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Tweak says, "What, and YOU'RE so smart?"

Rose Tyler (made_my_choice) wrote in memebells,
@ 2012-02-24 20:48:00

Entry tags:

[rated] pg, [rated] pg13, [rated] r, [type] age related, [type] awkward, [type] characterization, [type] choices, [type] crack, [type] fight, [type] fluff, [type] humor, [type] love, [type] shipping

First comes marriage then...

The Parenting Is Hell meme

So it's finally happened, after however long planning (or not planning at all) nine months of carrying it (or looking) and more hours than we'll think about of labor (or a grueling last stage of the process) you have a wee little bundle of joy in your arms. You think it might be smiling! It's so magical and adorable and wonderful, you just know your life is going to be different forever. From now on everything is going to be amazing and perfect and fuzzy and wonderful and storybook and...

No.

No it isn't.

You just signed up for hell in a swaddling blanket.

Step One: Post with your character, including name, series and prefs in the subject, especially if you'd prefer the cliche-prompts or not.
Step Two: Others go to RNG and roll up a scenario, and optionally a relationship to share the suffering with.
Step Three: Optionally NPC or bring in a different person to play the child, if you want, or just discuss it without having the child there.
Step Four: Suffer.

Prompts 1-10 are straightforward, prompts 11-20 play with kidfic cliches.

1 - Shut it offffff | Baby is adorable except when you haven't slept in a week because it. won't. stop. crying. whenever you to go bed. How is it so LOUD?

2 - BABY COME BACK | Teaching baby to walk is a brilliant idea until it's up and running around everywhere, trying to trip you up every time you're not looking. What have you unleashed?

3 - So you're a wise guy huh | Good news! The tyke can verbalize what it wants without just crying all the time. Unfortunately its favorite words are 'no' and 'mine'. Arguing is fun! Are you seriously getting baited by a toddler?

4 - JUST END IT | You didn't sign up for a hellion like this. You never signed anything! They can't make you put up with it! Just drop it off at Disneyland and run or something, MICKEY CAN HANDLE IT! THE MOUSE MUST BE QUALIFIED BY NOW! YOU WON'T TELL, HONEST! YOU CAN START AGAIN!

5 - And the award for worst parents go to | IS IT BLEEDING? I THINK THAT'S BLOOD. You only looked away for a second and now it's BLEEDING. That's a LEGIT SCRAPED KNEE. Or maybe even something worse, who cares, ~~baby~~ tyke is hurt and it's totally your fault. WORST PARENT EVER. YOU ARE THE WORST.

6 - WHAT THE HELL, SCHOOL? | Did your baby just come home with a bruise? Oh, hell naw your kid is not going to be bullied. YOU'LL GET THAT KID ARRESTED OR SOMETHING. RIGHT NOW.

7 - YOU CAN BLAME IT ALL ON ME | WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY RAN AWAY? Ran WHERE? WHY?! COME BACK! COME BACK RIGHT NOW!

8 - I'M NOT CLEANING THIS UP | Did they seriously think you weren't going to double back and make sure they weren't holding a party while you went out on your holiday? Not smooth, kid.

9 - But it's cool! | You are apparently no longer cool enough to be seen in public with the kid who you buy everything for, and also you're ruining their life by being stuffy and all parent-y and saying no. Discuss.

10 - Oh yay a--wait WHAT | In 2.5 minutes your baby will be marrying off with someone and moving away. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? IT'S BEEN LIKE FIVE MINUTES. THIS ISN'T FAIR!

11 - What did he just say? | That baby is...really, really smart man. Is that even possible? It'd be cute if it weren't so unnerving.

12 - Mirror image | When they said baby was a chip off the old block, they weren't kidding. It's like living in a house with TWO of your significant other. Or two of you. Or a frightening yet uncanny match up. That's so weird

13 - In their shadow | Did baby just save the world? Without your help? What the hell was in your coffee this morning?

14 - A certain set of skills | OH NO Baby has been kidnapped! Someone is going to be paying a ransom, but is it going to be you or the kidnappers?

15 - WHAT HAVE I SAID ABOUT SPOILERS? | Baby just came back from the future. Apparently you HAVE a baby in the future. You'll never guess who with! Wait why did they come by again?

16 - How do you spell that? | Your sappy and thoughtful name was great until they're being picked on ~~in school~~ EVERYWHERE for having six names. What were you even thinking?

17 - Cheaper by the... | What, are you like trying to start your own country or something?

18 - That's just not fair. | Your kid is like perfect at EVERYTHING and incredibly beautiful and enchanting and charismatic and everyone loves them. To an absurd degree. Where did they even get the rainbow eyes gene? Good for them, but come ON it's like a unicorn just vomited them up. Is there any shared genetics?

19 - But Vegas PROMISED! | Wait wait wait. The kid is your secret lovechild with WHO? SOMEONE IS GOING TO BE GIVING YOU ANSWERS RIGHT NOW. ~~IT WAS ONE TIME~~

20 - So no pressure then? | Your baby is the chosen one. Begin dealing with it. It probably involves trying not to die tragically every weekend.

Optional Relationship:

1 - Significant Other: You're in this together.
2 - Friend: Did you sign up for baby-sitting duties and late-night calls from frazzled parents?
3 - Parents: Looks like karma has finally come around!
4 - Family: Another child? THE child? A sympathetic sibling?
5 - Stranger: Oh you shouldn't have asked anything.
6 - Enemy: Delight in all the details of their suffering!

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

	amyctic 2012-02-26 07:54 am UTC (link)
	Fine. Just know that I hate you. [ UGH HERE GOES RICK TO BE ALL PARENTAL. Val and Matt look both amused and nervous, which turns into straight up nervous when Rick looks at them with his "I am not fucking around" face. ] So. Care to tell me whose idea this was? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	1/2 Because AAAAH, NEED TO SWITCH ACCOUNTS icemaidenwinnie 2012-02-26 08:08 am UTC (link)
	No you don't. [Hey Rick. Guess what. You doing this gets you a +1 cheek kiss and a Winnie who's sneaking upstairs to slip into something less like clothes and more like lingerie.] (Reply to this) (Parent)

	2/2 vodkaeggrolls 2012-02-26 08:10 am UTC (link)
	[CUE THE DOE EYES.] Matt said we should have the party. And distribute flyers. And people brought kegs and it just kind of went downhill from there andI'msorryaboutthechinacabinet. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	amyctic 2012-02-26 08:18 am UTC (link)
	She's lying! I never said anything about flyers, that was all her idea! [ Matt stands up and glares at Val, and Rick runs his palm over his face. ] I don't even know why I asked, neither of you were going to tell the truth. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vodkaeggrolls 2012-02-26 08:30 am UTC (link)
	Daaaaaad. I wouldn't lie about this, but Matt would. And he asked about having friends over the other night and I spent most of the night in my room studying. [Which is all lies and slander, but like hell is she going down for this alone.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	amyctic 2012-02-26 08:37 am UTC (link)
	[ Before Matt can even say anything, Rick just levels Val a Look and crosses his arms. He ain't buying what you're selling, kid. Wanna try that again, but truthier this time? ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	vodkaeggrolls 2012-02-26 11:53 pm UTC (link)
	[But that was truthy...in her opinion.] Well. Maybe I put a little planning into it. But it's not like Matt didn't plan some of it too! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	amyctic 2012-02-27 12:09 am UTC (link)
	You do realize that all your excuses only make you look guiltier, right? [ Matt smirks at Val, and then Rick turns the Look on him, and he shuts up. ] Both of you are grounded for a month. Hand over your phones, iPods, iPads, laptops, whatever other doohickies you have that might in any way give you any enjoyment. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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