InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Wotcher."

Ton Phanan (wraith_7) wrote in outoftimerp,
@ 2012-09-11 13:25:00

Entry tags:

*closed, *complete, .location: hospital, martha jones, ton phanan

Characters: Ton Phanan, Martha Jones
Rating: PG for now
Trigger Warnings: Discussion of mutual trauma also Phanan sarcasm?
Location: Paco and Awanata doctors office apartments
Day and Time: Tuesday. June 28, middle of the night
Status: Closed, PM to join

One of the lucky benefits of the head injury that had resulted in the cybernetic face was just enough brain damage to keep Phanan from remembering the event. The obvious drawback here was that nightmares were just vague, fiery messes that made no sense at all and just sort of hurt. He liked to pretend he did not really notice the metal parts, or that he did not really care and most days that was more or less true. And on the bad days, the days it wasn't true he would just force on a smile, and let his sarcasm become a bit more bitter than normal and that would be that. And sometimes, on days like today, he'd just have nightmares anyway even though everything had been fine.

His remaining eye snapped open as he finally dragged himself out of it, lying frozen in bed for a long moment, suddenly, infinitely away of every piece of technology welded to his body. He imagined he could feel every wire racing up to connect to a tendon, ever circuit replacing brain cells, every bit of electricity that had replaced muscle function. It was a horrifying feeling, incredibly disconcerting and for a moment he thought he was going to be sick.

Instead he sat up slowly, hating that he had done this so many times now and was still terrible at dealing with it. The cool air struck the bare, sweat-soaked skin of his chest and he shivered, running a shaky hand through his hair and trying to avoid contacting any bits of metal. Vaguely he wondered if he had been screaming. His throat certainly hurt enough for it. Oh, that was nice. He did not bother turning on the light, and the eery red glow of his robotic eye did little to penetrate the darkness.

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

notrosesshadow
2012-10-07 03:54 pm UTC (link)

Martha raised herself up onto her elbow. Her voice got a little stronger as she did. Slowly, she reached out a hand and began running it through Phanan's hair. He trembled, but so did she, so it wasn't that bad in the grand scheme of things.

The song switched over to Hey Jude as she smoothed his hair back from his forehead and continued combing her fingers through it.

Martha could feel her eyes wanting to close. Somewhere along the Na na na nas, she yawned. And slowly she lay back down, nestling herself against Phanan and continuing to hum. Of course there would still be pain, and nightmares, and other bad things. But mostly, Martha was comforted by the fact that she found someone who would understand.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

wraith_7
2012-10-08 01:00 am UTC (link)

Up until now Phanan had managed to hold it together but at the way she began running her hands through his hair he finally lost his last bit of self control. What was left of his face twisted up as tears began to escape, an ugly contrast with the unmoving metal fused to it. It turned a normal human emotion into something monstrous and wrong looking, each half throwing the other into stark contrast.

There was a lot he still was not going to say to her, like how much he hated himself and his existence most days, or how sometimes on missions it felt like it would just be so easy to slip for a moment, to drift into the line of fire or be a little too slow to draw his blaster. But the tears and admissions about how hard it was just to be alive were more than most people got, and as a result he did not really know how to say thank you or tell her how much he appreciated it all. So he just silently pulled her closer as she snuggled up against him, so desperately grateful she had heard him having that nightmare.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(Read comments) -