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Tweak says, "Scars can come in useful"

Robert Callen (r_callen) wrote in omega_reality,
@ 2011-10-21 14:04:00

Entry tags:

*complete, 2011 10, character: g callen, character: robert callen

RP: Robert and G
Who: Robert and G
Where: G's Office
When: October 21, 2011
Summary: Robert wants to talk to G about a new partner

Robert let the day go by. It was much easier not to make a fuss at the start of the day. Instead, it was much cleaner to talk to G after work, then they'd have the weekend for things to smooth things over, and Monday they could hopefully go back to work with new partners. It was the perfect plan and what kept Robert going through the day, always smiling, always being helpful, always pretending that he gave a crap about all of this.

A cover! His brother talked about covers, but really this was just how people behaved all the time.

Finally, the end of the day arrived and he went to G's office. A knock and an 'enter', and he stepped inside. Robert wasn't going to waste time, his or G's, since he was sure that G would rather be home anyway. "I'll make it quick. I need you to change my partner."

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r_callen
2011-10-24 05:40 pm UTC (link)

"I am, but don't go overboard for me, not when she won't be able to be in the field anyway pretty soon. Besides, if you leave it up to her, she'd want to be out there until the day she gives birth, so don't put her in a situation where she can be. There are enough dangers without adding to it," he pointed out.

This entire discussion was making him twitch. Uncomfortable wasn't a strong enough word to describe how he was feeling as G went on. "No, it's life and you can't trust anyone but family." How many times had his mother told him that? Was she preparing to meet his family eventually? "You can still do the job without trusting people with the personal things, because trust means different things. I can trust someone with my life, have to in the Air Force, but I don't have to share what I think. Same with this job." He chuckled. "I wouldn't go so far. Sex is fun, sex can be a necessity if you need an heir, sex can be a game, but it's never been a job." Robert cracked a smile. "I tell you more in a meeting than everyone else combined in a month." He might have said more to Mike and that had proven to be a mistake.

"Mom was ... different. If we were at a party, she was exactly like every woman there, smart, beautiful women that had made a living by marrying the right person. She knew the right designer, the latest trends, the hippest hair stylist. When we were home, she was nothing like them. I heard my friends talking about their mothers drinking, or spending time shopping, playing with the tennis instructor or the pool boy or latest flavor of the month. Mom was all about doing things together. Camping, fishing, shooting, karate, yachting, rappelling, everything you can imagine, she'd do it. Don't get me wrong, I still got the horseback riding, the tennis, the golf, which I don't care how good it is for networking, it's still the most boring sport ever, but we did so much other stuff. I thought that I was so lucky, having such a cool mom, but she was training me, wasn't she? And even now that I know, it still doesn't matter, because it was-" Robert got up and went to the window, back to his brother. He peeked through the blinds, but he wasn't interested in the view. He needed to stop the swelling emotions threatening to spill with damning tears. "It doesn't matter because she was my mother and it was a great life and he's lucky that I didn't kill him. "

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g_callen
2011-10-24 09:39 pm UTC (link)

"I'm sure she would, but I know better." Shaking his head, G regarded his brother seriously. "I will always do what's best for my family and my team, Rob. No overboard, no unnecessary dangers. Just survival."

G considered that rule for a moment and realized that was the difference. He'd never had even the family to trust. He'd been looking for someone to trust as much as his family. "I never could do that. Still can't. There's a very short list of people I'd trust with my life, an even shorter one of people I'd trust with my family's lives." Renko actually was one of those few, which was why G had partnered him with Rob in the first place. "It wasn't for me. Sex was sometimes a job, mostly just something to ease biology. Find a bar, pick a cover, back to their place and leave when it was over." Something else Sam had been teaching him...when he'd been able to. It wasn't even the sex G missed but the feel of Sam's skin against his in even the smallest ways. He returned his brother's smile. "Guess I can't complain too much, then."

Sitting back, he just listened as Robert talked about his mother. He couldn't help wondering if he'd grieved her loss yet, but he wasn't going to push down that road today. His brother was opening up and that was enough. "She probably was training you, yes. But, you're right. She was still your mother and that doesn't matter. Maybe, it even makes it more important. She made sure you were trained right, that you had the extras, that you had that good life. Frankly, she sounds like one hell of a woman. No matter how it started, she was your mother and she loved you. That's what matters."

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r_callen
2011-10-24 10:23 pm UTC (link)

Robert let G talk and that uncomfortable feelings he got around Mike when he started with questions began crawling under his skin, but this was his brother, and he would try, even if at this point, a war seemed more alluring.

He turned slowly and stared at his brother. "My mother was the only family I had; it was very easy, but if you mean work, then it's different. You're in the sky with a squadron and you have to trust that every pilot can do his job, or you're all dead. That's the type of trust I have, because I've trained with those pilots, or I've trained them. This- the talking and sharing-" He shook his head. "It's never been part of it."

Robert leaned against the wall. "Except that she trained me. I'm not completely blind. I was talking to Mike about friends, trust, talking and all the other weird things he likes to do, and I remembered starting school. I was so young, and we visited the school. When we went home, she told me about exits and where to sit and places in the classroom where I could hide. I had a small gun that they make for kids. I don't know if they are even legal anymore, but she packed that with my lunch. It was the most normal thing for me, but it doesn't really lend itself to a trusting environment, and I still want that life back. I know that we might never have it, but if I stop hoping that I can go back to who I was, then I can't do this anymore, and he doesn't get it, I can't suddenly accept this life, enjoy the moment, or whatever shit people tell themselves, because if you take away what I had, then there isn't much to see."

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g_callen
2011-10-25 06:44 am UTC (link)

"I meant the work, really." G shrugged. He wouldn't compare their childhoods. There was no point or fairness to the exercise. "It's not much different on an op. Everyone does their job and you all go home alive. I was just never able to give them that sort of trust. Closest I came before Sam was the man I still consider to be my mentor, a no-nonsense Marine with a wicked headslap when you did something stupid." G chuckled remembering those early days with Gibbs. He wondered how his old friend was doing as Director of NCIS these days. "I'd known Jethro for a long time before I ever told him about growing up in the system, not knowing our parents. Last time I saw him, he asked if I was still looking. When we get back, you'll have to meet him." G smirked. "So I can tell him I finally found what I was looking for."

Getting up, he moved closer to his brother, put a hand on his shoulder. "We're going to find our way home," he said firmly. "It may not be next week, or next month, or next year. But, we're finding a way home and when we get there, I will do everything in my power to see to it you get as much of that life back as I can possibly give. There's more to see. Maybe you can't see it now. But, it's there. It's the reason you'll try talking to me even when you don't see the point, why Renko gets under your skin, why your baby is going to have something we never got -- a real father."

What he did next, he was inclined to blame on his own need as well as not knowing what words could be said to really get the point across. So, instead of saying anymore, trying to get through to Rob with words, G pulled his brother around into a wary hug.

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r_callen
2011-10-25 04:41 pm UTC (link)

"Different type of work, though. The mechanics and principles might be the same, but the practicalities are different," Robert said, not sure that he could explain why it was natural at work, but nowhere else. "Define stupid, or they might me a lot of head slapping," he added chuckling, "and you weren't looking. You were here on vacation from real work and I fell on your lap."

Robert nodded. He might not really believe it and neither might G but it was nice to hear. "I try with you. The other two? I'm not so sure. I'll try with the baby, but what the hell do I know about being a father, even a fake one, and don't tell me love conquers all, because you have the proof that it's bull right under your roof." Sam might love his kids, but he doubted that either one would define him as a 'real father'.

He tensed when G's arm went around him; his arms stayed glued to his sides. This he had not expected. From Savannah, possibly; from Kensi, maybe; from G, never. Slowly, he made himself react, hugging G back, but keeping a mental distance, because as good as this might feel or as much as he needed comfort and touch, he was not a child, but an adult and he shouldn't rely on a hug from a man he barely knew to feel better. Not that if he'd known him longer, it would make much of a difference. "I wish I could do this better. You deserve it."

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g_callen
2011-10-25 04:42 pm UTC (link)

G laughed. "Just expect the head slaps. It's Jethro's way of showing affection to most people. I did mention the part where he's a Marine, right? He's a good man, tough as nails." Snorting, G shook his head. "I'm always looking, even here. It's just a different sort of investigative strategy, more looking for bacon as Nell might say, less field research."

The reaction wasn't what G was expecting after their previous conversations when Rob had been the one to reach out to him. He almost pulled back when his brother hesitated, but made himself commit to the gesture. The reward wasn't as effusive as Savannah, but for the awkwardness they seemed to hold between them, G counted it a win. "Oh, hell," he huffed. "We really are too much alike, aren't we?" Pulling back, he still kept one hand on Rob's shoulder, not breaking the fragile connection. "At the risk of sounding like Sam, you let me worry about what I do or don't deserve. It's probably less than you think, anyway."

Sighing, G squeezed his brother's shoulder. "Love doesn't conquer all. It eases the way, maybe, but it doesn't fix the problems. You know as much about being a father as any new father in this world. It's one of those things where on-the-job-training is the only option. But, I'll make you a deal. You try with me. I'll try with you. And, we'll both try for your child. We're in this family together, little brother, in any dimension. That I can promise you."

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r_callen
2011-10-25 07:17 pm UTC (link)

"If he's a real Marine, he won't touch an officer, at least while I'm still serving," he said, chuckling. "Rank comes handy for more than good food at the officers club." He frowned. "Should I know what bacon has to do with anything?"

He chuckled when he heard G's response to the hug. "Nature and nurture seemed to have merged when dealing with us." There was an inborn sense of distrust that their upbringing, although very different, ended up having the same effect. "I'll have to disagree. As my only family, you deserve more. I'm trying though. Best I can do." He pulled his hands away, not sure what he was supposed to do with G still touching. "You're lucky. With Sam, I mean." He didn't think that he'd ever be able to trust and love anyone like that.

Robert nodded. "I guess. Better circumstances wouldn't have made it do hard." Not that he planned to use that as an excuse. He smiled as he thought of his conversation with Kensi. "She thinks that her child will talk to her and never break the rules or lie. She'd better hope that it's not like me, because there will be a lot of trying and head banging on our parts if he or she is." He stopped for a moment, staring at G for a moment. "Thank you."

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g_callen
2011-10-25 07:18 pm UTC (link)

G snorted. "I look forward to introducing you two some day. And no, probably not. Nearest I can figure is bacon is one of her strange ways of saying 'leads'. But, I don't ask."

With a last squeeze of his brother's shoulder, G dropped his hand with a chuckle of his own and leaned his shoulder against the wall by the window. Folding his arms, he shook his head. "We're quite the pair, I guess. Your best is all anyone deserves, even your insane brother." Smiling softly, he turned to put his back to the wall, head back against it as well. "Very lucky. Sam? Sam is a gift I truly never deserved, but am grateful for every day. Maybe one day I'll even be able to tell him how much."

He couldn't help the bark of laughter at Kensi's plans. "I think we're both proof positive the Callen genes will win out. She might be out of luck." Meeting Rob's gaze steadily, G nodded. "I've got your back. Always."

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r_callen
2011-10-25 08:09 pm UTC (link)

"When we get home." Possibly sooner, rather than later, because he would still hope for that. "I have no clue what she's talking about, and I can survive without asking."

Robert nodded. "We're brothers. I guess that explains it, right, and if you're insane, I'm not much better. One day when our work is declassified, we can trade stories. You can tell me all about terrorists and I can tell you about what we really do at Area 52." He shook his head. "Even with all my money and connections, this is what I ended up doing, always passing up the chance to resign my commission for one more thrill: secret testing, classified planes, anti-terrorist base. Kensi has no chance in hell to have a normal kid."

His grin softened into a smile. "I'm sure Sam would disagree with you about deserving what you two have, but don't wait. We both know how easily things can change, tell him now... you know if you learn to talk, which we've established that I can't." He pushed himself off from the wall. "I should go. I'll see you later."

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