InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Emotional range of a teaspoon."

Antigone (thehighestlaw) wrote in nevermore_logs,
@ 2020-07-29 23:06:00

Entry tags:

antigone, asterion

WHO: Antigone, Asterion
WHEN: Wednesday afternoon
WHERE: A department store
WHAT: Don't ask the universe to be chill, Tiggers, it doesn't listen.
WARNINGS: Enclosed spaces

Antigone frowned as she looked at the label on this plain black shirt. The fabric felt fine enough between her fingers but the Made in India on the label make her stomach turn, thinking of kids fingers and rows of sewing machines, appalling conditions, no escape. She’d expected that, from a big department store like this one, but sometimes even when you know something bad is coming you still reach out to check. Fast fashion was a shitty, powerful, brutal organisation, harder, Antigone thought, harder to fight than Ares.

Although at least there were people - lots of people, fighting for children’s rights around the world. At least that was a fight that was... fighting.

Antigone gave up looking at the stupid clothes and wandered back toward the windows, but outside it was still bucketing down so hard the sidewalk looked like an actual river. There were still people out there struggling through the weather but Antigone knew that if she tried to get home right now she’d just get home in the foulest of moods and honestly, no one needed that.

Lightning cracked open the sky, reflecting her mood perfectly, and Antigone felt cruelly mocked by the heavens.

Maybe she should head up to the cafe on the top floor and get in touch with the local Unicef branch and see what she could do while she drank a coffee. At least she could tip the people working in the cafe, and maybe not think too hard about where the beans came from.

A woman and twins, all three of them dripping, stepped out of the elevator when it opened and just for a second, she thought it was Ismene. Her stomach clenched, and remain clenched, even after it became really obvious that it wasn’t.

If you could chill today Antigone asked the universe, the fates, or whatever Antigone-upsetting god was out to get her today. That would be great. She remained terrified of running into her sister before she worked out what to say to her.

Distant thunder rumbled through the city in answer and Antigone lay her head back on the wall of the elevator with a resigned sigh. At least, for the moment, she had the elevator to herself.

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	thehighestlaw 2020-07-30 04:35 am UTC (link)
	Antigone shook her head and her hand, both sharply. "No," she said. She could barely feel it. Eyes closed, she breathed through her nose a few times, feeling a bit like (haha?) a bull. She tried to breathe like a human person instead. "They'll come when they can," she said, trying to focus on that but oh gods she was furious. "Dick." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

asterius
2020-07-30 04:41 am UTC (link)

Asterion covered his face with his hand, forgetting all about the other half of his granola bar, which was now sitting on the floor of the elevator. "Scared," he admitted, because it was really, really obvious. But maybe if he gave voice to it then it might not claim him.

He let out another shaky breath, trying to focus on his words. "I don't like the dark. Don't like being trapped. You too?"

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thehighestlaw
2020-07-30 05:14 am UTC (link)

Seeing him sitting like that with his hands over his face, admitting out loud he was scared, made her want to reach out and touch his arm. She could imagine though, too clearly, that surprising him with a touch might end in him lashing out in shock. She tried to speak instead. Yeah, the word stuck in her throat. Really, really don't like it.

Fuck she wanted to beat at those doors with her bare hands, as if her fingers stood a chance at cracking them open. She clenched them both into fists. Breathed. Splayed her fingers and curled them up again, watching him.

"It's not dark," she whispered, cleared her throat, and repeated in a slightly stronger voice. "It's not dark. My phone has a good charge on it. This is temporary."

Everything was, though. Even being buried alive had been, in a way, temporary.

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asterius
2020-07-30 08:18 am UTC (link)

"Temporary," he whispered, repeating it over and over again in his mind. This was temporary. It wouldn't be years. It wouldn't be his entire life, until he was blessedly slain. It was the only mercy he was shown since he had been thrown into the labyrinth for a goddamn inclination that wasn't even his fault.

"You're nice," he admitted. He didn't always trust nice, but she seemed to be up front about things. She hadn't refused to speak to him after finding out who he was. What he had done. "Thanks."

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thehighestlaw
2020-07-30 08:31 am UTC (link)

"I'm just-" Antigone began, as the instinct to say no I'm not kicked in. She hadn't felt nice for ages, not kind, not how he meant it. She felt fierce and wretched and (she thought of Ismene) so, so terrible at human interactions. Maybe she'd used up this lifetimes worth of 'nice' at Richard's deathbed.

"I'm just surviving," she said, and then felt bad about that, too. He'd said thanks, and he said it with a bucketload of pain behind it. She should respond to the thanks, it sounded like it had taken him a lot to say. "But, I can bring you with me," she said, and, hesitantly, reached out to touch his arm. She had to reach quite a way, and didn't shuffle any closer to make it easier, but, still. She gave his huge arm, just below his elbow, a little, we're going to get through this pat.

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asterius
2020-07-30 09:14 am UTC (link)

She touched him.

Asterion raised his head quickly, but not in panic - in surprise. People did not touch him voluntarily. Not often. And especially not when they knew who he was. He swallowed roughly, glancing at the place her fingers had brushed against his arm, as if they might have made a mark. No one had touched him in kindness for...god...months. And even that had been because he had hired her, so she had to. It wasn't true kindness. Not like this.

"Sorry," he said, in case him jumping scared her. "No one ever touches me." He said it as a fact, not a command, his voice lamenting.

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thehighestlaw
2020-07-30 09:53 am UTC (link)

Antigone pulled her hand back as he looked up, but the surprise on his face didn't scare her. At least, it didn't put her any more on edge than she already was. "Sorry," she said too. "I didn't know if it would - you just looked - scared," she said. Even though she'd used the exact same word that he'd used on himself, danger warnings flared up in her stomach - you did not call guys this big 'scared', not to their faces, and she bit her lips together as he brain slammed on the brakes, adrenaline in her body telling her to run.

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	asterius 2020-07-30 09:57 am UTC (link)
	Instead of getting angry, Asterion nodded. "Was," he said quietly. "Don't apologise. It was nice. Everyone's always afraid of me." It worked when he was employed as a bouncer, but it meant he was dreadfully lonely. It didn't help that he had a difficult time trusting anyone. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

thehighestlaw
2020-07-30 10:18 am UTC (link)

He wasn't angry, and besides, there was nowhere to escape to if he was, and the adrenaline in her body didn't know where to go. It galloped about her body while her brain tried to catch up with a softer reality than she'd been expecting. "Well you are very big," she said, and wished, immediately, that she hadn't. She winced, sitting back in her heels, the light in the elevator shaking a bit before she steadied her hand on her leg. Maybe the shadows disguised how messed up she felt, maybe not.

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	asterius 2020-07-30 10:21 am UTC (link)
	The corners of his mouth quirked up a little at that. If he wasn't so fucking scared, he would have laughed. "Should've seen my dad," he actually joked. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thehighestlaw 2020-07-30 10:41 am UTC (link)
	Antigone made a thin 'I don't know how to react to that' noise, although she was hardly going to cast stones when it came to parents, since her father was also her brother, and she felt guilty for sounding horrified. "We can't, ah, pick our parents, can we?" she said. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

asterius
2020-07-30 10:50 am UTC (link)

"No," he agreed. Though he would always choose his mother. Over and over and over again he would. His step-father, on the other hand-

Asterion found his half-eaten granola bar on the floor, and he picked it up and ate it, not caring at all that it had been where thousands of people's shoes had been. When he finished, he felt just that little bit more fortified against the enclosed space. "I try," he mused, "to not be so scary. Not easy."

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thehighestlaw
2020-07-30 11:22 am UTC (link)

Antigone was taking a few breaths that were meant to be settling ones, to at least try and stop herself from wanting to jump out of her skin. The breathing didn't really help, but it did give her the little extra she needed to set her jaw and just... force the excess adrenaline down. She grabbed the last of her bar, too, to force that down as well, because she was in control and the huge minotaur was not going to hurt her because he was sad and scared and trying, so if her body could just stop screaming that would be great.

She bit down hard on the granola and thought that this chocolate must be what whiplash tastes like. "I wish I was scarier," she said, with the sort of honesty that slips out when you're thinking about other things. "We could swap."

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	asterius 2020-07-30 11:27 am UTC (link)
	Asterion looked over at her like she was insane. Did she know what being scary meant? Well, of course she didn't. She couldn't know how starved he was for affection and touch. How it hurt him when people screamed and ran away. He supposed, though, if she wanted to be scary, she had to have a reason. "Did someone scare you? Can I help?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

thehighestlaw
2020-07-30 11:38 am UTC (link)

Antigone laughed at the horrifying idea that fate had sent her the minotaur to send after Ares, and then felt sick at her laughter, and pressed a hand over her mouth, and that act very almost turned it into a sob. It took her a horrible moment to pull herself back, to press her hand calmly down on the floor. "Thank you," she said, and though it was pretty interesting that she didn't say anything like but no.

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	asterius 2020-07-30 11:41 am UTC (link)
	He had been so upset and she had calmed him just by talking to him. Now that he was calmer, she seemed to be teetering on the edge of losing it. "Can I come closer?" he asked, because he wasn't going to do so if she said no. "You look sad." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thehighestlaw 2020-07-30 11:47 am UTC (link)
	She forgot everything she'd used to convince herself he wasn't a creep when he said that. "What are you gonna do?" She blurted, the warning in her stomach dialing up a notch again, her hand gripping so hard around her phone. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

asterius
2020-07-30 11:50 am UTC (link)

He held out his hands, trying to look as non-threatening as possible. "Okay, I'll stay here," he promised her. "Was just going to- You're scared of something. Or someone. Was going to touch your arm. Like you did mine. I won't. I always ask." Well, he always asked unless someone threatened him, and then he beat the shit out of the other person. But she wasn't threatening in the least.

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thehighestlaw
2020-07-30 12:01 pm UTC (link)

Oh hell, she was going to throw up - all Antigone could think for that moment was how much her body was threatening to throw up. - was going to touch you - Stop it! She screamed it at herself, stop it! Antigone moved back and pulled herself to her feet, using the handrails to grip tight. She felt less vulnerable, on her feet, and she just needed a second to - to cram it all back down.

She sent a glance in his direction, looking, for all his size, as meek as he could. "I just don't like being cornered," she said, her voice on the edge of breaking. Part of her did believe him, when he promised he'd always ask, it was just, her body didn't.

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	asterius 2020-07-30 12:15 pm UTC (link)
	Asterion looked up at her, but he didn't stand. He didn't think his hulking height was going to help matters here. "Sorry," he said sadly. God he should have known better. People were afraid of him. Why had he thought this was different. Slowly, so she didn't panic, he moved himself back into the far corner of the elevator. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

thehighestlaw
2020-07-30 12:26 pm UTC (link)

"It's not you-" she said, as he scootched backward. A hard, angry part of her berated her for feeling she needed to explain herself, another part warned her that he was just acting sad to make her feel guilty. But she said 'it's not you', all the same. She wanted to explain, all the same. "Fuck, it's... when you've been on this planet for this long, all the shit you've been through can all pile up on you, all at once." There really wasn't enough room in this elevator for both of them and all their baggage.

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	asterius 2020-07-30 12:29 pm UTC (link)
	"Yes," he acknowledged, even though he didn't think she should have to make him feel better. He was the one who scared her. "I said I would help. Is someone hurting you?" Was she in an unsafe situation at home? Was that why she was here shopping, trying to escape it? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

thehighestlaw
2020-07-30 12:43 pm UTC (link)

Antigone closed her eyes for a moment, rubbed her forehead hard with the back of her hand, and slowly sat back down on the floor. Despite the fact that they were in a tiny box hanging between floors, it was as solid as she was going to get. There was a metaphor in their, somewhere, though Antigone didn't think she was going to write that article anymore. "Not me," she said eventually. "A friend. I just. I know what she's going through. Watching it happen to someone else is... Hard."

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	asterius 2020-07-30 12:47 pm UTC (link)
	"I'm sorry," he said, though for once he wasn't apologising for something he did. "Want to protect your friend." Asterion probably would too, if he had any. "If I can help, I will. After we get out." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

thehighestlaw
2020-07-30 01:12 pm UTC (link)

"After," she echoed, nodding. Gods, her mouth was so dry from all this freaking out and granola - Antigone pushed the thought away before it could combine with the thought that the bottle in her bag was already empty. It would be fine. They'd be out of here long before she had a chance to get really thirsty. She swallowed, just thinking about it, and turned back to look at him, offering to fight a battle he had no context for, just because someone he'd never met was in trouble. "Thank you, Asterion," she said.