This is DJ Skeleton with an emergency report. We've received word from the police that there are mobs of violent, mindless humans attacking en mass on Seattle streets. Please stay indoors or find yourself safehouse. Do not go outside unless you want to be torn apart like one of my interns.
[A small pause.]
I wish I was kidding. We'll be transmitting until they do the same to me. [There's a shuffle and some shouting within the DJ booth. Voices arguing before DJ Skeleton yells slightly off mic for them to fucking leave if they want to be pussies.]
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