InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Let's put a smile on that face"

Thomas Julian Kemp (asterismos) wrote in nevermore_logs,
@ 2017-04-01 23:27:00

Entry tags:

madeline kemp, thomas kemp

WHO: Thomas Kemp, Maddy Kemp, possibly Joss, Lena, Jamie, etc.
WHAT: Distractions and love
WHEN: Friday evening
WHERE: Maddy's side of the duplex
WARNINGS: Memories of sexual assault, though not really explicitly described.

If he hadn't been home alone, it wouldn't have been such a big deal, but reading the article Maddy had linked to and the words of a lawmaker explicitly mocking a survivor of sexual assault, Thomas couldn't help but feel personally attacked. His hands started shaking first and he squeezed his eyes shut to the memory of Beelzebub forcing him to comply.

And of course his first thought was calling Vicodin and telling him he wanted to go back on his word so Victor could make him very very high please. His second thought was getting so drunk h could pass out. Neither thought was particularly helpful. Maddy, his angel of a sister, was incredibly helpful.

And so Thomas excused himself from his otherwise empty house, and stepped through the adjoining door to Maddy's side. They said together for a while, playing with Diana and talking softly. Thomas didn't want to get too deeply into his issues with his little niece in the room because more than anything he wanted to keep anything terrible and bad from her for as long as possible. It was only after Maddy had put her down for a nap, and during the middle of the second Die Hard movie, that Thomas started crying.

He had been fine ignoring everything one second, and sobbing uncontrollably the next. Immediately he curled up into Maddy's side, burying his face against her, his knees hugged up to his chest.

The world was getting darker by the day, and Thomas couldn't handle it gracefully any more.

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	asterismos 2017-04-01 08:58 am UTC (link)
	She was right of course, but he still felt like a failure of a human sometimes. "Sometimes I hate myself so vehemently I can't- I can't even justify feeding myself because it feels like a waste of resources." Sure saying it out loud sounded crazy, but it was how he felt. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	aspectabund 2017-04-01 09:06 am UTC (link)
	"Oh Tommy," Maddy said sadly. "I know that tell you you aren't isn't going to help things, because you have to believe it yourself. Just know that-I love you a bunch and I'm so happy that I live next to you. I love the way you love my daughter, and your son. And I love the way that you'll bend over backwards for the people you love." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	asterismos 2017-04-01 09:10 am UTC (link)
	"They're the only reason I'm still here," he admitted. "I mean you all are. I've got no other reason to stay. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to dump all of this on you." At least it gave poor Lena a break from hearing his self=pitying bullshit. "I should be the one showing symptoms of- Not Charlotte. It should be me." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	aspectabund 2017-04-01 09:15 am UTC (link)
	"If you don't let it out, who are you going to tell?" she asked, leaning against him. "You know I don't mind. And in a fair world, neither of you would be showing symptoms. And I know, the world's not fair. But I do wish there was some way to make you both well." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

asterismos
2017-04-01 09:22 am UTC (link)

Thomas usually wished the same, but today he wished the symptoms were upon him. Not remembering things didn't seem so terrible today, and neither did death if he was honest. "I tell Lena. I fell Lena all the time. My poor wife. I don't want to tell Jamie, though sometimes I think he knows more than he lets on. I don't think it helps I'm in pain all the time. Makes me all broody."

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	aspectabund 2017-04-01 09:27 am UTC (link)
	"Well you know you can tell me if you want," she offered. "And he usually does; he's a sharp kid, that one. And, well, you're right, it probably doesn't, but you can't really help that." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	asterismos 2017-04-01 09:36 am UTC (link)
	"No," Thomas agreed, "if I could help it I would. You know what? I should do something. I mean to- I should- Holy shit, I should do something!" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	aspectabund 2017-04-01 09:39 am UTC (link)
	"...Do what, exactly, Tommy?" she asked. "About what?" Maddy was suddenly very confused, and feeling like she'd lost the thread of the conversation somewhere. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	asterismos 2017-04-01 09:54 am UTC (link)
	"Oh sorry, fuck-" Thomas jumped up, pacing back and forth then, wringing his hands. "I should start something. Or- Like a- Like a thing! Fuck. I mean for people who- A charity! I should start a charity for people who have been assaulted. I mean I know they're out there, but it's not enough. We need more. I can do this right? I can start something?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	aspectabund 2017-04-01 10:12 am UTC (link)
	"Like a support system?" Maddy asked. "Of course you could, Tommy, and I think that in this climate, it would be a really great thing to start up." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	asterismos 2017-04-01 10:19 am UTC (link)
	"Yes! Like a support system! Peer support or something. I think so too. Holy shit, I'm going to start something." (Reply to this) (Parent)

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