InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "...but you are only a boy."

Kitty Pryde (Shadowcat) (kitty_has_claws) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2017-03-18 23:13:00

Entry tags:

:mingle, aidan reilly, ianto jones, jack harkness, kitty pryde (aoa), nico di angelo, pavel chekov (au), suzaku kururugi, ton phanan

[Day 419] [Mingle / Closed to Defense Force]
[Kitty waits until the team gathers into the Defense Force headquarters. Once upon a time this team was big enough that having a meeting inside would have been uncomfortable. That hasn't been true for awhile. She loudly taps a pen against a desk a few times to get everyone's attention before she starts.]

You were probably hoping I scheduled this surprise meeting so I could deliver a long speech at you, and your hopes are being fulfilled. [A pause as she once again considers not moving forward with this.] I have been thinking about the Defense Force and where it started and how it's changed and the direction it could or maybe even should move in for awhile now. We're a smaller team than we once were and I've been wanting to refocus our efforts more on the investigation side of things, but our numbers don't reflect that. I think a lot of us are here because we do something similar back home. We protect. We fight. We have a team to support us. We wanted that here too, but I'm not sure the needs of this prison support that now. I'm not sure they ever did. I'm not saying we haven't had successes. We have. I'm proud of what we built and what we've accomplished even if it's surprising how completely unpopular a team for saving lives and getting people home is. [She's taken the brunt of that message too. Complaints and criticisms from what they did to stop Spike from attacking people to just not getting everyone home within a few months time against impossible odds.]

I think it's time for a fresh take on this idea. And the thing is... It's not going to be with me. [Just looking out at everyone.] I don't think leading a team is what I should be doing right now. It's meant a lot to me. It's been the only thing that got me through some hard times. But it's not here for that.

I've talked to Jack and he's not going to be moving into the role either, so where this leaves us is kind of up to all of you. And before anyone volunteers I just want to say take some time to think about it. Think about whether you have a direction and a passion for it. Also, it won't be my call to make what happens next, so you'll just have to see if others will follow if you want to lead. Which means, for the moment, there is no Defense Force.

[And with that her speech is over. Time to see what comes next.]

(OOC: Discussion post.)

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	kitty_has_claws 2017-03-20 10:42 pm UTC (link)
	Does celebrating feel right here? [Genuinely asking. She thinks no, but she's also not entirely sure what to do with herself. You have to watch her every second, Ton. She'll turn serious on you in an instant!] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wraith_7 2017-03-21 03:39 pm UTC (link)
	Yes because I know you and you'll get all grumpy otherwise and tonight isn't the night for it! [Oh he is all over this seriousness situation.] Change isn't bad so let's go party. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2017-03-21 09:52 pm UTC (link)
	Are you okay with Chekov coming? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wraith_7 2017-03-22 09:49 am UTC (link)
	Yes but I'm very offended you didn't tell me from the start a large crowd was allowed so I could throw your a sappy and terrible retirement party. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2017-03-22 11:17 pm UTC (link)
	Chekov is one very small man. Where did you get a large crowd out of him? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wraith_7 2017-03-24 02:51 pm UTC (link)
	I rounded up. Now come on, pick your party destination so we can go irritate any other patrons there. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2017-03-24 11:06 pm UTC (link)
	Karaoke. You need to sing that I'm the wind beneath your wings. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wraith_7 2017-03-25 03:06 pm UTC (link)
	I don't know that one but the title sounds like it's about our friendship so I'm on board. Let's go! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2017-03-25 03:46 pm UTC (link)
	[She shakes her head.] I'll let Chekov know he's been drafted and meet you there? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wraith_7 2017-03-27 02:10 pm UTC (link)
	I'll go farm up my voice with some vocal exercises. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2017-03-28 11:41 pm UTC (link)
	Perfect. I'd hate for your voice to be out of shape. [Of course now she'll be late and she might be coming in hot because she found out about Reid's secret message about the Defense Force and realizing that everyone she knows kept it from her for a week until Chekov just admitted it tonight.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wraith_7 2017-03-30 09:13 am UTC (link)
	[Oops. He doesn't know he's in trouble yet though so he just grins and waves. He has a table for them and drinks with lots of tiny umbrellas and stuff in them.] Ready for our duet? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2017-03-30 11:03 pm UTC (link)
	[She heads in by herself. Is Chekov coming later? Maybe. But for right now he gets Kitty who slides into a seat without a smile.] Tell me why you didn't tell me about Reid's secret broadcast. [A little sharp. Very to the point. Not nearly as furious as she was when she first found out.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

wraith_7
2017-03-31 12:21 pm UTC (link)

[Yikes! He makes a little switch flipping gesture that often accompanies his comment about turning the honesty setting on.] Because he asked me not to and even though it feels like you got me in the divorce he is still my friend. Also let it be noted that before I stridently defended you, the Force and your leadership and decision making skills to him I asked him to justify why he was asking about all this and if it had anything to do with what he felt about you. If I hadn't been satisfied with his answer I wouldn't have discussed it.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kitty_has_claws
2017-03-31 07:51 pm UTC (link)

[Speaking of satisfactory answers...that was a pretty good one. It also helps that Chekov got the brunt of the full force of feeling betrayed as she learned about and processed what happened. Not so helpful for Chekov of course, but good for Ton.

The fact that she required all this defending parallels what Chekov had said about Reid's approach too. Not that she ever thought he was lying to her, but confirmation is nice since it's been well over 24 hours and she can't back hack it now.

She reaches across to the glass she assumes is for her and takes a drink before she says anything.] Your friend is a manipulative douchebag who put you all in a tough position. [So she'll do her best to keep the betrayal and anger she's feeling flowing to the appropriate source and not the people he put in the middle.]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

wraith_7
2017-04-01 03:10 pm UTC (link)

[Ha! He knew she liked him best.]

He also talked me down off a roof once upon a time so I think I'm allowed to remain neutral here. That's how these things work. And for the record he just asked people how they felt the DF was doing. I wouldn't call that a hard position, at least not from my point of view. [Although to be totally honest Reid hadn't been too thrilled with his support of the organization but now is not the time to mention that.]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2017-04-01 03:29 pm UTC (link)
	He asked people to keep it a secret from me and the others he locked it from. I'd like to think it was at least a little difficult to betray my trust. [Getting a cigarette out of her pocket.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wraith_7 2017-04-01 04:49 pm UTC (link)
	An issue I would like to make it clear I called him out on. [And that's about as much detail as he's willing to share regarding their conversation. It's tricky, being friends with two people who are at odds like this.] You know me, Kitty. Do you really think I'd have told him anything you considered a secret? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2017-04-01 04:54 pm UTC (link)
	No. What do I even consider a secret? [She's so open about everything it makes having people keep things from her hurt all the more.] It's okay. You don't have to defend yourself. I get it. I don't blame you. I blame him. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wraith_7 2017-04-02 12:47 pm UTC (link)
	[Oh this is a fun position to be in.] Does it change your decision to step down in any way at all? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kitty_has_claws
2017-04-02 05:38 pm UTC (link)

You mean do I want to get everyone together and say, let's keep going out of spite? [Okay, there is a tiny part of her that is tempted.] Nah.

I just want him out of my life. [Which is definitely the first time she's ever wanted that. She's never been mad at him for what happened or spiteful toward him while she was miserable. She loved him more than she loved herself, so when they fought or when he questioned her choices or acted distant or hurtful she internalized it as her fault. She kept trying to give to him even after their multiple breakups. She reassured him over and over whether he wanted or needed that or not that he was still loved and respected and wanted in her life even when he made her feel small and wrong. She kept chasing after a connection only to find out he was trying to cast doubt on her and the organization she'd poured herself into behind her back? It was the cold slap of betrayal she needed to break her out of that mindset.]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

wraith_7
2017-04-03 09:27 am UTC (link)

No, just meant you shouldn't obsess over it. It doesn't change what you were going to do. Don't let it bug you. [He does not believe for one second that she will actually do that.]

I get wanting to run away but this place makes that impossible. You've got to find some way to live with him that isn't going to make you lose your mind. [Not very good advice, and probably not something he would be able to listen to, either. He knows how hard she worked, both at the relationship and the DF and they're always going to feel wrapped up together.]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kitty_has_claws
2017-04-03 09:34 am UTC (link)

Oh, sure, why didn't I think of that? Just don't let it bug me that he tried to explain to Chekov why he and I shouldn't be together now or that he was talking about the Defense Force behind my back with misinformation and asking people to keep it a secret.

[She holds the cigarette without lighting it yet.] I don't want to run away. I was here first. If he comes for me again he's the one getting shoved back. If he stops trying to secretly manipulate and undermine my life then we'll get along fine.

[Lighting.]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	wraith_7 2017-04-03 10:57 am UTC (link)
	Alright, lol agree that first part was out of line and is new information to me. [Why are you two like this uuuggh?] I'll try to find a way to both mention that and stay out of your business. It sounds like a challenge worthy of my superior intellect. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kitty_has_claws
2017-04-03 11:02 am UTC (link)

Ton, you don't have to do anything. [Taking a deep drag off the cigarette.] I don't need to hear his lies or whatever way he'll try to turn it back on me this time. I'm just done. I can't believe I wasted all that time being miserable over him and worrying over him. Afraid that my misery or my happiness might accidentally make him feel bad. [Shaking her head at herself.]

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wraith_7, 2017-04-03 11:12 am UTC

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kitty_has_claws, 2017-04-03 11:16 am UTC

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