InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "SHAFLOOBAMAGOOBIN"

Captain Jack Harkness (foreverjack) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2017-05-06 17:07:00

Entry tags:

aidan reilly, ianto jones, jack harkness, jezebel mephistopheles, jim kirk, kanji tatsumi

Day 426 / Video and action / Open (backdated to morning)
Video
[Jack comes on the screen in front of the store previously known as the Plush Rump and now proudly sporting a brand new sign stating Captain Jack's Exotic Emporium.]

So. I took this place over a while ago and I was intending to have a great big grand opening day, but what with one bit of drama and another I haven't got as far with the renovations as I'd like to.

So instead I'd like to invite you to come and help me do the place up! I've found some paint and fabrics and things, but a little extra manpower wouldn't hurt, and I could use some people to help set out the stock as well. Any helpers grateful received!

Action
He'll be at the store all day, working on getting it set up.

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Action

foreverjack
2017-05-07 04:36 pm UTC (link)

Kanji... is not someone he expected to waltz so casually into a sex shop, but he's not going to turn down any offer of help. He smiles, and sets down his paintbrush.

"You're a bit late for demolition, I'm afraid. We're at the setting up stage now!" His eyes light up as he remembers Kanji's area of special skills. "But if you could sort out the drapes for me, that'd be fantastic!"

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stupidcuteshit
2017-05-07 04:52 pm UTC (link)

He would absolutely not be waltzing in if he knew what this place was but it's too late, he's here now and there aren't enough items on display yet to clue him in, not that he would recognize them anyway.

"Oh yeah, I can totally handle drapes." He picks up the pile of fabric and shakes it out to get a better look at them. "You want these ironed? Or just hung up?"

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foreverjack
2017-05-07 08:56 pm UTC (link)

"Do you think they need ironing?" he asks, because he figures Kanji's a better assessor of such things than he is.

"I don't know, just do whatever you think they need to look great! I don't just want them round the window, I want some framing that alcove there - I'm going to put something impressive there - and perhaps some kind of hung up and draped over tables or something? I want it to look opulent and inviting, you know?"

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	stupidcuteshit 2017-05-07 09:10 pm UTC (link)
	"Naw, this'll straighten itself out once I got it hangin' up." He's already putting his height to use and starting work around the windows. The work opulent causes a moment of pause but he can handle inviting and impressive so maybe it's something like that. He's good a decorating, he's got this shit down. "So what're you gonna sell here once it's open?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	foreverjack 2017-05-08 09:12 am UTC (link)
	"Fantastic." He watches Kanji for a moment, and then heads back to his painting. "Oh, you know, a lot of the same stuff, plus a few more unusual and exotic items I've come across in my travels." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	stupidcuteshit 2017-05-08 01:31 pm UTC (link)
	"So it's like a souviner shop?" He pulls out his always present pocket sewing kit and gets to work mending a small tear in one of the drapes as he asks his innocent question. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	foreverjack 2017-05-10 07:14 am UTC (link)
	He chuckles, still with no idea that Kanji's managed to get this far without realising what his shop sells. "In a way, I guess, yeah. Captain Jack's sexy souvenirs - bringing you pleasure from other planets and times!" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

stupidcuteshit
2017-05-10 11:18 am UTC (link)

"Huh?" He hasn't quite connected the dots yet simply because Inaba is such a small town. They've got nothing like this store there so he has no idea what Jack's taking about. The closest thing he's ever experienced was Rise's strip club shadow world which was not actual real and which he handled weirdly better than everyone else. Still he's staring at Jack now not the curtains, totally feeling like he's missing something here. "Wait, what kinda shop is this?"

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	foreverjack 2017-05-12 07:17 am UTC (link)
	He gives Kanji a rather incredulous look, because honestly? This is for real? Oh god, how does he handle this? Being Jack, directly, of course! "It's a sex shop," he says matter of factly. "Porn, costumes, sex aids... anything that can make your fun in the bedroom even more fun." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

stupidcuteshit
2017-05-12 02:00 pm UTC (link)

"Huh??" He sounds like a broken record but in his defense he didn't even know shops like this were a thing, much less any of the merchandise Jack just mentioned. At most he's aware of porn but probably hasn't seen any and maybe this is part of his problem if he was self-aware enough to realize that. How can he be expected to know what he likes if he's never been exposed to any of it?

So there's the usual confused terror on his face when confronted with this sort of subject but Jack just might be able to spot the tiniest bit of curiosity beneath that all as well. "Why would you need all that stuff?"

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foreverjack
2017-05-12 05:36 pm UTC (link)

You see, the thing is, at Kanji's age Jack already had a good deal of experience. He'd already started at the Time Academy and been exposed to John Hart, who had widened his horizons exponentially. And okay, like Kanji he'd grown up in a small town without much access to a lot of things - but it had been a small town in the 51st century, which had... somewhat different priorities in the realm of sex education.

"You don't need it," he shrugs, even though he's aware this is a very bad sales tactic. "Well, except lube, which is kind of an essential for gay sex. But the rest of it, it just adds to it, yeah? Adds a bit of spice to things. Or gets things going if you're going solo."

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stupidcuteshit
2017-05-12 07:40 pm UTC (link)

If they did a sex ed day at Yasogami High chances are Kanji skipped it the way he skips al his classes. Add in his dad dying when he was eight and it's a pretty safe assumption that he's never had any sort of talk about these things with anyone. He almost does his usual frantic blushing and retreating thing but you know what? Jack has been really freakin' cool about all this stuff so far and he's never made fun of him of made him feel bad about himself and this is probably the only chance he's gonna get so screw it. Time to be a man and ask the hard questions!

"I, uh, don't know anythin' about that kinda stuff. Like any of it. At all. Nobody ever told me. I kinda, uh, looked around the other day when they made me a girl but that's basically it." He's blushing alright but at least he's meeting Jack's eyes which is a good sign he's taking this seriously.

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foreverjack
2017-05-12 08:19 pm UTC (link)

Jack seriously had no idea Kanji was this innocent. Mainly because their conversations have already encompassed crushes on cross-dressing friends and coming out as gay, and in his experience those things usually come after learning about the facts of life, not before.

However. Kanji isn't shying away from this, even though it's clear he's not altogether comfortable, and so he's determined to do this right.

"You don't actually know anything about sex?" he asks, because it'll help if they're both on the same page here.

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	stupidcuteshit 2017-05-12 08:29 pm UTC (link)
	He's still bright red but looks more determined than nervous, like he's working to psych himself up for this conversation the way he would with a fight. Maybe not the best comparison but he, it's working for him. "Uh. No." There. Now that's out in the open. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	foreverjack 2017-05-12 09:15 pm UTC (link)
	It's fine. He appreciates the kid's spunk (metaphorically) in facing talking about it, especially knowing how closed off most twenty-first century humans are about it. "Okay," he nods, very matter of fact, and lifts an eyebrow. "Have you at least jerked off?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

stupidcuteshit
2017-05-13 01:55 am UTC (link)

"DUDE WHAT THE HELL?!" You can't just ask people questions like that! Okay, wait, Kanji, remain calm. He's having this conversation dammit this is happening!

"Uhh, yeah. And, uh, the other day then they made me a girl I, uh, I looked. At stuff." Stuff he was obviously too terrified to touch. And that's basically the end of the Kanji sex list outside of the missing robots here and that time Teddie smooched him in the King's Game back home which doesn't count 'cause Teddie's like a weird bear or something.

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foreverjack
2017-05-13 12:21 pm UTC (link)

He does his best to clamp down on the grin that tries to spread across his face at that typically twenty-first teenager reaction and waits for Kanji to calm down.

"Okay, so you know the basics of how it all works, then. I'd encourage you to spend some time just exploring that side of it, honestly. Get used to your body and how it reacts to different stimuli. It can really help with your confidence when you then get together with someone else."

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	stupidcuteshit 2017-05-13 01:39 pm UTC (link)
	He clearly has absolutely no idea how to respond to those instructions. Not that he really has any guess about that to expect from this conversation to begin with but still. "Uh, okay? I mean I guess I live alone so I can try that. Uh, good talk?" That was the end right that's how sex works he's an expert now and he can leave? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

You're really enjoying this, aren't you?

foreverjack
2017-05-14 11:47 am UTC (link)

He gives Kanji an amused look. "When I've unpacked, I see if I can find you some helpful literature, eh? You could also try searching for help on the computers here, but it's sometimes useful to have something on hand to give you a few tips as to what to try.

"Also, lube. I'll be whatever you're using won't be anywhere near as good as this stuff." He heads for an open box on top of the pile at the back of the store [of course it's open and easily accessible; he always has uses for lube!] and brings a bottle back to Kanji. "Should help with any extra exploration you want to do!" he suggests, with a wink.

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I am but let's be real he needs this :p

stupidcuteshit
2017-05-14 01:16 pm UTC (link)

Okay, he's gotta just man up and ask his questions here because he's still got no real idea what Jack's talking about. Well, sort of. Literature sounds helpful and he can get that later although he has no idea what to expect with it. "What like books? Do I gotta study or somethin'?"

He accepts the bottle awkwardly, looking at it like he's never seen it before since let's be real he probably hasn't. "Uh, exploration? What's that supposed to mean?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

He really does! :-D

foreverjack
2017-05-15 07:08 am UTC (link)

Okay... It really has been a while since he was trying to advise someone this green.

"You don't have to do anything, but you're missing out on a whole world of pleasure if you don't," he suggests gently, and turns the bottle in Kanji's hand so he can read the blurb on it, which mentions that it's eminently suitable for anal use.

"You'll find just dumping a bit in your hand will make jerking off a whole lot slicker, but this stuff is also particularly useful if you want to try fingering your ass."

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	stupidcuteshit 2017-05-15 12:41 pm UTC (link)
	Wait. Wait. Wait. Hold up. "If I want to try WHAT?!" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	foreverjack 2017-05-16 11:11 am UTC (link)
	He sighs, even though he totally saw that one coming. "Kanji, please tell me you know how guys have sex with each other?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	stupidcuteshit 2017-05-16 12:53 pm UTC (link)
	"I only just figured out how it works with girls like last week, okay?" And that was only because he got turned into one. It's becoming increasingly apparent that maybe this is the source of all his panicked reactions to sex. He just doesn't know anything about it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

foreverjack
2017-05-18 07:13 am UTC (link)

Oh god. He takes a deep breath. "Okay, I'm really going to find you a leaflet with pictures as soon as possible but in the meantime... There are lots of different ways of getting off, okay? But the most common, if you're a het couple, is for the guy to stick his dick inside the girl's vagina, right? Feels good for both of you and, just in case you didn't know, it's how you make babies." You know, if you're not stuck in a virtual underwater dome.

"If you're both guys, you have to change things up a bit because no-one has a vagina. So one of you fucks the other's ass." He holds up a hand. "I know it can sound a bit icky or painful but believe me, if you do it right, it can be the most amazing thing ever."

Once upon a time, he'd be offering to show Kanji the ropes but right now, with the way things are with Ianto? Nah-uh.

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