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Tweak says, "Wind friction."

michael corner is reluctantly growing up (mlcorner) wrote in pandorarpg,
@ 2011-12-08 18:02:00

Entry tags:

!status: complete, ^date: november 06 2003, character: lavender brown, character: michael corner

Characters: Lavender Brown and Michael Corner
Setting: Lavender's flat, 6 November 2003, 7:42pm
Rating: PG
Summary: Michael is going to get Lavender to let someone in if he has to force himself in—which he just might.

Michael was really worried about Lavender after writing back and forth with her in the journals. She didn't sound anything like herself and he really didn't know exactly what was wrong with her but with the nightmares he just wasn't sure how stable she was and if she should be on her own. She'd never admit to anything otherwise but that didn't really matter to him just then; he wanted to know that she was safe and the only way to do that was to go to her flat and see for himself and stay with her if need be.

His original plan was to try and con her into going to the meeting but he wasn't really thinking about that anymore after seeing how she reacted to him in the margins. She seemed so unwound and the way she was talking about dying, he was just so worried for her. He didn't live that far from her now and the walking did him some good to clear his head. He knew she wouldn't react well to his storming her place like this, but he would deal with the consequences as they came. Michael stopped at the cafe to grab some food for them both before continuing toward her flat. He had to hope that she would at least open the door for him so that he could push his way in before she slammed it in his face or he may not even get in—but he had to get in. He had to be there for her. He didn't care how angry she was, it was better than her being alone.

He raised a hand and knocked quietly, hoping that it would make her think it was someone else. Michael was generally a loud and boisterous knocker. If she didn't open the door, he'd have to try and break in. What if she was hurt or in some sort of trouble? He'd have to do it, for her sake.

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mlcorner
2011-12-09 03:34 am UTC (link)

Michael opened his mouth to respond that, yes, he would stay there all night until he realised what she was saying and by then she was stalking away from him so he grabbed his bag of soup which would be cold by the time they got through with all this and followed through the door she had closed behind her.

He had been to her flat before, but not that many times so he had to follow the noise to find where she was. He wondered offhandedly if she had baked anything recently because she always made the best sort of food, but he wasn't going to ask, of course. When he reached her he leaned against the nearest wall and said, "They weren't my carrots to enjoy. They're yours."

He set the food down on the most convenient space near him and instead of talking, because he didn't have much else to say at that point, he walked up to her slowly—knowing that she was possibly going to hit him for doing so, but risked it anyhow—and pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her waist. Michael rested his cheek on the top of her head and held her tightly, determined not to let her go until she stopped being so stubborn.

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lavishly
2011-12-09 04:04 am UTC (link)

She should have locked the door, normally did lock the door, but she had wards in place to keep people out. And while he might say that she kept people at a safe distance, she never fully locked them out, not the ones that mattered.

"Goodness, do you ever take a hint?" Even as she was trying to get away, a part of her knew the answer was yes. Only Michael wasn't seeing the show, the loud, stubborn and maybe a little bit mean, but rather the one who was flailing and needed something to hold onto right now. Not that it stopped her from hitting him with her tiny ineffectual fists.

"No, of course not, you're like some squid and just why can't you just let it go? I mean after everything, why? Not that it matters anymore, or it won't matter for long and you're just..." She paused stopping herself before it spiraled into a never ending stream of word sickness. "You're just still here."

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mlcorner
2011-12-09 04:22 am UTC (link)

Michael shook his head against hers but didn't back away to look at her because he knew it would be disastrous if he did. "You're not going to die, Lavender. We're not going to let you so just get it out of your head and stop trying to live your life like you're already dead, because you're not."

Michael turned his mouth toward her head and spoke into her hair. "And maybe you should take a hint for once and realise that I am still here and I'm not going anywhere. After everything, I've still no reason to go anywhere. I'm going to stay here and I'm going to bloody support you and you're going to accept it whether you want to or not and you can hit me all you damn well want to, Lav, I'll still be standing here." He squeezed her waist tighter for emphasis, as though that would prove his point in some way.

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lavishly
2011-12-09 04:57 am UTC (link)

Lavender didn't believe him. No one really knew what was happening right now, not even her, although she had idea enough that it made her sick just thinking about it. So, maybe she hit him a little bit harder for what she was feeling along with his little comment, but it didn't really carry much of a punch. She didn't want to hurt him, she didn't even really know how to properly punch a person.

"I hate you sometimes because you're stupid and there's no reason why you should be standing here." Especially not when nothing about trying to be her friend and whatever else they had been before was easy. She had made such a fool of herself and then made it worse. Even if he said otherwise, it wasn't going to change her mind.

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mlcorner
2011-12-09 05:21 am UTC (link)

"I have plenty of reason to be standing here, love," he replied and this time he kissed her hair and rubbed her back a bit. "If I didn't, why else would I be?" He chuckled a little before continuing, "And no, it's not because I'm stupid. It's because I care about you, because you're a beautiful, wonderful person that I can't stand not to be around. It's because when you left my flat and didn't talk to me for weeks I felt terrible and I missed you and I wondered if you hated me and if you were ever going to forgive me for whatever it was that I had mucked up for you when all that time you were thinking there was something wrong with you."

Michael finally leaned back and looked into her face. "And whenever I look at you, Lavender, I cannot, for the life of me, understand how you do not see how amazingly stunning you are still, regardless of what has happened. You think that you have changed so much since 7th year but you are just as beautiful now are you were then."

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lavishly
2011-12-10 03:32 am UTC (link)

She might not be different, but she wasn't the same. Only she didn't feel any older or wiser for it. Lavender Brown still placed so much of her self-worth into being pretty or seen as attractive. It wasn't something she knew how to redefine. She wanted to people to like her and honestly couldn't fathom how that could be possible now that she was like this. So, no, she didn't believe him, couldn't believe him.

Lavender wasn't stunning, wonderful of beautiful. She was just worn out and tired. She hit him on last time and that was it. There was nothing left. She barely had reason to fight him at the start. And it had just been so long since she'd been held.

So, she fell into him, finally wrapping her arms around him, pressing her face into the crook of his neck because she couldn't look at him. "But it's easier if I'm already dead," she said not letting herself cry. Not yet at least, no matter how scared she was or how certain she was that her future was a big fat three of swords.

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mlcorner
2011-12-10 06:21 am UTC (link)

Michael hugged her closer to himself, cradling the back of her head with his hand. It's not as if she needed it there, but he wanted to hold it there, wanted to support it as though it helped her in some way even though he wasn't sure that he could help her at all. It didn't seem to matter what he said or did anymore, she didn't ever listen to him or believe him.

He couldn't stand listening to her say that, though. "How, Lavender? How can it be easier? How can it be better? For you, for your family, for your friends? I just don't understand you sometimes." He squeezed her then because she wasn't looking at him then, but it didn't matter. He tangled his hand in her hair some, like he was looking for a place to hide it for a little while. "Do you want to die, Lavender?" he asked finally, though he didn't really want to because he didn't think it should matter. She shouldn't want any such thing, yet she couldn't stop mentioning it, which worried him. He wanted to steer her away from that place, but he wasn't sure he would have the strength or the ability to do so.

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lavishly
2011-12-10 07:22 am UTC (link)

She pressed closer to him for a moment, wanting to pretend that question didn't linger between them. Lavender didn't want to die that was the thing. After feeling conflicting about surviving the battle and sometimes wishing she didn't, now that death was looming she didn't want it. Because if this were the last chapters of her life, it was rather pathetic.

"It doesn't matter what I want. It's already in motion." She had seen it twice. More importantly she felt it, so much more since Bianca was here yesterday. "I'm already marked and I just have this feeling, this very bad feeling that's different than any other feeling I've had before."

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