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lavender is sure that living is worse ([info]lavishly) wrote in [info]pandorarpg,
@ 2011-12-14 00:15:00

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Entry tags:!status: complete, ^date: november 07 2003, character: lavender brown, character: michael corner

Characters: Michael Corner & Lavender Brown
Setting: Lavender's bedroom, after three am
Rating: Rish, for disturbing imagery
Summary: Lavender has the nightmare to end all nightmares.

Lavender wasn't sure when she fell asleep, or even when the more vidid images started to drift into her already exhausted mind. There had just been so much going on and it made sense that her mind would try to deal with in dreams. She would have liked to believe that having Michael there helped. Although it was difficult to measure if her restlessness could be worse. Lavender had thrashed and moved around, half waking up with her heart racing, only to curl into Michael like if she could burrow deep enough he could make them go away.

The worst one came not long after three am. It started typically enough. Lavender was barefoot running through the Forbidden Forest with Greyback closing in on her at every step. No matter how fast she pushed herself, she could never go fast enough. She stumbled over a knot of roots, tumbling down into a small drop in the woods, her body covered in cuts and scrapes and her arm stuck under a rock that was too heavy to move.

She struggled against it, tears welling in her eyes, but not letting herself cry because she had to escape. Just as she broke free, Greyback came leaping down on her - all teeth and claws. He bit hard into her shoulder, taking a piece of her flesh with him and she screamed out.

This was usually the part where someone came to save her and then she attacked them once Greyback was gone. Tonight the role of savior was played by Bianca Dunstan, only it wasn't really Bianca because her hair was too vibrant of a red. Without a wand, she blasted Greyback away.

"Oh my dear child, you have found yourself in quite the state. Let me help you."

Her breathing had barely returned to normal, let alone respond to the question before a swarm of Cornish Pixies descended upon her. In the distance she could hear that laughter ringing her ears. The pixies were relentless. They bit and tore at her at her skin revealing patches of fur where muscle and bone should be. They didn't stop until the girl was no longer leaving a werewolf in her place.

"Yes, now, that is much better. Now, you are what you were meant to be and you will help me become what I am destined to be."

The woods disappeared as the whole dreamscape shifted around her until it focused on her flat. She stood by the bedroom door, watching two people sleep in her bed. One she knew as Michael and the other she couldn't name. Her dream self shifted on her haunches and pounced on the bed. Her sharp, nasty teeth bared, she ripped back the covers slicing frantically into Michael.

The Michael in her dream started to struggle, trying to escape. A low growl rumbled in her throat as he nearly knocked her off the bed, but she paused as if having a second thought. She didn't want to hurt Michael.

Then the blonde woman beside Michael reached over to help hold the man down, a pleased smile slipping across her face. "Well, if you're not going to do it, then I guess I will. I mean it would be a shame to let such a treat go to waste." Her fingers shifted into claws as she ripped Michael's heart from his chest.

The woman - herself, she saw it now, titled back her head her jaw sort of unhinging presumably so that she could eat the heart.

Lavender shot up in the bed, screaming "NO!" The sudden movement meant her limbs were everywhere and more violently than before not that she had the sense to worry about hurting Michael just then. Her whole body was shaking. It was just too real.


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[info]lavishly
2011-12-15 02:52 am UTC (link)
The adrenaline seemed to burning off now, the immediate fear passing and settling on that sort of uneasy clarity or at least something like clarity. The pieces were falling into place. Even if she was still trembling, she grounding herself in the waking world, which could be just as bad as her nightmares.

A sad smile fell across her face as she watched him react. She wasn't sure what she had been expecting, but she saw what she needed to see. "Except that you are there and I'm here."

She was so conflicted, so contrary. What she wanted was not at all clear in how she acted or even in what she asked for. Lavender was divided and truly torn about everything, especially who she was. She wasn't sure she would ever be able to trust herself, she didn't even think that he trusted her. And yet she wanted him to lie to her, to hold her, and tell her everything was going to okay, when she knew it wasn't. Or even that she couldn't have that.

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[info]mlcorner
2011-12-15 03:11 am UTC (link)
Michael gave her a small smile. "Yes well the last time I tried to hold you, you fell off the bed trying to get away from me. I'm beginning to learn that I should probably let you come to me when you're ready instead of the other way round." Michael sat up and dangled his feet over the edge of the bed, running his hands through his hair.

"Sides, I think that might prevent so many incidents where things are being hurled at my face...though probably not." He was trying to make her smile because he didn't know what else to do. And he didn't know what was going on in her head just then, but he knew it probably wasn't that great.

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[info]lavishly
2011-12-15 03:17 am UTC (link)
Only she was never going to simply come to him. Lavender Brown might have been a Gryffindor, but she didn't have the courage to take what she wanted and even at times what she needed. She looked up at him, eyes glassy with tears, but her expression open and unguarded. "This is who I am, Lavender Brown at her glory." Nothing more than a heap on the floor bundled in a blanket who in other times threw things and kept people away. It was safer that way.

"But hey, at least it could be over soon." It barely counted as an attempt at humor. She wasn't even sure if she was trying to be funny or not, it was just sort of sad and pathetic. Yes, she was back on this topic from only a few hours ago, but she couldn't let it go not when it came up again in her nightmare.

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[info]mlcorner
2011-12-15 04:32 am UTC (link)
Michael sighed because he hated when she said things like that and despite what he'd just said, he couldn't just let that go. So he pushed himself off the bed and sat down on the floor next to her, tugging the corner of the comforter out until he was underneath it with her. Michael put his hand around her shoulders and leaned her toward him, trying to get her to rest her head on his shoulder.

"Nightmare is over now, Lav. I'll be here to help you face life if you ever want to lean on me. You don't even have to ask, you can just come find me and I'm yours. I lo—" Michael shut up quickly then, because these were words he did not say. Michael Corner did not do this. The greatest part of his arrangement with Lavender had been that it was an arrangement and nothing more. What the fuck was going on?

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[info]lavishly
2011-12-15 05:37 am UTC (link)
While she had fought him before, this time she let him in, seeking that comfort. It was too soon before, the setting too similar. Lavender was still coming down from the nightmare, her head still trying to make sense of it all and find meaning. For now she pressed her nose into the crevice of his neck inhaling a scent that was pure Michael.

It was soothing, steadying and then he let that half-spoken word hand between them. Lavender leaned back, turning her head and trying to catch his eyes. Things with Michael had never been that simple, it was never just an arrangement for her. They might not have put labels on it and it might have been part coping mechanism, but that wasn't all it was.

It couldn't be. Not when after the battle, he was that one she went to seeking validation and something more only to find that she couldn't handle it. She wasn't sure if she could handle it now, but she needed to know. "You what?"

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[info]mlcorner
2011-12-15 03:57 pm UTC (link)
No no no. This was not happening. Why did she have to notice? Why in Merlin's name would he even have started to say something like that? It was never something he thought about it, he didn't even know if he felt it except that he had always been there with Lavender and not really acknowledged it. So when the words began tumbling out of his mouth they just seemed to be, without thought or explanation or rationalisation. But there were those things now and they were all telling him that he was completely nutters to think that he was in love with Lavender Brown. Michael Corner did not fall in love. He did not do relationships at all, so how would he know how to love someone?

"I-I - you - it's-" It was not very often than Michael was at a loss for words. Generally he could drum up something to say without any trouble but this was definitely a situation in which he could not bring himself to actually finish that sentence or to even try to consider that maybe it was true. He pulled his arm from around her shoulders and linked his hands behind the back of his neck, holding his head between his knees. He almost felt physically ill by all of this. Eventually he just said, "I'm not sure," because that was better than what he was going to say before and it was partially true and he didn't want to think about this. He never wanted to think about this.

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[info]lavishly
2011-12-15 07:25 pm UTC (link)
Some pair the two of them made, falling apart on her bedroom floor in the early morning. Now it was her turn to sit there at a complete loss. She had eaten his heart and liked it on top of too many other things gone wrong, the three of swords included. Maybe it was a bad idea. Maybe she should have found some excuse to leave, take a shower, head down to the bakery anything. But she didn't, she just sat there looking at him.

"What if," she started and considered not saying it because it opened a door she wasn't sure she was ready to look down. Being certain didn't make it better. In fact that was scarier for her. To love someone, to even want someone, and he was always there. She could throw all sorts of vegetables, books and anything else at him and not once had he ran in the other direction. Even when she tried to make him fit into a safer version of the world, he never fit. Not couldn't.

"What if I was?"

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