Well it's official. I've done my best to stay the hell away from all this. When my internet turned on me, I jury-rigged my type-writer to get my files typed up so I wouldn't have to deal with this crap. Alas my coworkers didn't accept my makeshift papers, so I had to cave and finally access this thing.

My name's Henry Phillips, formerly Hephaestus.

Let's get this over with.

We need to talk, lad.

Hey, love. Doing anything special on Thursday?

Most persistent spam ever I'm assuming that this isn't for a Viagra support group How the hell do you do this?

Hello. I got tired of deleting the email from my inbox and this seemed to be the only way to get it to stop. I'm not entirely sure what comes next but I hope it doesn't result in more random emails from mysterious sources. Is there a next step to this or am I free to reclaim my internet connection again?

Spam blocker, my ass Not entirely sure I should be posting on a message board that an email with the aura of a Hitchcock film surrounding it sent me to, but I'm kind of afraid of what will happen if I don't. wouldn't be the first What is this all about?

[Filter: Mousai]

Girls, are you all right? Both of you? And the little ones? When they took your sister, I feared the worst...

"Geez she was nervous. She hadn't done this kind of thing in ages."

Hola, Guapo. Got a minute?

[It was the true New Year, so Mab had stayed awake to honor it. Not that it was a hardship for her. Her time was the night. Then the house had done something slightly... disconcerting. At midnight, it changed. As she was descending the large double staircase, the house took on a decidedly run down appearance. The lights flickered and the once silent steps began to creek under her feet.

She stopped to puzzle over the change. that's when she realized she felt suddenly almost imperceptibly lighter. She glanced down to find herself wearing not her smart business chic attire, but a delicate, yet intricate creation of what she recognized as spider's silk and the softness of thistle down.

Her lips pursed. She had just about had it with the surprises her hosts were dropping on her head. And a colorful swear came out of her mouth, in Gaelic.]


Téigh trasna ort féin!

I hope everyone else is noticing this pattern here. None of this is coincidence.

These sons of bitches better fucking hide from me.

[It had started like a normal day. Then, oddly, he had gotten a letter at his work office. Not that he never got mail, but this one seemed... different than the usual test results and paperwork ping pong. Opening it, he found the letter was coated with a curious white powder. A few hours later, illness set in, and the doctor became a patient...]

...Watch your mail. I think mine was just poisoned. I'm staying at the hospital until further notice. Good thing this isn't my weekend to have the girls...

So! I had a bit of a run-in on the subway today. I think I might stop taking it altogether. Work's not that far away. I may call off for a day or so.

Um. But, I got grabbed. And not like...on accident, or because somebody stumbled or anything like that. It was a grab and a pull. I didn't know what he was doing until he started dragging me backwards. If it wasn't for a few other guys on that particular train, I might have ended up in pretty bad shape. :|

But like, the weird thing was the argument that took place afterwards. I mean, the guy that grabbed me started trying to get in my face about homosexuality and trying to tell me I was a horrible person for a number of related reasons. I don't know. But it was scary. x| I tried to stay out of the way. It's not like I did anything to him. I didn't even realize he existed until he touched me. Then he called me a rent boy.

Anyways, I'm just going to sit at home for a little while with some tea and...I don't know. Lock the doors or something. What is with people?

Okay here's the deal. I'm going to give this group thing a chance. But I have a few conditions:

1. Do not call me "Athena". If you have to have a name, you can call me Pete.
2. Stop trying to sell me on this whole past life/being a god nonsense. I won't rain on your parades, if you don't rain on mine.

Okay, so I want to know who this is and what you want with me. Obviously, you’re some tech-heavy underground group, because I have never seen coding like this before. And I’ve played inside some very intricate software.

So just to be clear, unless you plan on offering me a lot of money, I’m not interested in being recruited to whatever this is. I pick my own career. So if that ruins your plans, then too bad. Stop hounding me.

Hello, my lovelies.

So, one week ago, I came in here as Nate. I've gathered some knowledge since then, so now I'm supposedly Eros, god of erotic love and la-dee-da. Sad to say, I don't remember much--well, anything. I figured I best get up to speed on the people I used to know, I guess. So, uhmm, I'm just in NY, if anyone wants to play a round of "guess that god" with me. There'll be drinks, of course--mostly, for my sake.

A most happy first Mother's Day to my sweet Muses!

And to all the other lovely mothers-to-be out there.

[The first thing visible is Tanner's smile, as he's a little too close to the camera, still trying to adjust it as it blinks on. He bites his lip for a moment, looking for the little light indicating that it is indeed on, and once he finds it, he gently settles himself back into his computer chair.]

Hi. [He smiles, shyly. His face overtaken with a hint of pink.] I'm Tanner. You might know me as...[He stops, and worries his lip between his teeth a little, looking decently self conscious by now.] Ganymede.

I've looked through the other posts here and some of them are really-[He stops again, and just shakes his head.] Um. But...I think I kind of get the gist of this place? I'm not sure. [He shrugs.] But I figured I'd make a video post, because I...don't think I'd know how to introduce myself just typing. [There's a bit of a giggle.] It doesn't...carry tone well, you know? And I wanted to be friendly.

So, hi! [He waves, and smiles brightly at the camera, before winking, and cutting the feed.]

Okay, I think I can handle this. I'm a lot more in-control than I was before March.

But, one of the things I used to be able to do is astrology. You know, reading horoscopes and the fates of nations in the stars. This is really, really embarrassing given what I do now.

Anyway, I know who on the Greek pantheon could see the future, but my mythology is weak, and we didn't really go to church either when I was a kid, so I have no clue if any of you are prophets. Maybe, we could try working together.

I should be free to travel, now that the semester's over and I have all my grading done. If all else fails, there's always Skype.

It sounds really silly, but maybe we can find out something that would suggest a solution.

Happy birthday to you, my dear Erato. And many more of great joy.

[Apollo had gotten used to Melpomene needing her occasional time to herself. But three days had passed without hide nor hair of her, and the sun god was becoming understandably worried...]

Melpomene. Please. Wherever you are, tell me. Tell me. I'm not angry. I just want you to come home where I know you're safe. Please.

Uhmm... Hello? So, I got this email, and here I am.
I don't know if I've missed a worldwide memo here or something, because I have no idea what this is. I mean, I get a lot of anonymous mail—you know, fan mail, proposals, and such—but this is creeping me out more than usual. I must have also missed some technological advancement, since I'm pretty sure printers had to be turned on before they spewed out papers.

Just to make things clear, I'm Nathaniel Gallagher, age 21, male model yes, contain your orgasms.
Again, if anyone could kindly explain the situation, I'd be very much entitled to rewarding someone with a nice dinner or a glass of wine.