InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I am the Queen of France!"

Dr. Spencer Reid (thisiscalm) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2014-03-17 15:16:00

Entry tags:

artemis crock, bonnie bennett, data, elena gilbert, ianto jones, kitty pryde (aoa), piter de vries, rebecca crane, sam winchester, spencer reid, tieria erde, zatanna zatara

263 // audio
[ It's now or never and although he was hoping that some time would push that towards now rather than never, Reid really doesn't feel like he's ready. He feels raw and exhausted and although he's pushed himself to go out and get some clothes that aren't borrowed from Karev's closet, he's so not in a place where public announcements are possible.

But he has to. Now or never. Movements dull, he reaches for the communicator. ]

...░m back. [ A stretch of static-y silence. ] I'm so░▒y.

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	thisiscalm 2014-04-28 09:32 am UTC (link)
	No... I don't think you have. [ Because they don't talk about private matters. Work and sometimes the emotions that go into work, but nothing private. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

tallerthanthou
2014-05-04 03:18 am UTC (link)

She was my girlfriend. Actually, she didn't know it, but I was planning to ask her to marry me after I got accepted into law school. I'd left the family business behind. It just didn't leave me behind.

I agreed to one hunt with Dean and when he dropped me off afterward I found her—pinned to the ceiling, dripping blood and then everything just went up in flames. If Dean hadn't gotten me out of there I probably would have died with her. [It was years ago. Practically another life for him now, and yet it hasn't stopped hurting. He understands more about the larger picture of what happened that night and why, but if anything that just makes the guilt twist tighter. There are pauses in his retelling and while he isn't getting too emotional it's clearly not an easy topic to discuss.]

It was the same way my Mom died when I was a baby. The same demon. Because of me.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-05-04 11:17 am UTC (link)
	Sam... [ What do you even say to that? The same thing people have been telling him since this morning. ] I'm so sorry. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tallerthanthou 2014-05-04 01:42 pm UTC (link)
	Thanks, but I didn't tell you for sympathy. I just wanted you to know I understand. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-05-04 02:01 pm UTC (link)
	[ Hesitation. ] It's not really the same, is it? [ Close though. Really close. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tallerthanthou 2014-05-04 03:10 pm UTC (link)
	It's not that different either, is it? We're both trained to stop things like that from happening and they still happen. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-05-04 05:22 pm UTC (link)
	I suppose. [ Pause. ] I should've seen this coming. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tallerthanthou 2014-05-05 03:16 am UTC (link)
	That's how I felt too. Maybe that's why I had the dreams for so long afterward. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-05-05 06:40 pm UTC (link)
	[ Dreams... ] Nightmares? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tallerthanthou 2014-05-05 09:04 pm UTC (link)
	[He nods.] Nightmares about Jess and the fire for awhile. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-05-06 11:23 am UTC (link)
	[ He nods, hesitant. ] ...I haven't slept yet. Not really. [ Dozing off but never really getting to a point of dreams. ] Nightmares aren't exactly something new though. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tallerthanthou 2014-05-06 04:23 pm UTC (link)
	[He knows the sleepless nights too.] Have you eaten? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-05-06 05:24 pm UTC (link)
	A little. [ Don't baby him, Sam. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tallerthanthou 2014-05-06 05:26 pm UTC (link)
	[Does profiler want his rattle? But he seems happy enough with "a little."] I wonder how they decide who gets the sneak peek on more memories. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-05-06 05:28 pm UTC (link)
	[ You realize he still has his gun, right. ] Makes you wonder, huh? Or... how they pick how much we experience. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tallerthanthou 2014-05-06 06:22 pm UTC (link)
	Or if it's all planned or it actually is random and accidental. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-05-07 07:41 am UTC (link)
	If we had more data we could check for statistical significance but that's one thing that's hard to come by around here... [ Speaking of. ] How has the Investigation Team managed? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tallerthanthou 2014-05-11 10:53 pm UTC (link)
	Pretty well. You left things organized. Kitty wanted us pushing harder on disappearances after you...you know. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-05-12 10:10 pm UTC (link)
	We should've worked that angle harder from the beginning... maybe it wasn't such a bad thing. Puts things in perspective, you know? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tallerthanthou 2014-05-14 03:49 am UTC (link)
	You're glad you left? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-05-14 09:55 pm UTC (link)
	I didn't say that... [ He so isn't. ] Just trying to look at the bright side, I suppose. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tallerthanthou 2014-05-19 02:05 pm UTC (link)
	Sure. How are things back home? Not just...the last part, but everything? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-05-19 04:07 pm UTC (link)
	It's... fine, I guess. We lost a co-worker to the Interpol. JJ got married. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tallerthanthou 2014-05-23 03:53 am UTC (link)
	If you're going to lose a co-worker that's probably one of the better ways to do it. [His just die.] JJ is a friend? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-05-23 12:59 pm UTC (link)
	She used to be our communications liaison, but she recently joined the profiler team. [ A beat. ] She's one of my best friends. I'm the godfather to her son. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)