Nobody is smart but Daryl Hockney (the_automaton) wrote in musings, @ 2011-03-03 17:15:00 |
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Entry tags: | irene adler, moriarty, oracle, sam winchester, sherlock holmes, watson |
[After a full day of snooping, reading tabloids, and seeing creepy photo montages of herself, Daryl gets down to business.]
[ Locked to G. Dailey ]
Ms. Dailey,
My name is Daryl Hockney. As you may know, I am a police consultant working with the Seattle Police Department, and as such I work closely with your significant other, Kyle West. As you also may know, Chief West and I have enjoyed a platonic personal relationship over the last few months. I have begun to notice that, while his personal hygiene is quite admirable, he tends to smell of ethanol. Recently, I have begun investigating his office and home, and my suspicions have been confirmed.
Chief West has several bottles of hard liquor in his office at the precinct and more at his home. I have been able to find multiple receipts for purchases from liquor stores in Seattle, confirming the theory that a great deal of the alcohol he consumes was disposed of before I could find it in his possession. He also has, in his possession, a small pharmacy of prescription medications containing opiates, sleeping pills, and mood elevators. The fact that he is combining prescription medication use with copious alcohol consumption is concerning.
I urge you to, for the time being, not inform him that you are now aware of the seriousness of his substance abuse problems. Instead, I believe we should discuss this matter confidentially and form a plan for the most effective method of weaning him off of the substances he has grown dependent on. I am in contact with a trustworthy nurse, and I am going to ask him about intervention and rehabilitation techniques. I will inform you now that I have no qualms about using tactics that he may perceive as "unfair," as my goal is to restore his health first and foremost.
I hope to hear back from you soon, and hope that we will be able to work together to solve this problem.
- D. Hockney
[ Locked to S. Walker ]
Nurse Walker,
I am calling upon your medical experiences as a registered nurse in the hopes that you may enlighten me. Do you have access to "placebo pills"? Preferably they would be sugar pills that appear to be any number of other medications. Failing that, would you be able to suggest any medications that could be minimally damaging to use in place of a proper placebo drug?
Thank you,
- D. Hockney
[ Locked to S. Duncan ]
I am not pregnant.
[ Text to A. Morgenstern ]
I commend the ability of your sperm to fertilize my eggs without ever gaining access to my reproductive tract.
[ Text K. West ]
Before you ask, the allegations are false. There is no way that I could be pregnant.