InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Orifices are not playthings."

Kitty Pryde (Shadowcat) (kitty_has_claws) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2015-01-05 07:35:00

Entry tags:

carol peletier, damon salvatore, kitty pryde (aoa), korra, nathan harris, spencer reid, spike, tyki mikk

Day 305 : Action : Mistletoe OPEN!
[Kitty is up and out early. Working out in the training center and after a shower making some rounds through the prison. It may not be strictly part of her Defense Force schedule, but it helps clear the head and keep her active which is nice after the whole spilling every little thought thing that happened just a couple of days ago.

Of course there are some new obstacles out in the prison today to keep things interesting.]

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	thisiscalm 2015-01-15 09:20 am UTC (link)
	[ Really need to ask the hard questions, don't you. ] For now. Kitty, I... it's not because I don't want to be with you. I need to clear my head, I need to... I need to finish this or we don't stand a chance. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kitty_has_claws
2015-01-15 07:31 pm UTC (link)

[Hard to ask, hard to answer, hard to hear. She's not even sure what to make of him feeling this is better when she's this miserable. There's a long, quiet pause before she responds softly.]

I'm just worried about what you'd be coming back to. [She hasn't exactly felt like herself through all this. Doesn't know if she's close to being on the mend or close to another edge to fall from.]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2015-01-16 12:53 pm UTC (link)
	[ They're not about to be horribly squished by a barrier or anything right now, right? No? Bots still staying away? A miracle. ] Kitty... [ How does he even respond to that. ] What do you want me to do? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kitty_has_claws
2015-01-16 08:30 pm UTC (link)

[She feels bad about saying it the moment it comes out. It's honest, but he's already said it wasn't working for him and he's going through a lot too, so it isn't like he can make it better for her even if he was the one who made it worse.

She just looks away, shaking her head a little.] Nothing. I'm sorry. It's just...been an emotional day I guess. [As opposed to all the other mornings she'd wake up and just look sadly at the empty side of the bed.]

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thisiscalm
2015-01-17 11:00 am UTC (link)

[ He wasn't the one who made it worse. Diane Turner made it worse. The wardens. His job or maybe even Maeve, but not him and he's getting sick of feeling like she's blaming him for it. It was never his choice and she always, always said that he had to live his life back home and then he did and now look what happened.

It's not fair. Any of it. ]

I guess. [ A beat. ] I, uh... I should go. Don't want to stand still in the same place too l-

[ Kiss! ]

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kitty_has_claws
2015-01-17 03:28 pm UTC (link)

[It's a hard thing. It isn't that she blames him for falling in love at home or for being devastated by what happened. And she understood him being sad and disconnected and angry at times with her afterward. She didn't mind the fighting. It was the leaving that crushed her. They both have a history of being abandoned even if it wasn't always by choice and resulting issues from it. Having him choose to break up with her—even if it was for good reasons—hurts. It hurts every day.

She loves him and she wants to be with him, but she's also afraid he'll leave her again even if he does now. And she hates how broken she feels because she wants to be there for him and everyone on the force and everyone in the dome.

She closes her eyes and bites her lip when she hears the bot's voice. She doesn't want to kiss him. Not like this. Not when it's not his choice. Not when it could be the last.]

Right on cue.

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thisiscalm
2015-01-18 10:06 am UTC (link)

Should've know, huh.

[ There's a thrill of excitement in his stomach, curdling sourly with the reluctance of the whole situation. Of being trapped here, of being forced to kiss her when he doesn't want to, of remembering how the previous mistletoe bot days have been. Once upon a time, he could seek shelter with her. Now, he wants' to be as far away as possible. ]

Kind of... nostalgic.

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kitty_has_claws
2015-01-21 02:26 am UTC (link)

[She brushes some of her hair back behind her ear and manages to meet his eyes. She doesn't want to make this harder than it already feels which hasn't exactly been her strong suit with things involving Reid lately.]

Not our first rodeo. Can't be weirder than the first time we were trapped in one, right? [When she liked him and hadn't admitted that to herself or anyone else yet.]

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	thisiscalm 2015-01-21 09:43 am UTC (link)
	No, I suppose not. You're not going to knock me on my ass again, are you? [ Keep it light. This is no big deal. Never mind how his pulse speeds up. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2015-01-24 03:01 am UTC (link)
	Play your cards right. Wait, was it something you wanted or didn't want? [Trying to joke. Is it working?] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2015-01-24 09:19 am UTC (link)
	No thank you. Maybe it worked out for the best in the end, but I'd really like to be able to sit. [ It's kind of working. Not so much for the bot tho, seeing as it gives him another encouraging nudge of the barrier. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2015-01-24 08:45 pm UTC (link)
	So, sitting for our kiss then? No chance of getting knocked over that way. Might feel like a really empty picnic? [She holds her breath a little when she reaches out to take his hand in hers.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2015-01-25 10:10 am UTC (link)
	Just keep the violence to a minimum, MIss Pryde. [ He takes her hand. It's very easy. Surprisingly easy. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2015-01-25 08:50 pm UTC (link)
	I make no promises, Profiler. [Been awhile since she called him that. His hand is getting a squeeze which feels a lot like the squeezing going on in her chest. Nervous. Excited? It's basically a mess in there and it has been for awhile, but she can do this. One word in front of the other.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

thisiscalm
2015-01-26 09:24 pm UTC (link)

[ This right now feels deceptively good but even though he knows it won't last past this moment because he's such a worthless, broken piece of human refuse, he can't help but feel a thrill of excitement. Even... happiness? Maybe? Is this what that felt like?

He thinks it did. Even more so when he takes a short step closer and leans down with practiced ease to kiss her. ]

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kitty_has_claws
2015-01-27 03:43 am UTC (link)

[She's been waiting so long to do this again and afraid it would never happen, but it feels almost jarringly fast when it does happen because the sooner it starts the sooner it's over and how is she going to let go again? But all the anxiety falls away as she sinks in against him, kissing back with all that longing and loving that's built up. Also her lips. They are pretty important in the kissing process.]

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	thisiscalm 2015-01-27 07:08 pm UTC (link)
	[ It would be very strange if she kissed him with some other part of her body. Also inappropriate, depending on the body part. Better keep it to lips and, as is so difficult to avoid, heart. His is beating pretty frantically right now, making his stomach tighten and squirm with the torrent of emotions. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2015-01-27 07:17 pm UTC (link)
	[She shouldn't be pushing into the kiss, but this isn't about what should or shouldn't be. It's just about what must be as she lives this beautiful, horrible, unfair moment. She's definitely kissing with her heart more than anything else.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2015-01-28 09:05 am UTC (link)
	[ Should and shouldn't are definitely words that are currently awol from his vocabulary. It's so easy to relax into the kiss, push and burrow and drown in the moment because everything that came before it and everything that'll come after will never be as good as this. Better to just not stop. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kitty_has_claws 2015-01-28 08:09 pm UTC (link)
	[She is really good at holding her breath and has no intention of stopping. He smells so good which is really just that he smells like him. And even with the occasional encounter or talk she misses him—mind and body.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2015-01-31 10:12 am UTC (link)
	[ You never really realize just how lonely you are until you get a taste of what it's like to not be lonely. A little bit of desperation blends into his movements and he brings his hands up to cup her head, fingers curling into her hair. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kitty_has_claws
2015-01-31 09:19 pm UTC (link)

[She knew it was bad but this is even surprising her and she can't pull away. Caught up in the riptide now and just holding on as tightly and long as she can. It's not about sex. He's not in danger of her ripping or phasing off his clothes here in public with their mistletoe bot already long gone now that they've fulfilled their obligatory kiss. But she needed deeply missed the intimacy that comes with this.]

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thisiscalm
2015-02-01 10:23 am UTC (link)

[ No, this isn't about sex. It's possibly as little about sex as something can ever be and that makes it harder, in some ways. If it was about sex, he could blame being lonely or needy or biology or a thousand other things that would allow him to brush all this away.

But the swell isn't in his pants but in his heart and that makes it impossible to step away. When he steps away, this ends. Possibly for good. ]

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kitty_has_claws
2015-02-01 04:12 pm UTC (link)

[The phrase "for good" needs work. That would definitely be "for bad." And as her lungs burn in her chest and her heart beats out of control she feels that time getting closer. Finally, the kiss breaks, but she doesn't step away—not yet. Her arms are wrapped around him and her lips are still close as they pull in much needed oxygen. If only the lack of oxygen was the only thing making her feel light headed. And in her mind a voice repeating, don't go. Please don't go.]

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thisiscalm
2015-02-02 10:10 am UTC (link)

[ He's not going. If he goes, then what? Where do they stand? It was hard enough floating around in limbo but at least then he wasn't forced to make a decision. This crossed a line. Not the kiss, but the duration, the intensity, all those unspoken words traded between them. So little has changed within him that he's scared of going back to her again — what if it's too soon? What if he can't do it? There's no way she'd give him another chance if he retreated again and even if she did, he'd be even less able to trust it.

So for now he stays here, arms still wrapped around her, fingers curled desperately. ]

I miss you.

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kitty_has_claws, 2015-02-02 01:37 pm UTC

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thisiscalm, 2015-02-04 09:39 am UTC

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kitty_has_claws, 2015-02-04 03:44 pm UTC

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thisiscalm, 2015-02-06 12:09 pm UTC

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kitty_has_claws, 2015-02-06 03:53 pm UTC

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