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Tweak says, "Merry Cruisemas!"

Kitty Pryde (Shadowcat) (kitty_has_claws) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2017-01-23 17:54:00

Entry tags:

ianto jones, jack harkness, kitty pryde (aoa), pavel chekov (au), peter parker (stnas)

Day 412 The rewind
[Video/Action | OPEN]
So that...happened.

I've been here for awhile and for those of you who are on the newer side of things, I wish I had some keen insight for you, but that's just one of the games they play. It was kind of a remix of some of their old ones. [She's seen people remember more future before and seen people think they were connected to others in new ways. She had a husband for a day once before.] I think it's just important to remember who you are without their toying and lean on people when you need to. We're in this together.

I don't think what we saw was a real future even if parts of it seemed like they were. There were some conflicting outlooks. Of course, that hasn't stopped me from trying to remember exactly how we overthrew them in mine. [It hasn't stopped her from thinking about a lot of things it brought up.]

Anyway... [She hopes you're all okay. She would have been better at saying that yesterday when it was still twenty years from now. So, she just ends the feed there and you might find her out and about looking particularly thoughtful. Maybe absently walking through solid objects including you! As one does.]

[Action | Closed to Chekov]
[Before her broadcast or any other calls there is just a girl waking up next to a boy. Everything feels right at first. She snuggles closer and the details don't feel important. Are they still in the future? Was yesterday a dream or an experiment? It doesn't matter yet. She's only half awake and warm and comfortable.]

[Video | Closed to Jack]
Hey, so, how are things? [Concerned but also unsure how to ask if yesterday ruined his relationships for real.]

[Video | Closed to Ianto]
Need a coffee? [Code for "let's talk."]

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kitty_has_claws
2017-01-24 09:01 pm UTC (link)

[The kiss is warm and natural and full of affection. Her hand slides back into his hair and there's a smile on her lips when she pulls away. Her response to his words begins so naturally.]

I love...

[But then she catches herself, biting down lightly on her lip in the process.] I, um... [No, no, no, not this.]

I'm going to wait. [Looking at him with incredibly apologetic eyes. That calm is seeping out, replaced by worry. The thing is, she does love him. Right now in this moment she knows she loves him, but what if it's because of yesterday's influence? What if she doesn't feel the same in a week? That would hurt more than this, right? She really hopes so because this hurts a lot.

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	candothat 2017-01-24 09:10 pm UTC (link)
	[Oh. Oh, he messed that up. Do over! Except there isn't a do over, there's just Kitty looking sad. He brings a hand up to cup her cheek, tension returning full force.] I didn't mean--I'm sorry, yes, you can wait. You can wait indefinitely if you like, I don't mind, you never need to say it back. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kitty_has_claws
2017-01-24 09:16 pm UTC (link)

[She looks into his eyes and it's overwhelming. Now he's worried that she's hurting because he's hurting and it's a big circle of worry and hurt. What happened to all that chill twenty years of experience was giving her?

She hides her face against his shoulder and wraps her arms around him as best she can. She's not crying. That's something, right?]

I'm sorry, Pasha. [It's as close as she can get to saying it without saying it. The name she only ever used for him as his wife when they were alone.]

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	candothat 2017-01-24 09:37 pm UTC (link)
	[Mutual affection really shouldn't result in this much hurt. Feelings aren't fair. He hugs her close. Her use of that diminutive makes his stomach flip and knot and do all sorts of other acrobatics.] It's okay. Everything is fine. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2017-01-24 09:45 pm UTC (link)
	[It's true. Feelings are rough. But this hug and his voice are bringing her back to center.] I could have handled that better. [She nuzzles against his neck.] It was a good future. [Not perfect. It was hard on him, but it felt like a good version of something semi-realistic.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

candothat
2017-01-24 10:02 pm UTC (link)

I could have spoken more carefully. [There are a lot of coulds here. He could let her go, too, but that's not happening.] Maybe we could both be as quick to forgive ourselves as we are each other.

[Quietly:] It was. [Right now he thinks that, eventually, he could have been entirely happy there with her even if going back home had never become a possibility.] It was very good.

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	kitty_has_claws 2017-01-24 10:09 pm UTC (link)
	I will if you will. [Or at least she'll try.] Our tribble was cute. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	candothat 2017-01-25 03:51 pm UTC (link)
	I will try. [He's not any better at it than she is.] Yes, Pushistyy. [The name makes him smile, but it only lasts a moment.] The... ah, our arrangement was... interesting. [You know, the arrangement that involved other men. It was fine at the time, but Chekov had also had years to adjust to the idea and he knew that Kitty loved him.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kitty_has_claws
2017-01-25 05:06 pm UTC (link)

[They had such a good thing going with Pushistyy. They were smiling. What happened? Where did all that go?]

Yeah... I never would have guessed that one. I guess that's how you know it's one of their games and not the actual future. [It felt right to her at the time. Great even. It gave her freedom she felt like she needed while still being completely in love with him.] It seemed more like something Jack would have worked out instead. [Speaking of Jack... She quickly looks over at her wrist. Blue, not black. It didn't count against them.]

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	candothat 2017-01-25 11:10 pm UTC (link)
	[Chekov is determined to be a killjoy!] You wouldn't want something like that if the bands were gone? [Now he lets her go so he can see her face. He's... curious. A little confused. This is the first time he's noticed evidence that there was something between Kitty and Jack. (The meaning behind her band check is, however, lost on him.)] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2017-01-25 11:17 pm UTC (link)
	Isn't figuring things out with one person challenging enough? Good! But you know... [Still a little challenging even if you're only struggling with yourself.] Pavel, I can't tell you what I might want twenty years from now, but right now I just want to be with you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

candothat
2017-01-25 11:40 pm UTC (link)

[He nods and takes a moment to analyze his feelings. Is he worried that she'll leave him and take up with Jack? Afraid that that glimpse into a possible future means that he's not enough for her?

Honestly... not really. Not the way he thinks he could be.

He leans closer until they're nose-to-nose.] I want that now, too. How we are, like this... I'm happy with you.

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kitty_has_claws
2017-01-25 11:50 pm UTC (link)

I'm happy with you. [Tilting and dipping in to connect a kiss. She has some concerns. It's not about leaving him for Jack or anyone else, but there is a vague sort of concern that the dream got some of the details right. That they won't be as sexually compatible as either of them would hope. But they haven't even had sex outside of the twenty year jump and it feels odd to start asking about how often he wants something they haven't really done as themselves. And why is this even a big deal? It's not like she's been with anyone since Reid anyway. It's been months. Other than yesterday and the "marriage" to Jack and maybe some dreams. But mostly it's been a long time. Surely it wouldn't be a big deal.]

There is something you should know about yesterday though. [You appreciate honesty, right?]

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	candothat 2017-01-26 12:11 am UTC (link)
	[Yes, good. She's also happy and there's a kiss and this seems like a decent place to be after his earlier misstep. Concerns about the future can wait for the future; Chekov has barely had time to figure out the present. But the present has suddenly become more worrying.] What is it that I should know? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2017-01-26 12:16 am UTC (link)
	I was... I used the agreement we had yesterday. [And her heart will just wait to beat until after his reaction whatever it is.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

candothat
2017-01-26 12:31 am UTC (link)

[He gives her one of those long looks that means he's thinking too hard about some new piece of information.]

Ah. After we... [Um. Intellectually, he's fine with this. The part of his mind that doesn't listen to reason is not so fine, however, because this is clear evidence that he isn't enough.] That was the purpose of the agreement, yes. It only makes sense that you would... er, take advantage of it.

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kitty_has_claws
2017-01-26 12:39 am UTC (link)

[Do you know how much she wants to tell him she loves him right now? So much. But she believes in her reasons for not from before. Besides, it might feel manipulative to do it now and that's not what she wants. She wants to reassure him for that "After we..." She thinks she knows what that means.]

I really wish I hadn't. [Threading her fingers with his.] These things are going to happen here sometimes. The mistletoe bots, the shared dreams, waking up with new memories... Maybe we should talk about how we want to handle it as a couple?

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candothat
2017-01-26 12:56 am UTC (link)

[It's best that she doesn't. Not now that he has accepted that that will need to wait.]

I understand. [He looks down at their interlaced hands and gives hers a squeeze.] None of these things can be controlled and neither of us should feel responsible for them when they happen. [Not that emotions work that way.] What makes sense to you? You have had to navigate a relationship with these obstacles before.

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	kitty_has_claws 2017-01-26 01:01 am UTC (link)
	You mean the relationship that self destructed? I could say the opposite of whatever we did, but you're not Reid. So we should probably figure out what works for us. I guess for me I'd want honest and clear, but not detailed. And reassurance. I just always want to be able to talk about things. What about you? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	candothat 2017-01-26 01:13 am UTC (link)
	[A wince.] Yes, that one. I can do that, and I would want the same--honesty and discussion, and to know that you still [not love, what was it she said] find me important. And if you have doubts or if I upset you, I would want to know that also. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2017-01-26 08:16 am UTC (link)
	[She hugs him.] You are very important to me. I want to be with you. [It's hard to imagine anything else after yesterday.] Do you want to know who it was? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	candothat 2017-01-26 10:38 pm UTC (link)
	[He hugs her back.] You are with me, right now. [Right? And it doesn't seem right to hug her while asking who she slept with in that odd future place, so he pulls back.] Please, yes. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2017-01-26 10:54 pm UTC (link)
	I am. [Almost as if reading the brackets! She just really wants to reassure him any way she can. She hates putting him through this. Not that she planned a 1-day resort in weird future land where hopefully none of that is happening.] It was Jack. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	candothat 2017-01-26 11:21 pm UTC (link)
	[It was almost a question! As much as he would like to deny needing reassurance (because he does understand that these things are inevitable here, truly), his emotions and his brain are not operating in tandem.] Aha. [A nod. Of course it was Jack, he should have guessed that.] You're close to him. I know that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kitty_has_claws
2017-01-26 11:33 pm UTC (link)

[She understands that. She'd want reassurance too. They agreed on reassurance! It's the plan. She threads her fingers into his.] Yeah...

[Is she going to do this? She probably shouldn't do this. They said no details, but the thing is Jack goes beyond one glitch. Experiment. Experiglitch.]

He's a close friend and there has been an attraction for awhile. Part of that is that everyone kind of does because of the future pheromones? Maybe you've noticed it? [Is that strange to ask? Does it make it better if he has?] And one time we spent a day convinced we were married. [So not actually their first time having sex. Also the shared dreams. It's kind of been a lot.] After that things were a little more confusing, but he wants to be with Ianto and I want to be with you.

[That was so much to drop on him. She fights the impulse to squeeze his hand too hard. She's nervous.]