Tweak

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Tweak says, "Drink up me hearties, yo ho!"

Robert Callen (r_callen) wrote in omega_reality,
@ 2011-10-21 14:04:00

Entry tags:

*complete, 2011 10, character: g callen, character: robert callen

RP: Robert and G
Who: Robert and G
Where: G's Office
When: October 21, 2011
Summary: Robert wants to talk to G about a new partner

Robert let the day go by. It was much easier not to make a fuss at the start of the day. Instead, it was much cleaner to talk to G after work, then they'd have the weekend for things to smooth things over, and Monday they could hopefully go back to work with new partners. It was the perfect plan and what kept Robert going through the day, always smiling, always being helpful, always pretending that he gave a crap about all of this.

A cover! His brother talked about covers, but really this was just how people behaved all the time.

Finally, the end of the day arrived and he went to G's office. A knock and an 'enter', and he stepped inside. Robert wasn't going to waste time, his or G's, since he was sure that G would rather be home anyway. "I'll make it quick. I need you to change my partner."

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g_callen
2011-10-23 02:37 am UTC (link)

Rob's announcement was eerily similar to ones G remembered making in the past...before he simply refused to work with a partner all together. For one horrible moment, G had a flashback to six or seven years prior and could have sworn he heard Macy's voice asking what was wrong with this one and how badly had G broken this one.

"At least they can't quit here," he muttered before refocusing on the present and his brother's request. "Okay, have a seat. Before I can say yes or no, I need to know why."

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	r_callen 2011-10-23 02:40 am UTC (link)
	Robert closed the door and sat down, keeping a pleasant smile on his face. There was no reason why he couldn't be affable while asking for a new partner. "Sure, because I might kill him otherwise. Is that good enough?" he asked. "And it's not like that whole living with your partner thing is going well since I'm living with Kensi." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

g_callen
2011-10-23 04:10 am UTC (link)

"Allowances have to be made for things like pregnancy, yes." G sighed. He was going to have to rethink some things when he had the chance, maybe. He knew his ideas on this were solid, but no one else seemed willing to go with it.

"It's good enough for a start. But, you have to give me more than that if I'm going to be able to pair you two both up with the right people."

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r_callen
2011-10-23 04:15 am UTC (link)

"The smaller the homes, the more allowances you'll have to make. The more families get established, the more allowances. I've always said that this is one big social experiment and we're the guinea pigs. Couples, families, children are bound to happen. Now, you can wait for the fights, the affairs and the divorces and we've covered the entire span."

Robert shrugged. "It doesn't matter. Anyone will do." No one else would ask the questions that Mike had and no one else would talk about his family, so it really didn't matter.

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g_callen
2011-10-23 06:13 pm UTC (link)

"I am aware of that." G snorted. He didn't know about social experiments. That was just an unhappy side effect of the situation. "As long as we don't give them reason to follow through on any other kind of experiment," he huffed softly.

"It matters to me. Tell me what happened, Rob." This was really sounding too much like conversations he'd had in the past, only now he was in Macy's shoes and somewhere on the other side, if there was one, she was probably laughing her ass off at the role reversal.

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r_callen
2011-10-23 08:21 pm UTC (link)

"I think we've already given them reasons for other experiments. Three unborn reasons," he answered. It was only a matter of time before someone would wake up and decide that they needed more information.

"You have to ask him who he wants to be paired with. It makes no difference to me, so I can't really give you any criteria. Really anyone will be fine." He shook his head. "Nothing happened. Words were said, punches were thrown.... He said words, I took objection and punched him. We agree on one thing: he says I don't trust him and I say I don't trust him." He'd never trust him the way Mike expected him to, although he wouldn't trust anyone the way Mike meant. "You want us to work together, that's fine. I'm a Colonel, I've worked with plenty of people I don't trust, but I don't want to hear about any of this shit that we're responsible for each other. We do our job when we're out there, end of story. The only person I'm responsible for is Kensi until she gives birth."

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g_callen
2011-10-23 09:28 pm UTC (link)

"Don't remind me. I have difficulty thinking of much else these days." His nightmares had started including crying infants and mad scientists. But, at least he knew they were the product of his own childhood traumas when that happened.

G snorted. "Nothing happened, but punches were thrown?" Sighing, he leaned forward. "I'm not going to force anyone who can't trust each other to have to rely on each other out there. If you've tried and can't make it work, then I'll see what I can do. But, if I assign a new partner, you will be responsible for each other because that is your job here. Kensi and the baby will always come first. But, the job doesn't end when you're not out there. It's all 'out there', even while we're in here."

He raised an eyebrow, curiously. "What exactly did he say that made you forget all that stuff about being an officer you told me when Sam and Kinney got into it?"

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r_callen
2011-10-23 09:52 pm UTC (link)

"You need to remember to be prepared, right?" Robert said with a tiny smile. "I don't see you like the type to bury your head in the sand." He snorted. "I still can't believe that all three are somehow connected to this family. It'd be much easier to blame someone else for doing something this stupid." He was well aware that it was stupid.

"Then pair me with Kensi," he said, "because she is my responsibility, that baby is my responsibility, and if you think that anyone else would even come close then you are insane. I'll do anything you want, but if they attack us, she comes before anyone else. I'll try and teleport as many people as I can out of here, but Kensi goes first."

This was why talking was a problem; it came back to bit you in the ass. "He was trying to convince me that being here isn't as bad as I think by pointing out how my life sucked at home, when I said it didn't, he mentioned a fake mother and parents that didn't want me. There was more, but I stopped listening so there might have been some other point after that, but I have no clue."

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g_callen
2011-10-23 10:54 pm UTC (link)

"I try sometimes...for about five seconds," G returned with a grin before sighing. "Savannah and I actually had a long conversation about it months ago. She wanted April to run tests to see if she could conceive. I now know more than I ever thought I'd need to about fertility issues as a result of preparing for that conversation. But, I can't blame people who were being careful. And, if truth be told, I can't say I'm really sorry that you'll have this chance, despite the situation."

G shook his head. "I can't pair you with Kensi as long as you're on separate teams. I'm not saying anyone else comes close to them. I'm saying your partner comes next on the list after them, whoever your partner is."

He just stared at his brother for a long moment, though, when he recounted what had happened. He wasn't sure what surprised him most, that Renko had the gall to use their family history as a weapon in an argument or that Rob had told him in the first place. "I guess I can't blame you for that," he said finally. "If it had been me, he probably wouldn't still be breathing...and since I've seen him today, I'll assume he still is, unless this just happened?"

Pursing his lips, he debated saying anything. "Rob, about what I said before...I know you don't need me, but the offer still stands. Talking may not solve the problems, but I want to know my brother, who you are, how you think. I keep seeing these similarities between us and I wonder if I'm imagining them because I've wanted family of my own blood for so long, or if they're real and I can rely on that information to know best how to relate to you and be the kind of brother you want."

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r_callen
2011-10-24 12:07 am UTC (link)

"Five seconds? That's impressive," he said, laughing. "I'm skipping the fertility issue, but I know plenty about pregnancies. Savannah has helpfully sent links with little notes. She used pink and blue fonts to tell me about the important things that I should read. Pink font, G. I am really sorry that I even have to see that," he said, sighing.

"Put us in the same team, not that it will really matter much. She's twelve weeks. It won't be long before she won't be allowed in the field, regardless of team, at least if we go by federal rules." He snorted. "G, there's a long list of people to get out of this base prior to a partners, people like the scientists, and all the pregnant women, and the director. My brother. Or we can be paired together and I can make sure you're out right after Kensi. How does that work for you?"

Robert nodded. "He's breathing. It happened last night." Okay, and this was officially become awkward. He'd rather talk about Mike, and wasn't that ironic.

He waited a moment, trying to find the best way to say this without having a repeat of the last time. "I don't need you to be the kind of brother I want; I want you to be the brother you are. I'm not asking you to change for me. It's also not a matter of needing. I don't like talking unless it's something practical that can be solved. Like I told Mike, talking about how much life sucks doesn't make things better, it makes them worse. I believe the analogy that I used was that of a scab, you keep picking at it and you start bleeding again, that's when he started on the positive effects of talking, and didn't you tell me your people didn't like talking? Why is everyone trying to get me to talk? Now, Kensi, she's perfect, nothing more profound of whether we're having pizza or Chinese." He could deal with that just fine. "Having said all of that, if you want to know something, you can ask. I've tried to be as open as I can with you, even when it wasn't appreciated, so yeah, you want to know something, ask the question and you're likely to get an answer."

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g_callen
2011-10-24 02:24 am UTC (link)

"You should have seen the pink stationary she wrote out her college plans on," G replied with a chuckle.

"I've already considered that, actually. I'd be a lot more comfortable with the arrangements if she was back on OSP." He left the where she belongs part off. The situation had changed since he'd first assigned her and Dom to Morgan's team. "It will take longer than deciding on partners...mostly because that's how much Morgan will want to discuss the matter. I'm not saying they get a priority for getting out. I'm saying they get priority for you having their back. That the two of you work together on getting others out. And no, you're not taking me out like that. You and your partner are getting your family out and then getting the hell out yourself to take care of your family. The same as I expect Deeks and Dom to do as well."

G just nodded. Renko was breathing. That was enough for now. G would talk to him later.

"We didn't at home. I'm only trying because you're my brother and you deserve to know me. I've never actually had an important conversation with Renko that didn't involve planning an op, but I imagine he doesn't try so much with just anyone, either."

He forced himself to stay in the seat and not get up and pace the way he wanted to. Whether his brother knew it or not, having this conversation wasn't any easier for G. "That's not what I mean, though. It's not...I don't have questions, per se. But, when a person talks, the things they actually say are only part of the conversation. I don't know, maybe it's part of that pseudo-profiling thing I do as part of going undercover -- and if you ever tell Morgan I admitted to anything related to profiling as being useful, I will visit unimaginable tortures upon you. But, facial expressions, micro-expressions, gestures, the things they don't say, the tone of voice when they do say something, the things they feel important enough to bring up in a random conversation, even stupid things like book or movie references, they all are pieces of the puzzle to who someone is.

"I don't really know how to do small talk, though. Random chatter intended to push someone's buttons? Sure. Old married couple bickering and banter with Sam? Not a problem. But, a real conversation made up of nothing but small talk? Not as well. I'm always looking for the hidden meanings and even if there aren't any, then it's just plain boring. The weather is what it is without discussing it."

Heaving another sigh, he ran his hand over his head, rubbing the back of his neck. "I guess, I don't feel like much of a brother at all because I don't know what it really means. I've got this fantasy I've harbored for decades about feeling this great connection with a real family. But, how realistic is that? We didn't even know the other existed six months ago. Is it even possible to build something like that? I want to, but..." He shrugged, not capable of admitting he didn't know if Robert wanted the same things or the disappointment that would come if he didn't.

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r_callen
2011-10-24 02:55 am UTC (link)

"Don't. I mean it would be convenient now, but not really for long," he said. "She's not going to be able to work for long, and after she gives birth, we can't be in the same team or be partners, especially when that baby is born. We can't be out at the same time, G. It's not like we have nannies and maids here, so it's not going to work. I don't know how Deeks and Savannah will deal with it. Fuck, I don't know how we'll do it with our hours, but I'm guessing I won't have to worry until August or so."

Robert sighed. "I don't know why he's decided that he has to talk to me. I like the guy, I do, but I can't- The friendship, the talking, it's- this is a job, that's it. I'm doing what needs to be done, but I'm not-" He bit the inside of his lip, trying to figure out what he was saying.

"I can chitchat, G. I can talk for hours about everything and anything, always having the right response, the right facial expression, and no profiling will matter, because I've spent my life learning how to do that. It's- My mom brought me up making sure that I could do just that," he said. "What you're asking me to do? I don't know how to do that even less than you. At least you know how to do that trusting thing, with Sam, Savannah. I've only had my mother, and that was different. She was my mother, you know? It doesn't matter that she wasn't biologically my mother, but I didn't know any different."

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g_callen
2011-10-24 04:48 pm UTC (link)

"Let me worry about the work aspects, hm?" G gave his brother a tiny smile. "It's an idea, one I haven't decided for or against and not a decision I can make on my own seeing as it affects Morgan and his team as well. Really, with all the changes going on around here, I'm thinking we may need to try something new...again. So, we'll have another conversation in which he teases about people thinking we're married and we'll figure things out. For all we know, by August we'll be somewhere completely different."

G just let his brother talk, about Renko, about talking, about his mother. He thought he could guess why Renko bothered. "It's job and you can't get too close to anyone because that's when you lose?" he ventured. "Except you let him see something real and he liked what he saw enough to want to see more."

He didn't think he had to mention the part where that reality probably scared the hell out of his brother.

"Trust me, I know the profiling doesn't work with you," he teased gently. "Baby steps. That's what Sam tells me. Usually it means he gets a few words, a lot of jokes, and then, eventually, part of the story. Savannah...it's not the same. There are huge chunks of my life I won't ever talk to her about. She doesn't need to know. The talking with her isn't so much about trust as...well, I don't really know. It's trust, but it's different. Before she and Deeks got together, she told me about how trust was so integral to sex. I thought she was nuts. Sex was just, well, a job, really. But, how she felt about that was how I felt, and still feel really, about talking of this sort. It takes time. I'm still working on it, even with Sam, and I'm not really the most patient. But, I want to try for you."

Smiling softly, he switched gears. "Tell me about her, your mother."

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r_callen
2011-10-24 05:40 pm UTC (link)

"I am, but don't go overboard for me, not when she won't be able to be in the field anyway pretty soon. Besides, if you leave it up to her, she'd want to be out there until the day she gives birth, so don't put her in a situation where she can be. There are enough dangers without adding to it," he pointed out.

This entire discussion was making him twitch. Uncomfortable wasn't a strong enough word to describe how he was feeling as G went on. "No, it's life and you can't trust anyone but family." How many times had his mother told him that? Was she preparing to meet his family eventually? "You can still do the job without trusting people with the personal things, because trust means different things. I can trust someone with my life, have to in the Air Force, but I don't have to share what I think. Same with this job." He chuckled. "I wouldn't go so far. Sex is fun, sex can be a necessity if you need an heir, sex can be a game, but it's never been a job." Robert cracked a smile. "I tell you more in a meeting than everyone else combined in a month." He might have said more to Mike and that had proven to be a mistake.

"Mom was ... different. If we were at a party, she was exactly like every woman there, smart, beautiful women that had made a living by marrying the right person. She knew the right designer, the latest trends, the hippest hair stylist. When we were home, she was nothing like them. I heard my friends talking about their mothers drinking, or spending time shopping, playing with the tennis instructor or the pool boy or latest flavor of the month. Mom was all about doing things together. Camping, fishing, shooting, karate, yachting, rappelling, everything you can imagine, she'd do it. Don't get me wrong, I still got the horseback riding, the tennis, the golf, which I don't care how good it is for networking, it's still the most boring sport ever, but we did so much other stuff. I thought that I was so lucky, having such a cool mom, but she was training me, wasn't she? And even now that I know, it still doesn't matter, because it was-" Robert got up and went to the window, back to his brother. He peeked through the blinds, but he wasn't interested in the view. He needed to stop the swelling emotions threatening to spill with damning tears. "It doesn't matter because she was my mother and it was a great life and he's lucky that I didn't kill him. "

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g_callen
2011-10-24 09:39 pm UTC (link)

"I'm sure she would, but I know better." Shaking his head, G regarded his brother seriously. "I will always do what's best for my family and my team, Rob. No overboard, no unnecessary dangers. Just survival."

G considered that rule for a moment and realized that was the difference. He'd never had even the family to trust. He'd been looking for someone to trust as much as his family. "I never could do that. Still can't. There's a very short list of people I'd trust with my life, an even shorter one of people I'd trust with my family's lives." Renko actually was one of those few, which was why G had partnered him with Rob in the first place. "It wasn't for me. Sex was sometimes a job, mostly just something to ease biology. Find a bar, pick a cover, back to their place and leave when it was over." Something else Sam had been teaching him...when he'd been able to. It wasn't even the sex G missed but the feel of Sam's skin against his in even the smallest ways. He returned his brother's smile. "Guess I can't complain too much, then."

Sitting back, he just listened as Robert talked about his mother. He couldn't help wondering if he'd grieved her loss yet, but he wasn't going to push down that road today. His brother was opening up and that was enough. "She probably was training you, yes. But, you're right. She was still your mother and that doesn't matter. Maybe, it even makes it more important. She made sure you were trained right, that you had the extras, that you had that good life. Frankly, she sounds like one hell of a woman. No matter how it started, she was your mother and she loved you. That's what matters."

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r_callen
2011-10-24 10:23 pm UTC (link)

Robert let G talk and that uncomfortable feelings he got around Mike when he started with questions began crawling under his skin, but this was his brother, and he would try, even if at this point, a war seemed more alluring.

He turned slowly and stared at his brother. "My mother was the only family I had; it was very easy, but if you mean work, then it's different. You're in the sky with a squadron and you have to trust that every pilot can do his job, or you're all dead. That's the type of trust I have, because I've trained with those pilots, or I've trained them. This- the talking and sharing-" He shook his head. "It's never been part of it."

Robert leaned against the wall. "Except that she trained me. I'm not completely blind. I was talking to Mike about friends, trust, talking and all the other weird things he likes to do, and I remembered starting school. I was so young, and we visited the school. When we went home, she told me about exits and where to sit and places in the classroom where I could hide. I had a small gun that they make for kids. I don't know if they are even legal anymore, but she packed that with my lunch. It was the most normal thing for me, but it doesn't really lend itself to a trusting environment, and I still want that life back. I know that we might never have it, but if I stop hoping that I can go back to who I was, then I can't do this anymore, and he doesn't get it, I can't suddenly accept this life, enjoy the moment, or whatever shit people tell themselves, because if you take away what I had, then there isn't much to see."

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g_callen
2011-10-25 06:44 am UTC (link)

"I meant the work, really." G shrugged. He wouldn't compare their childhoods. There was no point or fairness to the exercise. "It's not much different on an op. Everyone does their job and you all go home alive. I was just never able to give them that sort of trust. Closest I came before Sam was the man I still consider to be my mentor, a no-nonsense Marine with a wicked headslap when you did something stupid." G chuckled remembering those early days with Gibbs. He wondered how his old friend was doing as Director of NCIS these days. "I'd known Jethro for a long time before I ever told him about growing up in the system, not knowing our parents. Last time I saw him, he asked if I was still looking. When we get back, you'll have to meet him." G smirked. "So I can tell him I finally found what I was looking for."

Getting up, he moved closer to his brother, put a hand on his shoulder. "We're going to find our way home," he said firmly. "It may not be next week, or next month, or next year. But, we're finding a way home and when we get there, I will do everything in my power to see to it you get as much of that life back as I can possibly give. There's more to see. Maybe you can't see it now. But, it's there. It's the reason you'll try talking to me even when you don't see the point, why Renko gets under your skin, why your baby is going to have something we never got -- a real father."

What he did next, he was inclined to blame on his own need as well as not knowing what words could be said to really get the point across. So, instead of saying anymore, trying to get through to Rob with words, G pulled his brother around into a wary hug.

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r_callen
2011-10-25 04:41 pm UTC (link)

"Different type of work, though. The mechanics and principles might be the same, but the practicalities are different," Robert said, not sure that he could explain why it was natural at work, but nowhere else. "Define stupid, or they might me a lot of head slapping," he added chuckling, "and you weren't looking. You were here on vacation from real work and I fell on your lap."

Robert nodded. He might not really believe it and neither might G but it was nice to hear. "I try with you. The other two? I'm not so sure. I'll try with the baby, but what the hell do I know about being a father, even a fake one, and don't tell me love conquers all, because you have the proof that it's bull right under your roof." Sam might love his kids, but he doubted that either one would define him as a 'real father'.

He tensed when G's arm went around him; his arms stayed glued to his sides. This he had not expected. From Savannah, possibly; from Kensi, maybe; from G, never. Slowly, he made himself react, hugging G back, but keeping a mental distance, because as good as this might feel or as much as he needed comfort and touch, he was not a child, but an adult and he shouldn't rely on a hug from a man he barely knew to feel better. Not that if he'd known him longer, it would make much of a difference. "I wish I could do this better. You deserve it."

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g_callen
2011-10-25 04:42 pm UTC (link)

G laughed. "Just expect the head slaps. It's Jethro's way of showing affection to most people. I did mention the part where he's a Marine, right? He's a good man, tough as nails." Snorting, G shook his head. "I'm always looking, even here. It's just a different sort of investigative strategy, more looking for bacon as Nell might say, less field research."

The reaction wasn't what G was expecting after their previous conversations when Rob had been the one to reach out to him. He almost pulled back when his brother hesitated, but made himself commit to the gesture. The reward wasn't as effusive as Savannah, but for the awkwardness they seemed to hold between them, G counted it a win. "Oh, hell," he huffed. "We really are too much alike, aren't we?" Pulling back, he still kept one hand on Rob's shoulder, not breaking the fragile connection. "At the risk of sounding like Sam, you let me worry about what I do or don't deserve. It's probably less than you think, anyway."

Sighing, G squeezed his brother's shoulder. "Love doesn't conquer all. It eases the way, maybe, but it doesn't fix the problems. You know as much about being a father as any new father in this world. It's one of those things where on-the-job-training is the only option. But, I'll make you a deal. You try with me. I'll try with you. And, we'll both try for your child. We're in this family together, little brother, in any dimension. That I can promise you."

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r_callen
2011-10-25 07:17 pm UTC (link)

"If he's a real Marine, he won't touch an officer, at least while I'm still serving," he said, chuckling. "Rank comes handy for more than good food at the officers club." He frowned. "Should I know what bacon has to do with anything?"

He chuckled when he heard G's response to the hug. "Nature and nurture seemed to have merged when dealing with us." There was an inborn sense of distrust that their upbringing, although very different, ended up having the same effect. "I'll have to disagree. As my only family, you deserve more. I'm trying though. Best I can do." He pulled his hands away, not sure what he was supposed to do with G still touching. "You're lucky. With Sam, I mean." He didn't think that he'd ever be able to trust and love anyone like that.

Robert nodded. "I guess. Better circumstances wouldn't have made it do hard." Not that he planned to use that as an excuse. He smiled as he thought of his conversation with Kensi. "She thinks that her child will talk to her and never break the rules or lie. She'd better hope that it's not like me, because there will be a lot of trying and head banging on our parts if he or she is." He stopped for a moment, staring at G for a moment. "Thank you."

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g_callen
2011-10-25 07:18 pm UTC (link)

G snorted. "I look forward to introducing you two some day. And no, probably not. Nearest I can figure is bacon is one of her strange ways of saying 'leads'. But, I don't ask."

With a last squeeze of his brother's shoulder, G dropped his hand with a chuckle of his own and leaned his shoulder against the wall by the window. Folding his arms, he shook his head. "We're quite the pair, I guess. Your best is all anyone deserves, even your insane brother." Smiling softly, he turned to put his back to the wall, head back against it as well. "Very lucky. Sam? Sam is a gift I truly never deserved, but am grateful for every day. Maybe one day I'll even be able to tell him how much."

He couldn't help the bark of laughter at Kensi's plans. "I think we're both proof positive the Callen genes will win out. She might be out of luck." Meeting Rob's gaze steadily, G nodded. "I've got your back. Always."

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r_callen
2011-10-25 08:09 pm UTC (link)

"When we get home." Possibly sooner, rather than later, because he would still hope for that. "I have no clue what she's talking about, and I can survive without asking."

Robert nodded. "We're brothers. I guess that explains it, right, and if you're insane, I'm not much better. One day when our work is declassified, we can trade stories. You can tell me all about terrorists and I can tell you about what we really do at Area 52." He shook his head. "Even with all my money and connections, this is what I ended up doing, always passing up the chance to resign my commission for one more thrill: secret testing, classified planes, anti-terrorist base. Kensi has no chance in hell to have a normal kid."

His grin softened into a smile. "I'm sure Sam would disagree with you about deserving what you two have, but don't wait. We both know how easily things can change, tell him now... you know if you learn to talk, which we've established that I can't." He pushed himself off from the wall. "I should go. I'll see you later."

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