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Erato ([info]passionburning) wrote in [info]nevermore_logs,
@ 2021-05-25 23:21:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood: good
Entry tags:erato, melpomene

WHO Erato and Melpomene
WHEN the day of Clio’s rescue
WHERE Melpomene’s apartment
WHAT sisters catching up
WARNINGS talk of past badness



Erato was up atrociously early this morning, which was none of her doing. Calliope had called her (and called her and called her) and somehow she’d been talked into getting up, dressed, and leaving her apartment to buy bearclaws and coffee and ride her bike over to Melpomene’s.

It was quite nice out, actually. The news of Clio had lightened her heart tremendously, and she was able to focus on the city in the morning, and enjoy the way the warm air flowed past her and played with her hair. Poor Melpomene, she was still so troubled, and Erato felt a little bad that she hadn’t pulled her weight, letting Urania and Thalia carry the load. Well, today she was doing the duty that Calliope had bullied her into, and she was going to pass on the message about Clio, and check that Melpomene was still in one piece.

“Hello?” she called, knocking on the door. There was a growl from the other side, and she took half a step back in concern. “Melpomene? It’s Erato, can I come in?”



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[info]somethingtragic
2021-05-25 11:55 am UTC (link)
Though the Muses had been spending much of their days together at Urania's, Melpomene never stayed there overnight. She couldn't do it, not only because it was impractical with Telos, but because the echoes of hopelessness at Urania's hurt too much. Being there reminded her too deeply of the time she'd spent there, the loss of Telos brutally hollowing her out.

Not that spending time in her own apartment was any less brutalising, but at least Telos' room was safe. Melpomene retreated back there every night, like she was slinking back into a cave.

Her dreams were bad, and often she woke up with fear clinging to her. Every time Telos pulled her from sleep she felt a sense of warning, a deep dread. Was today going to be the day things got worse? Would Clio be found, dead in Martin's prison? Would she open her eyes to find Telos' crib empty again? Would another sister be attacked and taken - if Martin found out about one Muse, if Clio was withholding her inspiration, would he move onto another? Would it be some other danger - the Sheriff returning to retip the scales in his favor by taking Alan? Fear never left her alone for long.

Every time she opened her eyes from a dream, Telos was still in his crib, and with an edge of desperation that also never left her for long, she'd crawl from her bed in his room and hold him, and his safety would save her, till next time she fell asleep.

She didn't look at her phone on Monday morning. If the world was on fire there was nothing she could do; Telos needed breakfast. She was feeding in bed in his room, half asleep herself, when Erato knocked on the door and Nikkos peeled his lips back off those dangerous teeth and growled. Melpomene groaned and slowly, so as not to disturb Telos, set her feet on the floor and hauled herself up.

"It's okay Nikkos. Back. Sit," she said, pushing the chain off her door with her nose, then leaning on the handle to open it and let Erato (and coffee) in. "Hi," she said to Erato, flatly, and Nikkos backed off a little, but kept his eyes solidly on Erato as she entered. And the bakery bags in her hand, though he was too well trained to lunge.

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[info]passionburning
2021-05-25 12:20 pm UTC (link)
Erato gave Melpomene her best smile, and held up the bag. "I brought breakfast," she said cheerfully, her eyes drawn first to the feeding baby, and then the dog. "Oh my goodness, hello baby!" she said to the dog. "When did you get a dog? What a beautiful pupper, oh my gosh!"

She went to the table to set down the coffee cups, baked goods, and her handbag, then turned back to Melpomene to look her over. Somehow her sister seemed kind of grey and wan, lacking much luster. Erato shook her head and put her hands on her hips. "Oh honey. When did you last have a shower?"

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[info]somethingtragic
2021-05-25 12:31 pm UTC (link)
"I don't know, when did Clio?" Melpomene replied, looking at the coffee cups on the table and feeling increasingly uncomfortable. She hadn't eaten at that table in weeks, not since Tragos died a stone's throw from it. With a gesture of her head she invited Erato back toward Telos' room, though it was perhaps less of an invitation and more of a message that said I'm going there, you can follow if you want.

"The dog belongs to Ares," she said, as she sat back on the rumpled bed, tugging a pillow under her arm so she didn't have to hold up Telos' growing weight on her own. "His name is Nikkos."

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[info]passionburning
2021-05-25 12:45 pm UTC (link)
"Oh," Erato said, giving the animal a little more space now that she knew from whence it came. Ares' dogs weren't friendly beasts. "Why do you have one of Ares' hounds in your home?" She gathered up the coffee and bag again with a very slight sigh, and followed Melpomene.

"Oh, have you checked your messages this morning? Calliope has been trying to call you," she said, setting the cup for Melpomene on her bedside table, and perching on the edge of the bed herself. The dog had followed them and was lying on the floor, panting a little as it watched them. "Apollo rescued Clio. She's out and safe, and that worthless little weevil who took her is dead." She sipped her coffee and leaned back on one arm.

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[info]somethingtragic
2021-05-25 12:55 pm UTC (link)
Gods bless her, but sometimes Erato just asked the silliest questions. "To guard his son," she answered, watching Erato settle and then spill the news of Clio's rescue like she was speaking of the weather. Melpomene blinked at her slowly, and felt something tense inside her unspool. Apollo rescued Clio. She'd started to think Apollo had no chance of finding anyone.

If anyone had asked her, Melpomene would have blasphemously said she was putting her hopes on Will Stutely as Clio's hero.

"I hadn't checked," Melpomene said, casting her eyes over to her phone on the dresser, where it was upside down and, now that she was looking at it, not plugged in at all. "How much did he hurt her?"

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[info]passionburning
2021-05-25 01:15 pm UTC (link)
"I'm not sure of the details..." Erato worried at the corner of her lip as she pulled out her phone and found the message from Apollo. "Um. Apollo said... she's in hospital, and the cretin burned to death. And that Calliope should visit, because Clio will be wanting a woman close."

Oh. She hadn't read before because she'd been traveling. The bottom fell out of her stomach as she realised the implications of that need, and she closed her eyes for a minute. None of them were free from the unwelcome touch of men. Erato knew what it was like, as much as Melpomene did. Men took what they wanted, when they wanted it, and she could very vividly imagine exactly what Clio had gone through. "Sorry," she said, her voice low. "I didn't think... I should've realised that she..."

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[info]somethingtragic
2021-05-25 01:28 pm UTC (link)
"I knew," Melpomene said, shifting a little further back into the pillows, searching for the hard press of the bedhead against her back like a shield. "I mean... it isn't a surprise, is it. I imagined. Remembered." She let her eyes fall down on Telos, gripping her open shirt with the tightest of fists, and she stroked his dark, soft hair with a careful thumb. "But Apollo found her," she said quietly, trying to focus on that. On hope. She wasn't very good at hope, but she tried, if only to stop Erato's face falling into that pretty distress that happened when Melpomene said something too dark to deal with. "She's not dead. We'll take what we can get."

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[info]passionburning
2021-05-25 02:55 pm UTC (link)
No, it wasn't a surprise. It was pretty much inevitable, really. But it still twisted inside with a rotten bitterness. Erato remembered too, remembered the grasping hands and bare mattresses, and once again pushed the memories away.

"Yes. Apollo saved her." It did give her hope and relief that her Musagetes had stepped up. She knew Ares had got Melpomene's baby back in the end, but Apollo had been helping too. He'd been on the trail. And he's been on Clio's trail too, and now look. "She'll be alright, she has so many friends to help her."

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[info]somethingtragic
2021-05-25 08:04 pm UTC (link)
Yes, Clio's list of friends was long and powerful, loyal and true. "She has her Will Stutely," Melpomene murmured, and though her voice was still flat, it couldn't disguise the stab of envy she felt. When Clio woke up, scared in the dark, she wouldn't be waking up alone.

Envy and gratitude, both at once, both as strong as each other and neither good at co-existence. The envy sought to corrupt the gratitude and the gratitude sought to turn the envy into guilt. Melpomene closed her eyes, and let the pillow support Telos' weight while she reached for the coffee Erato had given her. There was nothing she could do about such emotions apart from feel them try to rip her in two, might as well have some coffee to keep her fluids up, for the sake of Telos.

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[info]passionburning
2021-05-25 08:57 pm UTC (link)
Erato lifted her eyes to Melpomene, forgetting her own sorrow. Her poor dear sister was still suffering her heartbreak, still tasting the bitterness of loss as others had the sweetness of love.

She kicked off her shoes and crawled up the bed to settle next to Melpomene. She could feel the heartache coming from her so clearly now that she was listening for it. Very gently, she rested her head on Melpomene's shoulder and curled again her side, holding her coffee cup clear.

"You have people who love you too," she murmured, knowing full well that it didn't make the absence of Alan any easier. "I love you so much."

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[info]somethingtragic
2021-05-25 10:31 pm UTC (link)
Erato's softness threatened to crumble her, and Melpomene stiffened in reaction to it. She held her tongue tightly, lest she say something sharp about how it wasn't enough - she wanted more, and knew full well how impossible what she wanted was.

Erato wasn't to blame for any of Melpomene's burned bridges. Erato loved her. Melpomene had to find a way to stop wanting more. Melpomene had no idea how to do that. "I'm very lucky you love so easily," she said in the end. "Thank you, Erato. I love you too."

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[info]passionburning
2021-05-26 04:09 am UTC (link)
"Too easily," Erato sighed softly. She looked down at the baby, sleepily feeding, his little eyes drifting shut, and reached out to gently stroke the top of his head. She did like babies, she thought they were very cute, but she had too much romantic love inside her for much room for maternal love. She didn't quite fully comprehend it.

"This little one will be a handful," she said softly, with a slight smile. "You are so blessed to have him back."

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[info]somethingtragic
2021-05-26 05:27 am UTC (link)
"Yes," Melpomene said, utterly unable to summon the same smile because his loss was still so close, the fear of it happening again (irrational? Urania certainly would have said so) still too fresh. "Yes, the debt I owe to Ares is... unparalleled. I don't think there's anything I could do to ever pay it back. What means as much to him as Telos means to me? There's nothing. I'll owe him forever."

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[info]passionburning
2021-05-26 10:58 am UTC (link)
"I don't know. He's pretty fond of himself." Erato watched as Telos looked like he was finally asleep, but then suddenly started awake and started feeding furiously for thirty seconds before drifting off again.

Turning her eyes back up to Melpomene, she watched her sister's face in loving concern. Melpomene seemed drawn and sad, and Erato could feel the heartache radiating off her. "I'm sorry for your loss," she said, putting an arm across Melpomene's shoulders. "I'm sorry I haven't been here for you sooner."

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[info]somethingtragic
2021-05-26 12:34 pm UTC (link)
Melpomene didn't know what to say to that. Whether to tell Erato it wouldn't have made any difference to her suffering if she had been offering support earlier, or whether she was just so grateful for any scrap of kindness right now. With a heavy sigh she tilted her head to one side, and rested it lightly against Erato's. "There've been times I wouldn't have accepted your support very gracefully," she admitted.

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[info]passionburning
2021-05-26 10:01 pm UTC (link)
"Yes. I've heard." Erato smirked a little, remembering the recounting from her sisters about Melpomene's behaviour. The gossip tree between the Muses was very short and very healthy. Maybe especially Erato's branch of it but she just loved to tell an interesting story, she couldn't be held accountable for that! Even so, Erato liked that Melpomene was softening up, despite how troubled she still was.

"Do you want to talk about him?" she asked, glancing upwards.

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[info]somethingtragic
2021-05-27 12:49 am UTC (link)
Ares? No... What? "Who?" Melpomene asked, struggling to understand what Erato was asking, and which loss, exactly, she'd meant. The loss of Telos? Of Tragos?

No one meant Tragos. No one but Qebhet had been sorry for his loss. Melpomene didn't know what her sisters thought about him; there seemed to be a thick silence around his name, around everything that had happened. Did they all dismiss him as someone as worthy of death as Martin? Maybe one day one of them might say, maybe one day Melpomene might ask, but she didn't believe anyone else would understand. Or would even want to try.

Melpomene looked over at Erato, feeling very slow as her mind turned. Of course Erato wasn't asking about Tragos. She was Erato, of course she was concerned with a different kind of loss. "Oh, you mean Alan," she said, and even saying his name softened her voice, and made it ache.

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[info]passionburning
2021-05-27 01:38 am UTC (link)
"The one your heart aches over," Erato said. Of course, Alan. Erato had taken her own flare of passion over him and folded it up and stuffed it down deep. Occasionally she took it out to sigh over the pain of it, because sometimes it felt good to feel that fire, but she didn't wish to upset Melpomene, and she'd felt Alan's heartache too. It would amount to nothing, and she had become content with that.

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[info]somethingtragic
2021-05-27 09:44 am UTC (link)
When it came to Alan, Melpomene struggled with words. The last time she'd seen him, when he'd come to say goodbye forever in the hours after Telos' birth, words had failed them both, and the final moments of their togetherness had bled out in silence.

She struggled, still, but Erato was her sister, perhaps the sister who understood heartache above all the others. Beyond that, she was a Muse, and her warm presence at Melpomene's shoulder was a gentle encouragement to reach into that turbulent storm of emotion inside her and find the words to begin.

"Do you remember what Urania said, after we broke up?" Melpomene said, beginning with another Muse's words, her face turned away from Erato, turned down. Telos had completely relaxed into sleep, milk drunk and floppy, and she carefully pulled her shirt back over her breast and rearranged him in her arms. "That Alan and I had an insurmountable incompatibility? I wouldn't tear myself away from Musagetes and so he tore himself away from me, and since then the world has not stopped ripping. My heart doesn't just ache, Erato, it's torn in two. Every aspect of my life, of me, is torn in two, and it's irreconcilable."

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[info]passionburning
2021-05-27 02:12 pm UTC (link)
Erato pulled a sympathetic face. "To weep is to make less the depth of grief," she murmured. She understood that feeling of being torn in two after a heartbreak, of losing that happy, in love part of herself that felt like it could be this way forever. It had been months since the initial breakup too. Too have loved so deeply made the loss that much more painful.

Irreconcilable differences. That was what the divorce papers always say. That's what always tears couples apart, in the end.

"Cal would say that he is gone, and you have wasted enough time and emotion on him. Terpsi would invite you to dance it out. Thalia, I am sure, is trying her best to cheer you up." Erato reached out to touch Telos' little clenched fist. "I say that this pain is part of living. It wasn't love if the heartbreak doesn't just about kill you."

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[info]somethingtragic
2021-05-27 02:50 pm UTC (link)
Melpomene didn't mind Thalia's attempts to cheer her up, or Terpsi's invitations, though Calliope's logic felt too hard and cold, and made her feel snappish and spikey. For once, Melpomene agreed with Erato's own words exactly, and her laugh acknowledging this was both light as breath, and deeply, heavily bitter. "Yes" she croaked. "We're agreed on that."

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[info]passionburning
2021-05-28 12:17 pm UTC (link)
Erato sighed deeply. "I envy you," she said, adjusting her position a little. "But I would have made the same choice. I could no more disavow our Musagetes than I could cut off my own head. But I already have to share him with all of you, and all of the world. He is not my own love." What she needed was a true artist to really, honestly, truly inspire. A Shakespeare, a Browning, a Shelley, someone possessed with genius and drive and love. But she had found none, not for a long time. Maybe she was out of practice.

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[info]somethingtragic
2021-05-28 12:47 pm UTC (link)
"You envy me?" Melpomene said, so shocked by this it took a long few seconds of incredulous staring to begin to get her head around this idea, and the rest of Erato's words sounded little more than white noise. "I lost him, and then I destroyed any chance I ever had of reaching across that divide toward him again, and you envy me?"

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[info]passionburning
2021-05-28 12:52 pm UTC (link)
"But you had him to begin with." Erato fiddled with a lock of hair, twisting it around her fingers. "That is what I envy. Not the... bridge bombing you did after." She shrugged. Melpomene did have a way of compelling respect sometimes. She also had one of Ares' prize dogs in her bedroom.

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[info]somethingtragic
2021-05-28 11:57 pm UTC (link)
But they were tied so tightly together, the love and the loss! There was no way to separate them! How could Erato feel envy for the love she'd felt without being overwhelmed by the loss, too...?

Because it was Erato she was talking to, Melpomene realised. Because Erato could separate these things, and see the good, without the agony. Because Erato could look at the world and see only beauty and love. Maybe Melpomene should envy her, to see the world in this way.

"You're being an idiot," Melpomene's voice sounded wretched, scraped over hot coals, and unkind in her hurt. "When you find love, it won't end this way. When you find love it will be strong enough to overcome all obstacles, like Will Stutely's for Clio. Don't envy the love I had, which wasn't."

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[info]passionburning
2021-05-29 08:27 am UTC (link)
Erato's lips pursed a little in annoyance at being called an idiot. It wasn't the first time, and it wouldn't be the last, that she was assumed to be foolish because she was optimistic and romantic. She knew she was intelligent. Melpomene was being obtuse.

"Clio's love takes nothing from yours. You had a powerful love, but you made a choice, and it ended. That doesn't mean it is worth less than anyone else's. It is worth everything." She sat up, pulling away from the cosy embrace to look down at Melpomene with a small frown. "You are being bitter and jealous. I might be an idiot but at least I appreciate the beauty of what it was. Does a red rose bloom forever? No, but we do not crush other roses out of sorrow for the one that is blown. And it is all the more perfect for the fact that it does not last. The sweet ache of memory makes you appreciate it all the more."

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[info]somethingtragic
2021-05-29 08:55 am UTC (link)
Shut up! Melpomene had to hold her jaws together to stop herself snapping at Erato. The truth of it hurt like a lash; yes, she'd made a choice. Yes, she was bitter and jealous.

But - the sweet ache? Erato could only see the world from her point of view. Nothing about Melpomene's aches were sweet. If she wasn't currently holding a sleeping baby, she may well have lashed out at Erato instead of just scowling. "Forgive me if I can't see the beauty of what was," she muttered (bitterly). "I'm a little too distracted by surviving the brutal present to look fondly back on the past, just now."

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[info]passionburning
2021-05-29 10:30 am UTC (link)
"Then what do you need to survive?" Erato cocked her head at Melpomene, watching her, a little birdlike. "Does holding on to Alan help you survive? What do you need, right now?"

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[info]somethingtragic
2021-05-29 11:02 am UTC (link)
The question caught her so off guard, all she could do for a few long, confused moments was stare up at her sister. "I - I don't know," she stammered under Erato's surprisingly sudden intensity, and dropped her eyes back to Telos again, one of his eyes half open in his sleep. "I just - need Telos to be safe, need Telos and I to be together - I can't think out any further than that." She managed to lift her eyes to Erato again, as her hands closed a little tighter around her son. "I don't know if holding onto Alan helps - but - I just know that holding onto him while I was in labour was the last place I felt anything close to safe."

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[info]passionburning
2021-05-29 11:14 am UTC (link)
Erato softened in sympathy, her shoulders lowering as she relaxed. Their disagreements could often be like this: a flash of passion, and just as quickly passed by. "He is safe. You are safe. The boy who wronged you is gone," she said gently. She wished she could find the right words to help Melpomene let go of her broken heart and move towards healing. "You have Ares' protection, and Apollo's, and Kratos, and Bia- and mine, for what's it's worth." She reached out to smooth Melpomene's hair back off her face fondly. "I know I'm not much of a mother, but I can be a pretty good sister."

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[info]somethingtragic
2021-05-29 12:20 pm UTC (link)
One of the boys isn't gone Melpomene thought to herself with a sudden twist of fear, but turned her eyes toward Nikkos, his muscular body lying halfway across the door. Yes, her list of protectors was long, but none of them had calmed the fear in her heart the way Alan had.

If she'd still been with Alan, would Tragos had seen fit to take Telos away?

It was an utterly pointless thought. Melpomene closed her eyes and leaned her head against Erato's hand, managing a weak smile at the gesture of comfort and trying to ignore how greasy her hair felt. "You can be," she agreed. "And it's alright, no one's going to be asking you to be a mother."

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[info]passionburning
2021-05-29 12:46 pm UTC (link)
Erato gave Melpomene a look. "Well. Maybe I can ask if you will let me be an aunt, and carry your darling child while you have a shower? I'm sure you will feel much better after. I will be right here, drinking my cold coffee and eating my bearclaw, and not getting a single crumb on his little head." She didn't try to lift Telos yet, waiting for Melpomene's permission before touching him. She didn't want to spook her sister or trigger any distrust.

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[info]somethingtragic
2021-06-02 08:28 am UTC (link)
Melpomene didn't reply right away, though Erato wasn't wrong, she would feel better after a shower. Or, cleaner, at least. Maybe less feral. But that didn't make the decision any easier. "Did you lock the front door when you came in?" she asked cautiously.

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[info]passionburning
2021-06-02 11:10 am UTC (link)
"Uh, I think so. I didn't turn any keys, I just shut it." Erato was sure she saw a deadlock on the door, didn't she? Now she was doubting herself. "Hang on, I'll check."

A quick dash to the door and back, and she was nodding to her sister. "Yes. It is locked. I promise I won't even leave the room."

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[info]somethingtragic
2021-06-02 12:12 pm UTC (link)
That circumvented Melpomene's next request - to ask that Erato stay in the room. She didn't want to come out of the shower and find Erato walking Telos all over her apartment. There was nothing out in her living room to distinguish the place where Tragos had died, but it was a place Melpomene rarely approached. She avoided the living room and the kitchen at all, if she could, and her own bedroom; she'd only gone in there a few times, because she wasn't going to fuck Kratos in Telos' room.

She didn't want to see Erato walking over the spot where he'd died, was all. And she didn't want to explain any of it. So Erato volunteering to stay in Telos' room, that helped immensely. "Okay," she said, and nodded for Erato to come closer and take her son. "I'll be quick, I promise."

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[info]passionburning
2021-06-02 12:29 pm UTC (link)
"Take as long as you want. I want a proper cuddle." Erato gently took the baby in her arms, and carefully settled herself on the bed with her coffee and her pastry and her phone. "There. Perfectly comfortable. No rush." She gave Melpomene a sweet smile and kissed the top of Telos' head, content to sit here for a while with the sleeping baby.

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