InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "He said I was 31...I'm 30"

Astor Bennett wants to kill things (miami_angel97) wrote in mirage_rpg,
@ 2009-01-18 03:22:00

Entry tags:

astor bennett, complete, day 29, sam winchester

Who: Astor Bennett, Sam Winchester, and OTA
When: Day 29, after the snowball fight
What: Astor needs to warm up with some hot chocolate and eat something
Rating: Probably PG at most
Status: Complete

After the snowball fight, Astor was tired, wet, cold, and hungry. And wired. She knew if she went back to her room, she could take a hot bath and ask the Planet for something to eat, but she was in a good mood. She'd all but forgotten that she was so upset about leaving Cody behind involuntarily. The people here, so far, were really nice and they knew how to have fun. Even the grown ups did!

She wandered around the resort for a little bit until she could smell the unmistakable scent of food and headed inside. It was a restaurant of some kind and there were weird stone statues standing around almost at random, but Astor ventured further in and took up a menu. A short scan of it gave her a big grin.

"Hot chocolate with lots of marshmallows. And a brownie. A big one that's really gooey and warm," she said to no one really in particular before plopping down into one of the booths and shaking the melting snow out of her hair.

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miami_angel97
2009-01-28 10:12 pm UTC (link)

Astor gave Sam a small, grateful smile. "Thanks," she said, blushing slightly at having acted like such a baby.

"There's probably nothing you can do. I'm not allowed to kill anything here, huh?" she asked.

When he asked about the cat, Astor's face went more red and she looked down, letting out a sigh. "Cody and I tied it up and we were gonna kill it with Dex's chainsaw, but Mom caught us before we could and made us let it go..." she admitted.

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psychic_sam
2009-01-28 10:16 pm UTC (link)

Again, Sam froze. She was going to kill a cat with a chainsaw? "Whoa, you must have really hated that cat," he said, trying to put some humor into the situation. Sam was starting to think that he couldn't help this kid. What she needed was a doctor and an insane asylum or something. Well... At least she was showing restraint. She didn't seem crazy. She just seemed like she had some... issues she had to work on. And keep in check. "You said Dexter was teaching you about this Shadow. Does he do that? Kill people?"

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miami_angel97
2009-01-28 10:23 pm UTC (link)

"No, but we were getting headaches and the Inside Shadows were taking over. When that happens...we don't know what to do. When we were smaller, we used to burn ants with magnifying glasses in the sun but now that we're older...we need more. I figured, since Dexter wouldn't teach us, we'd do it ourselves and it's just a cat..." she explained, looking back at him with a frown.

He didn't understand. He never would. She shouldn't even be talking to him about it...

"No, Dexter wouldn't teach us. He said we were still too little and we had to wait," she corrected. "But he was gonna."

She shifted uncomfortably on her side of the booth. Dexter would ground her so bad right now...but she couldn't make herself stop talking. She needed someone to confide it to and Sam said he wasn't scared of her. So it would have to be him.

"Yeah, but Dexter only kills really bad people who hurt lots of other people but the police can't catch. But it's okay, Dexter works for the Miami police, so he knows who deserves it," she said.

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psychic_sam
2009-01-29 09:23 am UTC (link)

Sam shifted a little bit, pondering about what he should say. This was a kid who didn't seem to have some... thing inside of her. It seemed to just... be how she was. Sam didn't understand how someone could want to kill someone just for the hell of it but he'd seen other people do it before when he'd been captured by the cannibals. And this was a kid. Maybe if he tried to do something, help her somehow, he could do something to alleviate it or stop it.

Maybe she was like this because of this Dexter person. Maybe he'd done something to her? Although what, Sam wasn't sure. She seemed to looked up to whoever he was. Maybe it was some weird Stockholm syndrome sort of thing.

Sam sighed a little. "I don't quite understand it," he admitted honestly. "But you want to know something? I think I might have an inside shadow too. Not the same as yours, I don't think, because I don't want to kill things but... I know it's there and it worries me sometimes. I'm afraid it might make me hurt people who don't deserve to be hurt at all, especially people I'm close to."

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miami_angel97
2009-01-29 05:42 pm UTC (link)

Then it was Astor's turn to shift slightly with discomfort, because Sam took what seemed like a very long time to say anything. He looked like he was thinking and Astor's stomach turned nervously at the possibility of exactly what.

"You...have an Inside Shadow, too?" she asked uncertainly. "How do you know it's there if it doesn't make you want to kill things? I don't understand," she admitted, feeling a little frustrated and upset that it seemed like he was trying very hard to be on the same wavelength and she couldn't quite catch him, anyway. The last bit, though, caught her attention and she looked down, nodding. "Sometimes, I'm scared of that, too. When the Inside Shadow is sleeping, I get scared. I never told anybody that it scares me before... Sometimes, I worry that when it wakes up it will want me to hurt Cody or Mom. I never worry about Dexter; I think my Inside Shadow would be smarter than that, but still..."

The little girl's voice trailed off and she sighed. "But what do I do? I'm not allowed to let it do anything here, anyway, because the rules said so...so what do I do make the headaches stop?" she asked. "If I can't do anything and nobody can teach me, then I want to make it go away."

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psychic_sam
2009-01-30 01:46 pm UTC (link)

"I dunno, kid," Sam admitted honestly, feeling a bit frustrated himself for not knowing what to do to help. "I don't know exactly what it is so I'm not sure how to fix it. I'll try and do what I can to figure it out though, okay? How about this? You keep tabs on me and I'll keep tabs on you and we'll both make sure we don't do anything bad here." Of course he meant his part of that more, not excepting a little kid to be able to stop him if he went crazy, but he wanted to make her feel like... like she could be doing something, something to distract her from this shadow, if she wanted.

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miami_angel97
2009-01-31 07:32 pm UTC (link)

Astor looked back at Sam, scrutinizing him for a moment, unsure. "Okay," she agreed reluctantly after a short pause. "Will you promise and tell me when you figure out what to do to help me?" she asked.

Her stomach was positively aching now. She should've listened when he'd said not to eat too many sweet things. That last brownie had done her in. "I don't feel so good," she admitted, rubbing her belly. "I think I should go lay down. I'm in B214. So you know where to find me when you figure it out," she said slowly, standing and closing her eyes; her stomach felt over-full and heavy. "Thanks anyway. You can have the rest of the brownies, if you want," she added.

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psychic_sam
2009-02-03 04:07 pm UTC (link)

Sam held up three fingers. "Scouts honor," he joked, even though he hadn't been a Boy Scout. "I promise," he said, softer and more serious. "That's what I do, help people."

He got to his feet when she did, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Nah, I think I'll leave them here. Someone's bound to come along and eat them. I'm in C111 if you need anything before then or if you just want to talk," Sam offered. "I hope your stomach ache doesn't last long. Ask for some gingerale if it doesn't settle, that might help."

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miami_angel97
2009-02-03 04:51 pm UTC (link)

Astor looked up at Sam and smiled a little, nodding. "Thanks," she said softly. "I hope you can help me."

She appreciated that Sam was giving her his room number in case she needed anything. Especially since Sam was the only person Astor had really and truly told about the Inside Shadow.

"I might," she replied vaguely, not necessarily wanting to commit to it, but also not wanting to brush off the offer.

When he told her what to do to settle her stomach if the tummy ache lasted too long she nodded and gave him a small smile again. "Thanks," she said. "I'll try and remember that."

With a soft sigh and then a groan of discomfort, Astor took a few more steps toward the door. "Thanks for not being scared of me," she told him as she looked over her shoulder. "See you around, Sam, Sam Winchester," she added with a little smirk before she headed out the door and made her way back to her building. Hopefully a nap and maybe some of the ginger ale Sam had mentioned would make her feel better and then she could go out and play in the snow later.

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