InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "WOOHOO! WOOHOOHOOHOO!!!"

Dr. Spencer Reid (thisiscalm) wrote in marinanova,
@ 2014-03-17 15:16:00

Entry tags:

artemis crock, bonnie bennett, data, elena gilbert, ianto jones, kitty pryde (aoa), piter de vries, rebecca crane, sam winchester, spencer reid, tieria erde, zatanna zatara

263 // audio
[ It's now or never and although he was hoping that some time would push that towards now rather than never, Reid really doesn't feel like he's ready. He feels raw and exhausted and although he's pushed himself to go out and get some clothes that aren't borrowed from Karev's closet, he's so not in a place where public announcements are possible.

But he has to. Now or never. Movements dull, he reaches for the communicator. ]

...░m back. [ A stretch of static-y silence. ] I'm so░▒y.

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thisiscalm
2014-03-29 11:39 pm UTC (link)

[ He will let her and it doesn't take long before he turns tentative into desperate. He could really use some hugs right now but the only person he's really had around who he can hug is also... the one he feels like he betrayed. Or that he's betraying Maeve with. Life is a complicated thing, these days.

He wraps his arms around her, face buried against her shoulder. Really not doing too good, but at least he isn't crying. Barely. ]

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	needmymp3 2014-03-30 08:58 pm UTC (link)
	[Rebeca's always prided herself on her hugs, soothingly rubbing circles over his back with one hand while keeping him tight to her with her other arm.] It's alright. [It's not, perhaps, but one can always hope.] It'll be alright. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

thisiscalm
2014-03-30 09:25 pm UTC (link)

[ He nods against her, but there isn't much conviction. Intellectually he knows that it'll get easier and easier and one day he'll be okay again, but emotionally it's an entirely different story. ]

We deal with cases like this all the time... most of them are so much worse but this- [ Easier to talk now that he can't look at her, just spew word after word against her shoulder. ] I didn't even get to...

I would've died for her. I tried to.

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needmymp3
2014-03-30 09:40 pm UTC (link)

Oh, Reid. [Soft, her cheek pressed in against his and her hug all that much tighter.]

I'm so sorry. [There's nothing really to say, it'll always be there. A reminder, a mark left behind from the lost ones - but the only thing Rebecca knows is how to march on. And how to hold him, massaging the nape of his neck and murmuring 'deep breaths' gently.]

What was her name? [Can she ask?]

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thisiscalm
2014-03-30 09:44 pm UTC (link)

Maeve. Maeve Donovan. [ He draws a breath but for once he doesn't hold back. Not with her. It's nice just to have someone listen and say it sucks without trying to convince him that it's okay or that he'll be fine or that nothing is wrong. ]

She's a geneticist... she saw some of my fMRI scans and helped me get rid of the migraines. After that... we talked on the phone every Sunday for ten months. I... I hadn't seen her face to face until...

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	needmymp3 2014-03-30 10:07 pm UTC (link)
	She sounds wonderful. [No past tenses allowed. Rebecca plays her hands through his hair.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-03-31 02:51 pm UTC (link)
	She is. [ He swallows. Hard. ] Was. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	needmymp3 2014-04-01 05:44 am UTC (link)
	How are you coping here? [She asks calmly, in a tone of voice usually reserved for calming over-network missions back home. It's even and hopefully soothing.] All things considered? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-04-01 07:17 am UTC (link)
	[ She's so good at this. Surprisingly so. He pulls back a little, head bowed. ] Honestly..? Not great. Just being back... [ Kind of breaking his brain as well as his heart. ] I don't know what to do with Kitty. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	needmymp3 2014-04-01 11:05 pm UTC (link)
	[She gives him a little space, but still keeps her arms sound around him.] Ah. Does she know? I mean, if you need space I'm sure she'll... understand. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-04-03 06:25 pm UTC (link)
	She knows. She's... great. She's been great about it. [ Mostly, but he can't really complain. ] I guess I just don't know how I feel about... everything. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	needmymp3 2014-04-03 09:31 pm UTC (link)
	That's... understandable, you know. You've been through a lot. [She chews her lip.] I mean, timelines are bad enough as it is before they crossroad on each other. I don't blame you if you don't know what to do or think, let alone feel over it. You lost someone... you don't need to make up your mind quickly. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-04-04 07:03 pm UTC (link)
	But I still have to live with her. [ And that's the kicker. He doesn't want to leave, certainly not if it means being on his own but being around Kitty every day... it's going to be tough. Maybe too tough. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	needmymp3 2014-04-04 10:32 pm UTC (link)
	Not saying it won't be hard, but you don't... have to, you know. [She's not suggesting a breakup by any means!] Just some time apart, even every other night might give you some... space to think and sort it out. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-04-05 05:33 pm UTC (link)
	I don't know if that's an option... Nathan, you know. I can't just abandon him... again. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	needmymp3 2014-04-05 07:29 pm UTC (link)
	You're still around. You can still talk to him, can't you? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-04-05 07:55 pm UTC (link)
	If he still wants me to. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	needmymp3 2014-04-05 09:05 pm UTC (link)
	This wasn't your fault; why wouldn't he? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-04-05 09:06 pm UTC (link)
	Try telling him that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	needmymp3 2014-04-05 09:29 pm UTC (link)
	If you want, I will. [She will be your bro, she ain't afraid.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-04-05 09:34 pm UTC (link)
	[ There's a clear moment of hesitation. That's... tempting. ] No... I'll handle it. I just hope he doesn't do anything stupid before I can get through to him again. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	needmymp3 2014-04-05 10:37 pm UTC (link)
	... He's not that dangerous, is he? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-04-05 10:43 pm UTC (link)
	To others? No... the psych eval said that it was only a matter of time before he did try to kill someone, but I don't think he's there yet. To himself though... that's a different story. [ He rubs his hands subconsciously together, as if he's still acutely aware of Nathan's blood seeping through his fingers. ] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	needmymp3 2014-04-06 01:37 am UTC (link)
	This might sound kind of awful and I acknowledge it ahead of time, okay. But. [...] But I'd rather see you sort yourself out before you work on someone else, just for... hell, the logic of it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	thisiscalm 2014-04-06 03:40 pm UTC (link)
	[ He makes a noise. A huff of air. ] That's not really a luxury I have. Not back home and definitely not here. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

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