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Tweak says, "Here There Be Potatoes!"

audrey main // ramona flowers (dyingatherfeet) wrote in musings,
@ 2011-01-29 17:23:00

Entry tags:

batman, ramona flowers

locked to t brandon
[After this.]

~~you're an asshole and i hope a bus runs you over~~ ~~i was so stupid to think that i could trust my own taste~~ So I hear you're back, that's great. I put you up for auction for the charity auction. Why? I don't know, because I'm a crazy bitch, I guess. When you disappeared off the face of the earth I tried to bid on your auction. I knew it was you because they used the stupid joke information I gave them. Anyway, someone else won you, so now you get to go on a date with someone for charity. Have fun.

ETA: [A few hours later, after she considers that Thomas might just sleep with his date, making it not so much a punishment as something that will make Max more upset.] You know what, I'm willing to try to buy your date off the winner if I can get hold of them, and save you a date with someone else. I'm just fucking generous like that.

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	Phone call to A. Main. bystealth 2011-01-31 01:53 am UTC (link)
	[An unrecognizable number, from the hospital room phone.] (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. dyingatherfeet 2011-01-31 02:12 am UTC (link)
	[Audrey doesn't recognize the number, which is a little strange, but she picks up.] Hello? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. bystealth 2011-01-31 02:20 am UTC (link)
	Audrey. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. dyingatherfeet 2011-01-31 02:36 am UTC (link)
	[There is a pause, and when she speaks again, her voice has gone flat.] Thomas. How can I help you? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. bystealth 2011-01-31 02:39 am UTC (link)
	[Hesitating. He doesn't know what to do with the tone. His own voices is a lot quieter than normal to hide the roughness and disuse.] There's something on the forum from you, but the computer had a difficult time transcribing. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Phone call to A. Main.

dyingatherfeet
2011-01-31 02:52 am UTC (link)

[There's a sigh. She sounds angry, like she has no patience for the conversation.] I'll give you the cliffs notes: I put you up for auction. You disappeared off the face of the planet. I tried to bid for you, couldn't win the auction. So now you get to go on a date with a random stranger, unless of course you want me to try to pay off the person who won, which might be for the best in light of recent events, don't you think?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. bystealth 2011-01-31 02:54 am UTC (link)
	Auction? [He actually sounds alarmed.] I can't go on a date. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. dyingatherfeet 2011-01-31 03:02 am UTC (link)
	[More annoyed, if that's possible.] What, did your little sojourn leave your balls so dry that you can't give it another go? I'll see if I can buy it off them. [Disconnect.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. bystealth 2011-01-31 03:04 am UTC (link)
	[Whaaaat.] Ring. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. dyingatherfeet 2011-01-31 03:06 am UTC (link)
	[She picked up before the first ring is finished.] What? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. bystealth 2011-01-31 03:08 am UTC (link)
	Sojourn where? [Sternly, to try to get an answer.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Phone call to A. Main.

dyingatherfeet
2011-01-31 03:10 am UTC (link)

With whoever the hell you spent your four-day vacation with. What, did you really think Max wasn't going to tell me? We may hate each other most of the time, but we're sisters. I thought you were a decent man, and clearly I made a massive mistake. Don't hold it over my head. I'll by the stupid date from whoever won it and then I never want to have to speak to you again. [She sounds like she's about to hang up yet again.]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. bystealth 2011-01-31 03:43 am UTC (link)
	Vacation. [Almost sputtering.] I didn't--why would you want me to date? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. dyingatherfeet 2011-01-31 03:49 am UTC (link)
	[Shouting now.] I THOUGHT MAX WOULD BID FOR YOU. But we both know how well that's worked out. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. bystealth 2011-01-31 03:50 am UTC (link)
	Bid for me. With money? [Completely flummoxed.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. dyingatherfeet 2011-01-31 04:00 am UTC (link)
	[She might kill him. It might happen.] The charity auction, Thomas, were you that busy? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. bystealth 2011-01-31 04:05 am UTC (link)
	What char... charity auction? [His voice gave out and he had to clear it to get it back.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. dyingatherfeet 2011-01-31 04:07 am UTC (link)
	The one for the Valentine's Day Carnival, Thomas, the one that just ended, the one that started the day you fell off the face of the earth to go fuck someone that wasn't your pregnant girlfriend. Don't call me again. [Disconnect.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. bystealth 2011-01-31 04:22 am UTC (link)
	[Ring.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. dyingatherfeet 2011-01-31 04:24 am UTC (link)
	[The phone rings about five times before Audrey finally picks up. She doesn't say anything, unless Thomas can hear and interpret the sound of seething.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. bystealth 2011-01-31 04:26 am UTC (link)
	[Audibly worried.] Audrey? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. dyingatherfeet 2011-01-31 04:31 am UTC (link)
	What? [Pause. She still sounds angry, but she's audibly upset as well.] Look, Thomas, I liked you. I thought, here's a decent guy. Someone who's good for my sister, probably too good for her - look how lucky she is. Congratulations on proving me wrong, really, I give you my props, but you don't need to drive it home any further. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. bystealth 2011-01-31 04:36 am UTC (link)
	I didn't go anywhere to... be with anyone else. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. dyingatherfeet 2011-01-31 04:38 am UTC (link)
	[A pause.] What? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. bystealth 2011-01-31 04:41 am UTC (link)
	I wouldn't be with anyone else. Why do you want me to go on a date? [Then, suddenly, to someone in the same room:] It's important. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. dyingatherfeet 2011-01-31 04:45 am UTC (link)
	[Audrey is suddenly putting together how generally confused Thomas has sounded during this entire conversation.] Max said that the reason you disappeared was because you were off sleeping with someone else. [Pause.] Where are you? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. bystealth 2011-01-31 04:48 am UTC (link)
	[His mouth comes back near the phone at that, and he's offended. Really offended.] No. [Then, this time away from the microphone:] No. If it doesn't come back, it doesn't come back. I'm not straining them. I'm on the phone. Go away. [He sounds imperious, but he's used to ordering people around. His voice comes back.] Audrey? Sorry. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. dyingatherfeet 2011-01-31 04:57 am UTC (link)
	[Now she's feeling a mixture of worried, creeped out, and horrified.] Then why did she tell me that was what you were doing? Where were you then? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. bystealth 2011-01-31 04:58 am UTC (link)
	[Oops, we didn't think that far ahead.] I am... I mean, I was... [Derailing, horrified.] She said that? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. dyingatherfeet 2011-01-31 05:00 am UTC (link)
	[Demanding, now.] Where. Were. You. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. bystealth 2011-01-31 05:02 am UTC (link)
	[Thomas covers the mouthpiece, for the first time aware there might be some obscure hospital noise she might hear. He tries to think.] ...London? London. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. dyingatherfeet 2011-01-31 05:02 am UTC (link)
	THOMAS. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. bystealth 2011-01-31 05:03 am UTC (link)
	Los Angeles? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. dyingatherfeet 2011-01-31 05:04 am UTC (link)
	THOMAS BRANDON, I JUST SPENT FOUR DAYS LOOKING FOR YOU AND IF YOU DO NOT TELL ME THE TRUTH RIGHT NOW I WILL SKATE OVER THERE TO WHERE EVER THE HELL YOU ARE WITH MY BASEBALL BAT. DO NOT MAKE ME DO IT. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. bystealth 2011-01-31 05:05 am UTC (link)
	[Really horrified now.] You were looking? I'm sorry. [Flustered. He's bad at lying. We've established this. Good at ordering around. Bad at lying.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. dyingatherfeet 2011-01-31 05:06 am UTC (link)
	[She almost feels bad enough for him when he says that that it dampens her anger, but not quite. There is a deadly sort of silence on the other end of the phone.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. bystealth 2011-01-31 05:07 am UTC (link)
	[Hurriedly.] I wasn't with another woman. I was out of touch. I lost my phone. I'm sorry. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. dyingatherfeet 2011-01-31 05:14 am UTC (link)
	YOU LOST YOUR PHONE? Max would not tell me you cheated on her if all that happened was you lost your phone. [She hears a noise, then, and it sounds like...a monitor. A monitor? A MONITOR?] ARE YOU IN THE GODDAMN HOSPITAL? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. bystealth 2011-01-31 05:16 am UTC (link)
	[A guilty, guilty pause.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. dyingatherfeet 2011-01-31 05:18 am UTC (link)
	[Her voice is shaking.] Tell me which hospital and I might spare your life. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. bystealth 2011-01-31 05:20 am UTC (link)
	Audrey. [Obviously trying to soothe.] That would be a very bad idea. I am fine, I promise. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. dyingatherfeet 2011-01-31 05:21 am UTC (link)
	I'm waiting. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. bystealth 2011-01-31 05:23 am UTC (link)
	[After a short hesitation, honesty.] I don't know the name. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. dyingatherfeet 2011-01-31 05:24 am UTC (link)
	[...] Are you calling from the hospital phone? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. bystealth 2011-01-31 05:26 am UTC (link)
	[Oh no. Bad.] ...No. [Bad lying.] Audrey... don't come here. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. dyingatherfeet 2011-01-31 05:28 am UTC (link)
	[Darkly.] I know you probably can't, but all the same - don't go anywhere. [Disconnect.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Re: Phone call to A. Main. bystealth 2011-01-31 05:33 am UTC (link)
	[Baaad. But the nurse is back and she takes away the phone and moves it away, which makes him want to hurt a very nice person for a very silly reason. However, they want him to rest, and they have ways of making sure he does it.] (Reply to this) (Parent)