InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Holy underwear!"

Ianto Jones (readystopwatch) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2016-05-16 14:10:00

Entry tags:

charlotte charles, ianto jones, kitty pryde (aoa), link

Day 376 | Video | Action
[Private Video to Kitty]

Hello. Don't suppos you'd like to get some coffee? [No, he in not dressed for beach volleyball, that is not a Ianto activity.]

[Open Action]

[If he's honest Ianto has been lying a bit low the past few days, ever since the whole thing where his sex life got announced to the whole dome. Plus there have been dreams and monsters and al the other usual stuff for this place. But today he can be found out and about at his usual places; the Defence Force headquarters, the library, running errands. It's probably about time he stopped hiding and started getting back to normal. Run into him anywhere today if you'd like.]

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	kitty_has_claws 2016-05-17 03:17 pm UTC (link)
	[He has always been good about it, but she still feels like he shouldn't be? Not with this. It was all out of her hands, but she still feels guilty about it all. Maybe because of the lingering feelings it stirred.] I'll be there soon. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	readystopwatch 2016-05-17 03:37 pm UTC (link)
	[He'll be there at a table by the window, mug of coffee steaming in front of him.] I would have offered to have you come over and make some of this but I suspect you'd have said no to that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2016-05-17 04:08 pm UTC (link)
	...Why do you say that? [Sitting down across from him.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	readystopwatch 2016-05-17 04:31 pm UTC (link)
	Call it a hunch. [A smiles as he elaborates.] Jack's there. I worried it might make you uncomfortable, although I suspect he won't be able to resist the lure of running about shirtless on the beach for long. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2016-05-17 05:52 pm UTC (link)
	[Her eyes fall to the table.] I guess he told you? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	readystopwatch 2016-05-17 06:18 pm UTC (link)
	You know it doesn't bother me, Kitty. [No, really, it doesn't. Even without the whole Spike thing he knows there have been other people. Not since they got here, but before, at home. It's who Jack is, and he's long past being bothered by it, especially under these circumstances.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2016-05-19 03:10 pm UTC (link)
	It bothers me. [For Ianto's sake and Reid's. And, yes, Jack's and her own. ...Even Chekov's. Spike can go stake himself though. How did her life get this complicated?] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	readystopwatch 2016-05-19 10:18 pm UTC (link)
	[Poor Spike.] I suppose I should rephrase that and clarify. It doesn't make me uncomfortable that you and Jack shared something like that. I know it's more complicated, of course. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2016-05-27 01:34 am UTC (link)
	[She looks down thoughtfully for awhile before speaking up again.] What... what was it like realizing you had feelings for Jack and Spike at the same time? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

readystopwatch
2016-05-27 12:14 pm UTC (link)

[About the same as realizing he had feeling for Jack and Lisa. It's not a pattern he's proud of.] Miserable. I suppose until we slept together that second time I was just ignoring it, or pretending it was a crush or something left over from the engagement day or just us being good friends. Waking up that morning after it though and realizing there were going to be consequences was awful. I felt like I couldn't just ignore it because obviously that hadn't worked before. I didn't imagine this blue band thing was going to happen at all, I just thought I'd have to pick which person I care about I was going to hurt more.

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kitty_has_claws
2016-05-27 12:47 pm UTC (link)

[Who would get hurt more... She hadn't thought about it that way yet. Jack has Ianto and Spike. He doesn't need her. Not really. And Reid... Things have been good, but they haven't been good. It still feels fragile, like she's waiting to take too heavy a step and crack it down the center and hear "I cant do this" again. But that's how she feels. How does he feel? Does he want to be with her as much as she's wanted to be with him? She knows he loves her. She isn't going to let herself doubt that anymore, but that doesn't mean they're what's best for each other. They might be. Once upon a time they felt so good together, but she also wonders how much of that she's turned rose colored in contrast to the pain she felt of losing him. It could be that Pavel will hurt the most. Is that how she'd make her choice? Is she really thinking of it as a choice now? She should probably say words at Ianto, huh?]

Miserable sounds...accurate.

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readystopwatch
2016-05-27 01:02 pm UTC (link)

[It's how he saw it and even now he can't believe things have worked out the way they did. In that horrible, stressful morning all he'd been able to think about was the realization that he did are about both of them, that this wasn't just a one night stand or a mistake. And that he didn't want to pick one and tell the other they didn't matter as much. He recognizes that expression on Kitty's face just now because he's fairly certain it's how he looked then.]

Do you mind if I ask what's going on? This seems like it's more than just your dream with Jack.

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kitty_has_claws
2016-05-27 01:13 pm UTC (link)

I... I was with a lot of people that night. And not just... [Not just sex. She had dream sex with Cross once and she didn't walk away from it feeling like this. The connection had been entirely physical and while it may have put a new layer on an already complicated dynamic it didn't really change anything or make her feel afterward.]

I told a lot them that I loved them. [She looks down at the table.] Ton, Pavel, Jack.

[Softly.] I do love them.

But I didn't love them the way I love Reid. Except... [Now it's hard to be sure. It's hard to separate how good and right the dream felt from reality.] I don't know. Maybe in a few more days it'll just... go away. [That's not going to happen is it?]

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readystopwatch
2016-05-27 01:37 pm UTC (link)

[He's been there. It doesn't mean he's an expert or he can solve her problems but he's absolutely been there.] I can't tell you what will work for you or what you should do. All I know is I did exactly that after a similar situation, when they got me and Spike together that first time. And maybe without interfering from them we never would have let it happen again but it did. Ignoring things didn't make them go away. And that's not to say you should try for a relationship like what we have because God knows it's been a lot of work and I still don't know if it's going to blow up in my face or not. But I don't think you should just hope it will go away. Talk to them, at least. Just ignoring it won't help.

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kitty_has_claws
2016-05-27 02:41 pm UTC (link)

Well, you never know. Ignore it for a few days and maybe I'll end up disconnected from the virtual reality anyway. [Is that kind of like hoping to be hit by a bus? Okay, she doesn't really hope for it. She just feels overwhelmed by it and would much prefer to just be fighting an army of hostile robots. Is that too much to ask for?]

I already talked to Reid once after I realized Chekov had feelings for me. [Should she be sharing this?] That time I told him I didn't know how I felt about Chekov for sure, but I knew I loved him and wanted to be with him. And it felt right and true at the time.

...Now I...I don't know. I do love Reid, but it doesn't feel like it's as simple as it was then. When I saw Chekov again yesterday... [Looking down.] I still felt so much for him. [She still feels a lot for Jack, but she's almost grown comfortable with that? With knowing they don't have a future. God, when did she even get a future to worry about?]

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readystopwatch
2016-05-27 03:01 pm UTC (link)

Getting lost won't fix things. Jack vanished and came back, if you recall, and having Spike be there while he was gone certainly helped create the situation we're in now. Plus I'd miss you if you vanished. [Who would he have relationship talks with if she was gone?]

I feel like I should be able give advice but I don't know that I can. So far this new thing with the three of us seems to be working, but it's not perfect. Jack and Spike aren't actually involved with each other, you know. [Does she know? He's not sure what assumptions people are making about the three of them at this point.] Maybe they never will be. But even if they are balancing three people in a relationship is hard. So I can't just say yes, go out and try that when I don't even know it will work with us. I know I'm glad it happened and it's been worth all the trouble so far but I don't know if it would be for everyone.

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kitty_has_claws
2016-05-27 03:12 pm UTC (link)

[He gets a soft smile at being told he'd miss her.]

Jack told me... [Should she be saying anything? It wouldn't be a secret from Ianto surely. Maybe Jack just had it wrong or...it's a surprise? She just trails off. Maybe Ianto won't notice.]

Um, I mean, I don't think I could do it, and I really don't think Reid could do it. [Pavel? Maybe. She's not sure. But one out of three isn't great. God, why is she even thinking about this?]

[She sighs and runs her hands through her hair.] I just want to love and be loved and for it not to hurt so damn much. [Maybe this should all be telling her that being alone is better, but she's felt so alone these last few long months. It's not helping.] Maybe the dreams were just my way of expressing what I want to get back to with Reid, but now... [Even if that's all it was and it easily could have been it's become more. It's made her look at people in was she never meant to look at them.]

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readystopwatch
2016-05-27 03:26 pm UTC (link)

About their dream? [He can fill in the blanks. And he doesn't mind her knowing details. She's one of the very few people he's ever felt comfortable enough with to discuss those details anyway.] It's a step and I think it's a good one but getting both of them to actually set aside their pride and attitudes and all the rest of their baggage in the real world? That may take more time.

[He gives her a sympathetic look.] That might be it. I don't know how much control we had over the dreams and how much was just our subconscious but you want to be with Reid, or you have at least. Maybe it was some sort of manifestation of that. Of not wanting to be alone.

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kitty_has_claws
2016-05-27 03:51 pm UTC (link)

Mm, no, [Might as well? Jack wouldn't have told her something he didn't want Ianto to know without at least pointing it out, right?] before the dreams he told me that Spike wanted to be sexually active with him too. I don't think anything had come of it yet. I was surprised.

[She just nods.] Life just feels much too short to be alone. [And the nightmares have a way of getting more frequent the longer she is. She just avoids sleep as much as possible, only going when she's finally too tired to do anything but pass out.]

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readystopwatch
2016-05-27 04:00 pm UTC (link)

Oh, I think they both want to, or at least Jack wants to and Spike isn't opposed to it. It just may take awhile before it happens. You know them, they're both stubborn. And immature. [A brief smile flashes across his face and he looks like he's biting back an example of that immaturity. She can push for details if she wants, or just make her own assumptions.]

I'll agree with that. It shouldn't be as hard as it is not to be alone.

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	kitty_has_claws 2016-05-27 04:07 pm UTC (link)
	[She can see him looking amused by something and normally she would follow up, but as it is she just looks at him, thoughtful before sighing softly.] Spike and I had another fight yesterday, or I don't even know what to call it. Things just get stupid between us, and I'm feeling pretty done with trying. I'm glad you're happy though. Or trying for happy. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	readystopwatch 2016-05-27 05:21 pm UTC (link)
	[Yeah the passive aggressive hickey war the two of them are currently waging on his body in place of a conversation is probably a topic beat saved for another time.] I don't expect you to like him for my sake. I know how he can be. Frankly you're taking it better than I suspect most people will. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2016-05-27 05:56 pm UTC (link)
	[She could almost predict that herself if she was going to think about it.] Who are you worried about taking it badly? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

readystopwatch
2016-05-27 06:11 pm UTC (link)

Honestly? Just about everyone. I don't think a lot of people have realized it yet since they didn't call him Spike when they announced what had happened. To the extent of my knowledge you, Rebecca and Chuck - and by extension Ton Phanan - are the only ones who actually know about it all. Spike's not exactly popular here and I know a lot of people don't like him or at the very least don't trust him. I really don't know how it's going to go over with anyone else.

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	kitty_has_claws 2016-05-27 06:22 pm UTC (link)
	Right. I guess there wouldn't be many people who'd make that connection. I could say something that might make you feel better, but it would probably make you feel worse in other ways. Let's just say I don't think you'll get a lot of people holding it against you. [They didn't with Tyki. Not even when maybe they should have.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

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readystopwatch, 2016-05-27 06:24 pm UTC

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kitty_has_claws, 2016-05-27 06:26 pm UTC

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