sir jerkface of douchebaggery. (sardonian) wrote in mythopoeics, @ 2011-12-18 22:04:00 |
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Entry tags: | aeneas, agravaine, arthur pendragon, elaine of corbenic, iseult the fair, lancelot, morgan le fay, pheme |
one ♞
Dear Santa,
It's been so long! I hope you liked the cookies I left out for you last year, and that the milk was cold enough because I left it in the freezer for too long. I'm still wondering how you got inside my apartment because I don't have a chimney and my balcony door was locked from the inside, not that you couldn't find a way to break in because I'm sure you've got excellent lock-picking elves to help you.
This year, I'd like several bottles of expensive wine because I'm not enough of a lush. I need to get more drunk! Like, a bottle for every day of the year. If you could also give me those cute little doggie jackets and boots, that would be like super cool. Not for the dogs, they're totally for me.
Give my regards to Mrs. Claus and hug Rudolph for me! Oh, and tell your elves they're doing a super great job. I promise the cookies I'm leaving you this year will be like so much better than last year's. Are you allergic to nuts? Send me back a letter just to be safe, I wouldn't want to kill you and ruin the dreams of children for decades to come.
LOVE~,
Elaine the Drunk |