Who: Jerome & Oliver When: 1:00 pm Where: kitchen, then outside
At this point, Jerome, even though reluctantly, felt like it was already part of his daily routine to stand behind the kitchen counter or the stove, preparing food or doing dishes, in a kitchen that was not his, in a mansion he didn’t want to be in, and the fact that this wasn’t the kitchen he had already grown accustomed to led to a strange feeling of detachment he despised himself for heavily. Once again, it felt like a sick joke how quickly he would “bond” with a foreign kitchen, even if it was only him trying to find some comfort in doing what he always did, and the feeling of having betrayed his children rushed through his veins, with the intention of detaching himself from everything and everyone here, to hold close what he had lost.
But actually, this wasn’t really what he wanted to do. It absolutely wasn’t like Jerome to listen to his own wishes and needs, and he didn’t even fully realize that this was exactly what he had been doing when asking Oliver if he would join him for breakfast in this strange new place they had been put in overnight, as if this was nothing. He couldn’t wrap his head around how the hell they had been able to do something like this, and even though people had already told him that things like this could very well happen, actually experiencing it was definitely not the same at all.
He sighed, preparing two mugs which would be filled with iced coffee later on, it was very, very hot outside, and for a short moment, he had wondered if they had been out unconscious for a prolonged period of time, but remembering the conversation he had about this matter with Oliver and Edwin, this was, fortunately, very unlikely. On the other side, this only left him with alternative explanations which seemed either horrifying or straight out ridiculous, and in the end, there wasn’t a single explanation that would even satisfy him in the slightest. It was worrisome, to say the least, and he surely hadn’t been in Zenith long enough to just roll with whatever they threw at them, thus leaving him in a slight angered and tensed up state. But at this point, he had already started to suppress these kinds of emotions as good as he had always been able to, shoving them away for the time being while concentrating on the things in front of him. More or less successful. His forehead had a frown impregnated onto it, while his thoughts wandered around restlessly, trying to find a place to stay at and to silence the worries which would only get louder throughout the day.
Yesterday, his desire to take the easy way right into the wine bottle had been reduced by having someone to talk to while he was baking his soul out, and it irked him that now, at this weird new place, he wouldn’t be able to offer his baking products to anyone. The fact that baking would benefit everyone had been the reason he had allowed himself to indulge in his hobby after all, allowing himself to do something for his own needs, his own fun and relaxation. It was like They knew, and were taunting him that way, and even though Jerome himself couldn’t take this thought seriously at all, it sure as hell left a bad aftertaste.
But, ironically, he was pursuing his needs without noticing, and the thought of meeting up with Oliver was able to lift his mood slightly. Having closed himself in for so many years, pushing people outside his family away while drowning in his own guilt and self-pity when nobody was looking had made him numb regarding his actual need of someone like an actual friend, someone to talk to, someone he would feel was an equal to him in every regard, someone with whom the predominant feeling wasn’t that he had a responsibility to care for them. Even though he loved his children to death, even so being with them was the most fulfilling thing Jerome’s world had to offer, even though no one could ever be as important to him as both of them, deep inside the core that he was denying himself to even feel slightly, he felt absolutely and utterly lonely. A forbidden feeling, hidden away, ignored and denied, covered up with a defensive stance or alcohol, surely would still grow in secret. And in a place where everything dear to him had been taken away, it would surface.
And it had. Presumably already when he had been in town with Oliver, but ultimately when they had their breakfast meeting and circled through all kinds of conversation topics and emotions. Some part of him had embraced the feeling of enjoying the company, even though it had been a very rough morning altogether, emotionally, and he had sensed a familiarity he would have never even allowed himself to feel prior to his arrival in Zenith. He couldn’t put his finger on it, and he didn’t even wonder why there wasn’t any kind of defense mechanism trying to pull him back into his shell. There wasn’t even reprimanding. There was just the longing for a friend, and a person Jerome enjoyed the company of.
They didn’t end up meeting for breakfast after all, which hadn’t prevented Jerome from spending his morning inside the kitchen anyway, after he had shortly toured the new house, realizing it was way smaller than the mansion. He had contemplated going outside, but as memories about the last summer he had spent with his children were surfacing like someone had pushed a button, laying a clenching fist around his heart, he had decided not to, and to make the little dessert he had promised to Oliver a big one instead, in an attempt to keep himself occupied, as usual. Even here, the new unknown kitchen somehow acted as a safe space, as safe as it could get inside this shithole, and he didn’t dare to search for the alcohol in case there was none, which would be… unfortunate. To say the least.
He frowned a little more while trying not to concentrate too much on the possible lack of alcohol, and, as usual, he was devoting himself to the dishes of the baking utensils he had used, while his chocolate cake was still in the oven, big enough to feed at least a few people here, presumably. A little amused smile Jerome hadn’t asked for ran over his lips when he thought about how Oliver had tried to steal his place behind the sink a few days ago, not even realizing how much peace the simple gesture of friendly company brought to his mind.