InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "E-MC-squared"

Spike (chipswiththat) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2014-08-16 16:11:00

Entry tags:

anya jenkins, brian moser, deanna troi, doctor facilier, euphemia li britannia, ianto jones, jack harkness, kitty pryde (aoa), rebecca crane, spike, zatanna zatara

284 // voice
[ The feed starts long before anyone speaks, lingers in eerie silence broken by the clicks of a stubborn lighter, the dry crackle of tobacco being set alight, the hollow intake of smoke in dead lungs. The trembling exhale, functioning as an initial indicator to just how rough and ragged his voice is when he does speak. Strained, like he's been screaming himself raw or perhaps the measured and stilted words are a product of him trying to keep himself from doing just that. ]

Are you happy now? Is the world all bright, full of puppydogs and rainbows again? Messing with things you don't understand... makes you feel powerful, doesn't it? Like you're in control. Like you know something. Let me tell you a lit'le secret: you don't know shit. You've never been in control and you never will be. Always somethin' else, calling the shots... whether you realize it or not.

The real monsters aren't out there... but in here. [ Punctuated by the hollow knock of knuckles against breastbone and then he cuts the feed. ]

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	friendly_fire 2014-09-01 08:55 pm UTC (link)
	[She considers the announcements she's heard lately.] The leader was punished for assault and injury. Was it related? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	chipswiththat 2014-09-01 08:58 pm UTC (link)
	Doubtful. I hardly saw her face in there. Fairly certain that had nothing to do with me, personally. [ He was a bit out of it at the time, but he didn't miss Tyki talking about the incident. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	friendly_fire 2014-09-02 01:05 am UTC (link)
	I see. [Except she doesn't. Not entirely. She wants a better picture of what's been going on. Apparently something is very wrong here and that organization was important to Gino and Suzaku who were from her world!] Do you know why they did what they did? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	chipswiththat 2014-09-02 07:18 am UTC (link)
	...You really don't know anything, do you? You haven't heard? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	friendly_fire 2014-09-04 02:13 am UTC (link)
	Rose and Tyki spoke of something happening to you, but I don't know why it happened. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	chipswiththat 2014-09-04 09:06 am UTC (link)
	[ Well then. ] I attacked people. No one died. Far as I know, no one even got all that hurt. [ Key word being far as he knows. He didn't care enough at the time to check. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	friendly_fire 2014-09-05 02:51 am UTC (link)
	Oh... [Softly.] Why did you attack them? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	chipswiththat 2014-09-05 08:32 pm UTC (link)
	Because it's what I do. [ They've been over this before. ] I'm a vampire. It's in our nature. That I stayed quiet this long was a bloody miracle. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	friendly_fire 2014-09-08 12:13 am UTC (link)
	Do you still want to hurt people? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	chipswiththat 2014-09-08 04:00 pm UTC (link)
	[ Why are you asking such difficult questions. ] ...I do. It does. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	friendly_fire 2014-09-08 09:58 pm UTC (link)
	It? [Gently prodding.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	chipswiththat 2014-09-09 09:03 am UTC (link)
	The demon. [ Which is him, but also not. Identity crisis on top of it all, how great. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	friendly_fire 2014-09-09 06:11 pm UTC (link)
	[Why does this always feel so familiar? She thinks of Nathan for a moment.] So part of you doesn't want to? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	chipswiththat 2014-09-09 08:42 pm UTC (link)
	That's what souls do. [ Quietly. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	friendly_fire 2014-09-14 02:56 am UTC (link)
	And that's why they did it? To make it so you could fight the demon? So you could protect people? [From yourself.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

chipswiththat
2014-09-14 11:00 am UTC (link)

[ Oh, that makes him laugh. A rumbling, hacking sort of laughter, not entirely dissimilar from a cough. ]

No, you stupid bint! They did it to control me. To make sure I damn well can't do anything again — can't even stomach the bloody synthetic stuff. It's not about fighting the demon, it's about chaining it to something it should never be chained to.

It's torture. Pure and simple. That's what it was always designed for and no matter what these lunatics you put your trust and safety into think, that's what it still is.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

friendly_fire
2014-09-15 01:24 pm UTC (link)

I am not a stupid... [what?] I'm sorry you're in pain, but I'm trying to help and understand. [The sternness slips from her voice rather quickly. Not because standing up for herself is difficult, but because it barely feels warranted in the moment. He doesn't really seem angry at her, just the situation. And speaking of that situation...]

Even stomach. [She repeats softly.] Are you not eating at all?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	chipswiththat 2014-09-15 08:15 pm UTC (link)
	'Course I'm not. How could I? [ It's a quiet response. Thin and broken. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	friendly_fire 2014-09-21 03:23 am UTC (link)
	But what happens if you don't? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	chipswiththat 2014-09-21 07:30 am UTC (link)
	...Nothing you need to worry your pretty lit'le head about. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	friendly_fire 2014-09-21 07:46 pm UTC (link)
	Spike. [Listen to that tone. She is clearly worrying that pretty little head as we speak!] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	chipswiththat 2014-09-22 04:06 pm UTC (link)
	What. [ And he's honestly too tired to deal with all this misplaced worry. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	friendly_fire 2014-09-24 04:36 pm UTC (link)
	Is there something I can do to help? Or the wardens maybe? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	chipswiththat 2014-09-25 09:12 am UTC (link)
	No, there isn't. [ Forcefully. ] And I didn't ask for your help, did I? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)