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Marcella Bellini ([info]born_greater) wrote in [info]nevermore_logs,
@ 2020-08-29 00:05:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:erica lowsley, marcella bellini, much the miller's son

WHO Marcella, Much, Erica
WHEN Friday night
WHERE Diogenes Club
WHAT information dump
WARNINGS none



Marcie headed out to Diogenes straight after finishing work. Her hours were long currently, as John was catching up on his cases and required overtime to get things done, and she had been too tired to go and find Much. But tonight was Friday, she could sleep in in the morning, and Malcolm might not ask where she had been.

Being around John again was not the same as it had been before. The man was tanned and relaxed after his holiday, ready to swan in and bark orders and be the boss again, but Marcie felt less like being the snooty bitch she’d been before. Instead she went with aloof, not really saying much to anyone beyond the polite or perfunctory.

And Malcolm. She couldn’t forget the words she’d heard, the warnings impressed upon her, and it made her a little wary, although she tried not to make it noticeable. She knew Malcolm was sharp, though. She knew she couldn’t smooth things over forever. That’s why she’d decided to end things soon, as soon as she could arrange it. She had already drafted a resignation letter, and made sure she had enough money in her accounts to survive for a couple of months. She just didn’t intend to leave empty-handed. Anything that might be useful, that she could use as leverage, she would try to make a copy of.

For now, though, she was going to have a drink and maybe chat to Much a little and unwind before going back to Malcolm’s place. It was still early enough that the place wasn’t full, which she was glad about because it gave her a moment to speak to Much before he got dragged away by customers.


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[info]born_greater
2020-08-30 07:45 am UTC (link)
"Oh- Yeah, I did speak with her about that, she said she'd talk to people. Yes, thank you, hi, you can call me Marcie." She smiled and nodded, curious about Erica now that she knew. Erica certainly looked like a normal human- but then, they all kinda did. "Do you mind me asking which one? You're not Ares as well, are you?"

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[info]lockbreaker
2020-08-30 07:50 am UTC (link)
Erica took in Much's movements and appearance, casually and quickly, and noted that he was clearly interested in this conversation - was it curiosity or a desire to protect Marcie? Maybe it was a little of both. "How about you surprise me," she said to Much's drink offer.

Then she turned her attention back to Marcie and shook her head. "No, not Ares," she told Marcie, "Although I know him well enough." And thank god that she was not his child. Being raised by Ares would have traumatized a child far more than her own upbringing had managed to traumatize Erica. "Hermes is my father."

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[info]born_greater
2020-08-30 08:22 am UTC (link)
"Oh, wow. Okay." Marcie nodded, because of course she'd done her research on the Olympians. She'd devoured every bit of information she could get about them. "What was that like? Did he raise you? I only recently met Ares and... it did not go well." She grimaced at the memory. "Has he been nice to you?"

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[info]lockbreaker
2020-08-30 08:37 am UTC (link)
Erica thought that this was less an over the bar conversation and so she came around to Marcie's side and took up the barstool next her, crossing one leg over than the other. "Yes, Ares has never been very good at paternal," Erica agreed, putting it quite diplomatically, she thought. "My mother died when I was very young, and Hermes raised me mostly on his own. We shared a life that I considered to be very normal, but once I was older I realised it wasn't. I very much spent my childhood as both his loved daughter and his criminal protege. "

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[info]born_greater
2020-08-30 09:48 am UTC (link)
Marcie nodded slowly. "I imagine it must have been strange for you, coming out from under his wing," she said thoughtfully. "Well, I lived a very normal life, until I discovered I was a demigod." And boy, that was still such a weird thing to actually say. "And then, I guess I found it hard to fit in, after that. Does being one of us make us any different from regular people? Like, actually different?"

That was probably the point she was most curious about. She didn't feel different, except intellectually.

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[info]lockbreaker
2020-08-30 02:27 pm UTC (link)
"An interesting experience to go to school and realise not everyone's parents were gods, yes. You aren't the first to have to adjust to finding something out about yourself like this though," Erica reassured her. "I've met a lot of people like us over the years, and all of them are a little different. Some are as human as anyone you'd meet on the street, while a few seem almost like gods themselves. Hermes is a god of languages, and because of that I find foreign easy and a great joy to learn. Whether that is actually nature or nurture, though, who could be sure. But I also see ghosts and sometimes have prophetic dreams - both of those things are my father's domain, and I've gained them from him."

Where was her surprise Much drink?

"If you've only just learned about this world, then it's possible there are things about yourself you've never really looked into and considered, but that you'll soon come to see are an influence of Ares." Hopefully some of his better traits. Erica had never spent much time with Ares. The times she'd met him she'd first been a small child - of no interest at all to the war god - and then an attractive teenager - who had been warned to keep clear. "Some demi-gods, any gifts they have sometimes don't start to 'click' until they know who and what they are, and change can be slow coming."

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[info]muchofamuchness
2020-08-30 10:29 pm UTC (link)
Ghosts and prophetic dreams Much thought, with two exclamation marks for eyebrows as he balanced a twirl of lemon rind onto the glass of her sazerac. That was a worry, a psychic daughter of Hermes. Another reason to stay on her good side.

He slid her drink over, using the opportunity to get a closer look at Marcie. "Same again?" he asked her, trying to spot any hidden war god traits in her. Her blasé reaction to danger? Her attraction to terrible men?

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[info]born_greater
2020-08-31 01:31 am UTC (link)
"Oh, yes please," Marcie said to Much, but she wasn't looking at him. She frowned as she considered herself and her life- the sometimes reckless choices she made, the danger she didn't worry about- but then, how did she know it wasn't just who she was?

"I was good at karate when I was a kid, but I gave it up to do cheerleading. I was good at that too, though." Until she'd given that up too to study harder, and because they didn't want a known slut as a head cheerleader. Just a plausibly deniable slut.

She looked back at Erica. "But Ares is not a good person. Can't I fight back against that?"

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[info]lockbreaker
2020-08-31 01:47 am UTC (link)
"You can fight that," was what Erica promised Marcie, because if there was one thing she wanted the young half-mortal to understand from today, then it was that. "I recognise things about my father in myself. Good things, but bad things too: hurtful things. I worked hard to shed myself of those things, to not embrace darkness." She picked up her drink, taking a sip. "The difference we have over the gods is that we're not bound to belief like they are. They can never really change what they are, not by choice. They might change because belief shifts, or maybe something happens and they decide themselves that they want to try and change. And they can try, of course, but things always snap back to the status quo sooner or later. But humans? We can look at ourselves and if we don't like what we see, we can work on changing it. It's hard, but never impossible."

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[info]muchofamuchness
2020-08-31 02:26 am UTC (link)
Yes yes yes Much felt like pounding his fist into the air when Marcie asked if she could fight back against being a bad person - no, he wanted to hug, he was so pleased. Please with what Erica said, too, but he didn't feel as deeply invested as he did with Marcie. He got to work on her second drink as Erica spoke, setting it down in front of her. "That choice thing is one of the coolest things about being a mortal. Like I know you get backed into corners still, but. You get to surprise yourself. S'neat."

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[info]born_greater
2020-08-31 03:00 am UTC (link)
"Everyone I've spoken to about Ares has warned me away from him... but I went there anyway." Marcie chewed the edge of her lip. "I have been doubting myself a lot lately. Maybe trying to resolve this is why."

She looked up at Much as he spoke. She'd kinda forgotten that he counted as an immortal, since he wasn't Greek.

"Do you get that?" she asked, taking he drinks. "You don't have a choice about the way you are?"

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[info]lockbreaker
2020-08-31 03:03 am UTC (link)
"Ares is stubborn and determined and doesn't let anything stop him," Erica said, considering those traits. "Perhaps you have some of that after all."

Sipping her drink, she turned her attention to the Merry Man who'd turned out to be a very good bartender - although he also seemed to spend most of his pay on giving people free drinks.

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[info]muchofamuchness
2020-08-31 04:18 am UTC (link)
"Ahh..." Much tapped his thumb rapidly on the bar as he spoke, wondering if what he was opening here was a can of worms. But his mouth was already moving, so too late to stop anything now. "No, not reeeally, heh. But I'm not a big name so, I kinda... Change, a bit. Some of the guys are just, always who they are, but I still surprise myself. Came back from the dead in May and I'm like, oh is this who I am now? Right-ho."

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[info]born_greater
2020-08-31 11:25 am UTC (link)
Oh right. Much had been killed by the Sheriff. Marcie dropped her gaze, feeling a little something like guilt, even though she had had nothing to do with it. Her being with Malcolm was enough of a painful reminder for him.

But then, he'd killed Malcolm too. Was this why she didn't feel a repulsion to that information? She felt like she should be disgusted, like it was a slight on Much's character, but she just... didn't care that much. Immortals weren't humans, they worked by different rules. She cared more about how it had affected her than anything.

"Do you like who you are? Or you just don't remember being anything else?" she asked, taking the glass and sipping from it.

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[info]muchofamuchness
2020-08-31 12:15 pm UTC (link)
"No, I remember," Much said, with a shrug because... because he couldn't help shrugging, when it came to this stuff. The hard stuff to talk about. Shrug, and it didn't matter as much. "I remember all the bits of who I used to be, I'm just not them anymore." Another shrug. "Cores the same, though. Me and the guys. The whole balance-out-the-world mission. That doesn't change. I'm always part of that. And yeah, I like who I am. Imagine a lifetime where I didn't like myself, fuck!" Much laughed, though it wasn't really all that funny. There'd definitely been versions of himself he was glad he'd shed.

Like the page-boy killer. Or the simpleton.

Much had to wonder if, in his next like, he'd be glad to leave the sudden flares of rage behind, the impulsiveness, the low but constant murmur of dissatisfaction, the creeping dread that he just wasn't enough.

Yeah, not really all that funny.

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[info]born_greater
2020-09-01 10:57 am UTC (link)
The corner of Marcie's lip pulled up, but it wasn't really mirthful. Yes, just imagine not liking yourself. She looked back at Erica, and sipped her drink.

"Thank you for telling me all of this," she said. "You've answered some questions I didn't have the words to ask yet. I'll probably be puzzling this out for a while to come." She paused a moment. "This might be personal, but, you and Hermes, do you still have a good relationship?"

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[info]lockbreaker
2020-09-01 11:33 am UTC (link)
It was personal, but it also seemed to encompass an important aspect of the gods she she understand from the beginning. "Hermes and I have a... sometimes strained relationship," she finally settled on. "I love my father, but-He - and the other Olympians - they were worshiped and praised and sacrificed to for a thousand years. They were all-powerful and they did not compromise or change for mortals. And though the world has changed, their ways of thinking are harder to shift. Like I said, they're not really capable of change."

Talking about Hermes like this made Erica want to drink a little more, and she drained her glass before putting it back down.

"So while I know that my father loves me, I also know that he's capable of terrible things that he doesn't even see as terrible, no matter how it's explained to him. In the minds of Olympians, they're still what they were and I can try - and have I ever tried - to gently nudge him into this century, but it's hard work. Normal human adults are stubborn enough in their ways (I have a human mother-in-law who could barely be convinced to stop calling me Oriental), so just imagine when you add two thousand years onto it."

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[info]muchofamuchness
2020-09-02 10:03 am UTC (link)
"You'd think after two thousands years of not being worshiped so much they'd've started to click 'bout what century we're in," said Much, the words slipping out because he was never very good at guarding his tongue, and besides, what he was really holding back was worse.

Or maybe not worse but... not the sort of thing you should ask your boss in the middle of your shift.

What he'd really wanted, but had been trying not to ask, was How the hell can you love someone who you know does terrible things?

Did she know about Luna?

How the fuck did you learn to accept that sort of shit? And still love someone? It made Much feel a little crazy, just thinking about it, like if he tried to think that way he'd be torn in half.

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[info]born_greater
2020-09-02 10:31 am UTC (link)
Marcie glanced at Much, a slight frown tugging at her brows for a moment. He just wasn't good at hiding his feelings, and his disgust was obvious.

"Don't hold the gods in high esteem, huh? Humans are definitely capable of doing shitty things too," she said, thinking of her mother. She knew she loved her, but she'd deceived her, to assuage her own guilt. Marcie still couldn't forgive that. And her blood father incapable of change- so was there any point to trying again there? Probably not. And yet, the hope was not gone. Maybe call it stubbornness. She just had to find a different approach.

She took a big mouthful of her drink. "It's a lot to think about."

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[info]muchofamuchness
2020-09-02 11:07 am UTC (link)
"They just... shouldn't get away with stuff just because they were worshiped once," Much said, with another shrug, although it was a shrug he regretted after he'd made it. He'd meant what he said, he shouldn't have undercut it with the gesture. "People shouldn't get away with doing shitty things either," he added, with a bit of a wry smile toward Marcie. "Not arguing that."

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[info]lockbreaker
2020-09-03 10:13 am UTC (link)
"Aren't you old enough yet to know that 'shouldn't' is a meaningless word?" Erica asked him, not entirely congenially. Sometimes she felt so much older than these immortals, who were built of nothing but what people like herself could think of them. They all had such narrow world views. In some ways, Much and Hermes were the same. He might be changeable with each death, but that didn't mean he got to change for himself.

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[info]muchofamuchness
2020-09-03 12:18 pm UTC (link)
"I hope not," Much said, in a similar tone, a harder tone than he'd ever used at work before (...aside from the night the Sheriff walked in.) The day he stopped thinking that way might as well be the day he died for real.

Maybe that was a bit heavy for workplace conversation, though.

"You want another one?" he asked Erica, noticing how quickly she was drowning her drink.

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[info]lockbreaker
2020-09-03 12:26 pm UTC (link)
Erica nodded with a slight sigh and held up her glass to him, "thank you."

She turned back to Marcie and then slid a napkin across to herself. With the pen she pulled out of her pocket - she always carried a pen - she wrote down Erica Lowsley and her phone number. "You should have this," she said as she slide it back across the table. "Being the child of a god, it puts a target on you. It makes you visible and open and easy for everything dark and dangerous in this world. I had a father who protected me many times from the rest of them, but you are going to need people too." Her smile was sympathetic. "Don't expect it to be Ares. Protection is not in his nature. But Athena seemed to be concerned about you, and she's excellent to have in your corner."

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[info]born_greater
2020-09-03 01:20 pm UTC (link)
Marcie took the napkin gratefully. "I appreciate it, I really do. Thank you." She folded it and carefully tucked it into her handbag. "And yes, I was hoping Athena might help me. I might be in the job market soon." She glanced at Much, waiting for the significance of that to strike.

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[info]muchofamuchness
2020-09-03 02:03 pm UTC (link)
Much had started slicing up a few more lemons when Marcie's words hit, and he raised his eyes to look at her, both lips pulled into his mouth for a moment before a bright smile broke out over his face. He didn't want to say anything, but he was fucking thrilled.

And relieved. So relieved.

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