HELP I DONT KNOW WHERE TO LIVE CRAIGSLIST IS REALLY CREEPY GUYS A GUY WANTED TO LET ME MOVE INTO HIS 2-BEDROOM AND MY BED WOULD ACTUALLY BE A CHINESE SEX SWING OR SOMETHING I DON'T WANT TO GET INTO IT HEEEEEEELP

So what the fuck is there to do in Colorado?

And where's the gym?

A modern retelling of the classic Norse tale of how Skaði married Njörðr.

It's such a pity some of you are ashamed of your former selves.

I kicked major ass Saturday. All who came hatin' learned their lessons. What.

[Filter: Cain]
Thanks for coming and cheering me on.

When did

[Filter: Eros]
I have
Can I ask
So there's this
I don't know if

Are we talking?

Fuck yeah things falling into place. Got my first round of summer classes set up, a promotion at work, and the manager of Avalon Night Club complimented my booty. Today was a good day.



[Filtered away from Staff, Faculty, or anyone who might turn them in]

Not only have I secured us a spot for the fights Saturday night, but I also got us a fucking boss after party. All without threatening anyone. Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.

Now, let's get down to business - who wants to fight who? I'll fight anyone, and Arron will fight everyone, but is there anyone any of you are itching to fight? Let me know and I'll set it up. Fair warning, whoever fights me and Jazz best come correct, since we'll be bringing our A-games.

Aimon or Jon, do one of you think you could handle keeping track of any bets for me? Arron's gonna be busy keeping order, so it's falling on me to handle the administrative shit.

This Saturday is gonna fucking rock.

BEST. COLON. FLUSH. EVER.

Not really. I missed a day of work. I blame the hot chick with the cupcakes. She told me to take one. And I did. And then I got sick. It wasn't my breakfast. Yes, I did drop the piece of toast on the floor. But the 5 Second Rule dictates that one has 5 Mississippis to get what has fallen on the floor before it becomes diseased and inedible.

And my kitchen isn't that bad.

I'd say I learned my lesson, but I haven't. A good colon flush is good every once in a while. So, thank you cupcake, for makin' me just a little bit healthier.

This is already shaping up to be an amazing and awesome summer, and I'll tell you why:

In the past week alone, I've -
♥ Gone on a motorcycle ride
♥ Been offered a second job
♥ Bought tickets to all the festivals I want to go to
♥ Got hit on at work
and, ♥ Found out I still fit into my favorite short-shorts

My only issue is in order to not go broke I'ma need some help making a budget. Anyone good with numbers willing to give me some lessons? Also, Sasquatch this weekend in Washington, who's coming with me?

...now to talk myself out of stalking a Brit boy band. This might require reinforcements.

[Filtered to Students]

I'm back. Riley and I While The Avengers was fucking awesome, it wasn't a perfect film. The thing that could have made it more perfect would have been the inclusion of me as portrayed by Idris Elba. It's nice to see Loki getting his ass kicked even if it wasn't really him.

I also got the highest marks on my trumpet jury out of any of the freshman/sophomore brass players. Fuck yeah.



((OOC: After talk of getting high starts, Jon filters the post to students only.))

I just got asked if I was trying to dress as a woman because I had flowers all over me. Of course, she was about 80, but still.

Then she told me that I make a really ugly woman, and that I should shave my beard if I really wanted to try again. But that I shouldn't bother, because I'd make an ugly woman.

I think I agree, but it kind of wounds the pride a little bit. At least I don't have allergies, so I guess it could be worse. Though the flowers are actually in my beard. It's like a big beard of flowers.

Wait, bees aren't going to start attacking people, are they? I hate bees.

You would not believe the looks you receive on the street with one of these growing from your forehead. I could always sleep in my office, but, ah, I do not want to pass up an opportunity to match my new roommate. It is unfortunate, however, that Laura's sunflower is much nicer than this old hyacinth.

I've forgotten the point to this- aha! Due to emotional stress, all my students who have sprouted greenery will receive an automatic 5% boost to their final essay grade. We will call it a reward for displaying such tremendous growth. No! Scratch that, it is a reward for blossoming under my tutelage.

Good luck to everyone.

[Private]

The fresh-flowering garden was laid waste, the rosy meadows withered...

I miss my moms. Called them, like, three times yesterday. Is that a lot? First time I was fine, but then I got fucking homesick and then I cried, because shit just sucks right now...I dunno. I can't wait for the summer, so I can go home and see them. Mostly. I just don't want to be here. I want a hug. I want their hugs.

This is slightly awkward, but--

My hair is covered in cherry blossoms! And I've been eating them all fucking day since yesterday! Shit. I don't get it. They're all in my food. No flowers when I get the food, but I fucking go to take a fucking bite and there they are! I think it has to do with my mouth. Because flowers are appearing on my toothbrush and on the ends of my pens. This is kinda scary, actually. Is it okay to be eating cherry blossoms? Because I'm not going to stop eating entirely. Or brushing my teeth. Or chewing on my pens. Fuck. It relaxes me.

[Filter: Jon]
Look, I need to ask
So
I hear that
It's been confirmed
She's my fucking friend
ladfsioawrojadsf;lkajeroaiwerlkasf

Are you going home during the summer?

Saw someone around the lake with tulips growing out of his ears. It kind of made my skin crawl.


I would post about my mother, but I have a feeling people would have nasty and sarcastic things.

Woke up this morning to board a plane and head to NYC, got off the plane to get ambushed in a completely not-cool way by the news that MCA from the Beastie Boys passed away. I wonder if I can convince my traveling companion to take me to Brooklyn so I can pour out a little liquor for a true ace...

This begs the question - favorite Beastie Boys song? Mine is 'Brass Monkey', but I'm also a fan of 'Paul Revere'.

[filtered; away from Faculty and Greeks, except Eros, Hermes, and the Mousai]
Dear Monte;

Serious question for those of you who know these things, aka have more experience than me in this matter - what reasons would a guy (who has made it abundantly clear that you're just friends sometimes with benes) have to bring you to meet his mother? Hypothetically. Oh, and how should you, again, speaking hypothetically, feel when said mamacita refers to you as 'the girl' upon first meeting you?

Perplexedly yours,
Aria

[Filter; Private]
Fuck, I had no idea this would be so hard. I keep wanting to text, set up a meeting, or just fucking see him, but I know if I do I might slip up and say something stupid. He hasn't said anything, so he probably doesn't care. I should take that as a sign and stop being such a dumb bitch, but whatever. I'm allowed to be ridiculous every now and then.

[Filter; Public]

Shitfuck, finals are just around the corner. Anyone want to help me with my final paper for Deviance and Social Control? Or let me practice Arabic on them? Fuuuuuuck At least I know I'm acing Comparative Military Systems and Tactical Decision Making.

Signed up for summer courses, hoping to get my Psych and Lit requirements out of the way before the Fall semester. Is anyone else sticking around for the summer, or am I the only dork?

...I was gonna post another poem, but it's pretty private so I decided not to.

[Filter; Jonathan]
Hey. Your little sister offered to take me to look at dresses. Consider me creeped out.