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Tinsel Gloria Claus ([info]tinseltangled) wrote in [info]nevermore_logs,
@ 2023-11-16 00:12:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood: guilty
Entry tags:erato, henry claus, tinsel claus

WHO: Tinsel, Henry, a bit of Erato
WHEN: Friday Nov 10th, evening
WHERE: Tinsel's office
WHAT: The guilt is eating Tinsel up because she got eaten out
WARNINGS: mild sex talk




Halloween was the last event on the Calendar that was a real competitor for Christmas, and it was after that that work really ramped up for Tinsel. Thanksgiving hardly rated when she had so much to do to make sure Christmas happened. Some of the people in the office had little fake pumpkins and skeletons decorating their workstations, bringing the Spooky Season into this bastion of Yule festivities.

Trick or Treating in Manhattan was difficult for people in apartments. A lot of people had little bowls of candy out on their desks. Tinsel encouraged people to wear costumes if they wanted to, and on the 31st there were a good number of spooky characters. Tinsel didn’t dress up. She had so much to do already to deal with leaving her office and joining everyone else in their Halloween staff lunch.

Amber, her assistant, knocked on her office door and poked her head in. She had a plate of food and a witch’s hat, which she held up with a smile. “Brought you a costume,” she said, coming in and placing down the plate. “I saw you working through lunch again so I brought you some food. You need to eat something. It’s good, the cupcakes are frosted with little spider webs. Cute, huh?”

Tinsel thanked her with a smile and a sigh. Her phone buzzed as Amber went back to the rest of the party, and she glanced at the screen, and then turned it over. Julia. She was checking in on their plans for the night. Tinsel was already starting to tell her she was busy with her ever-increasing workload a little more often than she should. And she was busy, it was just- she could make time if she really wanted to, and she knew it.

The problem, which she had not discussed with anyone else, was that Julia wanted more from Tinsel than Tinsel was able or willing to give. Julia had said those three little words, and Tinsel could not find it in herself to say them back; she knew that meant things weren’t working, but Julia was so- so… so invested. And so sweet and caring, and Tinsel didn’t want to hurt her. So she pulled back each time Julia tried to move closer, unconsciously or not trying to bridge the gap.

Absolutely swamped, I’m so sorry hon xxxx Have fun without me tho!!

Tinsel picked up a bottle of wine on her way home. It was actually one of the good bottles for tonight, she’d thought to treat herself as she sat inside in her Stitch onesie and watched Downton Abbey instead of going out with her girlfriend, like she should want to be doing.

She rubbed her temple tiredly as she headed into the lift. She’d been up before dawn to get a workout in before going to the office, focused on keeping her body fit to keep up with the long hours. And now it was dark, and she felt like she’d hardly seen the day. With an exhausted sigh, she closed her eyes.

A scent filled her nostrils and she gasped softly, sucking it in. It was like a sunbeam between storm clouds, a warm springtime morning after a freezing winter. The smell was fresh and floral and sweetly feminine, making her breath it in deeply and open her eyes again, suddenly refreshed.

It was her downstairs neighbour. The slim woman had her red hair in delicious curls tumbling down her back, over a short gauzy white dress made to look weathered and torn. Jasmine was adjusting her cape, and caught Tinsel’s wondering gaze, giving her a perfectly kissable smile.

Tinsel knew she was a Muse, and Luna’s friend. But she’d spent more than one night since they met fantasizing about a moment just like this one, and that fact didn’t seem important to remember. Nor was the fact that she was meant to be in a committed relationship. She would feel somewhat guilty about that later.

“Hello. Happy Halloween,” Jasmine said, fluffing out her skirt. “I like your hat.”

Tinsel had forgotten she was still wearing the witch hat she’d been given, and she raised a hand to touch it. “Th- thanks. Uh. I like your costume.”

“Oh- sexy ghost, you know, in the great Halloween tradition.” Jasmine laughed a silvery laugh, and gestured to the back on Tinsel’s arm. “Where are you going with that wine? Somewhere special?”

Tinsel bit her lip, and shook her head. “Nah. Just me and a box of shortbread and a TV binge watch. Long day at work.”

Jasmine smiled sympathetically, and reached out, brushing her fingers against the back of Tinsel’s arm, making all the hairs stand on end. “Well, Tinsel Gloria, I have this new herbal tea that would help to energise you, if you want to come try it? My party is over, I have nothing left to do but get into my pajamas too, and you know-” She leaned in close, conspiratorial. “I am not quite ready to stop enjoying my costume. Do you think that would be something you might like?”

Tinsel felt stupid with the enchanting scent and the closeness. She was just going to have tea with her neighbour. There was no harm in that. None at all. Maybe she could share her wine, too. And Jasmine had remembered to call her Gloria, which- Well, why must she always be the responsible one? It was just tea.



Reader, it was not just tea.



“Tinsel? Are you- did you sleep here?”

Amber was in her office, looking at her in concern, and Tinsel looked up from her coffee, sagging on her elbow on the desk. It was sweet that Amber cared. The whole office cared, but so long as Tinsel just focused on her work, she could put her energy into making Christmas bright for those in need, and not hitting her girlfriend with a metaphorical sack of coal. She could convince herself she could forget it and move on. And maybe that meant she didn’t go home and face her apartment and shame.

“Do you need to call someone?”

“Hm?” Amber was still talking to her, and Tinsel rallied to give her a smile, sitting up straighter. “No, no I’m fine, we have joy and goodwill to spread and only forty-four days to do it in. Back to work!”

Amber hesitated, but eventually she left the office, although she did come back with an orange juice and a croissant. Amber also, at the end of the day and fearing another late night from her boss, took the opportunity of having access to Tinsel’s phone to send a message to her brother, asking him to come by at his earliest convenience. Sometimes workaholics were their own worst enemies, and Amber could at least provide a friend to chisel Tinsel out of her office.



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[info]tinseltangled
2023-11-20 11:48 am UTC (link)
She knew she had to break up with Julia. That much was painfully clear.

"What if I just break up with her, and don't tell her what I did?" she said in a small voice. "Why hurt her more than I have to?"

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[info]philosophos
2023-11-20 11:52 am UTC (link)
Honestly, Henry could kind of see her point there. Though he didn't think sparing Julia was why Tinsel didn't want to tell her. "Do you think you don't want to tell her because of her feelings, or your own?" he asked gently. "I'm genuinely asking. If it was the other way around, would you want to know?"

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[info]tinseltangled
2023-11-21 11:39 am UTC (link)
Tinsel looked up at Henry, a little hurt. "That's not fair. When Clem did it to me, it was supposed to hurt." She rubbed her temple tiredly. "But everyone knew except me. So of course I couldn't not know."

She was not a natural deceiver. If anything, her parents had drilled the importance of honesty into her from a very young age. But... but... who knew what had happened? Henry, who wouldn't tell, and Jasmine, who... well, who knew who she would tell, but Julia wasn't hanging out with Muses all the time or anything. And Tinsel doubted she was important enough in the Muse's life for her to talk about it very much, if at all.

"The answer is both. Her feelings and mine. And I don't know if I'd want to know, if I didn't know there was anything to know. Because hi, I don't love you, and just to twist the knife, I slept with some random as well. It's- it's cruel. I don't want to be cruel." She found herself tearing up, and she sniffed and reached for a tissue, her chest aching.

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[info]philosophos
2023-11-21 11:45 am UTC (link)
"I wasn't talking about Clem," Henry added, though the fact that she went there was fair enough. "You're right, she did it to hurt you and you didn't do this to hurt Julia. I know you better than that."

While Henry believed Julia had the right to know, this wasn't his relationship and he sure as hell wasn't going to put Tinsel in a worse position by touting his own beliefs here. This wasn't about him. "If it's both your feelings you're trying to spare, that makes sense to me. I know you'll decide what's best. And I'm here for you, no matter what. How about I stay here tonight, hmm? Or you could come to our place and stay there a few days?"

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[info]tinseltangled
2023-11-21 12:02 pm UTC (link)
Tinsel shook her head. "Thank you for the offer, but I've got too much to do. I just- I can't. And now I have to fit in ending my relationship too." She got up, scooping up her wine glass and going back to the kitchen to fill it up, feeling too wired to stay still. Joining Henry and his other family in their puppy pile would only irritate her eventually, and it wouldn't be fair to take out her mess of emotions on them.

Still, perhaps some quiet company tonight wouldn't be so bad, someone to listen to her moan and whine and feel sorry for herself without telling her to pull herself together. And it was starting to get late. She waved her wine bottle at him. "Do you want a glass too? You can stay tonight if you want to. I mean, it would be nice, if you did."

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[info]philosophos
2023-11-21 12:05 pm UTC (link)
They had pizza coming, so Henry figured he could do one glass without getting silly. "Sure, one glass is fine," he nodded. "And I'll definitely stay. Can I take any of the weight off you? Do something so you can have a little downtime?" He didn't think it was likely, but he had to try.

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[info]tinseltangled
2023-11-21 12:29 pm UTC (link)
Tinsel was considerate and didn't even overfill Henry's glass. She brought it over as she gave Henry's question some thought. "I- I'd like to, but- I mean, there's places I could put you if you want to help but, for me personally..." She turned her hand up helplessly. "Three months ago I could have. Now, I just have to keep the plates spinning. I don't know which one I can take my hand off without making them crash. Maybe..." She sighed and took a drink. "Maybe you can tell Ma and Pa for me? So they don't ask where she is at the Gala? Oh god, the Gala..." She groaned and paced restlessly. "Julia's bought an outfit, she's looking forward to it, I was going to bring her to Christmas-"

And suddenly Tinsel burst into tears, the heartbreak of it all finally getting to her.

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[info]philosophos
2023-11-21 12:34 pm UTC (link)
Henry nodded when she asked if he could tell their parents for her. She had been relaying messages to them for years for him, of course he could do that for her. And then she burst into tears, and he put his glass aside so he could pull her into his arms.

"I'm so sorry," he said, holding her tightly. "It really sucks." She would find someone who was perfect for her, he truly believed that. But that didn't make heartbreak any easier. "I can hang out with you the whole time if it'll help."

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[info]tinseltangled
2023-11-23 10:47 am UTC (link)
Tinsel cried and sniffled a bit, letting the grief pass, and then she wiped her eyes on the backs of her hands, trying to get herself back under control. "You have your own life," she hiccupped, pulling back and casting about for the tissue box. "No. I have to- I have to keep things moving- There's so much to do-" She took a shuddering breath and sniffed loudly. God, she'd have to get this breakup done soon, just so she could put it behind her until January and she had space to breathe again.

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[info]philosophos
2023-11-23 10:52 am UTC (link)
"Tinse, you are one of the most important parts of my life and if you need me, I'm there. I can be your gofur or whatever else you need, okay? Unless I'm crowding you, and then I will happily make myself scarce." He wouldn't take it personally if she wanted to be alone.

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[info]tinseltangled
2023-11-23 11:33 am UTC (link)
With a sigh, Tinsel finally found a tissue and blew her nose and wiped her eyes, swiping under her lashes to mop up her smudged makeup. Giving Henry a watery smile, she shook her head.

"I employ someone to do things for me. You have your husband, and all the things you must be doing with him at this time of year. I appreciate the offer, but it's okay." She sniffed again and dabbed at her face with a clean tissue. "You don't have to be scarce though. Ugh, I hate crying. It's so exhausting."

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[info]philosophos
2023-11-23 11:35 am UTC (link)
That made sense. He would just check in on her a bit extra. "I won't be scarce then," he smiled lovingly at her. "Crying's the worst. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I wish I could help more. There's pizza on the way at least. I love you, Tinse."

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[info]tinseltangled
2023-11-23 11:58 am UTC (link)
Tinsel let out a tired sigh and rubbed her temple. Her head ached. With a soft groan, she leaned her forehead against Henry's shoulder. If only she loved Julia, everything would have been fine.

"There's always pizza," she mumbled. "I stuffed up, didn't I. Be honest."

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[info]philosophos
2023-11-26 10:17 am UTC (link)
Henry didn't want to lie to Tinsel, but he didn't exactly want to be honest either. He took a deep breath and nodded, "you made a mistake, yes. Like I said, that doesn't make you a bad person, it just makes you a person." He turned his head so he could kiss her hair while she rested on his shoulder. "Everyone stuffs up, Tinse. I mean, think of all the stuff I did."

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[info]tinseltangled
2023-11-26 10:40 am UTC (link)
Tinsel was silent for a long moment before she said, "You're being too kind to me," but not in a way that she was very upset about that. Sometimes- a lot of the time- she forgot she was the younger of the two of them. Moments like these were nice. She didn't get to be looked after very often.

She was certainly not looking forward to doing the breaking up, though. She'd have to message Julia tomorrow. Tear off the band-aid and do it quick.

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[info]philosophos
2023-11-26 10:47 am UTC (link)
Henry didn't think he was being too kind. She was his sister, and she had been through so much. Including very nearly losing him. He knew the person she was, and that person was so good and kind. She deserved goodness and kindness back.

"Nah. You're just one of my favourite people ever's all. All I'm ever gonna do is love you."

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[info]tinseltangled
2023-11-26 11:08 am UTC (link)
She smiled faintly. Henry was being sweet. She sighed deeply.

"Be honest with me. The fact that Mom and Dad are having another kid- that doesn't mess you up, even a little?" she asked, glancing upwards at her brother. "The fact that our replacement is on the way already- doesn't it bother you at all?"

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[info]philosophos
2023-11-26 11:12 am UTC (link)
Well that surprised him. He blinked a little and then he shook his head. "No, no-not at all. Being a brother is one of my favourite things to be. And I'm going to make sure that kid feels so loved. And that Mom and Dad don't distance themselves." He took a pause and then said, "does it bother you?" Henry didn't see it as a replacement, but then again, he had given over his birthright. Tinsel was the heir now, and so, he supposed, this child was her replacement in a very real way.

"God, do you think that's why Garland is such a jack-in-the-box? He sees us as his replacements?"

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[info]tinseltangled
2023-11-26 11:29 am UTC (link)
"Well... yeah, it is, for sure," Tinsel said, because it wasn't the first time this had crossed her mind, even before the new child was announced. "And we are. Well, you were. I am. I literally am supposed to replace him." She sat up from leaning on Henry and looked at him searchingly. Sometimes she did not understand how he could be so relaxed about some things.

"You honestly never thought of this before?"

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[info]philosophos
2023-11-26 11:35 am UTC (link)
It was times likes these when Henry knew he had made the absolute right choice to pass on his birthright. He didn't want there to be all these complications in his relationships. He just wanted to love his family without awkward politics colouring it. He just wanted to show affection and have it returned without worrying about who was replacing who.

"I haven't," he admitted quietly. "I just want to love my siblings. I always wondered why Garland was cold to us. I guess- It never bothered me that you stepped up because I gave it all up. You replaced me and I was relieved. So I suppose it wouldn't occur to me. I'm sorry. If- If it makes you feel any better, no one will ever replace you for me." He had a feeling it wouldn't make her feel better.

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[info]tinseltangled
2023-11-26 11:47 am UTC (link)
"Oh pssh." Tinsel laughed slightly and rolled her eyes. "You are such a sap. I'm not saying I have a big complex about it all. I just have definitely had it cross my mind, and the parents gearing up for the next round, it-" She huffed a laugh again, this time at her own expense. "It makes me feel like I'm getting old, alright? We are supposed to be the young ones, and now we won't be. And then I think how I can't make a relationship work..." Her smile faded, and she frowned and groaned under her breath, disgruntled.

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[info]philosophos
2023-11-26 11:52 am UTC (link)
"Ahhh," Henry nodded at that. He sometimes felt like he was getting old too, but he didn't mind so much. But then again, he was settled and happy. The happiest he had ever been. "Well we are growing up," he winked. "And you can make relationships work, Tinse. You have friends and family, and those are relationships too. The reason this one didn't work out isn't you. You just need to find the right person." Even without sleeping with Jasmine, it sounded like Tinsel was on her way out of the relationship.

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[info]tinseltangled
2023-11-26 12:06 pm UTC (link)
"Hmm." Tinsel wasn't sure she agreed, but maybe she was just being hard on herself. "Maybe I... maybe I've been so focused on my career that... everything else has sorta..." It was the reason things had started to fail with Clementine, and she felt like her focus on her work had got between herself and Julia too, at least mentally. It was alright for Henry, cruising about, sappily married and doing what made him happy, and Merry with her joyful unboxings and whatever online. Not everyone had that luxury. "I want my career. I want the job I have. But I want- I want other things too. And I'm fluffing it up."

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[info]philosophos
2023-11-26 12:12 pm UTC (link)
"I was going to say," Henry said quietly, "you need to find someone who - when they say 'maybe let's take a night off here and there' you want to. You can have your career and be a badass. You'll know the right person when she comes along because you'll be willing to say 'you know what, the work will be here tomorrow'. You're not fluffing up. You just haven't found someone who is more important yet. You will. You'll find someone who lights you up so much you feel energised just by being around them. It's not effort, it's peace."

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[info]tinseltangled
2023-11-27 10:35 am UTC (link)
"Feels easier said than done." Tinsel shook her head. "At least... if I never do find anyone, at least I'll have my work. I can make other families happy. Maybe Merry will be the one from our generation to add to the family tree." She wasn't sure True Love would ever happen for her, but at least her work gave her purpose.

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(no subject) - [info]philosophos, 2023-11-27 10:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tinseltangled, 2023-11-27 11:32 am UTC

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