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Tweak says, "Good morning, Sunshine!"

Laura Moon (spitandviolets) wrote in mirage_rpg,
@ 2009-01-24 23:41:00

Entry tags:

arrival, complete, day 30, l lawliet, laura moon

Who: Laura and L
What: Arrival
When: Day 30, Sunset
Where: Forest's edge
Rating: PG-13 for adult implications in Laura's past
Status: Complete

Death hurt Laura. She was not talking about the act of dying; that had actually been exceptionally easy. Really, one moment her head had been in Robbie's lap, it occurred to her that oh my God, I'm going to die, and the whole nasty ordeal was over. She didn't even remember going to the hospital, though she knew that she did not die at the scene of the crash. She had waited, for some strange reason, until Wednesday morning. So, a more accurate statement would be that undeath hurt Laura. There was a constant, parching thirst in every cell of her body; there was a complete absence of heat in her frame. She had been such a warm person in life that she would murder for even a fraction of it. In a way, she had murdered for it. Blood, hitting her icy flesh, imbued her with a bit of warmth until it went cold. And in death she had learned that people were so easy to kill once you weren't so prejudiced about the whole thing. It was like they were taunting her as she was able to feel the blood pumping through the veins of the living. There was also the matter of decomposing. While she was not exactly dead, she was certainly not alive, and her body was subject to the laws of nature that affected any body. The maggots in her lungs created a nasty cough, and she felt things moving deep inside her now and then. Really, the whole mess was quite disgusting, and it was almost painful - if she could feel pain.

Death was not as painful as drinking from Urd's Spring had been. The Norns had given her the water than nourished the tree of life, and she honestly thought that she was dying again. It had frozen her insides cold, and it felt like liquid ice, if one could imagine that as anything other than water. Though she had thought it impossible, she had blacked out. When she had awoken, though, the side effects were remarkable. While the water had not restored her life, it had restored her death. Months had been shaved off of her decomposition and decay. For the first few hours, she had possessed breath, blood, and warmth. She was not alive, but she was less dead, and there was a certain mental clarity that had come to her. She knew where she must go, what she must do, and she left Ash Farm (as well as her poor Puppy, her only love) to fulfill her destiny.

Destiny, however, seemed to be wanting to throw another wrench in the works. As of late, Laura had taken to traveling under cover of the forest. While she looked, most times, like a sickly living person, she hated passing for alive. What she really wanted was to be alive. Her second largest desire was warmth, and she wasn't sure what she would do to find it. She had learned what being unfaithful to her husband could cause, but there wasn't much that could hurt her anymore. Karma was a bitch. The forest got denser as she traveled through it, which seemed odd to her as she should have been approaching a highway. She needed to hitchhike in order to get where she was going. An eerie feeling came over her as she walked. Faintly able to see the sky, she noted that it was getting lighter, not darker. Where was the storm that she had seen on the horizon? Why did it seem that the light was coming from the opposite direction? No stranger to strange events, she did her best to ignore these anomalies at first. The trees thinned, however, and she found that she was out of the forest much, much sooner than anticipated.

Before her, a ways off but easily visible, was a set of buildings that looked more at home in Indiana than West Virginia. This turn of events was wholly illogical. Why was there a log cabin? And why was it suddenly beautiful out? She thought she had been heading towards the eye of the storm, the site of the last battle. Where was this place? And if she had gotten turned around, where was her Puppy? Noticing that the sun was beating down on her from a low angle, warming the ice that was her flesh, she stepped back into the shade of the trees. Inconvenient. Laura preferred to avoid daylight almost entirely, and avoiding people was also a preference. She closed her eyes, reaching out, trying to sense what sort of population she was dealing with. Maybe this was one of those hippie communes from the sixties that had never gotten the memo that the Age of Aquarius was over. She felt them, and for a moment her ability to sense them was trying to sort itself out, but their lives washed over her, covered her like a blanket. Stuck between the proverbial rock and hard place, between being lost and being surrounded by an ocean of the living, was an ocean of sun, no matter how faint. Hopefully she'd have time to wait for darkness before deciding what to do. Lost in her thoughts, the typically alert Laura Moon was completely oblivious to the world around her. This was one of those moments when action was required, one of those places that she always hated to find herself.

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meticulous_soul
2009-01-30 03:28 pm UTC (link)

"Julian is not a stupid name. It is just not mine," L said, his dark eyes liquid in the growing dusk. "Just as Simone and Lucy are not yours. As for thoughts..." he chewed his thumbnail, thoughtlessly, since he knew that it would grow back, "I suppose they occur to everyone, often unbidden."

Hearing the word "suicide" struck a sensitive chord for L; his own mother had committed it, with the decisive control her life had lacked. The rain, and sleet, and ice... the cassette tape of church bells that had soothed him as a restless toddler in the car that night, and then the sharp turn, the crash, the plunge... he'd lived, and she'd died. One of the last things L had contemplated, before he'd been whisked off to this new world, was suicide. He'd stood outside in his shirtsleeves, high above the city that was far from home (but closer to heaven), feeling the November rain turn his skin cold. He had dreamt of bells the night before, and felt a sense of dread. Of knowing that the end was near, and wishing, like his mother, to control it. A few steps towards the edge of the building, and over... but Light had shown up before any of it was a conscious intention, and then he had been drawn to Mirage without warning. He knew enough, to know that not all crimes were paid for, and that not all victims were avenged. It sounded to him like Laura's situation was a bit of both. While he cared little for money, he knew that it corrupted good people... and so the meaning of "temptation" in Laura's context became a bit more clear.

Then, hearing about Robbie... another person, like Shadow, who had died but did not exist as Laura did. A car crash, and alcohol... and the etiquette of dying. His mother had not considered such a thing, nor had he before being brought here. It just seemed as though a person's body was not their problem anymore, once dead, though Laura clearly refuted that misconception. Uncertain of exactly what to say, following Laura's scripted-but-true story, L bit his lip. "You look very good, for having been run over by a truck," he ventured earnestly.

L knew that Laura would touch him before she actually did, anxwas therefore able to keep from flinching. It was indeed cold, but as the living expected nothing from the dead, Laura's touch demanded nothing from L. He shivered slightly, wondering how to proceed. Would Laura's body hold up to an embrace? Her fingertips against his sensitive forearm were like ice... But they felt just like fingertips, otherwise."So... the dead can fear things..." he mused aloud, after she withdrew. "I would not have thought."

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spitandviolets
2009-02-01 12:00 am UTC (link)

Laura smiled. She actually smiled. She hadn't remembered feeling that light in a long time, and the sight was something to look at. When her lips curved upwards like that, Laura actually looked like she could really pass as living. There was something about her blank, cold expression that didn't fit her face. L's comment, that she looked very good for having been run over by a truck, was what had done it. Laura hadn't stopped to think about that. She hadn't been grateful for it until just this moment.

"You know, I never stopped to think about that before. I wasn't exactly run over by a truck. I'm not actually certain what happened to kill me. I think my neck may have been snapped by the drive shaft, or maybe I just had massive internal wounds. I mean, I was almost laying down in the front seat. Robbie's knee probably came up and did some damage. Maybe my head got crushed by the steering wheel. I wish, now, that I'd gone to look up my own death certificate and autopsy report. I'd love to know my cause of death. But I do look pretty good, don't I? I mean, I haven't always looked this good. I'm sure part of it is the reconstruction work that funeral homes seem to be able to do these days. Maybe parts of me are metal, and I just don't know it. I all feel the same: as I said, I feel cold. I do decay, and I am not capable of really healing from being damaged. You see, I got to drink from Urd's spring just before I was taken here. It seems to... well, restored me to the point that I was at when I was freshly dead. You'd probably not be so kind with your words if you saw me after nine months of walking around. The cough alone, and the wriggling feeling in my lung, is enough to put anybody off."

Her mood slipped a bit when he made his next comment, however, and when she saw his reaction. Well, she couldn't say that she hadn't, somewhere inside, expected it. People didn't like to be cold. Nobody wanted to be touched by her. Curling into herself a bit, rubbing her arms still with her own hands, she felt bad about the shiver. Was it that horrible? At least she was able to realize that she was cold. It was a terrible curse, though, being wholly unable to feel warmth other than that of human beings. Her mind flicked back to killing those two men. Wood and Stone, perhaps? Was that their names? She couldn't remember exactly.

"The dead," she chuckled, nodding slowly. She didn't know why hearing him call her that made her feel odd. Maybe, just for a moment, she had felt more like a person than a corpse. "I suppose it is strange, the idea that I'm afraid of something. Maybe afraid is the wrong word. Or maybe it's just one of the things that I can almost feel. Maybe it's that it unsettles me, the idea of nothingness. Perhaps fear is too strong a word."

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meticulous_soul
2009-02-01 12:43 am UTC (link)

L rather liked faces; eyes put him off, but the way the other features worked together... He could see and appreciate Laura's smile, for its beauty and genuinity, and he couldn't help but return it. Even to him, it was a natural social response. Simple reciprocity, mimicking and returning what was given to you.

Wouldn't everybody like to know their cause of death? Well... L supposed that the realists would, anyway. Some might have preferred the faithful, humble, human approach, simply letting fate guide them to the grave. He listened to Laura's frank talk of how it might have happened, not inferring the connotations of her head in Robbie's lap because L was a detective, and he discarded what was not important. His reception of the tale was neutral; he had heard grisly things, in his time, and could be considered a study of contrasts. Understanding violence and evil deeds while remaining innocent to the realities and perversions of sexuality, he was a wise child and an ignorant man. "You look very good," he agreed readily. "I would not guess that you had been dead for long at all... Perhaps a week, at most... maybe even a few days... Is Urd a type of preservative?" unaware of the true meaning that held for Laura, he found the whole process somewhat fascinating.

He was able to notice, even with his somewhat blunt understanding of emotions, that Laura seemed crestfallen after he involuntarily shivered. It struck L as bitterly, ironically funny that he was as inept with someone like Laura as he was with the typical living person. Was shivering at the touch of a contact-lonely corpse considered some sort of faux pas? It was both absurd and made perfect sense. Who would not feel bad, if their touch was received so shudderingly? "It is not you..." L was quick to tell her. "I am not used to being touched by anyone. It is a very strong sense... touch... and it can be too much, at times. When I am thinking very deeply, I am easily overwhelmed with sensory stimuli." it was not an apology; L was not the type, to apologize. But it was an explanation, and hopefully one that Laura would accept.

"No... afraid is apt... I am afraid of nothingness. It is why... it is why I am here tonight, observing and searching for life and meaning in the coldest places in the universe. The spaces between stars are as cold as they look," he signed quietly. "It makes the stars mean more, perhaps, that they can sustain such heat and power in that darkness..." he paused thoughtfully. "Though... unsettling is a good word, too."

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spitandviolets
2009-02-01 10:44 am UTC (link)

"A preservative," she echoed, nodding, carefully considering the question. "Do you know anything about Norse mythology, L?" This was going to be difficult to explain. It seemed that in L's world, full of logic and rational thinking, there was little room for religion or magic. For a long time there had been no room for such things in Laura's world as well. Now she knew for certain, and now she believed. "In said mythology, there are three figures, the Norns, that spin the fates of men. Urd, the oldest, watches over fate and the past. Verdandi, the middle child, represents the present. Skuld, the youngest, represents the future and debt. These three women decide the fates of all of the creatures on the earth, not just of men. Not even gods can go against their power. In addition, they live by the Well of Urd and they tend to the World Tree, the ash known as Yggdrasill. It is their job to keep the world tree from rotting. These three powerful beings currently reside in West Virginia on Ash Farm, where my husband died hanging from the tree on that property."

"It seems that the Norns who live in West Virginia still have access to the Well of Fate. When I went to find Shadow for that last time, I was in pretty bad shape. Spending time in the South was not the best decision that I could have made. It seems that heat and humidity advance the rate of decay on a body. Let us simply agree to say that I was not in a very good condition, and the constant thirst that I experience was ruling me. I went into the house where the Norns lived, and they gave me a drink of the sweetest water in the world. It was like drinking liquid ice, as absurd as that sounds, because it froze my insides and rid me of all my rot and ailments. Temporarily, I became less dead. I had warmth, I could bleed, I had breath. As it's the water of the past, it did not provide life, but it reversed time so that I was freshly dead instead of nine months deceased." Looking up at the sky, Laura shrugged. "It would be nice to have that kind of thing around all of the time. I don't think I'm going to get that lucky, though. The Norns are in West Virginia, not here. I may look good to you now, but I apologize for you having to watch my slow, disgusting decline."

Folding her hands into each other, Laura nodded, studying the sky. "You don't have to explain. It's fine. I get carried away sometimes. I don't think that you humans realize how warm you are. You're a constant 98.6. I'm subject to room temperature. Now I know how the butter dish at home used to feel." Her eyes traveled down to him. "Ironic, though, that you and I should meet. One of us can't stand touch because it's too strong, too overwhelming, too powerful. One of us can't feel most touches at all. Though I suppose that's not the only way that you and I are polar opposites. Though it's good to know that you're thinking very deeply. I didn't peg you as shallow, but some people don't bother to think critically for their whole lives.

"We do have a fear of nothingness in common, so maybe we're not that different. You found what you're looking for, maybe if it is a bit closer. I know for a fact that there is life and meaning in the universe. There is a higher power. I am certain of that fact. I can also tell you that, tonight, you found out that there is also death, and undeath, and a lack of meaning in some places. The universe is a funny thing. I wish that you could see what I see. To me, the stars aren't interesting. To me, humans are the heat and power in the cold, empty, darkness."

Rising to her feet, Laura nodded towards the resort. "Since I can't go home, primarily because I'm dead, secondarily because I'm on a planet that is not Earth, should we head in? I'm comfortable with living outside, but I can't picture you doing that. Maybe I can find someplace to stay. Not like anyone here knew me when I was alive."

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meticulous_soul
2009-02-01 12:52 pm UTC (link)

L nodded, resting his chin on his knees as Laura gave him a thorough rundown of the three Norns. Like many academically attentive people, he knew something of religion and mythology, but they were, along with other "humanities", not particularly thrilling topics to him. Life seemed too short to live on faith and fiction, and as theories emerged with scientific enlightenment, he accepted them dutifully and continued to crunch numbers and solve international puzzles. To hear Laura speak of the "myths" with such conviction, however, was different even from listening to the staunchest religious zealots. The thing was... up until extremely recently, L had tossed aside the supernatural due to lack of convincing evidence, but he had witnessed the existence of a Shinigami, a notebook with the power to kill humans, and now he was engaging in conversation with a woman whose time had technically expired. A logical person, believing his senses and experience, had no reason to doubt Laura's story. "Perhaps... if that water helps... some might be present on this planet. Or brought here," he suggested hopefully. Her advance apology for decaying in L's presence was not commented on; L literally had no response. Not a single book or website on social skills (he had read many) mentioned such a delicate situation. When it came right down to it, L didn't want Laura to decay whether he had to witness it or not, and his unconscious mind had already begun to suggest creative methods of slowing degeneration. "The planet provides for others in special circumstances, after all."

For a moment, L tried to imagine Laura as melting and softening in a butter dish. It was an unpleasant image, one that would put him definitively off butter for the next month. It also made him want to refridgerate Laura, naturally. "I am trying to overcome that tendency of mine," L said, shifting and plucking distractedly at the white cotton of his shirt. "When I was small, it was much worse. But humans are social creatures, and touching is something we are supposed to do, so... I'm trying to learn to enjoy it, and so long as it is not unexpected, it has reached a point where it is not so bad." he raised one shoulder self-consciously, and wondered what Laura might mean by "polar opposites." One of them had a pulse, and the other didn't, it was true... and humans seemed to be L's dark places while they were Laura's stars. He did wish, truly, that he could see what Laura did... and then wondered if it was wise, to wish such a thing.

"It seems to be a fairly common trend, that if you are here, you have a place to stay," L said, standing and folding his star charts. "There are many from different worlds. I knew no one on arriving, and it is likely that you won't meet anyone familiar, either, but... I like your company. So please don't feel alone, OK?" Steeling his nerves, L reached for Laura's cold hand. It took him a moment, for his mind to adjust to the sensation of being in contact to that extent with someone, but he was OK. He'd be all right. He'd done much, in his life as L, and it was not an insurmountable feat for him to successfully survive contact of a physical nature for a short walk back to the resort. Laura would not hurt him; he knew this, now, and it was a feeling he could get used to.

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spitandviolets
2009-02-01 04:30 pm UTC (link)

Laura nodded and shrugged a little. "Norn water on this planet? I wouldn't say it's impossible, but it's highly unlikely. If this planet is that powerful we all have something to fear. A planet that can replicate the power of gods? Why? How? I can't imagine it being able to provide for so special a circumstance, even if it is able to help others who have special requirements."

Though he didn't know what to say in response to her apology for decaying, she still felt that the apology needed to be made. Laura had been a very polite, considerate person in life. She didn't like making things inconvenient for anybody. The fact that her death had inconvenienced Shadow still sent a pang through the very core of her. He had intended on coming home to a party, or at least to her. He'd come home to her, but she wasn't there.

"Though I am no longer human, I suppose there are some things that I have yet to leave behind. I dislike the judgment of others, and I like to touch people. They're for different reasons, though, so maybe humans really are just a subspecies of whatever it is that I've become." Her eyes narrowed as she looked at the ground. "I really, really dislike being called a zombie." She paused, grumbling inside about never having acquired a taste for brains. "You shouldn't need to overcome things simply because it's what humans do, though. You should want to do it because it's what you want. If you're not a very physical person and you're okay with it then leave yourself well enough alone. You should always do your best to be the best representation of yourse-"

Her voice stopped when he took her hand. It may not have been the most intimate embrace that she'd ever experienced, but his reaching out to take her hand was the first voluntary physical act she'd experienced in a long time. Not wanting to frighten him, Laura tensed her grip slightly, her fingertips lightly giving his hand a squeeze. It was black out, but Laura could see just fine. He looked uncomfortable. Still, if he was trying to overcome his... discomfort with physicality, who was she to deny him the chance? She might be good practice for a real person.

In that moment she also realized that it would be easy for L to be the target of less savory individuals. He was delicate, that much she could see, and there were cruel predators in every world, no matter what. Laura was not going to hurt him, nor would she allow anyone else to do it. When he was standing next to her, though he still had a slight slouch to him, he was taller than she was, and that was slightly surprising. He had seemed so small when he was sitting down. The notion that she could snap his neck with her bare hands, one handed if she wanted to, really bothered her. Humans were so delicate, and this one was exceptionally so. How could the universe, with all of its gods, allow a monster like herself to walk among them?

"I feel alone, L," she said, looking ahead as they walked. Her eyes were watching for anything dangerous. Not even a stump or a rock in his way would be allowed to hurt him. "I'm the only being I know who's died and is still walking around. There's not a one, other than Jesus, who's a god so it doesn't really count, that I can name. Alone is a natural state for someone like me." Shrugging, she bit her lower lip. People here would notice that she looked unwell, but she could go anywhere. There was no husband to protect or former family and friends and acquaintances to hide from. "Lonely, though, that would be a little bit more difficult. I cannot name anyone besides me who's died and come back, but I can name somebody who likes my company. That seems better than finding someone familiar who doesn't even want me around."

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