And he didn't want her to die needlessly. "Just promise me that you'll use it, Lavender. Please. I know it's not fair to everyone else, but quite honestly I don't care right now; I don't want to lose you." It was about as close as he came to saying he loved her, though he had said countless times that he cared about her and that he would die for her. There was a tone that he hoped conveyed that this was his saying it and she needed to listen for once. Michael buried his nose into the crook of her neck and breathed in deeply.

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lavishly
2012-02-10 05:58 pm UTC (link)

"I'll use it." Of course she would use it. It might have bothered her that she was getting special treatment because she was wanted dead twice, she hated more the thought that Fenrir Greyback was out on the loose, able to hurt more people. He was a monster who ha terrified more than enough people already. Anything she could do to stop that - well, she would do it if she could.

Except the tone between them shifted again. Not that what they had been talking about before was particularly upbeat, but it was different now. This wasn't just about everything that was coming for them. It was also about this fragile thing between them.

"Hey," she said, shifting a little so she could look at him. Lavender wanted to promise him that wasn't going anywhere and respond to all of those things he wasn't quite saying. And she heard them. Lavender might talk a lot, but she did know when it was important to listen. However, rather than give sound to any of those things she pulled his lips into a series of gentle kisses.

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